How to tell your loved ones that you've been in a car crash

1. Wait at least three hours after the wreck to talk to any of them, if possible. Unless you are badly injured, you usually have a pretty good handle on things after three or four hours and have the answers to the questions you know they will ask.

2. When you call, ask the loved one questions about his or her life. "How is school going for you this term?" "Did you finish that project you were doing at work?" Let the loved one talk about him/her self for a few minutes.

3. Ease into it:"Well, honey, I've spent longer in Lewisburg, WV  than I originally intended." 

4. Obfuscate if necessary: "I have unwittingly participated in your vehicle replacement program*." 


5. Once the loved one in question realizes what you mean, begin to repeat "I'm OK. I'm fine. Just a couple of bumps and bruises. No, really, I'm fine. Yes, they checked me over at the hospital. Yes, really, I'm fine." 


6. Lovingly cut the conversation short. The loved one needs time to process the information. Call him or her back in half an hour or so and repeat most of the facts you already told him/her in the previous call, because he/she asked, but was too freaked out to hear your answers. 




Some of the facts:
On Friday morning, 20 July 2012, at approximately 10:00 I was driving on US Highway 60 in West Virginia.  It's very mountainous terrain, lots of curves in the road (the kind of road I love to drive!) and it was raining. In the area they call Clintonville I took a curve a bit too fast for conditions. I thought I was OK, but the curve in the road got much sharper once it passed the rock wall that hid the road ahead. Also, the slope of the road got steeper as the curve got sharper. I lost control of the car (the little Aveo) and it slid toward a narrow ditch and slammed into the embankment on the other side of the ditch. As happens with these things, it all went very fast. The car hit the earth on the left front corner. No air bag deployed. I could open the doors just fine. No glass broke.  The car was at a sharp angle, leaning to the right. Rather than climb up out of the driver's side, I slid down and out of the passenger side, but not immediately.

I found my glasses first. They'd been thrown off my face and were on the down side of the front seat area, resting neatly on a towel. Then I got my phone and called 9-1-1. I didn't know where I was, though. Knew what highway, knew some of the little towns I had passed, but didn't know exactly where. A short while later a very nice young woman stopped and called 9-1-1 again to tell them where I was. Clintonville, WV. Nondescript from a cityscape point of view. Otherwise very mountainous and absolutely beautiful.

After impact there was lots of smoke/steam coming from under the hood for a few minutes. It didn't enter the cockpit and didn't smell dangerous. (How do I know what "dangerous" smells like? I dunno.) And the smoke cleared soon. So I just stayed in the car for a while. It was raining outside, I was relatively comfortable, I knew I wouldn't be able to get back into the car comfortably, and I was afraid to look at the extent of the damage. So I waited in the car. This nice young woman stopped, then another older man stopped too. I finally got out of the car. They both insisted on waiting with me until the folks with flashing lights on their cars arrived. Both these people were super nice. Actually, everyone I have encountered throughout this whole ordeal has been very friendly and helpful. I'm very impressed with southeast West Virginia.

Briefly on to the next few points: Corporal with the Sheriff's dept. came, interesting local tow truck driver character came, EMTs finally arrived. The tow truck man, Randy, towed the car to his lot. The EMTs took me to the emergency department in their ambulance. Emergency department was super busy for some reason I don't understand. I ended up waiting, being seen, waiting, getting X-rays, waiting, finally seeing the doctor. Was there for 4 hours (which may not be all that long, comparatively, but I hadn't been able to call Superman yet).

It's late now. I have to get up early in the morning, take care of the rest of this business then be on the road home. I will pick up the rest of the story very soon (hopefully!), within the next couple of days. Before the end of the day Tuesday, how 'bout?


* Superman has what I call a vehicle replacement program that I do not endorse. It involves him wrecking a car that we then have to replace. He's done this I think three times in the last 15 or so years. Twice the accidents were not his fault. But still...