**Never a dull moment around here. Unfortunately. Oh, for some of it I am grateful, but for some I'd like it to stop. Just stop. And go away.
We'll start with Diva. Of course. The short story: Superman got both of the youngsters phones a few weeks ago. Sproing, it's a good idea for him to have a phone. Diva not so much. Not much at all. And I told him this, but he proceeded. She had the phone for maybe a week before she sent and received sexually explicit texts. She was exchanging texts with some guy I'd never heard of. On the advice of her former probation officer (she's off probation now, but this lady is a good resource) I called the police. That's the end of the short story, but I want to tell you more, so the next paragraph will be more and you can skip it if you'd like.
The police officer saw the questionable photos (there was some video she'd taken of herself, too. Ick.) and wondered about the age of the young man who'd sent a way-too-complete picture of himself. All this took place on the kids' last day of school, last Wednesday. The officer took the phone and a copy of our rules for cell phone use* to the school to talk to Diva. Hee hee. It was "field day" at school, all the kids were outside or in the gym doing fun activities, etc. The officer (he told me later) went in and had a teacher call out Diva, and he and Diva had a little talk. When he brought the cell phone back he told me she was spitting mad. I suspected she would be. I had told him of her previous run-in with the law in which she assaulted me, so he warned her not to take this out on us physically. If he heard about her attacking me (or Superman) he'd come and haul her to jail. By the time she got home from school (about two hours later) she had calmed down to the point that she didn't want to interact with us at all, which was fine with me. She spent the afternoon in her room. Later that afternoon I heard back from the officer that the young man she'd been texting may be older than he looked. The next day a detective came by and we discussed that briefly. The stupid idiot may be an adult, if he's the one they suspect. The detective said that maybe nothing will come of it, as Diva and the old-enough-to-know-better SOB didn't actually hook up. I allowed as how I didn't necessarily want him to get in trouble, but a good scare would do him a world of good. One of Diva's messages to him asked if he was going to "come over and fuck me next week."
So Diva no longer has her phone. She will not be getting it back any time within the foreseeable future. And I can foresee a pretty long way.
Poor Superman. He wants for his daughter to be a normal, sweet, fun-loving girl. And he pretends she is, which is where trouble starts. I told him yesterday (after yet another major inconvenience but not-quite-disaster of her making) that he has got to stop pretending she is normal. It leads to trouble. Though yesterday's mishap was partly Superman's doing. He was treating her as a normal child and allowed her too much leeway. He tries so hard. Unfortunately she is NOT normal, and his attempts often go the wrong way. Sigh
Let's move on to other drama that has nothing to do with Diva.
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Both of my gay children, C and Light, are currently in relationships but it's complicated. Light has been engaged to her girlfriend for little over a year, I think, but now that Light is at school in Pennsylvania the relationship is long-distance. And the girlfriend isn't a good communicator under the best of circumstances. They recently dissolved their engagement, but are still together, sort of. You know, it's complicated. And my dear darling Light is hurting. This is hard on her. I wish I could make it better, but I can't. And this sort of experience is necessary for personal growth, so I must not try to fix anything. I just sympathize, and hurt for her pain.
C has been involved in this pseudo-relationship thing for a few months now. There's this ... boy, really. He just turned 18 in December. C sort of fell in love with him. I told you about him before, called him The Youngster, I think. But The Youngster isn't in love with C, and has been up front about that all along. He likes C, but only as a friend. Well, until recently C and The Youngster had been hanging out together a lot for the past couple of months, but The Youngster went back to his mom's house to help her out. Since then his communications with C have gradually become less frequent and less ... intimate might be too strong a word. C senses that The Youngster is pulling back. I think (for what it's worth) that C has been too solicitous, done too many sweet loving sacrificial things for this kid. It's like he's trying to make The Youngster love him. That does NOT work! And it's a lesson C has to learn for himself. Yesterday was C's 24th birthday. He needs to make friends with people his own age. And The Youngster is from troubled circumstances with associated emotional difficulties, etc. As my therapist said, If they're broken when you pick them up, they are going to stay broken. (Or something like that.) The same applies to falling for drunks and abusers, which happens all the time. I want better for C. He needs to want better for himself. The Youngster is a nice kid. I like him. But he is not a good match for C. IMHO, he has a lot of growing up to do before he is ready for a serious relationship.
