Betwixt and Between

I like this time between Christmas and New Year's Day, being inside the parentheses of traditionally major celebrations. One of Superman's favorite movies is "While You Were Sleeping" with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. Are you familiar with that one? Sandra Bullock (Superman thinks she's sexy) plays "Lucy" who fantasizes she's in love with a guy who falls off the 'L' platform on Christmas Day. He spends this week between Christmas and New Years in a coma. Suspended animation. While I'm no where near being in a coma, and I have been known to get shit done, it is nevertheless a week of time where ordinary feels out of place.

As long as Superman has worked at his current place of employment, this week has been out of the ordinary at the plant. The first few years he worked there they had "shut down" and he had to work extra hours doing the maintenance shit that has to happen when the machines aren't running. This place runs a 24/7 manufacturing operation that doesn't stop willy-nilly. Then he moved into a position at the company where he had nothing to do during "shut down" so he took the week off. He had to save vacation time to do it, of course. Now that he's been with the company over 18 years he has lots of vacation time to play with. This year, however, the vagaries of production, sales, natural disasters, etc. have changed the traditional down time so the plant is still running. Also Superman's had to take a lot of vacation days for health related problems throughout the year. Health and family emergencies. Refer to the archives regarding drama with the kids. He hasn't got vacation time left to take off this week. But then, as if his subconscious knows he's not supposed to work this week, he caught a doozy of a chest cold and has been in bed most of the week. Including Christmas Day. He went in to work Friday, but only managed half a day before he got so weak and exhausted he had to come home. The fever has quit, he's able to stay awake for hours at a time now, and his voice sort of works again. His normal tenor voice is basso profondo, but he's at least able to speak.

Light and Twitch were both home for Christmas. I drove Twitch back to Charlotte on Thursday. It's the first time since my hernia surgery that I've driven, so of course rather than driving a few miles around town, I drove almost 300 miles, half of that with a loaded pick up truck. Twitch is moving out of his apartment, but with no other plans for housing, he will move in with some friends for temporary. He'll be sleeping on the floor in the living room. So he asked me to bring a bunch of his stuff home until he gets something permanent. Still not allowed to lift over 5 pounds (yeah, like that's happened), I couldn't do much to help him pack his stuff. I got home safely, but of course the others had to unpack the truck. I was OK with this plan.

It was really good having Light home for Christmas this year. She didn't make it home last year until the second week of January. She was only here for about three days, but it was a very good visit. I enjoyed Twitch's company for the most part, and he's much more chillaxed now that he's taking Celexa. Those SSRIs are wonderful. Sproing was a pain in the butt most of the week, and his outbursts really stressed out Twitch. Twitch's stress-out recovery time is shorter now, thank Celexa. Ironically, Sproing is also on Celexa, but it doesn't help him be less annoying. Unless it does and I just don't appreciate the difference. God help us.

Superman has a nasty cough. It's being productive now; I'll spare you the details. The man coughs very loudly. I feel sorry for him. To lessen the chance of contamination he hasn't kissed me in a week. That right there sucks. He's right beside me, but I miss him. Does that make sense? I miss being closer. He's my spouse, but this feels a bit like roommates. Ah, well. He's getting better.

I have read a lot this week. Mostly gay romance. I needed something light and hadn't had a gay romance fix in a while. Problem is, when I'm really into a story I hate to stop so I end up staying up half (3/4ths? 7/8ths?) the night to finish the story. Even when the story isn't that good, dammit! My mom always reads when she goes to bed, but she falls asleep with the book in her hand. Me, I don't fall asleep. Occasionally I'll get tired enough to put the book down, but unless I'm totally spent my brain will keep me awake thinking about the story. In which case I might as well stay up and read, right? Superman, the dear, is able to sleep even if the bedside light is on. Bless his heart. He has no idea (I think) how late I was up last night (this morning). My point is that wow, I'm sleepy. Think I'll go ahead and post this, floss and brush my teeth, shove the cat out of my spot on the bed and go to sleep.

Java! Do NOT pick up your Kindle! 

'Twas a couple o' days before Christmas...

Feeling groovy. Ish. I'm not taking the high power pain meds anymore after my hernia surgery. Today I was finally able to take the bandages off the incision site. It doesn't so much hurt as itch like a sonofabitch. The area was covered with a gauze bandage and stuck on with one of those large pieces of clear plastic adhesive stuff. Superman called it a "plaster" and says the entire English speaking world calls that a plaster except the U.S. Anyway, I've had that adhesive stuck to my belly for six days. The skin doesn't like that foolishness. Now the whole area itches. I've got dissolving stitches covered by steri-strip bandages. Those will come off on their own, says the doctor. That part itches, too, but the worst is the freshly released skin all around my navel. I'd rather it itch than hurt, though. Being off the hydrocodone, eating real food, and taking a bit of laxative has helped the bowels behave better.  And as you know, a happy bowel contributes much toward general happiness.





Light and Twitch are home now. It was wonderful; Light stopped in Charlotte to see Twitch, and decided to bring him home so neither Superman nor I had to drive to get him. She's a good kid. That was Friday. She stayed the night (we took her and Twitch out to our favorite pizza and beer place) and left early Saturday morning for Charleston, where she met up with a good friend and went to the wedding of a friend of that friend. They stayed in Charleston last night and came home today. Tonight she and her friend and another good friend of theirs, all good buddies from high school, have gone out to the drive-in theater to see "The Hobbit." This was a picture the middle one put on her Facebork page tonight celebrating the reunion of these particular three musketeers. Light is on the right, the one with the biggest silly grin. :-)

(Warning: boring paragraph about cooking follows)
I'm back in the kitchen again. Haven't done much cooking since last weekend. Last night I fixed my favorite macaroni and cheese recipe, double-and-a-half, to make enough for this big hungry crowd. It was well received. Today I started some red sauce for lasagna, but never got around to putting together the lasagna. Perhaps that will be our Christmas Eve dinner. C made some red sauce to go with some penne for a late lunch for him and his he-wishes-he-was-his-boyfriend-but-right-now-they're-"just-friends" and I added his leftovers to my pot of stuff. I haven't tasted it yet, but I suspect it will be wunnerful. There are stealth vegetables in the sauce. I processed some carrots to just shy of puree and added them to the sauce. That might add a hint of sweetness, too. There's no way I'll ever be able to replicate that sauce.

Also, I baked some more bread. And I'll be making stuffing (or do you call it dressing?) to go with the turkey for Christmas dinner using a variety of breads. I'm getting excited about doing stuff again. For the last couple of weeks my give-a-shit has been hobbled. For the next week or two (or three?) I'm limited in how much weight I can lift. Five pounds. That's it. Do you now how many things in the kitchen weigh more than five pounds? My favorite cast iron skillet, for one. And the food processor. (Full disclosure: Superman actually  ran the carrots through the processor.) (He also scraped them into the sauce pot because if he does it all the carrot pieces get into the pot. If I do it a lot of carrot bits are randomly strewn around the stove top. And beside the stove. And probably other unlikely places.)

If there was more I intended to say I have since forgotten it. I could regale you with recent infractions of the law perpetrated by Sproing and/or Diva's trouble with her big mouth as relates to staying at school. A lot of that kind of shit happened while I was on my blogging sabbatical. It was depressing, and I didn't want to talk about it. It's merry happy holiday time now and I don't want to talk about it. And since I can't remember what else I was going to say, I guess I'll stop now. This rambling has gone on long enough for one post.

Thursday stuff

Doesn't seem like Thursday to me. Actually, I'm disconnected from days right now. I had minor outpatient surgery two days ago. A small hernia repair that the doctors seemed to think was necessary. I blogged about that recently. The surgeon disabled my pop-up timer. Yeah, I'm sore. It's a localized soreness, there at my navel. I'm fine if I don't move. Also taking Lortab. Hydrocodone. So yeah, I'm disconnected from days and a few other things as well.

