The latest in my personal gay saga

And by "personal gay saga" I refer to the one involving C, my personal gay friend. I posted recently about his new love interest, and how I took C to meet Loverboy at a mall in that area. Last Thursday C and I took a trip back up there to meet Loverboy again. This time we met at an undisclosed location near Loverboy's house. They went for a walk and I drove around his quaint village for a while before heading into the bigger (not biggest) city to do a bit of shopping. I had told them to call me if they needed anything, "and I mean anything," I said to them. I was worried. His quaint village is hick/redneck, overrun by churches and those annoying church people (you know the type*), and frankly not very quaint. Creepy is more like it.

I was filling the gas tank, just a block away from the fabric store which was my ultimate destination, when Loverboy called. Sigh. So with a now full tank of gas I toodled back to Quaint Village. I'd done enough worry about them wandering around on foot in the obnoxious heat (102F/39C on the sign at the insurance company) so I told them to get in the damn car already. C was in danger of dehydration. We drove back to Bigger City and I dropped the two of them off where they could spend a little bit of time together without me hanging around, and I went to my fabric store. Once outside of Quaint Village and past the WallyMart on that side of Bigger City (where all of Quaint Village shops) Loverboy no longer panicked about his mother or grandparents seeing him with C. He says the rest of the village pretty much knows he's gay, he's very out at his high school (having had to prove he's a strong-wristed nelly boy by knocking a few heads together, so he doesn't get picked on anymore)(so he says anyway).

The fellers got some more bonding time, and are more in love than ever. I got two pieces of fabric that I may eventually make into skirts or a jumper. The guys want so desperately to be together. The plan at this point is to gather up Loverboy and bring him here on his 18th birthday. That countdown widget in the right sidebar is keeping track of the days. There has been talk of him running away before then, which is of course very unwise. Superman and I searched the 'net for Carolina laws concerning 17 year old runaways, emancipation of minors, harboring runaways (some serious bad juju for those harboring runaways, especially if taken across state lines). Yeah, so I think we've convinced the boys to wait until mid October. Seems like a long time in the short run, but really isn't. They will see the truth of it eventually.

An interesting situation evolved at Loverboy's home this morning, by way of an example of what might happen. Mother woke up this morning to find that Loverboy's sister, age 15, had run away last night. C and Loverboy have been monitoring the situation closely. I have been too, with much amusement and some concern for the young girl. Law enforcement was called, they (police? family? friends?) looked for her all day, and sometime this evening she was found. With a young man, as I understand it. A young man over age 18. Mother plans to press charges of statutory rape. 16 is the age of consent in both North and South Carolina, and sister is 15.

Funny (not ha ha) thing about age of consent laws in the Carolinas, as I understand them (i.e. not very well). It seems that the age of consent for consensual sexual activity only applies to heterosexual acts. There are no specific laws concerning the age of consent for homosexual acts, as far as I could tell from my cursory Google search. I don't understand the workings of the law. It does not come naturally to me. Perhaps someone with more predilection toward the law could discover more.

Funny (maybe ha ha) thing about our little excursion last Thursday; we were supposed to go to Columbia to visit Diva. I have seen that child every week for what, two months or more? It seems like at least that long, but it may be less. Anyway, last week we skipped her. "Something came up." So tomorrow (Tuesday) I'm going to visit her again. C and Twitch are going with.

*Not that all "church people" are annoying, mind you. I speak of the Christianists, as Michael calls them.

Random interesting stuff

In honor of Blogger allowing me to post today, I bring you things my ADDled brain has found interesting.

• In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. -- Thomas Jefferson

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Frankly, I haven't seen anything else interesting all day. But then, I haven't done much.

A little bit crazy

Or perhaps a little bit more than just a little bit crazy. It's been an interesting few days. Do I have the words to express it?

But first, let me rant about computer viruses or whatever the hell is happening to my internet browsing experience. For the past two days I have tried to write a new post, but when I try to reach this window, I am redirected to a blank page. Is anyone else dealing with this mess? I'm not the only one in my house who's having this trouble. I don't know enough about computers and interwebz and shit to know where or what the problem is.

Been having a few rough days. Craziness abounds. Sproing will pull one of his annoying oppositional tricks, and I end up crying, or hiding in my room, or taking my anxiolytic and going to sleep, or some combination of these actions. I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I'm supposed to be able to stand my ground and give him direction. Of course, he's supposed to behave better than that. Right now my brain is all messed up about this. We have had a few good moments here and there, but it's been a rough few days.

