You are what you eat

... or so they say.

I am trying to develop better eating habits. I have a thing for sweets, especially baked goods. These things are not very good for me. For the last month or so I've eliminated red meat from my diet, concentrating on fish and poultry instead. Actually, for the past year or two (or maybe longer) I have cut back on how much meat I eat. I'm eating even less meat now.

And I'm trying to add more vegetables to my diet. The problem is that I don't like vegetables. It's really hard to be a vegetarian if you don't like vegetables. Sometimes I'll have a 12 oz. can of V-8. That's two servings of veggies! If it's nice and cold I can swig it down so fast I almost don't taste it. If my taste buds are used to lots of sweets, like they have been, then veggies are a hard sell. I know that if I cut out the sugar, then other stuff will taste good. Haven't been totally successful with that yet.

This morning I went to the local farmer's market, opened on Wednesdays and Saturdays near our neighborhood. I bought three tomatoes, a small yellow squash, small zucchini squash, string beans, and a pint of blueberries. Then I went to the grocery for bagged lettuces, strawberries, carrots, and dairy products. Here's my plan: cut the squash into small pieces and saute them with onion and mushrooms. Add that to a can of spaghetti sauce and any other left-over red sauce we happen to have in the 'fridge, and it's the sauce for lasagna. I got ricotta, mozzarella, and "Italian blend" cheeses at the grocery, and some large pasta shells as well. So I might do stuffed shells, or if we have lasagna noodles (and I think we do) I'll slap together a lasagna. My kids are particularly fond of lasagna, and if I hide the squash in it, they probably won't notice. We'll have salad also, and both of these young'uns kinda like salad. 


Superman is out of town for a few days. He's gone up to visit Light in Pennsylvania. He's driving back on July 4th. I hope that, being the actual holiday, the traffic won't be too bad on the 4th. He'll be home for a couple of days before I leave him again. I'm taking Sproing to Florida to visit my family for a week, then we're driving up to Pennsylvania to see Light. The darling Light has volunteered to keep Sproing for a couple of weeks. So I'll leave him there and come back home. Superman will drive back up there at the end of July to help Light move into new digs, and to bring Sproing back to SC. It's a travel-heavy month, July. I'm glad gas prices are down, and hope they stay low. 


And yes it is hot here, but no hotter than most of the rest of this half of the U.S. I got out early this morning to do my shopping before it got too terrible. It was about 80 deg. when I went to the farmer's market. They're predicting 106 or 107, depending on the source of predictions, for today. Yesterday's high was 106. I'm staying inside as much as possible. One good thing, though; the humidity isn't terribly high. So it's hot, but it's sort of a dryer heat, at least for these parts. Of course I don't like it and want to move north to avoid this foolishness. I'm going to try not to complain too much about the heat this summer. Wish me luck. Oh, I'll hate it just as much, but I'm trying not to dwell on it in print (here and on Facebork). 

In further FML news,

This is a quote from Diva's facebork page, her status update on Thursday.

bitch ani't shit but hoes and trickers
this for khadijah- nun but a hoe and a fat mouth bitch that cannt say shit to my face we goin to fright this friday and u better be there

FML.
Well, she used "there" properly. And yes, she and this "khadijah" character got in a fight. (but not a "fright") The fight was caught on video and is posted to facebork now. I'd post it here if I could figure out how to. It isn't on YouTube. Though I did share it on my facebork page, just for the thrill of it.

Diva is barred from the skating rink for a month. The other girl is barred for six months. On a related note, I'm glad I don't manage a skating rink.

Have I told you recently how much I love you?

I might be a little bit drunk. I have lost count of how many beers I've had. My head doesn't hurt yet, but it's threatening to. I might ignore it. So I think I've had 6 beers. I was going to stop after what I thought was 5, but that last one just called to me. You know?