Just talked to an old friend of mine. Received a Christmas card from her yesterday with a brief update letter to let everyone know their house burned down!! About 2.5 weeks ago their house burned down. They've lived there 20 years, raised five kids in it. It was an old farmhouse, and evidently there was some electrical short or something in the living room wall that started the thing. No one was in the house, but she and her youngest daughter were on the property. Poor gals had to watch their house burn down. They got the pets out before it got too smokey. I'm freaking out about it, but hell, it wasn't my house. I talked to her for maybe 20 minutes, and she sounds numb. They're managing. Going to rebuild. Have received a lot of help from friends and neighbors and the Red Cross. They live close to us, the next county over. She does our taxes.

The young kids are home now, on winter break. Or Christmas break, whichever term seems appropriate. I don't care what it's called, I just care that they are home. So far it isn't too bad. Had my surgery the last day of school, so I've been drugged and out of it since they've been home. I'm leaving them alone and they're mostly getting along.

I'm supposed to drive to Charlotte to bring Twitch home for Christmas. Was going to do that tomorrow, but might need to wait until Saturday. My boo-boo needs a bit more healing time before I drive for five hours. Light is leaving Pennsylvania this evening to head this way. She'll take a nap at Twitch's place on her way down, then she's going to Charleston before coming home. The weather between western Pennsylvania and here is a bit dodgy right now, raining with snow in the forecast. Hopefully she'll be far enough south by the time the snow hits so as to avoid it. I'm worried about her driving so far under such conditions, but hell, I've done the same thing myself many times. So I'm going to pretend not to worry.

If there was anything else to say I have forgotten. Kinda spacey. Might be nap time again. Sleep helps the healing process, right? And it's a cool, rainy day, the kind that 's good for naps. Yeah. Nap.

For everything there is a season

Is life always this hard?

And of course "hard" is a relative thing. Right now I'm struggling, but I can think of others, some I know, some I know of, who are going through worse, more difficult situations. That can change my perspective but not my situation.

Depression probably has something to do with this mess. I can feel it creeping over me like a shroud. I've been better recently. Over the past few months my depression has been lighter and I've had strange feelings of hopefulness, excitement, optimism. Strange, but nice. This darkness is familiar, but not so fun.

The hard parts that hold my attention right now involve parenting troubled teenagers. Again. As always. They are so difficult. Sproing seems bent on making poor decisions. He's failing half his classes, which is an improvement from a few weeks ago when he was failing everything except PE. He can be such a nice fellow, and he's intelligent. Intelligence is very different from wisdom. Yes, most almost-15-year-olds lack wisdom and have bad attitudes. This kid is extreme. He has always been extreme. Superman and I don't know quite how to deal with him.

In other news Diva is doing better. Not great, but better. Her attitude only stinks sometimes. But when she gets irritated her temper flares hot and high. She got two days suspension for insubordination to a teacher then to the assistant principal. She was home Thursday and Friday. Thank the Norns she goes back to school Monday. Unfortunately Tuesday is the last day of school before the winter break.

Maybe that's why I'm depressed. I'm looking at two weeks of having these little creatures underfoot all the time. Sproing is grounded until at least the end of December. Oh, I didn't tell you (I don't think) about him being on probation. That happened when I wasn't blogging these last few months.

He and a "friend" committed burglary in the second degree and malicious damage to real property less than $2000. He has to pay restitution, half of the whole, in the amount of $302.50. I'm thankful it wasn't any more expensive. He's working off the money around the house. Which of course means we are paying it. Getting some work out of him, but paying nevertheless. And he bitches about having to do anything. We don't work him hard enough, that's part of the problem. We are way too nice. He is on probation for six months or until he pays off his restitution, whichever is longer. So six months is the minimum (with time off for good behavior, which he hasn't earned yet) with a possibility of being extended if he doesn't pay. Since we're managing the money, "he" is paying. Of course if he doesn't do the work, he won't have the payment.

Superman mentioned the old apprenticeship system. If things still worked that way he would be apprenticed to someone by now, and a couple of years into it. We'd see him on holidays and such, but he'd be working for and living with someone else. And Diva turned 15 a couple of weeks ago, so she'd be married off by now, or close to it. Of course life expectancy back in those days was a lot younger, so me at 50 and Superman at 52 would be dead or close to it. Meh.

Superman and I are going out to dinner at our favorite place this evening. It's 'bout time to go. Perhaps we can have a fun evening. Beer and pizza are involved, so the prospects for fun are good.

Mid December rambling

Listening to


at the recommendation of Victor. I recently discovered his blog, and boy, do I like it! I'm trying to add his blog to my blog list over there on the right, but Blogger isn't cooperating. Either that or I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. The latter is more probable.

As previously posted, Twitch graduated from college yesterday. Superman and I went to Charlotte for the festivities. We had a lovely time, but did not leave the city until nearly 10:00 last night. Two and a half hours (approx.) to get home, then I had some baking to do. I think I mentioned in a recent post that I have renewed my domestic efforts, vis. cooking and baking. I am baking all of our bread now. A couple of days ago I fed the bread starter and had rather a lot of starter to work with. As many people as we have eating all my bread, I decided to make a large batch. I failed to account for spending all yesterday away from home. Before we left home I put the dough in the bread pans for the second rising, hoping that it would rise slowly. This bread does rise much more slowly than typical yeast bread. But not that slowly. It over-proofed. Nevertheless, I baked all eight loaves when I returned home after midnight last night. I can only fit four loaf pans in the oven at once, and it cooks for half an hour. By the time the bread was all baked it was 2:fucking-late a.m. Fresh bread usually has a lovely rounded top crust. These crusts fell. The bread looks kinda pathetic. I cut one of the loaves fresh out of the oven, slathered butter on the end piece, and enjoyed. It looks a bit funny, the texture is too loose (don't know how else to describe it), but it tastes damn good! Four pieces of fresh buttered bread good. In related news, I'm not progressing well with my weight loss. This too shall come. Still, last time I checked, I've lost and kept off 30 lbs. Yay me!

But the point I attempted to make is that I am SO tired today! I got up before 8:00 to take Superman to work. He wisely went to bed soon after we got home. I was at least 1.5 hours behind him.

I recently bought myself a couple of long sleeved t-shirts. This is my current favorite.

I'm wearing it today. Coincidentally (on purpose) I'm seeing my therapist today. She likes this shirt, too. At this point my plan is to make it a shorter visit than usual with the therapist (tried and failed at that last week) so I can come home and take a well-deserved nap. Have I mentioned that I love naps?

I'm going in for a bit of surgery next Tuesday (the 18th). Sometime over the past few months I have developed a small hernia just north of my navel. I thought it was an umbilical hernia, but when the surgeon checked he said it was slightly above there. OK. He described it as a small hole in the integument.* He didn't use that word exactly, but I really like it. My belly fat pooks out through the hole when under strain. You know, the way hernias do. I suggested that since the fat was pooking out anyway, he might as well remove all that fat, too. He didn't think so. Shucks. The procedure for the repair is kinda cool. Rather than simply sewing up the hole, he'll put a mesh patch-type thing behind the hole to block it up, sort of like they repair small holes in tires these days. Superman says I'm gonna get a rivet. He also describes the hernia as like unto a turkey pop-up timer.
  It's a lot of fun to be married to that man!

During the pre-surgery tests and paperwork this week I learned that I'll be under general anesthesia. I suggested since it's such a small thing perhaps a local anesthesia would work. But no, they won't do that. In case things are more complicated once they get in there they want to have me already under so they can do what needs to be done. That's how the nice lady explained it. Whatevs. I actually kinda like being under general anesthesia. It's a fun kind of stoned, you know? I also like to have the minimum fuss and bother, hence the request for a local.

Seems there was more I wanted to ramble about, but it is now time for me to go see my Thurpist, so I must depart. Here's the post. Enjoy. (past tense, now, since if you've read this far, you've pretty much read it all)

* Epimysium

The epimysium surrounds the whole skeletal muscle. This is a dense layer of connective tissue. The fascia forms an integument around the epimysium.

That's my boy!!

I am so proud of Twitch!! He graduated yesterday (12-13-2012) from the Art Institute in Charlotte. At mid day the graduates had a portfolio show. It was a networking opportunity; industry employers were invited. He had resumes and business cards to hand out. 

