Diva update

First of all, I must note that the "a" key broke off my computer keyboard. This presents a challenge that I may not completely overcome.

Diva had her arraignment hearing this afternoon, NOT in the Greenwood County courthouse. We had to drive an hour to get to Newberry. That's where juvenile court was held in this section of the state today. They ended up dropping both of the assault charges (didn't ask me; I wanted to pursue the assault charge I filed) and charged her with being incorrigible. Isn't that fun? All legal reps recommended that she be placed in the DJJ evaluation center where she will get what promises to be a thorough psychiatric and psychological* and physical evaluation. In 30-45 days she will appear before the court for a decision about what to do next. We have three agencies involved now: Continuum of Care, state mental health dept, and DJJ. I hope they all work well together. Any or all of them have the capacity to recommend alternative placement for her, a placement that does NOT include my house. Know what I mean?

Right now I'm not even worried about it. We have anywhere from 14 to 45 days (I'm not really sure how long she will be there) before the next step. I don't have the energy to worry.

The officer who transported her from Columbia to the courthouse today told our Continuum o' Care rep that Diva claimed to have a good time in kiddie jail last night. She met some new peeps, yo. Am I disturbed by this revelation? I don't know how I feel about it. I didn't expect this, but am not surprised. No, mostly I'm sad.

She was pretty upset after court though. We got to hug her and say goodbye, and she cried. Her eyes were pretty red when she came into the courtroom, too. We saw her again before the officer left to take her to the crazy kid jail, and she seemed a bit more relaxed. The officers and court personnel were kinda joking with her and the other kid who was going there. They reiterated to these two youngsters how important it is to behave well at the crazy kid jail, because their behavior reflects strongly on their overall evaluation. If they get in trouble there, the judge is less likely to have a happy story for them at the end of their stay.

My chest and back have been sore today where Diva punched me last night. Superman saw the whole thing and says she threw a lot of punches; at least a dozen. I remember it as about four, but my attention was divided and I wasn't trying to keep track. I don't see any bruising, but Superman says my chest has a slight bruise.

I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night, and it's almost midnight again. I'm going to bed now, and will post again over the weekend probably. Twitch's school quarter is finished as of tonight, so I'll drive up to Charlotte to bring him home tomorrow. That's about 5 hours on the road. Good thing I like to drive.

*I don't know the difference between the psychiatric and psychological. The DJJ agent or the public defender asked me if she had both -iatric and -ological diagnoses. I dunno. Guess they'll find out, huh?

I TOLD them it wasn't a good idea make us bring her home

Diva is in jail. Well, in the Department of Juvenile Justice detainment facility, which differs somewhat from jail, but probably not for the purpose of this blog post.

She punched me this evening, at which point I told Superman to call the police. Two officers responded. When the first gal arrived Diva was standing on a chair in her room holding a broom stick (without the brush part attached). Kinda weird, I guess, and the officer asked her why she was standing on the chair. "Because I can." Whatever.

Then a second officer, a young man, showed up. I'm really glad they were both here. She screamed and cussed at them. The guy spoke firmly at her and demanded that she show respect for us, her parents. She essentially laughed in his face, except she wasn't laughing.

Superman refrained from punching her. He was in her personal space with his fist drawn back, but I told him "Don't do it!" He listened. I'm so proud of him. It was difficult for him to resist punching her. She screamed really loudly right in my ear. That hurt. She shoved me a few times, shoved her dad, too. Then when I still wouldn't get out of her room she started swinging punches at me, hitting me in the back and chest. It's almost 1 a.m. now, and this happened around 9 in the evening, and my chest hurts a little bit. It may bruise a bit, but probably not much if at all.

I realize that this report is disjoint. I'm writing what I remember as I think of it, so most if it isn't in the order it occurred.

Both of the officers tried to talk to her and get her to calm down, to no avail. They were in her room with her, Superman and I were in the living room, next to her room. Her room is the first one off the hall, just past the living room, so we were very close. But we'd stepped out of her room when the female officer suggested Diva might calm down and talk to her if we weren't right there. She didn't.

