I owe all of us this post

... not least because it's been a while.

Yes, I am faring better, generally. I'm very glad this new medicine (Abilify) is helping as well as it is, because Shit Happens. Diva shit, again, with a touch of Sproing drama.

It's hard for me to talk about because I'm so sick of it all, so sick of trying to maintain something that looks like sanity when all around me are nuckin' futts.

Let's see if I can zip through this. Last weekend Diva had permission to spend one night with her friend Morq. Friday night only. She got a ride to Morq's house in Abbeville. She said she'd be back Saturday, which indicated to us that she had a way to get home. But she didn't. We didn't hear from her on Saturday, but got a brief text giving us the phone number to her new phone. When we tried to call or text the phone we got no response. She still wasn't home on Monday morning, so after I established that she wasn't at school I called the police. A very nice officer came to the house and we discussed the situation. Between the time I called 911 and him arriving, Diva called. She was mad as hell that we hadn't gone to Abbeville to get her "like you were supposed to." First I'd heard of I-was-supposed-to.

Superman took time off from work to go get her. He lectured her a bit on the way home, so they were both in a foul mood when they got here. Then Superman gave her a chore to perform as punishment (scrape the walls in her room to remove all the extra paint she's put there with her notes and stuff). She went ballistic. "I ain't touching those G++ D~~m walls."  There were a couple of "fuck yous" sprinkled throughout. Then she started throwing stuff against the walls in her room, and throwing herself against the door. She weighs over 200 lbs, and is strong, so that's a mighty force against the door. After she finally calmed down Superman went back to work.

I was hiding in my bedroom. Twitch was doing the same in his room. We both heard her when she loudly said "I'm gonna cut myself." After a bit I wandered into the living room to check. She had my favorite paring knife and was pressing the blade against her arm. Just pressing, and not very hard. She ended up making three scratches that barely broke the skin. I asked her to give me the knife and she refused. Look, y'all, I'm sick of her games, you know? I went back to my room and called 911 again. This time I got three police officers and a two man team of EMS in an ambulance. If the Bitch wants to pull her shit with me I'm gonna call her bluff. The police took her to the emergency department at the hospital. I had to follow to sign forms to allow her to be treated, which I did. Then I left to go to my doctor's appointment. I had to tell my doctor that the new drugs are working pretty well, and oh by the way here's an example of the shit I'm managing.

The hospital psychiatrist kept Diva overnight for observation and evaluation. She got sprung on Tuesday just in time for her appointment with her therapist at the local mental health clinic. Since then she's been all sweetness and light. With her it's a dark light. Shrouded, you might say.

She and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon. She's been researching ways to be independent, to emancipate from the family. I'm all for it. She also has a boyfriend (who gave her a cell phone, so you know it's serious). Today she told me he's 23 years old. You know, I don't care. And I told her that as long as he treats her well I don't have a problem with him being that old. She says they've been talking about rings. What does that mean when she says it? I have no idea. But I volunteered the information that if she gets married she's automatically emancipated. She was shocked, thought I was fooling with her. Nope, it's the truth. Man oh man, wouldn't that be the thing, though? Get her married and out of here. She's 16, will be 17 in early December. Probably time for her to marry. Yep, I like that idea.

This afternoon I got a call from the assistant principal at the high school. Sproing has been suspended for two days. There's only six more full days and two half days until school is out. He's missing the two days before the end of course exams, which if he fails he fails the course. And they'll be doing review for the exams in those two days. It looks like he'll see 10th grade again next year. So will she, if things stay as they are with her grades and attendance records. Whatever. At 17 she's gone, her decision. I don't know about Sproing, though, whether he'll try to bolt at 17 or will wait another year. I haven't decided if I care.

Diva got her Depo shot yesterday - birth control that lasts three months. About six weeks ago she went in for the shot but told the doctor she wanted to take bc pills instead of getting the shot. I said as long as she takes the pills daily as she's supposed to, fine. But she didn't. So she's back on the shot (Phew!). They also ran some tests and she came up positive for chlamydia again. So another big dose of super powerful antibiotics for her. Her gonorrhea test was negative though, so that's good.

Let's change the subject. I'm doing all kinds of projects and shit now. I am in the middle of sewing a piratey shirt. You know, it's a piratey thing.

I finished a unique interpretation of a shirt pattern. I like it. Have I made a new skirt? No, but I need to. There are a few Simplicity patterns I want, dress and/or skirt patterns. Next week Simplicity patterns go on sale at the local Hancock fabric store. $1.99 per. I'm thrilled. :)

Speaking of Hancock fabrics, the local store is accepting applications. I've considered working there for years, and with my Abilify (or whatever is responsible for this new sense of purpose) I think I want to do it now. Superman says I should go for it because it would be good for me. Twitch told me I should so I could get out of the house because I hate it here. Boy, he's got my number, doesn't he? I thought about going over there to fill out the application today, but have decided to sleep on it another day and perhaps go tomorrow. Because I'm scared?? Maybe. I also think it'd be a good idea to sleep on it one more night. And there's a good sale on tomorrow. :-)

Enough for now. There are pictures in my phone that I want to share, but not this time.

Happy October

Man, time flies when I'm ignoring the internet. Didn't realize it had been so long since my last post.