I'm going to ramble a bit. I'm thankful for Google Chrome's automatic spell check function. If I spell a word incorrectly the word is underlined in red. How cool is that? I don't know what this looks like, I'm pretty drunk.

Had lots of beer tonight. Forget how many. Maybe 6?

Saw my therapist today. She says "Go ahead and get your master's degree already so I can hire you." Which sounds really good. I might just do that. I don't want to stay in this fucking back-assward town, but here I am anyway. FML* so I might as well do something productive. I want to get a master's degree anyway. I want to go back to school, because I am more satisfied with my life when I am in school. How cool is that?

I love you Sooooo Muuuuch!!

So I asked her (my therapist) University of Georgia in Athens? Univ. of South Carolina in Columbia? Whatever that college in Augusta is? (all of which are about the same distance from the fucking middle of nowhere, my current location)(except for Athens, which is two hours rather than one-and-a-little). She said Augusta. Should probably figure out which college that is. Maybe it's the same one where her husband teaches art. What college is in Augusta? It's Georgia, officially. In my mind, Georgia is a little bit more progressive than South Carolina. I could be wrong. But that's my impression. And if it's my impression, then it's right. Or something.

Have I told you how much I love you?

Twitch was here for a few days. I got him from Charlotte last Saturday, and took him back on Thursday. He'd been here long enough. I think he wanted to escape his siblings. Hell, I want to escape his siblings. Mother fuckers (not literally, of course).

So tonight at the skating rink darling Diva got into a fight with another girl. Evidently this animosity had been building for a while. They fought. (that's a funny word to type when drunk) The other girl (who has one of those weird black names (no offense)) jumped her first. And Sproing was so pleased with his sister! Weird. He usually despises her. Superman said that on the way home Sproing was singing this song (can't remember which one, but it's a popular one) with words he made up. Said Sproing was good at rhyming. Was singing how his sister beat up this other chick. And according to Superman, if there was a "winner" in this situation, it was Diva. And I said "You sound like you're proud of her." He admitted, yeah, he is. I rolled my eyes. There have been many FML* moments in my day.

Superman was at the rink. And it sounds as though he needs to be there all the time, no matter what condition the chirrens are in. He has to be there now because ol' Sproing is in some trouble with the law, the little shit. I don't think I told you about him (Sproing) stealing his Daddy's truck. And driving it on the busiest and craziest road in town. We called the cops on him the fucking SECOND time he did it. FML. He's under a "behavior contract" with DJJ to walk the straight and narrow. (He's straight, so that part should be easy for him. hee hee.) It isn't exactly probation, but kinda similar. One of the stipulations of his behavior contract is that he's got an 8:00 p.m. curfew. He's got to be at home and/or with his parent(s) after 8:00 every night. So if they go skating, one of us has to be there. It has been firmly established that I do not "do" skating rink. So Superman goes. One of the things that earns him the "Superman" rating.

But after tonight's fiasco, it appears that these kidlets (probably specifically Diva) need to be under parental supervision when out like that. She and the other bitch-girl fought like cats/girls. Wicked. Diva had a nasty scrape on her hand where the other bitch ripped off some skin from the back of her hand. Don't know what kind of damage Diva did to the other bitch. (In my mind, both of them are bitches in this scenario.) ("In this scenario" is one of my favorite phrases, btw.) Superman says that if anyone is counting these things, Diva "won" the fight. Whatever. And dammit, he's proud of his daughter for beating this bitch. FML*. For the record, he's also proud of his son for driving the pickup truck so well on the busy street in town. Again, FML*.

Amusingly, Sproing is also proud of his sister for beating the other bitch. (See reference above about him singing praises to her bitch-fighting ability.) Perhaps one good thing about this scenario is the positive interaction between the siblings. FML*.

Beer=good

Been pretty damned depressed recently. Hormones are partly to blame. When will this fucking menopause kick in fully??? On my period currently. FML*. Ready for the pause part of menopause, dammmmmit. But beer is good. Makes me feel happier and don't-give-a-fuck-ier. (I like that word, "don't-give-a-fuck-ier".)