 In the evening they held the graduation exercises. It was a bit less boring than most graduation ceremonies I've been to. The speeches were shorter. I liked that part a lot. The audience was not encouraged to display decorum, which I did NOT like. Things were not done "decently and in order." There was lots of hooting and other embarrassing displays from audience members directed at various graduates. The giggle of girls sitting directly behind us were particularly shrill and loud, to the point that Superman and I covered our ears in pain when they expressed their preference and excitement for a friend. One of the girls leaned forward and apologized afterward, which I did appreciate.

Another frustrating aspect, and it was entirely my fault, is that I did not actually see the boy go across the stage and receive his diploma. I was trying to take a picture with my camera but it didn't work right. I concentrated so on the picture-taking that I missed the event. I regret that. I hate regret, even small ones, and am working to "let it go."

Here he is, the new graduate. Cute, ain't he? 

In other news, my life is frustrating. But I want this post to be all about the boy, so I shall write another post for that purpose. 

The 'Spo Meme

Oh thank goodness. Ur-Spo has, after encouraging me to write a new post already, provided us with a meme so we don't have to come up with another idea for a blog post. 

______________ is jolly good fun!  (driving a truck)

Tea, wine, or champagne? Champagne, the not very expensive stuff, on the sweet side. Not Brut.

How left handed are you? Predominately right handed, but can accomplish a lot with the left hand.

The loudest item of clothing I have is that red skirt I found at the Goodwill store in Indiana, PA. I've only worn it once. I don't "do" loud clothes.

The Best Friend: who is s/he? If we're not counting the husband as best friend (which he pretty much is), my best friend is probably C, the 24 year old gay fella we took in six years ago when his mom kicked him out for being gay. 

I’d rather eat rats in Tewkesbury than attend a pep rally for a high school sports team.

How many of these have you done?:

1. Been to an opera nope

2. Read a novel by Dickens Yes, I've read a few, but the only one I liked was "A Christmas Carol." 

3. Drank Bourbon not that I remember

4. Been to Key West Yes: when I was 4 years old my grandparents took me. I barely remember it, save for my grandmama going swimming in the motel pool and my grandpapa not letting me get within four feet of the edge of the pool for fear I'd fall in and drown. He was a worrier that way. 

5. Visited The Stratford Festival of Canada nope. I've never visited any of Canada, though I'd sure like to. Considering putting "go to a Tim Horton's in Canada" on my bucket list. 

6. Spiders give you the heebie-jeebies. Not really. If it is rapidly approaching me and hairy and bigger than an Eisenhower silver dollar, then yes. 

7. Been to Michigan nope

8. Rolled down a grass hill. Oh YES! Over and over again. Short ones and long ones. One of the defining experiences of my childhood. 

9. Ate Synder Pretzels Butter Snaps. Go. Eat. Be merry. (That would be a "yes.")

10. Used the word ‘rubbish” in the past 30 days. I don't think so, but I will try to if you really want me to.

11. Worn a bow tie nope

12. Have a set of Viking horns Being something of a hoarder, I have many interesting and somewhat unique things. A set of Viking horns, however, is not among my collection. I guess the closest thing I have to Viking horns is a silver-colored metallic hardhat with my maternal grandmother's name  affixed via Dymo lable maker tag circa 1980. Do you remember those old label makers? They looked something like this:

The tag is brown but does not say "ETSY" because that's not my grandmother's name. 

My, my, it's been a while hasn't it?

Ur-spo recently asked for another post from me. I've been meaning to write stuff here for a while, but since it's been so long, it's hard to know where to start, what to pick up, what to leave off.

So I'll tell you what's on my mind right now. Well, some of what's on my mind. As has been demonstrated many times before (see the whole damned archives for my rambling nonsense) there are lots of things that crowd my mind all at once. I'll tell you some of the wisdom I have gathered in the last few months.

I seem to be getting my shit together somewhat. It all stems, I propose, from flossing my teeth regularly. Have I mentioned this yet? My New Year's Resolution for 2012 was to floss my teeth regularly. Of course I've made many a lofty resolution in years past and never fulfilled squat. A couple of weeks into the new year I had my semi-annual teeth cleaning, and at that point decided that I could floss my teeth regularly. It's a small thing, very small, and something I can probably keep doing. And I have. All this year I've almost never failed to floss before I brush my teeth at bedtime.

This has led to other changes in my personal lifestyle (or I credit the flossing since I don't know what else it could be). Sometime (I think) late in the summer (though I can't recall exactly) it slowly dawned on me that I don't really need all that food I've been eating. For many years (my entire adult life) I have been something of a compulsive overeater. If one cookie is good, twelve are better. If I want it, I eat it, and not in small quantity either. My size, my weight, attest to this fact. As I've said for years, I'm twice the woman I should be. But now, if I lost half my current weight I'd be a bit too small. Yes, I have lost weight! Over 30 lbs! I'm eating healthier and eating less. I don't need all that extra food to make me happy (or whatever my silly brain has been trying to compensate for).

The next step (one of them) is more stepping. The "trick" to weight loss is to eat less and move more. I have yet to psych myself up to exercise, but I'm thinking about it. Actually, I am moving a bit more. Weighing less has given me more energy. I can walk more easily. I occasionally park farther out in parking lots to walk extra. Oh, I'll tell you a tiny story. Last week I made a major grocery excursion; bought $300 worth of fairly cheap stuff at Wal-Mart. Took two carts to haul it all out to the truck. C was home to help me carry it all in from the truck, but I could have done it if I'd had to. And I put it all away. A few months ago I didn't have the stamina to stay in the store that long, much less haul stuff to the car, unload it, and put it away. Now I'll tell you, I was bushed afterward. Rested a while. Then I got up and did more stuff.

Thanksgiving I cooked almost the entire dinner (lots of stuff) by myself. Superman and Light have cooked most of Thanksgiving dinner in recent years. Light is now in Pennsylvania and hasn't been here for Thanksgiving for two years. Superman tore the medial gastrocnemius in his right calf the day before Thanksgiving and was practically no help with cooking. He chopped some veggies. Diva helped with a couple of things, but that was work for me, too, because I gave guidance. Dinner turned out great. That felt good!

I decided a month or two ago to do a lot more cooking. For one thing, I've cut out most meat. Still do poultry sometimes though I'm trying to cut that out, too. Still do seafood and have no qualms about that. We've had a lot of vegetarian meals over the past few weeks. I searched through some of my recipe collections for stuff that either is or can be meat free. I've been planning weekly meals!!  This is unheard of. Haven't been this gung-ho domestic since our early marriage. Tonight we had awesome mac-n-cheese with mushrooms, onions, and carrots chopped up fine in it. Four kinds of cheese, small shell pasta (my favorite). Awesome.

I've had a turkey in the freezer for probably over a year, and didn't use it at Thanksgiving, so Sproing convinced me to pull it out and cook it. That's dinner for tomorrow. It won't be the full T'giving spread, but I'll have a lot of the same stuff. No dressing, no green bean casserole this time. Sweet potatoes, definitely. Found a low fat recipe for sweet potato casserole that is, if anything, better than the rich delicious one my mother-in-law taught me.

Part of the impetus for all this domesticity is financial concerns. Our expenses are rising and income isn't. I'm sort of supposed to be getting a job now, you know, to pay off my student loans and shit. That was the agreement when I went back to school. Except I keep needing to be at home to take care of stuff. For example, Superman can't drive at all until after he sees the orthopedist in January, if then. He's got a big boot (walking boot they call it) that he might be able to stop using in 6 weeks. So I'm his chauffeur. The kids always need to be taken to various psycho-medical appointments. Diva got herself suspended for two days (tomorrow (Tues) and Wednesday) and I need to be here to manage her time. We do not want her to enjoy being suspended! Even if tomorrow is her birthday. But she is a whole other blog post I don't want to write right now. The point is that I am trying to do stuff at home that saves us money.

