I try to live a relatively low drama life. Doesn't always work out that way.

So Valentine's Day has been fraught with angst many times over my lifetime. Sometimes it's good, sometimes not. Honestly I wonder if somehow the date is cursed. Wasn't there a huge Valentine's Day Massacre in Chicago perpetrated by the mob 100 years ago? Yeah, 1929, so not quite 100 years. This year we get another massacre. There's a lot going on about that. I'm super proud of the students for speaking out, and have real hope for the first time in a while that perhaps the legislators will make significant changes. Dan Savage had an interesting proposal on his Lovecast podcast this week. Suspend all gun sales for 30 days after a mass shooting. There's more to what he said and I can't articulate it well right now and I've come to talk about a more personal Valentine's Day kerfuffle.

Twitch was born on Valentine's Day in 1991. As much as I love my son and am proud of the man he's become, I did not want to have a baby on Valentine's Day. Wasn't my choice, though, was it.

This year I was chillin' at home, enjoying the peace. I'd made some crispy rice treats for Twitch, planned to deliver them (big double batch) to the restaurant where he works to celebrate his birthday and so he could share the goodies with his coworkers. I also wanted to make nice with the crew at the restaurant. It's my favorite place in town. I've mentioned it before. Beer and brick oven pizza. Yum.

I was waiting for Twitch's shift to start, was going to deliver the goodies around 5. At 4:30 I got a call from, of all places, Turbeville, SC, from the prison where Sproing has been incarcerated. This woman was calling to tell me that Sproing was being released. Today. Right now. Can I come pick him up?

Immediate anxiety "episode". I hesitate to call it an attack, because I can still breathe, my heart rate only elevates a little bit. I dunno. I wasn't comfortable. Shit.

First thing I told her was "Do you know where I live?" I assume she looks at her paperwork there, says Greenwood. Yep. Do you know how far away Greenwood is from Turbeville? No, I can't drive all that way right now. She says we can meet in Columbia, which is a good halfway distance from both locations. Well shit. I do NOT WANT TO DO THIS!

We agreed on a location in Columbia to meet. I got off the phone and pitched a fit. Lots of cussing. Lots of I don't want to do this. But it needs to be done, and I do what needs to be done. Adulting sucks sometimes. So after giving myself a pep-talk I took the treats to Twitch, told him I had to get his brother, and went to get his brother.

I won't bore you with the details. They're tedious anyway. After a few calls back and forth on the cell phone of his driver, we met at the agreed location. It was easy. He got out of the other car, said goodbye, got into my car, and OH SHIT SPROING  IS HERE, GOING HOME WITH ME, SHIT I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. Breathe. Breathe. I breathed a lot last Wednesday.

This came totally out of the blue. I thought he would be in prison for another year, year and a half. Surprise!

Shit. So he's home. It's gone well so far, but he's still on his best behavior. He needs to get the FUCK out of my house. I keep dropping hints. hee hee.

But I'm not home right now. I'm at the most bestest coffee shop in all of western Pennsylvania. I'm visiting Light in Indiana, PA. Indianapa. She's getting married in less than two months, and I have the sample dress for her to try on. Did I mention I'm making her wedding dress? Well, trying to, anyway. It's light lavender satin with a white lace overlay. I've not sewn these fabrics before. I got a length of satin and some lace with which to practice. I got most of the dress constructed before I left home, but there's a little bit left to do. It's been a royal pain in the ass, especially the lace overlay.

I need to go do other things right now, and I'm pretty sure the time on my parking meter has expired. Perhaps I'll post again soon, maybe with photos of the sample practice dress.

Convince yourself that everything is alright

For Nancy - Pete Yorn : Time Lapse Lettering from Bobby Roman on Vimeo.

'Cause it already is.

Nice message. Does it work? I dunno. Maybe.

I am preparing for a trip. I told you that last time, I believe. I made myself a new skirt and a dress or two. I say "or two" because the first one I made, well, the dress turned out OK before I "helped" it. I art-ed it up by painting it. It's made of plain unbleached muslin, so it was very plain and off white and boring. So I had some fun with craft paints. But the dress didn't fare so well. It looks like it was dragged through the mud. Doesn't matter much to me, really, because I made it with muslin as a test of the pattern. I'll use it as a house dress, just wear it at home when I'm hanging around doing home stuff.

Then I used the same pattern to make a dress with a blue and green checked seersucker cotton fabric. I'm wearing it right now. It works, it's comfortable, and it looks good (I think). So that's an overall win. I'm also going to use this pattern for some nice linen I bought a couple of years ago. That's the plan, anyway.

I have decided to try to do something creative every day. So far I've mostly sewed. I'd really like to get back into sculpture of some kind, but I'm working up to that. And there is a good bit of sewing I should do anyway. My wardrobe is... old. And worn. I have quite a few house dresses, or as I like to call them, rags. I rarely wear them when I go out anywhere. Most of them used to be fairly decent clothes but have been worn slap out. So I need some new stuff. So I sew. Diva and I went to the fabric store yesterday and I found (on sale!!) some pretty yellow fabric with a little flowery print. I bought the rest of the bolt (4 yards) and want to make a blouse from that, to match the skirt I plan to make from some yellow gauze stuff I have that looks like that picture up there.