Both of the officers stepped out of her room to talk to us, and Diva stormed out of her room and out the front door. The male officer asked us if she was allowed to go outside, and I said no, she needs to be inside now. She was still carrying the broom stick. He went out to tell her to come inside. She refused (with profanities) so he took her by the arm to lead her back in. She exploded, and hit him with the broomstick. And maybe with her fists, I'm not sure. They were on the other side of the truck in the driveway and it was dark, so I couldn't see what happened. She did beat on him, though, and he filed an assault charge on her for assaulting an officer. I filed one, too, and they also charged her with resisting arrest. It took both of the officers to wrestle her to the ground to put handcuffs on her. Then they led her to the patrol car. The female officer stayed with her at the car trying to talk to her, and ended up putting her in a choke hold or something (I was a bit unclear on the details) to get her to calm down and shut up.

The male officer, after being assaulted by this mouthy 13 year old, called his captain to ask about putting her in custody tonight. There isn't anyplace near here to lock up juveniles. As far as I know, the only juvenile detention facility is in Columbia, the state capital. It's not quite two hours from here. There's a county jail here, of course, but they don't put juveniles there. Thankfully. As much as I think she needs to be locked up (or detained somehow) I really don't want her in jail with adults, even overnight.

They drove Diva away from home in handcuffs in the back of a police patrol car. I had to go downtown to the station to talk to a woman from the county DJJ (Department of Juvenile Justice) before they could take her to kiddie jail. I sat there in the captain's office with the captain, the female officer, and Diva. By then Diva was subdued and had that far-away "nobody's home" look in her eyes. She was there maybe 15 minutes before I got there, and the captain told me that she was totally unresponsive when they tried to get any information from her.

Poor Superman was a basket case. Sproing has been acting up a lot lately, being strongly oppositional (but not violent to people... he damages property, but hasn't hit anyone around here) and loud and sassy. It's been bad. Superman has been on the edge of a nervous breakdown for a few days now. He didn't look so good this evening. Before I went to the police station I gave him a dose of his benzodiazepine. Our therapist told our doctor to prescribe some for him but he never took any. He did get the script filled, though, and I'm glad he did. 'Cause he needed it tonight! FYI, (from Wikipedia)

Benzodiazepines enhance the effect of the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which results in sedative, hypnotic (sleep-inducing), anxiolytic (anti-anxiety), anticonvulsant, muscle relaxant and amnesic action.^[2] These properties make benzodiazepines useful in treating anxiety, insomnia, agitation, seizures, muscle spasms...

I was gone for about an hour or so, and when I got home Superman was still awake, but he was r-e-l-a-x-e-d. He'd been trying to read my previous post, but kept reading the same sentence over and over. He's funny when he's high. What with the amnesic action of the Lorazepam he probably won't remember much if anything of what we talked about tonight. He will undoubtedly remember The Diva Show, though. That's hard to forget.

The next step for her is to go before a judge. Juvenile Court is being held in an adjoining county tomorrow*, but I don't know yet if she will be on the docket. If she doesn't go to court tomorrow she'll go Monday. No Juvie Court on Friday. I'd rather they waited until Monday. I think it will do her good (?) to cool her heels in kiddie jail for a long weekend. Perhaps it'll teach her a lesson. She has no clue how good she's had it here. She thinks we're horrible restrictive parents. HA! Our main faults are being too lenient. The kid needs an education.