OH, and speaking of, I started making bread again. I used to make all our bread many years ago (before Twitch was born, I think. He's 21, almost 22). I use a starter called Herman. (I don't know why "Herman"). Here is the bread recipe. Have made it twice so far. The first time Sproing ate almost a whole loaf by himself. Yesterday I divided the starter into two containers so I can make a couple of loaves every two or three days. With all the hungry people in this house we need at least that much. I really like making bread. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it. And now I have the energy to do it!

That's about all I can think to share tonight. I endeavor to get back here before too long to ramble on about other things, like Diva and Sproing and their shenanigans. And Twitch graduates with a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design in less than two weeks. What's he gonna do next? So far he has no job lined up. My Mama just got out of the hospital today after suffering with a nasty urinary tract infection that had her fever up to 103+ for days. My dad goes in to the hospital for a heart valve replacement in less than two weeks. He told me he's getting a valve from an Arkansas Razorback Hog.
 
He's been a Florida Gator fan most of his life, and I told him he's gonna be compelled to root for Arkansas now. He's a trip.

Is there any past drama that you'd like me to update? Any questions I've left hanging that you'd like answers to? Just ask. I'll do my best to provide answers in a follow-up blog post. Soon, even!

I used to be interesting

I used to be interested. In life. I vaguely remember getting excited about doing things. I think I used to be excited about getting up in the morning and accomplishing tasks. But now I got nuthin'. I'm bored and lonely and don't like being with the two kids who still live with me. They suck the life out of me.

I still enjoy spending time with my husband. We went to lunch together yesterday and both enjoyed it very much. Then yesterday evening the kids came home and ruined a good day. Now Superman is grumpy and I don't give a shit about anything.

Think I have a bottle of Fuckitall in the fridge. Might indulge.

The Fagot Shack!

I am fascinated with tiny homes, small shacks, cabins, etc. This morning while perusing the Cabin Porn website (yes, really) I found this illustration. It's from Shelters, Shacks, and Shanties and How to Make Them. I think I'll buy the book, and not only because it can teach me how to make a fagot shack.

But please, no smoking fags in the fagot shack.

Aubergine

I have recently learned a few things about aubergine. I've known for years that it is a color.
and a nice one, at that.

But a recent Google exploration reveals that aubergine is also one of the names of the plant I know as eggplant. Who knew? Wikipedia has lots of interesting information about this plant. In addition to eggplant and aubergine, it is known in various parts of the world as brinjal eggplant, melongene, brinjal or guinea squash. Solanum melongena  is the botanical name. This information fascinates me.

For quite a while now I've wanted to get a purple PT Cruiser in order to call it The Eggplant, because that's what a purple PT Cruiser looks like to me.

Now, however, I want a PT Cruiser of this color in order to name her "Aubergine." I like that better.

And now, a bit about Spontaneous Generation. Do you remember learning about this in school, probably science class? Seems none other than Aristotle held this theory that some living things can come from inanimate stuff. My personal favorite example is that old rags and corn kernels can create mice. For the morbid among us: dead flesh gives rise to maggots.

I bring this up because we have in our house an unexpected congregation of flies. Houseflies, specifically. They've been flying around the kitchen window and the window in my office. My office is in what would be the formal dining room if this house were used as intended by the mid-20th century architects, and is adjacent to the kitchen. My office is on the east side, the kitchen on the west side of the house. Both windows are unobstructed and I think the flies suppose they can escape by heading toward the light. If I were to construct a spider web in the doorway between the two rooms I could probably catch them all. We don't know where the flies are coming from, or how they are getting into the house. Hence spontaneous generation.

These are the thoughts in my head that I've been eager to share with you. There are other things I feel I need to report on, such as the situation with Diva (she's been calmer, less likely to need law enforcement intervention since school started three weeks ago), our vehicle situation since I wrecked the car (haven't gotten another one, we're having my old truck fixed so I can use that for now), and I'm not sure what else. I still haven't even downloaded the pictures from my camera, the ones I took when I was on my adventure that eventually lead to me wrecking the car. I have pictures of the wreck (it's badly crinkled on the front driver's side), and pictures from the state park where I stayed in West Virginia. I was there a couple of weeks after that strange extreme storm that raked through from the Ohio Valley to the East Coast back in late June. The tree damage was amazing. I took pictures. Got a couple of shots of Sproing on the back of his Uncle M's motorcycle while we were still in Florida. All of that is still on my phone. I keep meaning to write up some details on my summertime drama with pictures, but I get distracted. I blame FaceBork. And my ADD.

Interesting factoid about the wrecked Aveo. I broke the transmission. Wish I could have seen it. It was discovered when those-people-who-do-these-things got the car to the dealership and up on the rack. I think that was the clincher that totaled the car. With all the body damage, the fools were saying they may repair it. That was before they got a good look at the underside. Also, it had way more miles on the odometer than they expected. I like to drive. The car is five years old and had 119K miles on it. I've been from Florida to Vermont in that thing, and not all in one trip. Back and forth from South Carolina to western Pennsylvania a few times. Four, maybe six? Not five, because that would leave me in Pennsylvania when I am obviously (to me) in South Carolina. Trust me.

Speaking of South Carolina, our weather has thankfully moderated. It is no longer beastly hot. Highs this week have been in the mid 80s (high 20s for the rest of the world) and our humidity is reasonable. I HATE walking out the door and into a blast furnace/sauna combo. It's still too warm for me (for me, mind you) to turn off the air conditioner. Ten degrees cooler and I'll open the windows.

My taste in humor

Does anyone know who writes this comic? I'd love to see more of his/her work, and want to give credit where credit is due.

Also, I find this extremely amusing. Funny, even.

Also also, I'm amused that I already have "ennui" as a tag on this blog.

UPDATE: A friend told me that this comic is Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal written by Zach Weiner. I think Superman and Light both read this one. I can see why.

'Tis past time for another post

And there is so much going on that I'd like to discuss. Actually, so much has happened in the last three months that I'm having trouble sorting it out to write about it.

Therefore, random thoughts:

I broke my toe on June 1st. Baby toe, right foot, by stubbing it on a chair leg. Sucker hurt for two months, but has healed now and no longer hurts when I twist the toe. Cutting that toenail was a bitch for a while.

I wrecked the car on the 20th of July in Clintonville, West Virginia. Clintonville is a wide spot in the road due east of Sam Black Church, West Virginia. Yep, the name of the hamlet/village/whistle-stop is Sam Black Church. That amuses me.

On the 20th of August the kids started the new school year. Praise all the possible gods. Much of July I spent trying to avoid my children. Took Sproing on a road trip to separate him and Diva. Left him with Light in Pennsylvania to get away from him. (Unfortunately, escaping from my kids also involved escaping from my husband, which I don't want to do. It was so good to get back with him.) Now that they are in school or en route from 7:30 til after 4:00, my life is much more peaceful. Though I dread the school bus bringing them home in the afternoon. Afternoons and evenings are long and tedious.

The week before school started was very difficult, children-wise. Well, mostly Diva. On Tuesday she shoved me into a wall and called me a 'ho. I called the police. On Thursday she attacked Superman, kicking and scratching and pulling at him. I called the police. When the police come out, we file complaints against her which are turned over to Dept. of Juvenile Justice (DJJ) who in turn send it to the solicitor's office. We've yet to see anything done in response to these complaints. I'm about ready for her to go to jail.

But since school started a week ago she's been fine. No fighting, no arguing, no back-talk, no cursing. She and Sproing are even getting along with each other. It's only a matter of time before she gets all Jerry Springer on us again. I enjoy her cooperative attitude, but I don't trust her. We're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm spent. Emotionally drained. Tired. Unmotivated to do much. There are things I'd like to accomplish around the house, but for the last week all I've done is sit in my chair and surf the internet or watch Netflix movies.

Right now the rest of the family is at home. Superman has a headache and is resting. The kids just washed my truck. I need to go check on that. Then I should do something about supper.

There is much more I want to discuss, stuff like feelings and observations, but that will have to wait for another time. It's time to get off my fat ass and do something useful.