The real fun involves C. He has a new boyfriend. They fell in love over the internet and telephone before meeting in person. They live 112 miles from each other. The BF lives near where Twitch goes to school. I drove C up there on Saturday to meet his new sweetheart, since I was going there to bring Twitch home anyway. (Twitch finished his school term and is home for a few weeks.)

Complications ensue, of course. They BF is not quite 18 yet. His birthday is in mid October. He has another year of high school before he graduates. C is 4.5 years older. It isn't a big age difference in the long run, but right now it's tricky. The BF's mom is a control freak, and only recently discovered that her baby boy is gay. She saw a text message that clued her in, she had a talk with him, she cried, and she has spent the last few weeks pretending it isn't happening. Now her baby boy is spending all his free time IMing C or talking to him on the phone. I have no idea what mother dear thinks she's going to do about this.

She did agree to let him meet C at a local mall. He told her that he and C were friends. She's got to be really stupid if she believes that. I dunno, she might be really stupid. I was there. I met the mother. I didn't talk to her long, though, and didn't get a good feel for her attitude one way or the other. The boys got a chance to hang around together without mothers hovering. They wandered around the mall by themselves for a couple of hours. I hear they found a few semi-private places to steal a few kisses. Reports are that the BF is a really good kisser.

Right now it's all emo. "I want to be with him." It's all C can think about. He's a goner. They are making plans to be together once the BF turns 18. It's very dramatic, and I'm enjoying the show. Sometimes my life reads like a bad dime store novel.

I mentioned recently that we are being encouraged by Sproing's therapist to implement this behavior modification program in the household. I read the book. I had Light read it. Superman is supposed to read it, but has been slow in doing so. To his credit, he has tried, and there are a whole bunch of other things that demand his attention. The book is poorly written, which of course makes it painful to read. The actual behavior program is not bad, per se, and there is a mixture of good and bad advice in the book. Really, it's a pain in the ass to read. The program makes lots of promises. If done correctly, it will (so says the author) "fix" all the behavior problems of everyone in the household. By extension, if it doesn't fix everything, we must not be doing it correctly. He doesn't say that, but that's what I hear.

The author also says that we must follow the program whether we feel like it or not. Yeah. I get the importance of consistency. It's not consistency I'm so worried about. No, I'm more worried about insanity. Mine. I can do what I must whether I feel like it or not, when I am able to. I'm not entirely well. I have issues. Depressive episodes occasionally cripple me. There are times when I am reduced to tears under the stress of deciding which of two breakfast cereals to have in the morning. As I mentioned, it's been a rough couple of days, and I have cried a lot.

(I'm tired, and rambling on, and have no idea what I am saying, but that won't stop me.)

If we can get this program going, it will make some things much simpler. There won't be decisions, because the rules and consequences are prearranged. There are rules, and rewards for following them and negative consequences for disobeying them. Cut and dried. We make all the decisions beforehand, when we set up the system for our particular household. And ideally we are not in the midst of an emotional crisis when these rules and decisions are made, so we can think clearly. That's where I need Superman's strength, because I'm a mess.

Speaking of thinking clearly, I was earlier. I'm not so much now. I'm going to post this as-is, and hope that it's not a total clusterfuck. I might not read it again tomorrow. I'm already afraid of it. I'm tired now, will go to bed as soon as I shut down this stupid computer. Goodnight.

My life, and how I hate it

No, I don't really hate my whole life. I only hate parts of it, particularly today.

It's Sproing. He is having an exceptionally bad day. I took him to see his therapist this morning and he ran away from her. He ran out of the building and down the street, but stopped at the stop sign. I picked him up and brought him home. He's in his room now, banging things around and grumbling.

The therapist gave me a book to read about parenting. It describes an organized plan for behavior modification, including a list of clear rules, rewards for following the rules, and consequences for breaking the rules. We need to implement this plan soon. Superman needs to read the book. Light is currently reading it. Everyone needs to be on board with this plan because it is a whole family/household plan. C needs to be on board, too. These rules will apply to everyone, and the consequences will too. The rewards only apply to the child, though I think we could probably arrange something for the adults if the need arises.

Consequences involve acts of service, chore type stuff. We need to write all this out, come up with rules, consequences, and rewards that apply to our family. If we can get this thing going, and keep it going, it should make life easier. I hope. Consistency is critical, and is one of my weaknesses. I feel threatened/challenged by this plan. I'm going to have to commit to some things that make me uncomfortable. I feel a grumble coming on.