I have a new floater in my eye. Left eye. Actually, this might be the first floater in my eye. No, I have a few tiny dust mote looking things in my eyes that I see occasionally. This one looks like a long fine cat hair, the kind of cat hair I find all over my house anyway, thanks to Smudge. Can cat hair be so ubiquitous it gets into one's eyeball? It's slightly left of center of my vision in my left eye. It wiggles occasionally, sometimes looking like a long legged spider, sometimes like a knot. It's very distracting. I called the eye doctor's office today, asked the nice lady on the phone if this was something I should be concerned about. She said "I'm not a doctor, but if it was me, I'd get it checked out." It's time for my complete checkup anyway, and she was able to get me in to see my doctor tomorrow morning, so there you have it. If it's anything critical, I'll be sure to post an update. If it's nothing to worry about, you probably won't hear from me about it.

Guess what!? Twitch got two jobs today! Both in food service. I don't know what he'll be doing. Working at Five Guys I guess he'll probably make sandwiches or whatever it is they serve there. The other place, and I can't remember the name of it, is a nice full service restaurant. Perhaps he's cooking or washing dishes. Personally I think it would be a bad idea for him to start out as a server. He's not much of a people person. I could be wrong, though. I hope he finds much success and makes a bunch of money.

Speaking of not being a people person, me. I was able to stay home four out of five days last week. Stayed home yesterday... wait, no I didn't. Went to Waffle House with Superman for breakfast then did a quick shopping trip to the grocery store. Was home shortly after 9, and stayed home the rest of the day. I was supposed to see my therapist this noon, but took a morning nap and overslept. OK, to be honest, I sort of did that on purpose. Not that I don't like seeing my therapist. I really really didn't want to go out in public today. Yeah, the agoraphobia is acting up again. I'll go to the eye doctor tomorrow morning, and pick Sproing up after school to take him to his therapy appointment. Perhaps I'll shop for groceries if I feel particularly brave. At Aldi, which is small, and during the workday/workweek is likely to be empty-ish. I hope. I should also get a haircut, but not sure about that. We'll see.

That's about all I got this time.

About nothing

My buddy jabacue wrote a post about nothing, and since I don't really have anything about which to write, I thought that I, too, would write about nothing.

I've heard a lot of good things about Seattle, though I have never been there. I'd like to go some day.

The transmission in my truck broke. I don't know exactly what is meant by "broke," but I suspect most of my readers don't know enough about manual transmissions in 1990 F150s for it to be a critical point. The transmission was tragically and immovably broken, so the truck wouldn't move. I had it towed to my guy at the shop, and he suggested we replace it with either a used or a rebuilt transmission. I wondered about just scrapping it. He said it was worth enough to fix it and sell it if we want to. The used transmission was cheaper (by more than half, if I recall) so that's what we chose. I wonder if it was a wise decision. We picked it up on Superman's lunch break today. The sucker cost almost $1000 to repair. Labor was a large portion of the charge, as it takes a lot of work to pull and replace one of those trannies.

I like that truck, but my ardor is waning. I like it less during the hot summer months (no a/c) than I do in the winter. I have a difficult time determining when it's best to cut my losses and move on. Hey, maybe if I keep it another 10 years (or more), it will be an antique and a collector's item. We need a pickup truck, and we probably couldn't get another one in decent condition for less than $1K. Now that it has a newer tranny (67K miles on it) it is a decent truck. Not a great truck, not a pretty truck (it has never been pretty), but a decent truck.

Light has gone out to look for a job. I had to kick her butt to get her moving. She only has an hour to try, because Sproing has an appointment to see the doctor later this afternoon. He did something to hurt his right ankle. I'm not sure what happened, but he says it has something to do with being roughed up by some big mean kids. It's been a bit swollen and intermittently sore for two days. I say intermittently because sometimes he milks the injury for all it's worth, and sometimes he runs around like nothing is wrong. I think the pain is genuine, but not as intense as he makes it out to be.

But about this job thing: the child needs a job. She isn't really a child, exactly, except that she's my child. She'll be 21 next month. She'll be in her senior year when she returns to college in the fall. She has never held a traditional job. She's done some long-term babysitting and occasional house- and dog-sitting. She spent a week as a receptionist last summer, filling in at a friend's office for the vacationing receptionist. She did quite well. She is intelligent and articulate, empathetic and responsible. She'll be an asset just about anywhere she goes. She just has to get out there and try!

Yeah, Sproing got roughed up a bit on Monday. He was at his "friend's" house playing the Xbox, and some big mean kids came around to pick on them. I really have no idea what happened. My sources aren't reliable. The upshot, though, is that his bike got stolen. Pisses me off. We called the police. The only name we had was "Big Devon," but the police officer was able to get some information about him. He (the officer) called Superman later in the evening and gave him the name. They did not find the bike, but the officer suggested that Superman go to the office that handles that stuff (?) in the municipal building downtown and file a juvenile complaint. That's on the to-do list.

I'm supposed to go to Columbia tomorrow to visit the Diva. -groan- I guess I'll call her therapist and arrange a time for that. Oooh! But if I go to Columbia, I can get a Cinnabon! Life needs frosting, you know.

I was schlepping around Wal-Mart this morning and ran into one of my professors. She taught my English class last year. She's a really nice (and pretty) woman. She says she likes my new haircut. I forgot that no one from school has seen the butch dyke cut yet. She indicated that she really likes it, though. That's nice.

Now that the hair has had a few weeks to grow out, I might take a picture and post it here. I like it a little bit better now. It was uneven at first, but it grew out enough for Superman to give it a buzz with the 1" shield, bringing the top to more or less uniform length.

And that's a lot of nothing. Congratulations on reaching the end.