A comfort car: sort of like comfort food, but not.

How I got home after crashing my car and being stranded in West Virginia

When we last heard from Java she had successfully completed the day in which she wrecked her car. 

Of course I had talked to Superman quite a few times that day. He decided to drive up and rescue me. That was the only viable option for getting me back home, really. He drove from Greenwood SC to Lewisburg WV on Saturday, arriving at 5:00 p.m. I was SO GLAD to see him! It had been two weeks since I last saw him, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed him. That, I think, is the longest we've been away from each other since we got married 29 years ago. He had it worse, of course, being the one left at home. I always miss him more when I'm the one at home and he's gone on some adventure.

I woke up Saturday morning with a very stiff and sore neck. I expected something like that would happen. My neck and shoulders ached. OTC pain relievers helped a good bit. Since I hadn't been able to poke around downtown Lewisburg as I had planned the day before, I went on down there and had a blast (until my pain reliever wore off). There were a few art galleries, some cute stores, antique shops,  little local restaurants - the kind of thing that makes these small towns so adorable.

I rambled along until I came to an Irish pub called The Irish Pub. It was 2:00, my neck hurt again, and I was hungry. So I got a bowl of red beans and rice (spicy! Superman would have liked it more than I did. I ate it all, though.) and a beer. Because hey, it's a pub. Sat at the bar next to an interesting character. I refer to him as "the stoner." He's supposed to be starting med school in the fall. My prediction is that he won't get far in that endeavor. But I could be wrong. It was interesting dinner conversation, for sure. And let me tell ya', beer is great for a sore neck! That one beer (I was driving or I'd have had two) helped my neck about as much as the pain reliever did. The beneficial effect didn't last as long, though.

I went back to the hotel to wait for Superman. What a sight for sore eyes when he drove up! Oh, I was so glad to be back in his presence. He said pretty much the same thing. He does not do well when we are apart.

I took him back to the The Irish Pub for supper, because damn! They had a live band playing traditional Irish tunes on various stringed instruments and a drum. And Superman tried Bushmills Whiskey. He doesn't drink much liquor. Had tried whiskey before but it was cheap nasty stuff. But someone told him that Bushmills was good, and he had a shot. He says Bushmills is good! I had another beer, but just one because I was driving. We had a really good time.

I talked him into staying an extra day. He originally planned to drive back home Sunday, but I wanted to show him the nifty stuff I'd seen there in West Virginia, and I wanted to spend some quality time with him before returning to all those home responsibilities, you know? So we had a lovely day Sunday and drove home on Monday. This is the first time in, I dunno, more than a decade that he and I have had a few days alone together. Man, it was great! Diva stayed home with C, who didn't supervise her very well and she stayed up until 5 a.m. watching TV. Oh well. Superman and I got to spend some time alone together!

Today Superman and I are driving up to Light's place. Sproing is still there with her, and he needs to come home. She says he's eaten her out of house and home. He's 14. You know. They're getting along well, though. And Light is moving out of her current place. Daddy and Sproing are going to help her move. Mom is going to sit in the air conditioned cafe and drink coffee and surf the interwebs while those other brave souls are moving heavy boxes in the hot summer sun.

Originally the plan was for Superman to go up by himself and me to stay home with the Diva. After being apart for so long, we don't want to be away from each other. So I've engaged a young lady of our acquaintance to stay here with Diva (one who will supervise her better than C does, I think) while the two of us go back to Pennsylvania. And we're taking two days to get up there. It's a lovely, comfortable drive for two days, and a hell of a push for one day. With Sproing along on the return trip we will probably push it in one day.

And that's about all I know for now. And now you know the story of my exciting adventurous vacation.
The End.

Not Tuesday, but here with more of the story

Sorry about the not Tuesday thing. I got distracted. Again. So it's Saturday and I will continue the story about the car crash.

When we left our heroine, the folks with flashy lights on their vehicles had arrived on the scene. The sheriff's representative was tall, kind of broad but not thick, with a blonde crew cut. And was in uniform, which always helps, right? He was very friendly. He was handsome but not Hollywood drop dead gorgeous. Two EMTs arrived in the ambulance. One was a woman (Shirley?) who is even larger than I am. Very nice, too. She drove the ambulance. The other fella, and I can't now remember his name, looked a bit like a Bubba, though clean and professional. He wore a Bubba cap a lot like this one. It may have been camo.  The guy's teeth looked somewhat like Mater's, but more crooked. And he was missing one just right of the front tooth.   
In other words, he looked like what I expected from West Virginia. He was probably 5'10" at the most, and had a nice spare tire around the middle. He was super nice, though, and very professional. He was obviously a lot smarter than my image of a Bubba. We had a lovely chat on the way to the hospital.

Let's see... I had two nurses and a nurse practitioner at the hospital. One of the nurses was a middle aged lady, brunette, who was very friendly (they all were, you know) and looked a lot like a nurse, but with a bright flowery scrub top, not a white uniform. The other nurse was a silver bear of a man with a brush mustache. His hair was white! The nurse practitioner was a very handsome middle aged gent, most distinguished. He had a mustache, too, and his hair was a graying light brown. I didn't see him for very long, and he was standing close to me, poking at my head. I didn't get a really good look at him, though I noticed he was a tall bear.

Finally after all the x-rays and more cups of water and more trips to the bathroom, the doctor showed up. He stood in the doorway, looked at my chart, asked a few questions, and said something like "It's all good." Not exactly like that, of course, but that's the message in a nutshell. This fella, whose name, according to the name on my wrist band as attending physician, was John Johnson, and was smokin' hot! He wore plain green scrubs and was small in stature with slightly curly deep black hair. Are you familiar with Dr. McDreamy? This guy looked similar, but smaller.

So I'd been inspected and declared OK. I could leave the hospital, but go where? Well, I thought, "What would an adult do in this situation?" Time for a rental car. There were a few ladies at the check-in window of the emergency department who were extremely kind and helpful. They informed me of the rental car places at the airport, and called a cab for me. Get this: the name of the cab company is "Cosmic Cab." Duuude! The cab was a minivan, looked pretty normal despite the Cosmic name. So out to the airport, which was tiny! Real airplanes fly in and out! Both United and Delta have service there. The check-in area had maybe three desk thingies, and was separated from the baggage claim area by a set of doors leading out to the tarmac. Quite simple. Quaint, even. But I was there for a car, not a plane ride. I had called ahead to make sure an agent was there and had a car available. Didn't want to pay for a ride to the airport for nothing. Wasn't that responsible adult of me?

So I did the rental car thing, got a Toyota Camry. It's a much nicer car than the Chevrolet Aveo, let me tell ya. The trunk is almost big enough for the Aveo to fit in, and the Camry is not a large car. I drove out to the middle of nowhere to the tow truck guy's place and he helped me move my junk into the Camry. Then we stood in his driveway for an hour and chatted. He's an interesting character, and lots of fun to talk to. Not a particularly handsome guy. He looks like a tow truck driver. But super friendly.

I drove back into Lewisburg to get a motel room. Went into the cheap-but-not-desperate place and asked "Do you have a room?" and he said "Nope." Oops. Really? Really. There is one exit off the interstate for Lewisburg and of course all the hotel/motel chains are right there. If he's full, probably every other hotel is full, too. He confirmed this. Then I told him my sad tale of being in a car crash earlier that day, being stranded in town and not knowing anyone, etc. He ended up giving me a room that was reserved for someone who didn't come in. Or something. I don't know how these things work, but I suspect he had a couple of rooms available that he was holding back for, what? A better offer? Anyway, I got a room. And then I finally went to supper. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, when I fixed myself scrambled egg with tomato, mushroom, and onion and a few pieces of toast with apple butter before I checked out of the cabin. Remember how this day started at the rustic one-room cabin in the state park? It was a really long day. And I needed food.

The room key card was also a 10% off coupon for the Applebee's down the road. Boo-yah! Shrimp fettuccine here I come! I changed clothes before going to dinner, and made such a mess of my shirt with the fettuccine that I couldn't wear it again before washing it. Oy.