I posted a picture/quote on facebork the other day, said "I like sleep. It's like death without the commitment." Yep. We've discussed previously how I feel about my own death. Bring 'er on! This life is shit. Really. I hate many aspects of my  life. Not all, of course. I love my husband, which from what I hear is a rarity these days. He's a wonderful guy. I love him sooooo muuuuuch! Even when I'm not drunk. :)

Man I'm tired! Maybe because it's 2:00 a.m. Self-destructive, much, are we? Having read over what I've written, it seems I've repeated myself. Oh well. That's what you get with a drunk post. Forewarned is forearmed. Or something.

*Fuck My Life

Letter to my Congressman

I sent this email to my congressman this morning.

Dear Sir,
Having spent the last few years studying the subject, I now know that homosexuality and gender dysphoria (transgender) are natural variations of sexual and gender expression. I therefore urge you to take positive action when the opportunity presents itself to treat the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) community with fairness and dignity. 

I support the right of same sex couples to marry, and for all GLBT people as citizens of the United States to have all the same rights as the general population. This is a legal matter, not a religious one. There are religious objections, as we all know, but religious opinions should not interfere with the legal processes of legislation. 

I am well aware that my opinion in this matter goes against that of probably the majority of people in South Carolina. From what little I have read about your stand, you disagree with me also. My objectives in sending you this message are to encourage you to consider my opinion, to do your own research on the topic, and to remind you that there are many people in South Carolina who share my view.
Sincerely and respectfully,
[Java]

His name is Jeff Duncan and I don't know much about him. He's a representative for the 3rd district in South Carolina, which includes counties on the western border of SC from the NW corner down to just south of North Augusta, and a few counties east of those but does not include any counties where there are any cities of significant size. Not Greenville, for instance. Not Newberry county which is just north of our state capital, Columbia. Newberry County has a few bedroom communities of Columbia where more liberal thinking people are likely to live. Since he was elected by residents of the 3rd district, he probably holds similar values to those residents. SC is a very conservative state, and the NW corner is the most conservative. 

A few months ago I got an email from him, a mass distribution thing that included me probably because I am a registered Republican. No, I don't vote Republican anymore, but I used to before I "caught the gay." I haven't changed my party affiliation with the voting office (whatever it's called). His email has been wasting away in my inbox for months because my intention is to write him. So today I finally did. We'll see if I get any response.

Update I: This is the automated response I got immediately:
Thank you for taking the time to contact my office. Each day, I receive hundreds of letters, phone calls, and emails, and each one is important to me. I want to assure you that you will receive a response to your question or concern as soon as possible. 
God bless you and your family, and God bless America. 

Sincerely, 
Jeff Duncan 
Member of Congress 

To hear more about what is going on in Washington and how it will affect you, please sign up for my E-Newsletter here:http://jeffduncan.house.gov/contact-me/newsletter

So yeah, God bless America. 

Pictures!!

I finally transferred the pictures from my camera to my computer today. Here are some shots of my journey back from the visit to Pennsylvania and Maryland.

These were taken at a scenic view pull-off on, I think, Skyline Drive in Virginia.

This was taken in the parking lot of the place I had breakfast on Skyline Drive.

 

 This is the survey marker at that place on Skyline Drive

At 3703 feet above sea level, temperatures are considerably cooler than they are in, oh, say Baltimore, Maryland. As you can see, my head was in the clouds. Literally.

When one is in the midst of a cloud and on the ground, it's called fog. I prefer to think of it as clouds. 

 Obviously I didn't have those majestic vistas that Skyline Drive and the Blue Ridge Parkway are so famous for, but there was a beautiful sense of isolation and serenity there in the clouds.

 Later in the afternoon the clouds lifted some and I was able to see into the valley.

My drive through the mountains established a peace within my soul. 

