I owe all of us this post

... not least because it's been a while.

Yes, I am faring better, generally. I'm very glad this new medicine (Abilify) is helping as well as it is, because Shit Happens. Diva shit, again, with a touch of Sproing drama.

It's hard for me to talk about because I'm so sick of it all, so sick of trying to maintain something that looks like sanity when all around me are nuckin' futts.

Let's see if I can zip through this. Last weekend Diva had permission to spend one night with her friend Morq. Friday night only. She got a ride to Morq's house in Abbeville. She said she'd be back Saturday, which indicated to us that she had a way to get home. But she didn't. We didn't hear from her on Saturday, but got a brief text giving us the phone number to her new phone. When we tried to call or text the phone we got no response. She still wasn't home on Monday morning, so after I established that she wasn't at school I called the police. A very nice officer came to the house and we discussed the situation. Between the time I called 911 and him arriving, Diva called. She was mad as hell that we hadn't gone to Abbeville to get her "like you were supposed to." First I'd heard of I-was-supposed-to.

Superman took time off from work to go get her. He lectured her a bit on the way home, so they were both in a foul mood when they got here. Then Superman gave her a chore to perform as punishment (scrape the walls in her room to remove all the extra paint she's put there with her notes and stuff). She went ballistic. "I ain't touching those G++ D~~m walls."  There were a couple of "fuck yous" sprinkled throughout. Then she started throwing stuff against the walls in her room, and throwing herself against the door. She weighs over 200 lbs, and is strong, so that's a mighty force against the door. After she finally calmed down Superman went back to work.

I was hiding in my bedroom. Twitch was doing the same in his room. We both heard her when she loudly said "I'm gonna cut myself." After a bit I wandered into the living room to check. She had my favorite paring knife and was pressing the blade against her arm. Just pressing, and not very hard. She ended up making three scratches that barely broke the skin. I asked her to give me the knife and she refused. Look, y'all, I'm sick of her games, you know? I went back to my room and called 911 again. This time I got three police officers and a two man team of EMS in an ambulance. If the Bitch wants to pull her shit with me I'm gonna call her bluff. The police took her to the emergency department at the hospital. I had to follow to sign forms to allow her to be treated, which I did. Then I left to go to my doctor's appointment. I had to tell my doctor that the new drugs are working pretty well, and oh by the way here's an example of the shit I'm managing.

The hospital psychiatrist kept Diva overnight for observation and evaluation. She got sprung on Tuesday just in time for her appointment with her therapist at the local mental health clinic. Since then she's been all sweetness and light. With her it's a dark light. Shrouded, you might say.

She and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon. She's been researching ways to be independent, to emancipate from the family. I'm all for it. She also has a boyfriend (who gave her a cell phone, so you know it's serious). Today she told me he's 23 years old. You know, I don't care. And I told her that as long as he treats her well I don't have a problem with him being that old. She says they've been talking about rings. What does that mean when she says it? I have no idea. But I volunteered the information that if she gets married she's automatically emancipated. She was shocked, thought I was fooling with her. Nope, it's the truth. Man oh man, wouldn't that be the thing, though? Get her married and out of here. She's 16, will be 17 in early December. Probably time for her to marry. Yep, I like that idea.

This afternoon I got a call from the assistant principal at the high school. Sproing has been suspended for two days. There's only six more full days and two half days until school is out. He's missing the two days before the end of course exams, which if he fails he fails the course. And they'll be doing review for the exams in those two days. It looks like he'll see 10th grade again next year. So will she, if things stay as they are with her grades and attendance records. Whatever. At 17 she's gone, her decision. I don't know about Sproing, though, whether he'll try to bolt at 17 or will wait another year. I haven't decided if I care.

Diva got her Depo shot yesterday - birth control that lasts three months. About six weeks ago she went in for the shot but told the doctor she wanted to take bc pills instead of getting the shot. I said as long as she takes the pills daily as she's supposed to, fine. But she didn't. So she's back on the shot (Phew!). They also ran some tests and she came up positive for chlamydia again. So another big dose of super powerful antibiotics for her. Her gonorrhea test was negative though, so that's good.