I don't know what's to become of her. Once a kid hits the DJJ system it's really easy to go there again. (This is my hypothesis, anyway.) The first time handcuffed in the back of a patrol car is hard. The second time is easier. Etc. I wish it didn't turn out this way. I wish she'd taken to the psychiatric intervention we tried. I don't know now if she'll stay in juvenile detention or will go to another psychiatric placement, or maybe to a children's home of some kind. I don't know. I really really really really hope they don't try to send her back home. I told the arresting officers, the police captain, and the woman from DJJ that I fear for my safety and the safety of the rest of the family with her in the house. You know, she threatened to kill us about 1.5 years ago. I won't forget that. She was wild crazy mad tonight. When Superman was in her face with his fist cocked she showed absolutely no fear, no sense of hesitation at all. She'd have tried to knock his block off if he'd stayed that close for long. She ain't right.

*Technically today, but since I haven't been to bed yet, my brain still thinks it's Wednesday.

Gay Marriage

I read this great article on a blog from a heterosexual father of three supporting gay marriage. I recommend you visit his blog. In the meantime, I'm posting this diagram from the article.

General update and a quote

This was the quote in today's A.Word.A.Day offering. Is this significant to my life today?

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. -Peter Drucker, management consultant, professor, and writer (1909-2005)

I discovered a website of gay stories. I was up until, um... (shhh - 5:00 this morning)(don't tell Superman) ... pretty late reading one of the stories. It was good, sure. But why do I do this to myself? Why do I sabotage my health and sanity with behaviors like this?

Superman and I were just talking about the stress in our lives. Their names are Sproing, Diva, and Money. Oh, and the repairs and remodel "we" (mostly he) is/are doing on the house and yard. We want to move, but the house and yard need a lot of work to get it into sellable condition.

I'm really too tired to think about it much. I'd get too upset if I tried, so I'm going to ignore it for now. And go to bed early tonight (I hope!).

Superman says he feels like he's on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I had me another mini-breakdown Sunday after Sproing acted like... well, Sproing. I'm worried about Superman, though.

My brain isn't working well. Too tired. I will go to my Art History class in an hour, then meet with my academic advisor about finishing up my research project. We might be going in a different direction now, actually. I want to tell you about it, but I'm too tired. Briefly (really this time!) I'm looking into the possibility of starting a gay-lesbian-bi-transgender support group and/or community center for my course project. This may just be an empty exercise for the experience and a grade, or perhaps I will find enough support for the thing to really get off the ground. At any rate I'd like to start a PFLAG chapter. Of course there isn't one in Greenwood. According to the PFLAG website, there are five chapters in South Carolina: Greenville, Spartanburg, Columbia, Myrtle Beach, and Charleston. The closest to us is Greenville, about an hour north of Greenwood. I've been to that one a few times, but the travel distance precludes much involvement. We need one in Greenwood, imho.

And I'm rambling again. It's what I do when I'm tired. Also what I do when I'm not tired, but more so when I'm tired. Like now. This is a perfect example of rambling.

Oh, shut up Java. Post this thing and go to school already.

It's Wednesday

Interesting quote of the day:

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. -Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)

The weather has finally gotten nice. The sky was partly cloudy today and temps were only in the 70s (24 C, + or - about 3 degrees). If we have a few more of these days in a row perhaps our "cold" water will get cold. For months now the water running from the cold water tap has been tepid. It's a bit too cool for a bath, definitely too warm to cool anything off (like my hot hands).

So the day is beautiful but I'm depressed. I dunno why. I don't care about much, and have been tired all day. I only took one nap, though, so that's good. I wanted to take another one this afternoon, but the kids got home from school and started fighting with each other so that kinda nixed my nap idea. They got into a shouting/shoving match, then Diva and I argued with each other for a while. Sounds like fun, no? I sent them both to their rooms, and Sproing came out 15 minutes later with a decent attitude. She had a pissy attitude the rest of the afternoon. She's gone to church (it's a social thing, I seriously doubt there's any spirituality involved) but will no doubt still be pissy when she gets home. Hell, I'm still pissy, so that won't help matters, will it? Perhaps Superman can run interference so she and I won't have to interact.