This next photo is of the James River in North Carolina along the Blue Ridge Parkway. So pretty! 

I didn't stay here long. I only stopped for a bathroom break and to stretch my legs a bit. Superman was eager for me to return home. Can't say as I blame him, but I really didn't want to come back to what passes for my life here.

But I eventually did come home. I've posted a few times about our adventures since. Most of them are unpleasant. Which may not be entirely fair. My life here isn't totally unpleasant all of the time. There are definite good times. But Diva's presence casts a pall over everything. 

In other news...

I've been laid up with a broken toe since Friday evening. I told you about it in the previous blog post. I did not see the doctor Monday as I said I might. Didn't want to leave the house. Didn't want to try to put a shoe on my right foot. This morning, however, I called the doctor's office for an appointment. I need to get my blood pressure and blood sugar levels (A1C) checked anyway. (My doc keeps tabs on these things every three or four months.) However, the first available appointment my doctor has is for next Monday. So I took that one. The toe will have to do its thing without my doctor's supervision. Nothing to be done about it anyway. 

And today I took pictures! 

 I gotta tell ya', it isn't easy taking a picture of one's own foot, especially if one is "circumferentially challenged" as I am.

 The shot below is sort of scary.

 This next shot seems to show the extent of the bruise better. It's faint, but extends in an arc about 2, maybe 2.5 inches from the pinkie toe.

It hurts a lot less today than it has. I put on my shoes (yes, both of them!) and went out this afternoon. Didn't really have anything to do, but I've been lying around on my ass for three days and felt the need to get out. I had an omelet at IHOP then went for a little drive. 

The drive was helpful. Kids are out of school now so they're home all the time. Diva is, anyway. Sproing goes out to hang with his friends some. Having her in the house oppresses me. As helpful as my drive through the mountains was, I thought perhaps a local excursion would be nice. And it was. I drove north to the next little town, then hung an east and made a big circle (well, part of a circle) around the burg. Out in the country, maybe 10-15 miles from town. It was lovely. And I stopped to pick up an application to the local agency on aging. The nice lady said they didn't have anything available now, but were accepting applications and keep them on file for six months. Maybe. Whatever. 

And when I got home I felt more empowered than I have in days. I enforced some rules with the kids, stood my ground and administered consequences. It wasn't all ugly or nothin', just a few things that needed to be addressed. Then I came back to my room and put my foot up again, 'cause damn! That sucker hurt! My foot swelled up around the toe area after a bit of activity, and it was time to rest again. That shoe didn't feel nearly as comfortable as it had when I put it on. 

And that's about all I've got for now. 

In which we discuss dragons and beatings among other things

"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." -- G.K. Chesterton

**

Never a dull moment around here. Unfortunately. Oh, for some of it I am grateful, but for some I'd like it to stop. Just stop. And go away. 


We'll start with Diva. Of course. The short story: Superman got both of the youngsters phones a few weeks ago. Sproing, it's a good idea for him to have a phone. Diva not so much. Not much at all. And I told him this, but he proceeded. She had the phone for maybe a week before she sent and received sexually explicit texts. She was exchanging texts with some guy I'd never heard of. On the advice of her former probation officer (she's off probation now, but this lady is a good resource) I called the police. That's the end of the short story, but I want to tell you more, so the next paragraph will be more and you can skip it if you'd like. 