Let's change the subject. I'm doing all kinds of projects and shit now. I am in the middle of sewing a piratey shirt. You know, it's a piratey thing.

I finished a unique interpretation of a shirt pattern. I like it. Have I made a new skirt? No, but I need to. There are a few Simplicity patterns I want, dress and/or skirt patterns. Next week Simplicity patterns go on sale at the local Hancock fabric store. $1.99 per. I'm thrilled. :)

Speaking of Hancock fabrics, the local store is accepting applications. I've considered working there for years, and with my Abilify (or whatever is responsible for this new sense of purpose) I think I want to do it now. Superman says I should go for it because it would be good for me. Twitch told me I should so I could get out of the house because I hate it here. Boy, he's got my number, doesn't he? I thought about going over there to fill out the application today, but have decided to sleep on it another day and perhaps go tomorrow. Because I'm scared?? Maybe. I also think it'd be a good idea to sleep on it one more night. And there's a good sale on tomorrow. :-)

Enough for now. There are pictures in my phone that I want to share, but not this time.

Convince yourself that everything is alright

For Nancy - Pete Yorn : Time Lapse Lettering from Bobby Roman on Vimeo.

'Cause it already is.

Nice message. Does it work? I dunno. Maybe.

I am preparing for a trip. I told you that last time, I believe. I made myself a new skirt and a dress or two. I say "or two" because the first one I made, well, the dress turned out OK before I "helped" it. I art-ed it up by painting it. It's made of plain unbleached muslin, so it was very plain and off white and boring. So I had some fun with craft paints. But the dress didn't fare so well. It looks like it was dragged through the mud. Doesn't matter much to me, really, because I made it with muslin as a test of the pattern. I'll use it as a house dress, just wear it at home when I'm hanging around doing home stuff.

Then I used the same pattern to make a dress with a blue and green checked seersucker cotton fabric. I'm wearing it right now. It works, it's comfortable, and it looks good (I think). So that's an overall win. I'm also going to use this pattern for some nice linen I bought a couple of years ago. That's the plan, anyway.

I have decided to try to do something creative every day. So far I've mostly sewed. I'd really like to get back into sculpture of some kind, but I'm working up to that. And there is a good bit of sewing I should do anyway. My wardrobe is... old. And worn. I have quite a few house dresses, or as I like to call them, rags. I rarely wear them when I go out anywhere. Most of them used to be fairly decent clothes but have been worn slap out. So I need some new stuff. So I sew. Diva and I went to the fabric store yesterday and I found (on sale!!) some pretty yellow fabric with a little flowery print. I bought the rest of the bolt (4 yards) and want to make a blouse from that, to match the skirt I plan to make from some yellow gauze stuff I have that looks like that picture up there.

Then there's the conestoga frame. I've used painter's drop cloth canvas to cover the conestoga in the past, but that stuff is very heavy. I'm not in good shape, folks. My muscles are weak and wimpy, so I need something a bit lighter and easier to manage. I made the roof portion of the cover last night. Now I need to set up the conestoga frame to determine how and where to attach the sides. I hope to do that this afternoon, but it looks like rain. I want Superman to help, also, because... well, because I want help.

We went to our favorite place, The Mill House, for brunch today. Today is the first day they've been opened on Sunday and have served brunch. As far as I'm concerned it was a smashing success. Mimosas, people. And savory crepes. And one of their specialties, Drunk shrimp and grits. The grits are actually polenta, and the shrimp are marinated in some kind of beer (I forget what) then they make a sauce with the marinade. It was extremely good. I had the curried chicken crepe which was even better than Superman's drunk shrimp and grits. After my mimosas (yes, two) I had a beer. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Today is C's birthday. He's 25. We were going to take him out for brunch for his birthday, but he had to work (he's a cook at Shoney's) until noon, but didn't get off until after 1:30. We were already at The Mill House, waiting for him to join us. Eventually we left, came home, and he was just getting out of the shower. So I told him we'd take him out for dinner, but he's going to spend the rest of the day with his friend Holly. Oh well, we'll take him out later this week. And I got to have a delicious boozy brunch with my Superman, so it's all good.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Since I have some sewing and other prep-for-my-trip work to do, think I'll post this, change into my house dress (or some shorts) and get to work.