Then I went back to the room and finally went to bed. It was a very long day.

But wait, how did I get back home to South Carolina? The rental car was not a one-way rental, and I wasn't supposed to leave the state. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode in Java's dramatic vacation!

P.S. Ur-Spo, I didn't think about this as a blog post until I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. "My first view of Lewisburg was from the back of an ambulance."

How to tell your loved ones that you've been in a car crash

1. Wait at least three hours after the wreck to talk to any of them, if possible. Unless you are badly injured, you usually have a pretty good handle on things after three or four hours and have the answers to the questions you know they will ask.

2. When you call, ask the loved one questions about his or her life. "How is school going for you this term?" "Did you finish that project you were doing at work?" Let the loved one talk about him/her self for a few minutes.

3. Ease into it:"Well, honey, I've spent longer in Lewisburg, WV  than I originally intended." 

4. Obfuscate if necessary: "I have unwittingly participated in your vehicle replacement program*." 


5. Once the loved one in question realizes what you mean, begin to repeat "I'm OK. I'm fine. Just a couple of bumps and bruises. No, really, I'm fine. Yes, they checked me over at the hospital. Yes, really, I'm fine." 


6. Lovingly cut the conversation short. The loved one needs time to process the information. Call him or her back in half an hour or so and repeat most of the facts you already told him/her in the previous call, because he/she asked, but was too freaked out to hear your answers. 




Some of the facts:
On Friday morning, 20 July 2012, at approximately 10:00 I was driving on US Highway 60 in West Virginia.  It's very mountainous terrain, lots of curves in the road (the kind of road I love to drive!) and it was raining. In the area they call Clintonville I took a curve a bit too fast for conditions. I thought I was OK, but the curve in the road got much sharper once it passed the rock wall that hid the road ahead. Also, the slope of the road got steeper as the curve got sharper. I lost control of the car (the little Aveo) and it slid toward a narrow ditch and slammed into the embankment on the other side of the ditch. As happens with these things, it all went very fast. The car hit the earth on the left front corner. No air bag deployed. I could open the doors just fine. No glass broke.  The car was at a sharp angle, leaning to the right. Rather than climb up out of the driver's side, I slid down and out of the passenger side, but not immediately.

I found my glasses first. They'd been thrown off my face and were on the down side of the front seat area, resting neatly on a towel. Then I got my phone and called 9-1-1. I didn't know where I was, though. Knew what highway, knew some of the little towns I had passed, but didn't know exactly where. A short while later a very nice young woman stopped and called 9-1-1 again to tell them where I was. Clintonville, WV. Nondescript from a cityscape point of view. Otherwise very mountainous and absolutely beautiful.

After impact there was lots of smoke/steam coming from under the hood for a few minutes. It didn't enter the cockpit and didn't smell dangerous. (How do I know what "dangerous" smells like? I dunno.) And the smoke cleared soon. So I just stayed in the car for a while. It was raining outside, I was relatively comfortable, I knew I wouldn't be able to get back into the car comfortably, and I was afraid to look at the extent of the damage. So I waited in the car. This nice young woman stopped, then another older man stopped too. I finally got out of the car. They both insisted on waiting with me until the folks with flashing lights on their cars arrived. Both these people were super nice. Actually, everyone I have encountered throughout this whole ordeal has been very friendly and helpful. I'm very impressed with southeast West Virginia.

Briefly on to the next few points: Corporal with the Sheriff's dept. came, interesting local tow truck driver character came, EMTs finally arrived. The tow truck man, Randy, towed the car to his lot. The EMTs took me to the emergency department in their ambulance. Emergency department was super busy for some reason I don't understand. I ended up waiting, being seen, waiting, getting X-rays, waiting, finally seeing the doctor. Was there for 4 hours (which may not be all that long, comparatively, but I hadn't been able to call Superman yet).

It's late now. I have to get up early in the morning, take care of the rest of this business then be on the road home. I will pick up the rest of the story very soon (hopefully!), within the next couple of days. Before the end of the day Tuesday, how 'bout?


* Superman has what I call a vehicle replacement program that I do not endorse. It involves him wrecking a car that we then have to replace. He's done this I think three times in the last 15 or so years. Twice the accidents were not his fault. But still...

Finally on my own! (for a little while)

I am writing this from the most adorable coffee shop called The Cathedral Cafe in downtown Fayetteville, West Virginia. I am staying in Babcock State Park in southeast West Virginia in the cutest little rustic cabin. It's a one room cabin with full kitchen, bunk double beds (low clearance) and a lovely screened porch. I took pictures until my camera batteries died. Batteries are on my list of things to get today while I'm out. The cabin has a small (and I mean small) bathroom tacked on as if an afterthought. It has a small shower stall, a low toilet, and a small sink that I wash my face in while sitting on the toilet. Convenient, no? 

On my list of things to do today: go to this café, enjoy the stained glass windows and coffee, and get online! (Except right now the internet connection has gone flunky, so I’m typing this on a word doc until I can hook up again.) I also need to find a laundromat. I stopped at the library in here in Fayetteville to inquire about a laundromat. Nope. No such creature in this town. The nice library man gave me directions to a laundromat in Oak Hill, about five miles down the highway. It’s across the street from a Rite Aid, which is cool because I need one of those too.

I got myself some healthy food at the grocery when I tumbled into town on Tuesday. Or maybe I went Wednesday morning after a good night sleep since I got to the cabin at 8:00 p.m. I don’t remember, honestly. I fixed myself a grilled chicken salad last night, grilling the chicken on the charcoal grill outside my cabin beside the picnic table. Cool beans! Tonight I intend to have a veggie burger (grilled: see above). There’s leftover salad for lunch, or to accompany the burger. I also have plans for an omelet with mushrooms, onions, and tomato.

I leave tomorrow (Friday). Heading back home, where I will once again be reunited with Superman. He and I are both looking forward to that. Before coming to West Virginia I was in Indiana, Pennsylvania with my darling Light. Tuesday was her 23^rd birthday. I was there that morning, left shortly after noon. It was very good to see her.

The ostensible reason for this trip is to take Sproing to Pennsylvania to spend a couple of weeks with his sister Light, away from his sister Diva. Which I did. Sproing and I left South Carolina on Saturday, July 7^th and headed south to Florida. Saw Mama in the Orlando area, my brother Mike came down to hang with us Sunday. On Tuesday Sproing and I went to Gainesville to see my dad and brother. We left there … Thursday? I can’t remember exactly. It took us two days to get from Gainesville, Florida to Indiana, Pennsylvania. By the time we got to Light’s place Sproing and I had traveled together 1700 miles. That’s a loooooooong way to spend in the car with a hyperactive 14 year old!!! We were both tired of being with each other by the time we got to Light’s place.

I am an introvert. We’ve had this discussion before, I believe. That means I like to spend time alone. From the 7^th until the 17^th of July I was in almost constant contact with Sproing. I love the kid, and usually like him pretty well. But my gods! He’s high energy and high maintenance. Light is also a joy to be with, but after so many many many days of not having any alone time I was going bugnuts! As much as I love that girl, I was very glad to leave. I’ve been alone almost constantly since I left her place Tuesday afternoon. Relief!

From all accounts Sproing and Light are doing well together. I set Sproing up with a short term guest membership at the fitness center where Light goes. He spends lots of time over there! He really likes it. When I went to see him there Tuesday morning he was doing drills with one of the guys who works there. They seem to have taken a liking to him, and I believe he’s doing very well. He wants more money so he can join some kind of class there. Light is working with him on that. I left her money to help with his expenses. She’s bribing him daily with an allowance that’s tied to his behavior. She’s such a smart girl.