The police officer saw the questionable photos (there was some video she'd taken of herself, too. Ick.) and wondered about the age of the young man who'd sent a way-too-complete picture of himself. All this took place on the kids' last day of school, last Wednesday. The officer took the phone and a copy of our rules for cell phone use* to the school to talk to Diva. Hee hee. It was "field day" at school, all the kids were outside or in the gym doing fun activities, etc. The officer (he told me later) went in and had a teacher call out Diva, and he and Diva had a little talk. When he brought the cell phone back he told me she was spitting mad. I suspected she would be. I had told him of her previous run-in with the law in which she assaulted me, so he warned her not to take this out on us physically. If he heard about her attacking me (or Superman) he'd come and haul her to jail. By the time she got home from school (about two hours later) she had calmed down to the point that she didn't want to interact with us at all, which was fine with me. She spent the afternoon in her room. Later that afternoon I heard back from the officer that the young man she'd been texting may be older than he looked. The next day a detective came by and we discussed that briefly. The stupid idiot may be an adult, if he's the one they suspect. The detective said that maybe nothing will come of it, as Diva and the old-enough-to-know-better SOB didn't actually hook up. I allowed as how I didn't necessarily want him to get in trouble, but a good scare would do him a world of good. One of Diva's messages to him asked if he was going to "come over and fuck me next week."  


So Diva no longer has her phone. She will not be getting it back any time within the foreseeable future. And I can foresee a pretty long way. 


Poor Superman. He wants for his daughter to be a normal, sweet, fun-loving girl. And he pretends she is, which is where trouble starts. I told him yesterday (after yet another major inconvenience but not-quite-disaster of her making) that he has got to stop pretending she is normal. It leads to trouble. Though yesterday's mishap was partly Superman's doing. He was treating her as a normal child and allowed her too much leeway. He tries so hard. Unfortunately she is NOT normal, and his attempts often go the wrong way. Sigh
Let's move on to other drama that has nothing to do with Diva. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both of my gay children, C and Light, are currently in relationships but it's complicated. Light has been engaged to her girlfriend for little over a year, I think, but now that Light is at school in Pennsylvania the relationship is long-distance. And the girlfriend isn't a good communicator under the best of circumstances. They recently dissolved their engagement, but are still together, sort of. You know, it's complicated. And my dear darling Light is hurting. This is hard on her. I wish I could make it better, but I can't. And this sort of experience is necessary for personal growth, so I must not try to fix anything. I just sympathize, and hurt for her pain. 


C has been involved in this pseudo-relationship thing for a few months now. There's this ... boy, really. He just turned 18 in December. C sort of fell in love with him. I told you about him before, called him The Youngster, I think. But The Youngster isn't in love with C, and has been up front about that all along. He likes C, but only as a friend. Well, until recently C and The Youngster had been hanging out together a lot for the past couple of months, but The Youngster went back to his mom's house to help her out. Since then his communications with C have gradually become less frequent and less ... intimate might be too strong a word. C senses that The Youngster is pulling back. I think (for what it's worth) that C has been too solicitous, done too many sweet loving sacrificial things for this kid. It's like he's trying to make The Youngster love him. That does NOT work! And it's a lesson C has to learn for himself. Yesterday was C's 24th birthday. He needs to make friends with people his own age. And The Youngster is from troubled circumstances with associated emotional difficulties, etc. As my therapist said, If they're broken when you pick them up, they are going to stay broken. (Or something like that.) The same applies to falling for drunks and abusers, which happens all the time. I want better for C. He needs to want better for himself. The Youngster is a nice kid. I like him. But he is not a good match for C. IMHO, he has a lot of growing up to do before he is ready for a serious relationship. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Light's had a rough time of it recently. Her cat got away. He was an inside-outside cat when he lived here, but has been exclusively inside since they moved to Pennsylvania last August. Last Monday Light took out the garbage and the cat snuck out. She didn't realize he was gone until he did not wake her up by sticking his nose in her face Tuesday morning. She's looked around the neighborhood, left food on the porch for him, made "lost" signs, etc. but so far he hasn't returned. She is sad. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think I broke my toe Friday evening. I was walking through the dark house and stubbed my right pinkie toe on the leg of a chair. I hit it HARD! Yeah, it hurt. And it kept hurting. It hurt all night Friday. I took some ersatz Tylenol PM before bed Friday and slept pretty well despite the pain, but it hurt in my dreams, if you know what I mean. The damn thing hurt all day yesterday, too. It hurts to put weight on that side of my foot. The foot is swollen top and bottom, and the toe itself is fat and black and blue. I had Superman draw a circle around the bruise last night, and sure enough, the bruise has spread since then. I think bruises do that, though. Anyway, it hurt last night, too, and today it hurts, but not as much. Well, not as much if I don't try to move it. I have stayed off of it and kept it elevated all weekend. (translation: I've been lying around on my ass all weekend.) Didn't hurt too bad when I stood on it this morning at first, but after a little while it hurt more again, so I sat down. I watched the Braves beat the Nationals 3-2 this afternoon. That was fun. I've been putzing around on the computer all weekend, too. 