A comfort car: sort of like comfort food, but not.

Life goes on

I feel detached from myself. Almost like I'm looking at my life from the outside, but not quite. I don't know who I am. All of a sudden I showed up in this strange life and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. It's a mild dissociation, and I'm sure it'll pass. I think the imminent change of season might have something to do with it. I often get disoriented in the early fall and early spring.

Although I'm waiting for fall to get here and she isn't in any hurry. It is still hot hot hot here. And dry. We need rain. Looks like we'll get some from the tropical system that was lately in the Gulf o' Mexico. (Can't remember what they named it.)

I went to the fabric store this afternoon. That's always fun. I want to make a warm winter coat for Light, so was looking through the pattern books. I found ONE pattern for a nice long lined coat. I was able to get the interfacing, lining, and shoulder pads for the coat, but not the outer fabric. The store had a hunk of thick wool fabric that I liked, but didn't have quite enough. The coat requires 6.25 yards and there were only 5-and-a-little-bit yards on the bolt at the store. But Superman, who like a super man went to the fabric store with me, mentioned that we will be in the Charlotte area in a couple of days and can go to Mary Jo's Cloth Store! Yippee!! I love that place. They have tons of fabric, practically anything anyone needs. Or wants.

Twitch is home for the holiday weekend. I drove up to Charlotte and brought him home Thursday evening. Loads of fun. School is closed for Labor Day, and he doesn't have any Tuesday classes. Cool, huh? We will take him back home Tuesday night. But yesterday he went with Superman and Sproing to the Charlotte area, because of course he's home for a long weekend break, so he had to go back to Charlotte for the day. Whatever.

But, there's a good reason they went to Charlotte. Superman is in the market for a new pickup truck. They found one! We will go back Tuesday after Superman has a chance to go to the credit union for the $$s. He's been approved for a car loan, but hadn't found a car yet, you know how that goes. Anyway, he found a pickup he likes. It's an F-250 with a 5.4L V8 with tow package. Extended cab, so it has a small back seat, not a full 4 door crew cab. He says it has a large bed, plenty for carrying all manner of cargo. I'm all excited.

I am sort of taking a class this semester. Classes started last Thursday. I am sitting in on an art history class, and so far I really like it. Absolutely love the professor. I've met him, but never took a class with him. He's an old guy who keeps talking about retiring, but hasn't yet. Many people have told me I should take at least one of his classes. The class I'm in covers the Renaissance and Baroque, or maybe Rococo. I haven't a clue about the time lines for those periods, though I will by the end of the course.

It seems like there's something else I should tell you, but I can't think what it is. If I think of it, perhaps I'll add it later. Or make a new post.

Just another manic Friday

I did a bit of school-supply shopping this afternoon. I couldn't bring myself to brave the Evil Retail Empire, so I got the stuff from the office supply retailer. It's a friendlier, smaller store. I got stuff for Diva. Sproing got all of his supplies for the school year at the end of his summer program. I'm glad I don't have to buy double this year.

Diva saw her new therapist yesterday. From what I heard, (about it, not listening in or anything) the new therapist has a keen bull shit detector. She mentioned that Diva was blowing bullshit bubbles. I love that mental image.

So I took some Lorazepam yeasterday. Eh. I was already sleepy, so sleeping wasn't any different. I really didn't feel anything. Took another dose this morning, and can't tell any difference. WTF. I've been on edge all day, very impatient, and have come close to crying (for no logical reason) a couple of times. I see no difference.

I'm tired again, but I won't bore you any more with that.

I got my final grades. I did well on the stats exam, and ended with a 97 in the class. I fudged enough stuff in economics and pulled a 93 outta my ass for that one. Still A's. I'm happy.

I went to the fabric store when I was out earlier today. They had a bunch of stuff marked down 50%. I got a couple of nice pieces of linen. Yes, real linen! It feels so good! I got three yards of some bold purple 100% cotton diamond pique. It is a good bottom weight fabric, and I may make a skirt from it. Or perhaps I'll make a jumper for the Darling Diva. I'll probably think about it for a long time, make elaborate plans for it, but never actually do anything. That's my style.

That's all I know right now. ta-ta