In the meantime, Sproing hates everybody. He wishes he were dead. He has always hated me. I should never have adopted him (he says). He's stupid and ugly (he says). I told him that I love him, no matter what, and that I want him to be with us. He refused to listen to me, plugged his fingers into his ears and turned his back toward me. As much as I love him, right now I want to bind him with duct tape and secure him to his bed. Of course I won't do that, but the fantasy is kinda nice.

I am tired. Very, very tired.

Well that's better, and some philosophical rambling

For the past couple of days my computer would not load the page that allows me to write a post. I just did something having to do with cookies (I don't know what I did) and now I can type in this little box. Let's see if you can also read it. I'm not tech savvy. Things like this frustrate me.

C and I went to see Diva today. Today's agenda was the treatment team meeting (doctor, nurse, therapist, and parental types, plus Diva). She seemed very distant. We didn't stay to visit afterward. I'll spend some time with her next week, and I think Superman is going to visit her Sunday so she can see her Daddy on Father's Day.

In Other News

I have been exploring the Spiritual. A bit of background: I was in a conservative protestant denomination for 20+ years, convinced (97%) of the rightness of that way until I met C in 2006 (iirc). I was under the delusion that homosek'chuality was a sin, by Jeebus. That is, until I met C. I read a lot, thought a lot, debated with myself a lot, and after a few weeks (it didn't take very long at all) I realized that what the church had taught me about homosexuality was a crock of shit.

Once I allowed myself to seriously question the church's teaching on homosexuality, it opened up a floodgate of questions about most everything else the church taught. Since then I've immersed myself in gay culture as much as I can from here, continued reading, made friends with some fantastic gay bloggers, etc. In doing so I've encountered (one of) the ugly side(s) of Christianity. Y'all, I used to be one of those creatures! I wasn't quite so blood-sucking as some, not as outwardly hateful, but I was under the impression that The Gay was Different in a Bad Way. Now I see those church-y people and cringe. I can't stand to be around them.

That left me in a quandary. I am a spiritual being, and need to exercise that aspect of my being in some way. I can't or won't go into a church anymore. It burns! I've been mostly ignoring spirituality for the past few years. Now that C has moved back home (here), he brings with him a sense of the spiritual. He practices the Craft, the old ways, magick, or whatever it can be called. Light has some good friends who are also witches, and I've learned some from them. My dearest friend Indigo is Wiccan. I'm warming up to this idea. I find that the sense of the spiritual that I experienced in church exists in this tradition. To me, it seems that what I learned about the Christian God (the trinity, especially) is present and expanded upon in the God and Goddess of the pagan tradition.

I'm still working on this. There is a lot more to think about, to ponder, to explore. I believe there is a lot for me to unlearn.

About nothing

My buddy jabacue wrote a post about nothing, and since I don't really have anything about which to write, I thought that I, too, would write about nothing.

I've heard a lot of good things about Seattle, though I have never been there. I'd like to go some day.

The transmission in my truck broke. I don't know exactly what is meant by "broke," but I suspect most of my readers don't know enough about manual transmissions in 1990 F150s for it to be a critical point. The transmission was tragically and immovably broken, so the truck wouldn't move. I had it towed to my guy at the shop, and he suggested we replace it with either a used or a rebuilt transmission. I wondered about just scrapping it. He said it was worth enough to fix it and sell it if we want to. The used transmission was cheaper (by more than half, if I recall) so that's what we chose. I wonder if it was a wise decision. We picked it up on Superman's lunch break today. The sucker cost almost $1000 to repair. Labor was a large portion of the charge, as it takes a lot of work to pull and replace one of those trannies.

I like that truck, but my ardor is waning. I like it less during the hot summer months (no a/c) than I do in the winter. I have a difficult time determining when it's best to cut my losses and move on. Hey, maybe if I keep it another 10 years (or more), it will be an antique and a collector's item. We need a pickup truck, and we probably couldn't get another one in decent condition for less than $1K. Now that it has a newer tranny (67K miles on it) it is a decent truck. Not a great truck, not a pretty truck (it has never been pretty), but a decent truck.

Light has gone out to look for a job. I had to kick her butt to get her moving. She only has an hour to try, because Sproing has an appointment to see the doctor later this afternoon. He did something to hurt his right ankle. I'm not sure what happened, but he says it has something to do with being roughed up by some big mean kids. It's been a bit swollen and intermittently sore for two days. I say intermittently because sometimes he milks the injury for all it's worth, and sometimes he runs around like nothing is wrong. I think the pain is genuine, but not as intense as he makes it out to be.