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Light's had a rough time of it recently. Her cat got away. He was an inside-outside cat when he lived here, but has been exclusively inside since they moved to Pennsylvania last August. Last Monday Light took out the garbage and the cat snuck out. She didn't realize he was gone until he did not wake her up by sticking his nose in her face Tuesday morning. She's looked around the neighborhood, left food on the porch for him, made "lost" signs, etc. but so far he hasn't returned. She is sad.
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I think I broke my toe Friday evening. I was walking through the dark house and stubbed my right pinkie toe on the leg of a chair. I hit it HARD! Yeah, it hurt. And it kept hurting. It hurt all night Friday. I took some ersatz Tylenol PM before bed Friday and slept pretty well despite the pain, but it hurt in my dreams, if you know what I mean. The damn thing hurt all day yesterday, too. It hurts to put weight on that side of my foot. The foot is swollen top and bottom, and the toe itself is fat and black and blue. I had Superman draw a circle around the bruise last night, and sure enough, the bruise has spread since then. I think bruises do that, though. Anyway, it hurt last night, too, and today it hurts, but not as much. Well, not as much if I don't try to move it. I have stayed off of it and kept it elevated all weekend. (translation: I've been lying around on my ass all weekend.) Didn't hurt too bad when I stood on it this morning at first, but after a little while it hurt more again, so I sat down. I watched the Braves beat the Nationals 3-2 this afternoon. That was fun. I've been putzing around on the computer all weekend, too.
I'll probably try to get in to see the doctor tomorrow. There's nothing to be done for a broken pinkie toe anyway. They might buddy tape it to the next toe to try to keep it stationary. Of course I could do that myself, but right now I'm just lying on my lazy ass not moving anything anyway. I have a Netflix instant-view movie booted up to watch after my haircut which I'll get after I post this.
Yeah, Superman is going to buzz my hair again with the 1" guard on his hair clippers. The hair has gotten long enough to hold in the heat. It's hot here in The South, so I'm going to shave my head. Well, shave plus 1". It looks pretty butch, but not terribly weird.
Oh, in other gender-bending news, some junkie bum called me "sir" a couple of weeks ago. I went to Baltimore (again) to be with Indigo after his mother died. Had a good trip. It was helpful, productive, and the right thing to do. But I had a bit of trouble getting out of downtown Baltimore onto the freeway toward Washington, and drove in circles around the junkie bum areas for half an hour or so. Some guy wanted me to give him money, and called me "sir" when asking. I told him no, but got a kick out of his perception.
OK, on to the haircutting. Ta ta for now (ttfn).
*GROUND RULES FOR CELL PHONES
1. Cell
phone use is a privilege, not a right.
As such, it can be withheld under some circumstances.
2. The
phones belong to the parents. We
supplied them and we are paying for them.
3. The
phones are to be used for reasonable
communication only. No explicit,
harmful, or illegal use of the phone will be tolerated. That means do not talk or text anything
that is sexual. Do not make threats to anyone by text or talk. Don’t use the
phone to bully anyone. Don’t talk or text anything that is illegal. For
example, don’t try to hook up with someone for sex, don’t talk or text about
buying, selling, or taking drugs or alcohol. If the phone is used to make such calls or
send such messages, it will be taken and kept for a period of a few days up to
several weeks. Getting it back will
depend on:
a. How
bad the message was;
b. How
many were sent;
c. What
kind of fallout there was from the message;
d. Whether
this was a first offense;
e. How
you behave while the phone is off-limits.
4. The
phones will be turned over to parents at bedtime each night.
5. On
school days, the phones will be available as soon as you arrive home each
afternoon. On the weekend and school
vacations the phones will be available after 9:00 a.m.
6. You
will be expected to take the phone with you if you leave the house after coming
home from school. Being able to contact
you at our convenience is a major consideration for getting the phones in the
first place. Do
not ignore calls from your parents! You must answer the phone when we call you!
7. You
will NOT allow other children to use your phone. If a friend needs to get in touch with another
person, and you decide that is all right, YOU will make the call for your
friend. Having you in control of the
phone will make sure that someone else does not send inappropriate messages
using your number. Keep in mind that
there are legal issues involved.
8. Please
also understand that T-Mobile keeps records of all text messages sent for a
period of up to 90 days. So if we want
to find out what you texted, erasing it from the phone will not help to conceal
it. So don’t bother to erase messages.
9. DO
NOT MISUSE YOUR PHONE!
We read through this with both kids and had each of them sign our copy, agreeing that they read and understand the rules. And Diva abuses the privilege the second week she had the phone. Oy.
** If you haven't seen "How to Train Your Dragon" you must do so at your earliest convenience.