I'll probably try to get in to see the doctor tomorrow. There's nothing to be done for a broken pinkie toe anyway. They might buddy tape it to the next toe to try to keep it stationary. Of course I could do that myself, but right now I'm just lying on my lazy ass not moving anything anyway. I have a Netflix instant-view movie booted up to watch after my haircut which I'll get after I post this. 


Yeah, Superman is going to buzz my hair again with the 1" guard on his hair clippers. The hair has gotten long enough to hold in the heat. It's hot here in The South, so I'm going to shave my head. Well, shave plus 1". It looks pretty butch, but not terribly weird. 


Oh, in other gender-bending news, some junkie bum called me "sir" a couple of weeks ago. I went to Baltimore (again) to be with Indigo after his mother died. Had a good trip. It was helpful, productive, and the right thing to do. But I had a bit of trouble getting out of downtown Baltimore onto the freeway toward Washington, and drove in circles around the junkie bum areas for half an hour or so. Some guy wanted me to give him money, and called me "sir" when asking. I told him no, but got a kick out of his perception. 


OK, on to the haircutting. Ta ta for now (ttfn). 


*GROUND RULES FOR CELL PHONES

1.     Cell phone use is a privilege, not a right.  As such, it can be withheld under some circumstances.

2.     The phones belong to the parents.  We supplied them and we are paying for them. 

3.     The phones are to be used for reasonable communication only.  No explicit, harmful, or illegal use of the phone will be tolerated. That means do not talk or text anything that is sexual. Do not make threats to anyone by text or talk. Don’t use the phone to bully anyone. Don’t talk or text anything that is illegal. For example, don’t try to hook up with someone for sex, don’t talk or text about buying, selling, or taking drugs or alcohol.  If the phone is used to make such calls or send such messages, it will be taken and kept for a period of a few days up to several weeks.  Getting it back will depend on:

a.      How bad the message was;

b.     How many were sent;

c.     What kind of fallout there was from the message;

d.     Whether this was a first offense;

e.      How you behave while the phone is off-limits.

4.     The phones will be turned over to parents at bedtime each night.

5.     On school days, the phones will be available as soon as you arrive home each afternoon.  On the weekend and school vacations the phones will be available after 9:00 a.m.

6.     You will be expected to take the phone with you if you leave the house after coming home from school.  Being able to contact you at our convenience is a major consideration for getting the phones in the first place. Do not ignore calls from your parents! You must answer the phone when we call you!

7.     You will NOT allow other children to use your phone.  If a friend needs to get in touch with another person, and you decide that is all right, YOU will make the call for your friend.  Having you in control of the phone will make sure that someone else does not send inappropriate messages using your number.  Keep in mind that there are legal issues involved.

8.     Please also understand that T-Mobile keeps records of all text messages sent for a period of up to 90 days.  So if we want to find out what you texted, erasing it from the phone will not help to conceal it. So don’t bother to erase messages.

9.     DO NOT MISUSE YOUR PHONE!

We read through this with both kids and had each of them sign our copy, agreeing that they read and understand the rules. And Diva abuses the privilege the second week she had the phone. Oy. 

** If you haven't seen "How to Train Your Dragon" you must do so at your earliest convenience.