Then there's the conestoga frame. I've used painter's drop cloth canvas to cover the conestoga in the past, but that stuff is very heavy. I'm not in good shape, folks. My muscles are weak and wimpy, so I need something a bit lighter and easier to manage. I made the roof portion of the cover last night. Now I need to set up the conestoga frame to determine how and where to attach the sides. I hope to do that this afternoon, but it looks like rain. I want Superman to help, also, because... well, because I want help.

We went to our favorite place, The Mill House, for brunch today. Today is the first day they've been opened on Sunday and have served brunch. As far as I'm concerned it was a smashing success. Mimosas, people. And savory crepes. And one of their specialties, Drunk shrimp and grits. The grits are actually polenta, and the shrimp are marinated in some kind of beer (I forget what) then they make a sauce with the marinade. It was extremely good. I had the curried chicken crepe which was even better than Superman's drunk shrimp and grits. After my mimosas (yes, two) I had a beer. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Today is C's birthday. He's 25. We were going to take him out for brunch for his birthday, but he had to work (he's a cook at Shoney's) until noon, but didn't get off until after 1:30. We were already at The Mill House, waiting for him to join us. Eventually we left, came home, and he was just getting out of the shower. So I told him we'd take him out for dinner, but he's going to spend the rest of the day with his friend Holly. Oh well, we'll take him out later this week. And I got to have a delicious boozy brunch with my Superman, so it's all good.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Since I have some sewing and other prep-for-my-trip work to do, think I'll post this, change into my house dress (or some shorts) and get to work.

This Thursday thing seems to be a trend [Now with updates!!]

If I'm only posting once a week, Thursday seems like as good a day as any to do so.

Happy Thanksgiving. No, wait, it's Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day, a day in which I give thanks for my most wonderful husband.

...And, incidentally, my son Twitch's birthday. Happy Birthday, Twitch! He's living at home now, again, looking for work. Today he turns 22. I just talked to him. The gay boys were up late last night "tripping on something" and evidently being pretty noisy about it. I didn't hear a thing, but that's not unusual. I'm at the other end of the house with my CPAP making soothing white noise in my nose all night. But they woke up Twitch, and now he's in a snit. He went back to sleep and only woke up again at 9:30. He is currently drinking some coffee. I told him to take a shower. Hopefully he'll feel better after he eats.

I have yet to get his birthday gifts. He wants wool socks and some fine whiskey. Was chatting with Victor last night who said he got wool socks for his husband at Kmart, so I should look there. And I will, but I reminded Victor that there's a big difference in what items the big box stores stock depending on their location. He is in Vermont, I'm in South Carolina. My chance of finding wool socks in the Kmart here is significantly lower than if I were in Vermont. Did you know that there are no snow shovels at either Kmart or Walmart in this town? At least I don't think there are. Have never seen any. Actually, until Light moved to Pennsylvania, I don't think I'd ever seen a snow shovel. Didn't know what they look like. I saw one when I visited her last year.

That paragraph went all over the place, didn't it?

We're struggling with Diva again/still. She needs to go someplace else. I cleaned out my old dresser (we're rearranging our bedroom, sort of) and found a list of possible placements for the girl. I'll look those up online today, see if anything seems suitable. She's sort of falling between the cracks here. She's too extreme for the group home-type places that are what they call "low management" but not quite crazy enough for the "high management" treatment centers. We haven't found anything in between yet. Still looking.

Recently I've fallen into the trap of taking a morning nap sometime between 9 and noon. It's 10:15 now, and I feel so sleepy! But I'm resisting. The longer I sit here, though, the harder it is to resist. I need to either get up and DO something or go on to sleep. Think I'll do something, like go buy booze and socks. Also, I need to bake a lemon meringue pie for the birthday boy. So I'm off to do those things now. Ta ta!

UPDATE: I ended up not even looking for the wool socks. I might look tomorrow, or order some online or something. Twitch will be happy to get them even if they're late. I did, however, find some booze. I got him a bottle of Bushmills. That stuff is not cheap! I hope he enjoys and appreciates it.

I made two pies, one lemon meringue and one chocolate cream. Maybe I'll take pictures.

And I did not have a nap! Though right now I'm feelin' the need. The casserole that Twitch requested is in the oven now. Superman made it last night at Sproing's request, and it was so well received that Twitch wanted it again tonight. It's a simple salmagundi of rice, canned chicken meat, a few frozen peas, and assorted cheeses. I think. Superman invented it based on stuff Sproing likes. After supper I'll give Twitch his gift (I even wrapped it nice and all) and we'll attack the pies.