But about this job thing: the child needs a job. She isn't really a child, exactly, except that she's my child. She'll be 21 next month. She'll be in her senior year when she returns to college in the fall. She has never held a traditional job. She's done some long-term babysitting and occasional house- and dog-sitting. She spent a week as a receptionist last summer, filling in at a friend's office for the vacationing receptionist. She did quite well. She is intelligent and articulate, empathetic and responsible. She'll be an asset just about anywhere she goes. She just has to get out there and try!

Yeah, Sproing got roughed up a bit on Monday. He was at his "friend's" house playing the Xbox, and some big mean kids came around to pick on them. I really have no idea what happened. My sources aren't reliable. The upshot, though, is that his bike got stolen. Pisses me off. We called the police. The only name we had was "Big Devon," but the police officer was able to get some information about him. He (the officer) called Superman later in the evening and gave him the name. They did not find the bike, but the officer suggested that Superman go to the office that handles that stuff (?) in the municipal building downtown and file a juvenile complaint. That's on the to-do list.

I'm supposed to go to Columbia tomorrow to visit the Diva. -groan- I guess I'll call her therapist and arrange a time for that. Oooh! But if I go to Columbia, I can get a Cinnabon! Life needs frosting, you know.

I was schlepping around Wal-Mart this morning and ran into one of my professors. She taught my English class last year. She's a really nice (and pretty) woman. She says she likes my new haircut. I forgot that no one from school has seen the butch dyke cut yet. She indicated that she really likes it, though. That's nice.

Now that the hair has had a few weeks to grow out, I might take a picture and post it here. I like it a little bit better now. It was uneven at first, but it grew out enough for Superman to give it a buzz with the 1" shield, bringing the top to more or less uniform length.

And that's a lot of nothing. Congratulations on reaching the end.

I'm bored

I'm sitting here with a cat draped across my arms. She seems to like the subtle movement of my arms as I type. She has lots of hair, some of which has drifted up to my nose. My nose itches, but she's lying on my arms.

Superman has taken the two current resident kids (Light and Sproing) to his hometown for a visit with family. I'm here, blissfully alone with the cats. C was home last night with half a dozen of his friends. That was exciting. I met one of them for the first time last night, a freshly graduated high school student. Charming young man, with bright plans for the future.

I went to bed around midnight, and when I got up this morning everyone was gone. C has been spending a lot of time with one of his friends, and they often spend the night with each other. Evidently they were at his house last night. I've inquired about the nature of this relationship, and have been informed that it's just a very close friendship. If the possibility presented itself, C would very much like to make it more than that, but for now it is what it is. His friend is bi, and recently broke up with his girlfriend of three years. I'm trying to be patient, but oh, how I love a good love story! Java, stay out of it! Don't mess with things!

I planted some morning glory seeds recently, and noticed yesterday that I've got a few plants beginning to leaf out. I have wanted to do this for the last couple of years, but hadn't gotten off my lazy ass to get outside and do it. There should be some lovely flowers climbing my fence in a few more weeks. I'll take pictures.

I'm taking the summer off from school. I'm getting so intellectually lazy. I had intentions (still do, really) of reading some heavy, heady stuff. I've got a long list of books I want to read. So far I've read a few chapters in The Tearoom Trade, which was written from the doctoral dissertation that Laud Humphreys did back in the 70s, iirc. Though written for general audiences, it follows the style of a scholarly paper, so in that sense it's not exactly a page-turner and the plot is weak. Also, the information is very out of date, and I don't know how much of it remains true in these times. Some of it does, for sure, according to the adventures of former Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig. Times are changing, though, and I like to think (and certainly hope) that men are able to express themselves and meet their needs in less risky situations.

I learned of this book in my research methods class, because Humphrey's research method pushed the bounds of research ethics. I think that's the most relevant aspect of the book today. Perhaps I'll pick it up later today and read on.

I have been reading, though. I read a couple of online serial stories (neither of which is finished, so I have to wait for updates) and have read at least three light gay romances. The most recent one was Scalping the Red Rocks by Greg Lilly. I recommend it. It's a murder mystery with a bit of romance thrown in, though the romance is understated and not a central part of the story. The book won't officially release until July, but I got an advance copy because he used my name (a pseudonym I suggested, but it's my real first name) for one of the minor characters. By "minor" I mean that she isn't the murderer. :-) I won a contest. Yay me. His other books are currently available, and are pretty good, especially Under the Copper Moon. It's enjoyable light reading, intellectually kinda lazy.

I just checked my online story, and there's a new chapter available. I'm going to go read. Y'all have a great weekend.

The horror!

It's not that kind of show, unfortunately

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