Superman bought a truck, as I may have mentioned. We went to Charlotte last evening to get it. It's a champagne color, extended cab F-250. I haven't driven it yet. Frankly I'm not in the mood to. Superman said last night that now we need to sell Manny, "of course" he says. He wants to transfer the license plate from Manny to his new truck, meaning of course that Manny is dead to him. He'll also drop Manny's coverage when he insures his new truck.

I don't know why I am so in love with that truck. It's a piece of junk, seriously, and not very safe to drive anymore. Lots of stuff doesn't work. I suppose it represents something to me. Too tired and depressed (or perhaps afraid) to figure out what.

My Mama had a heart catheterization today. She's been very tired and short of breath recently. The doctor found a very small blockage in a small branch of an artery, the same he saw when they did this a year or two ago. It hasn't changed, and the surgery to correct it is more risky than leaving it alone. She's also retaining fluid, and has been on diuretics for many moons. The fluid retention is better than it has been, but she'll continue with the diuretics. All in all things are fine. Doc says he would like her to get more exercise, but she's got some nasty arthritis in her back that is causing lots of pain. So, obviously, water aerobics! My dear brother, the Favorite Uncle with the motorcycle, is staying with her tonight to make sure she's OK. He spent the day with her, too. I'm glad he lives close enough to be able to do that. He's in the Daytona Beach area, less than an hour (if traffic isn't too bad on I-4) from Mama in NE Orlando area.

That's all I got, folks.

Life goes on

I feel detached from myself. Almost like I'm looking at my life from the outside, but not quite. I don't know who I am. All of a sudden I showed up in this strange life and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. It's a mild dissociation, and I'm sure it'll pass. I think the imminent change of season might have something to do with it. I often get disoriented in the early fall and early spring.

Although I'm waiting for fall to get here and she isn't in any hurry. It is still hot hot hot here. And dry. We need rain. Looks like we'll get some from the tropical system that was lately in the Gulf o' Mexico. (Can't remember what they named it.)

I went to the fabric store this afternoon. That's always fun. I want to make a warm winter coat for Light, so was looking through the pattern books. I found ONE pattern for a nice long lined coat. I was able to get the interfacing, lining, and shoulder pads for the coat, but not the outer fabric. The store had a hunk of thick wool fabric that I liked, but didn't have quite enough. The coat requires 6.25 yards and there were only 5-and-a-little-bit yards on the bolt at the store. But Superman, who like a super man went to the fabric store with me, mentioned that we will be in the Charlotte area in a couple of days and can go to Mary Jo's Cloth Store! Yippee!! I love that place. They have tons of fabric, practically anything anyone needs. Or wants.

Twitch is home for the holiday weekend. I drove up to Charlotte and brought him home Thursday evening. Loads of fun. School is closed for Labor Day, and he doesn't have any Tuesday classes. Cool, huh? We will take him back home Tuesday night. But yesterday he went with Superman and Sproing to the Charlotte area, because of course he's home for a long weekend break, so he had to go back to Charlotte for the day. Whatever.

But, there's a good reason they went to Charlotte. Superman is in the market for a new pickup truck. They found one! We will go back Tuesday after Superman has a chance to go to the credit union for the $$s. He's been approved for a car loan, but hadn't found a car yet, you know how that goes. Anyway, he found a pickup he likes. It's an F-250 with a 5.4L V8 with tow package. Extended cab, so it has a small back seat, not a full 4 door crew cab. He says it has a large bed, plenty for carrying all manner of cargo. I'm all excited.

I am sort of taking a class this semester. Classes started last Thursday. I am sitting in on an art history class, and so far I really like it. Absolutely love the professor. I've met him, but never took a class with him. He's an old guy who keeps talking about retiring, but hasn't yet. Many people have told me I should take at least one of his classes. The class I'm in covers the Renaissance and Baroque, or maybe Rococo. I haven't a clue about the time lines for those periods, though I will by the end of the course.

It seems like there's something else I should tell you, but I can't think what it is. If I think of it, perhaps I'll add it later. Or make a new post.