On the home front, Diva is behaving perfectly for her daddy. Pisses me off, though I’m glad she’s being easy for Superman. Superman himself is doing pretty well. He got sick yesterday, finally. Seems to be some kind of short viral thing. He always gets sick when I leave him. This time he lasted 2.5 weeks before getting sick! I’m so impressed. And this is the longest I’ve ever been away from him, if I recall. It’s hard on him. I’m having a blast, though I miss him. When I’m the one who is away, I don’t have trouble. When he’s gone and I’m at home, I don’t do so well. Especially if he leaves me with those wicked children. Poor guy. I go home tomorrow. I miss him a lot. I wish he could be here with me. We’d have lots of fun in the state park. I think he’d like the cabin, mostly. The low clearance on the bed would be troublesome. He’s a tall fella. I told him that we need to come back in the fall, just the two of us, and get a cabin for a long weekend. Or a whole week! We could get one of the cabins that isn’t so rustic and maybe has a bed that isn’t stacked.

I’m rambling. Again. And I need to do my laundry and get back to the cabin for lunch. So I’m off. Suppose I’ll post again when I get home, probably over the weekend. I expect to be home late tomorrow, as I want to check out another cute town in the other direction from the park on my way out of West Virginia.

I must say, West Virginia sure is beautiful. It has a bad reputation for some things, for sure, but it is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. 

Quote of the day

Today's Inspirational Quote:

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."
-- John Lennon



I see how this is working in my life right now. My life is currently dominated by fear (see all posts labeled "Diva") and my creative production is down to diddly. Makes me mad. 


I have much to say about the current Diva situation. I'm working on a post about what has transpired with regards to her recent activities. So far all the work has happened in my head. I hope to get something up here by the end of today. Wish me luck. 

Briefly, with bullet points

• OK, I like bullet points. 
• Diva went apeshit on me again today. She's currently spending the night in the psych wing of the emergency department at the hospital, where she will be further evaluated by the staff psychiatrist and the department of mental health in the morning. They will decide what to do with her. We suspect she'll be placed in another psychiatric residential facility. If I feel up to it I'll post more details of the precipitating events of this week. Short story: she attacked me again. Not as bad as last time, but seriously, how bad does it have to be? 
• I'm kinda stressed. 
• Have "entertained" 5 members of the city police department over the last two days in regards to Diva. Four of them came in response to Monday afternoon's call. 
• Having trouble concentrating. 
• Am really tired all of a sudden. It's time for sleep. 

You are what you eat

... or so they say.

I am trying to develop better eating habits. I have a thing for sweets, especially baked goods. These things are not very good for me. For the last month or so I've eliminated red meat from my diet, concentrating on fish and poultry instead. Actually, for the past year or two (or maybe longer) I have cut back on how much meat I eat. I'm eating even less meat now.

And I'm trying to add more vegetables to my diet. The problem is that I don't like vegetables. It's really hard to be a vegetarian if you don't like vegetables. Sometimes I'll have a 12 oz. can of V-8. That's two servings of veggies! If it's nice and cold I can swig it down so fast I almost don't taste it. If my taste buds are used to lots of sweets, like they have been, then veggies are a hard sell. I know that if I cut out the sugar, then other stuff will taste good. Haven't been totally successful with that yet.

This morning I went to the local farmer's market, opened on Wednesdays and Saturdays near our neighborhood. I bought three tomatoes, a small yellow squash, small zucchini squash, string beans, and a pint of blueberries. Then I went to the grocery for bagged lettuces, strawberries, carrots, and dairy products. Here's my plan: cut the squash into small pieces and saute them with onion and mushrooms. Add that to a can of spaghetti sauce and any other left-over red sauce we happen to have in the 'fridge, and it's the sauce for lasagna. I got ricotta, mozzarella, and "Italian blend" cheeses at the grocery, and some large pasta shells as well. So I might do stuffed shells, or if we have lasagna noodles (and I think we do) I'll slap together a lasagna. My kids are particularly fond of lasagna, and if I hide the squash in it, they probably won't notice. We'll have salad also, and both of these young'uns kinda like salad. 


Superman is out of town for a few days. He's gone up to visit Light in Pennsylvania. He's driving back on July 4th. I hope that, being the actual holiday, the traffic won't be too bad on the 4th. He'll be home for a couple of days before I leave him again. I'm taking Sproing to Florida to visit my family for a week, then we're driving up to Pennsylvania to see Light. The darling Light has volunteered to keep Sproing for a couple of weeks. So I'll leave him there and come back home. Superman will drive back up there at the end of July to help Light move into new digs, and to bring Sproing back to SC. It's a travel-heavy month, July. I'm glad gas prices are down, and hope they stay low. 


And yes it is hot here, but no hotter than most of the rest of this half of the U.S. I got out early this morning to do my shopping before it got too terrible. It was about 80 deg. when I went to the farmer's market. They're predicting 106 or 107, depending on the source of predictions, for today. Yesterday's high was 106. I'm staying inside as much as possible. One good thing, though; the humidity isn't terribly high. So it's hot, but it's sort of a dryer heat, at least for these parts. Of course I don't like it and want to move north to avoid this foolishness. I'm going to try not to complain too much about the heat this summer. Wish me luck. Oh, I'll hate it just as much, but I'm trying not to dwell on it in print (here and on Facebork). 

In further FML news,

This is a quote from Diva's facebork page, her status update on Thursday.

bitch ani't shit but hoes and trickers
this for khadijah- nun but a hoe and a fat mouth bitch that cannt say shit to my face we goin to fright this friday and u better be there

FML.
Well, she used "there" properly. And yes, she and this "khadijah" character got in a fight. (but not a "fright") The fight was caught on video and is posted to facebork now. I'd post it here if I could figure out how to. It isn't on YouTube. Though I did share it on my facebork page, just for the thrill of it.

Diva is barred from the skating rink for a month. The other girl is barred for six months. On a related note, I'm glad I don't manage a skating rink.

Have I told you recently how much I love you?

I might be a little bit drunk. I have lost count of how many beers I've had. My head doesn't hurt yet, but it's threatening to. I might ignore it. So I think I've had 6 beers. I was going to stop after what I thought was 5, but that last one just called to me. You know?

I'm going to ramble a bit. I'm thankful for Google Chrome's automatic spell check function. If I spell a word incorrectly the word is underlined in red. How cool is that? I don't know what this looks like, I'm pretty drunk.

Had lots of beer tonight. Forget how many. Maybe 6?

Saw my therapist today. She says "Go ahead and get your master's degree already so I can hire you." Which sounds really good. I might just do that. I don't want to stay in this fucking back-assward town, but here I am anyway. FML* so I might as well do something productive. I want to get a master's degree anyway. I want to go back to school, because I am more satisfied with my life when I am in school. How cool is that?

I love you Sooooo Muuuuch!!

So I asked her (my therapist) University of Georgia in Athens? Univ. of South Carolina in Columbia? Whatever that college in Augusta is? (all of which are about the same distance from the fucking middle of nowhere, my current location)(except for Athens, which is two hours rather than one-and-a-little). She said Augusta. Should probably figure out which college that is. Maybe it's the same one where her husband teaches art. What college is in Augusta? It's Georgia, officially. In my mind, Georgia is a little bit more progressive than South Carolina. I could be wrong. But that's my impression. And if it's my impression, then it's right. Or something.

Have I told you how much I love you?

Twitch was here for a few days. I got him from Charlotte last Saturday, and took him back on Thursday. He'd been here long enough. I think he wanted to escape his siblings. Hell, I want to escape his siblings. Mother fuckers (not literally, of course).

So tonight at the skating rink darling Diva got into a fight with another girl. Evidently this animosity had been building for a while. They fought. (that's a funny word to type when drunk) The other girl (who has one of those weird black names (no offense)) jumped her first. And Sproing was so pleased with his sister! Weird. He usually despises her. Superman said that on the way home Sproing was singing this song (can't remember which one, but it's a popular one) with words he made up. Said Sproing was good at rhyming. Was singing how his sister beat up this other chick. And according to Superman, if there was a "winner" in this situation, it was Diva. And I said "You sound like you're proud of her." He admitted, yeah, he is. I rolled my eyes. There have been many FML* moments in my day.