On the first day of the new year

We had a birthday party! Well, it was very mild by party standards. It consisted of a birthday cake and some ice cream. But it was fun.

I get a big kick out of these squigly candles

And here's our birthday boy! Indigo has been here this week, as I may have mentioned. We have had a great time just hanging out together. He's a great friend. We took the kids to the park earlier this week, and today Indigo took the kids to the larger park and sports center operated by the county. The one they went to today is quite large, with football, baseball, and soccer fields, tennis courts, a bunch of small playground areas and one really big fancy playground. There's also a walking path that goes around the park. I think it's a 1 mile track, but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, today was sunny and cool, a beautiful day to cavort in the park. They boys played catch with the baseball, Indigo walked the exercise track, and Diva ... did what divas do? She may have been in on the game of catch, I'm not sure. I wasn't there. I stayed here and enjoyed some peace and quiet! 

Superman and I got some more done in Light's new room (the one C and S recently vacated). I say "we" worked on it, though mostly it was Superman. I painted the trim around the doors. He installed and painted the crown moulding and painted the window trim. The wood of the window itself needs to be painted, since S did a crap job painting the frame when they moved into that room. He smeared brown paint on the window frames when he painted the trim. Impatient, irresponsible, yada yada... But the sun shone all day, there was lots of natural light coming in through the window, the progress is obvious. I think we had a successful day. Oh, I also helped by going to the home improvement store (can I just call it a hardware store? But it is one of those big box monstrosities they call  a home improvement center) to get another quart of trim paint for the crown moulding and baseboards. 

I was going to make a quiche for supper, and probably another pie or two. We need more pumpkin pie. Seriously.  But I ran out of umph after baking the cake. The day got away from me. One minute it's 2:15, I do a couple of things, then turn around and it's 5:30. Whoa. Where did my afternoon go? There are a few things I'd like to do Friday, but it's already after 3am, so I'm already pushing my luck. 

Speaking of 3am, luck, and stuff to do, I believe I'll go to bed. It seems fitting. 

Hope everyone had a pleasant New Year's celebration, and I wish you all a very happy and successful 2009. 

How to survive a nervous breakdown, take two

My day is not this bad.

But it isn't too good, either. I felt so much better yesterday. I don't know what happened. Did I do too much? Or is this the nature of the beast?

Today is Light's 19th birthday. She is such an incredible young woman and a blessing to me. She is handling the household while I isolate myself. I want her to have a good day. I want to be able to carry my share of the burden and give her a break.

I slept through morning visiting hours this morning (7:30-8:30). When I got up at 8:30 I got dressed and went into the kitchen to make coffee and find some breakfast. I got the coffee started. That was my limit. Breakfast befuddled me. Dear darling Light toasted a bagel for me. I gave her my debit card and she went to the grocery store for some milk. Besides that and a small block of Havarti cheese I have no idea what else she got. The thing is, see, I trust her. I know I can send her to the store with my debit card and she won't buy 3 gallons of ice cream and the latest Playboy or Maxim magazine.

The younger ones have come in to hug me and whine at me. That challenges my stability but doesn't confuse me. I can very easily say "Tell your problems to Light or save them for Dad when he gets home." I give them hugs, scratch Sproing's back for a minute, then say "I'll see you later." This works. But I feel bad for not being able to do more, to help keep them out of Light's hair.

Here's a funny exchange from this morning. The setting: our kitchen. Players: Light, Sproing and Java.

Java to Light- Sproing asked me yesterday if I was going to bake a cake for your birthday today. Do you want one?

Light to Java- Only if you are up to it.

Java to Light- We'll see.

Sproing to Light- A white or a pink cake?? Do you want a pink cake?

Light to Sproing- Do I look like a pink cake kind of person??? (btw, she is definitely NOT a pink cake kind of person. She's a semi-butch bisexual who loves to wear black.)

Sproing- OK, a chocolate cake. But with white icing, OK?

Java to Sproing- It's her birthday. Don't you think she should have the kind of cake SHE wants?

The conversation broke down at this point. I suspect he isn't capable of considering anyone else's point of view. Either that or he got distracted by something shiny and/or had stood in one place as long as is possible for him. He's kinda frenetic.

Superman and I are taking Light out to eat this evening. She wants to go to the Crimson Crustacean. I might take my glasses off so I don't have to look at the clientele.

I was waiting in the drive-through line at the fast food place beside the Crimson Crustacean on Monday evening. From that vantage point I could clearly see the Crimson Crustacean parking lot. A rotund man who's age I approximate to be late 40s or early 50s left that fine establishment and waddled out to his car. He was wearing athletic shorts, a grungy t-shirt and a baseball cap. In this small town, that is one of our nicer restaurants. It disturbs me that people go in there dressed like that. I am fairly rotund myself, and am anything but a flashy dresser. But when I go out to a restaurant I clean up a bit. Maybe I'm being snobbish, but there you have it.

Think I'll go doodle for a while.

Have a nice day.