Superman was at the rink. And it sounds as though he needs to be there all the time, no matter what condition the chirrens are in. He has to be there now because ol' Sproing is in some trouble with the law, the little shit. I don't think I told you about him (Sproing) stealing his Daddy's truck. And driving it on the busiest and craziest road in town. We called the cops on him the fucking SECOND time he did it. FML. He's under a "behavior contract" with DJJ to walk the straight and narrow. (He's straight, so that part should be easy for him. hee hee.) It isn't exactly probation, but kinda similar. One of the stipulations of his behavior contract is that he's got an 8:00 p.m. curfew. He's got to be at home and/or with his parent(s) after 8:00 every night. So if they go skating, one of us has to be there. It has been firmly established that I do not "do" skating rink. So Superman goes. One of the things that earns him the "Superman" rating.

But after tonight's fiasco, it appears that these kidlets (probably specifically Diva) need to be under parental supervision when out like that. She and the other bitch-girl fought like cats/girls. Wicked. Diva had a nasty scrape on her hand where the other bitch ripped off some skin from the back of her hand. Don't know what kind of damage Diva did to the other bitch. (In my mind, both of them are bitches in this scenario.) ("In this scenario" is one of my favorite phrases, btw.) Superman says that if anyone is counting these things, Diva "won" the fight. Whatever. And dammit, he's proud of his daughter for beating this bitch. FML*. For the record, he's also proud of his son for driving the pickup truck so well on the busy street in town. Again, FML*.

Amusingly, Sproing is also proud of his sister for beating the other bitch. (See reference above about him singing praises to her bitch-fighting ability.) Perhaps one good thing about this scenario is the positive interaction between the siblings. FML*.

Beer=good

Been pretty damned depressed recently. Hormones are partly to blame. When will this fucking menopause kick in fully??? On my period currently. FML*. Ready for the pause part of menopause, dammmmmit. But beer is good. Makes me feel happier and don't-give-a-fuck-ier. (I like that word, "don't-give-a-fuck-ier".)

I posted a picture/quote on facebork the other day, said "I like sleep. It's like death without the commitment." Yep. We've discussed previously how I feel about my own death. Bring 'er on! This life is shit. Really. I hate many aspects of my  life. Not all, of course. I love my husband, which from what I hear is a rarity these days. He's a wonderful guy. I love him sooooo muuuuuch! Even when I'm not drunk. :)

Man I'm tired! Maybe because it's 2:00 a.m. Self-destructive, much, are we? Having read over what I've written, it seems I've repeated myself. Oh well. That's what you get with a drunk post. Forewarned is forearmed. Or something.

*Fuck My Life

Letter to my Congressman

I sent this email to my congressman this morning.

Dear Sir,
Having spent the last few years studying the subject, I now know that homosexuality and gender dysphoria (transgender) are natural variations of sexual and gender expression. I therefore urge you to take positive action when the opportunity presents itself to treat the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) community with fairness and dignity. 

I support the right of same sex couples to marry, and for all GLBT people as citizens of the United States to have all the same rights as the general population. This is a legal matter, not a religious one. There are religious objections, as we all know, but religious opinions should not interfere with the legal processes of legislation. 

I am well aware that my opinion in this matter goes against that of probably the majority of people in South Carolina. From what little I have read about your stand, you disagree with me also. My objectives in sending you this message are to encourage you to consider my opinion, to do your own research on the topic, and to remind you that there are many people in South Carolina who share my view.
Sincerely and respectfully,
[Java]

His name is Jeff Duncan and I don't know much about him. He's a representative for the 3rd district in South Carolina, which includes counties on the western border of SC from the NW corner down to just south of North Augusta, and a few counties east of those but does not include any counties where there are any cities of significant size. Not Greenville, for instance. Not Newberry county which is just north of our state capital, Columbia. Newberry County has a few bedroom communities of Columbia where more liberal thinking people are likely to live. Since he was elected by residents of the 3rd district, he probably holds similar values to those residents. SC is a very conservative state, and the NW corner is the most conservative. 

A few months ago I got an email from him, a mass distribution thing that included me probably because I am a registered Republican. No, I don't vote Republican anymore, but I used to before I "caught the gay." I haven't changed my party affiliation with the voting office (whatever it's called). His email has been wasting away in my inbox for months because my intention is to write him. So today I finally did. We'll see if I get any response.

Update I: This is the automated response I got immediately:
Thank you for taking the time to contact my office. Each day, I receive hundreds of letters, phone calls, and emails, and each one is important to me. I want to assure you that you will receive a response to your question or concern as soon as possible. 
God bless you and your family, and God bless America. 

Sincerely, 
Jeff Duncan 
Member of Congress 

To hear more about what is going on in Washington and how it will affect you, please sign up for my E-Newsletter here:http://jeffduncan.house.gov/contact-me/newsletter

So yeah, God bless America. 

Pictures!!

I finally transferred the pictures from my camera to my computer today. Here are some shots of my journey back from the visit to Pennsylvania and Maryland.

These were taken at a scenic view pull-off on, I think, Skyline Drive in Virginia.

This was taken in the parking lot of the place I had breakfast on Skyline Drive.

 

 This is the survey marker at that place on Skyline Drive

At 3703 feet above sea level, temperatures are considerably cooler than they are in, oh, say Baltimore, Maryland. As you can see, my head was in the clouds. Literally.

When one is in the midst of a cloud and on the ground, it's called fog. I prefer to think of it as clouds. 

 Obviously I didn't have those majestic vistas that Skyline Drive and the Blue Ridge Parkway are so famous for, but there was a beautiful sense of isolation and serenity there in the clouds.

 Later in the afternoon the clouds lifted some and I was able to see into the valley.

My drive through the mountains established a peace within my soul. 

This next photo is of the James River in North Carolina along the Blue Ridge Parkway. So pretty! 

I didn't stay here long. I only stopped for a bathroom break and to stretch my legs a bit. Superman was eager for me to return home. Can't say as I blame him, but I really didn't want to come back to what passes for my life here.

But I eventually did come home. I've posted a few times about our adventures since. Most of them are unpleasant. Which may not be entirely fair. My life here isn't totally unpleasant all of the time. There are definite good times. But Diva's presence casts a pall over everything. 

In other news...

I've been laid up with a broken toe since Friday evening. I told you about it in the previous blog post. I did not see the doctor Monday as I said I might. Didn't want to leave the house. Didn't want to try to put a shoe on my right foot. This morning, however, I called the doctor's office for an appointment. I need to get my blood pressure and blood sugar levels (A1C) checked anyway. (My doc keeps tabs on these things every three or four months.) However, the first available appointment my doctor has is for next Monday. So I took that one. The toe will have to do its thing without my doctor's supervision. Nothing to be done about it anyway. 

And today I took pictures! 

 I gotta tell ya', it isn't easy taking a picture of one's own foot, especially if one is "circumferentially challenged" as I am.

 The shot below is sort of scary.

 This next shot seems to show the extent of the bruise better. It's faint, but extends in an arc about 2, maybe 2.5 inches from the pinkie toe.

It hurts a lot less today than it has. I put on my shoes (yes, both of them!) and went out this afternoon. Didn't really have anything to do, but I've been lying around on my ass for three days and felt the need to get out. I had an omelet at IHOP then went for a little drive. 

The drive was helpful. Kids are out of school now so they're home all the time. Diva is, anyway. Sproing goes out to hang with his friends some. Having her in the house oppresses me. As helpful as my drive through the mountains was, I thought perhaps a local excursion would be nice. And it was. I drove north to the next little town, then hung an east and made a big circle (well, part of a circle) around the burg. Out in the country, maybe 10-15 miles from town. It was lovely. And I stopped to pick up an application to the local agency on aging. The nice lady said they didn't have anything available now, but were accepting applications and keep them on file for six months. Maybe. Whatever. 

And when I got home I felt more empowered than I have in days. I enforced some rules with the kids, stood my ground and administered consequences. It wasn't all ugly or nothin', just a few things that needed to be addressed. Then I came back to my room and put my foot up again, 'cause damn! That sucker hurt! My foot swelled up around the toe area after a bit of activity, and it was time to rest again. That shoe didn't feel nearly as comfortable as it had when I put it on. 

And that's about all I've got for now.