'Tis past time for another post

And there is so much going on that I'd like to discuss. Actually, so much has happened in the last three months that I'm having trouble sorting it out to write about it.

Therefore, random thoughts:

I broke my toe on June 1st. Baby toe, right foot, by stubbing it on a chair leg. Sucker hurt for two months, but has healed now and no longer hurts when I twist the toe. Cutting that toenail was a bitch for a while.

I wrecked the car on the 20th of July in Clintonville, West Virginia. Clintonville is a wide spot in the road due east of Sam Black Church, West Virginia. Yep, the name of the hamlet/village/whistle-stop is Sam Black Church. That amuses me.

On the 20th of August the kids started the new school year. Praise all the possible gods. Much of July I spent trying to avoid my children. Took Sproing on a road trip to separate him and Diva. Left him with Light in Pennsylvania to get away from him. (Unfortunately, escaping from my kids also involved escaping from my husband, which I don't want to do. It was so good to get back with him.) Now that they are in school or en route from 7:30 til after 4:00, my life is much more peaceful. Though I dread the school bus bringing them home in the afternoon. Afternoons and evenings are long and tedious.

The week before school started was very difficult, children-wise. Well, mostly Diva. On Tuesday she shoved me into a wall and called me a 'ho. I called the police. On Thursday she attacked Superman, kicking and scratching and pulling at him. I called the police. When the police come out, we file complaints against her which are turned over to Dept. of Juvenile Justice (DJJ) who in turn send it to the solicitor's office. We've yet to see anything done in response to these complaints. I'm about ready for her to go to jail.

But since school started a week ago she's been fine. No fighting, no arguing, no back-talk, no cursing. She and Sproing are even getting along with each other. It's only a matter of time before she gets all Jerry Springer on us again. I enjoy her cooperative attitude, but I don't trust her. We're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm spent. Emotionally drained. Tired. Unmotivated to do much. There are things I'd like to accomplish around the house, but for the last week all I've done is sit in my chair and surf the internet or watch Netflix movies.

Right now the rest of the family is at home. Superman has a headache and is resting. The kids just washed my truck. I need to go check on that. Then I should do something about supper.

There is much more I want to discuss, stuff like feelings and observations, but that will have to wait for another time. It's time to get off my fat ass and do something useful.

How I got home after crashing my car and being stranded in West Virginia

When we last heard from Java she had successfully completed the day in which she wrecked her car. 

Of course I had talked to Superman quite a few times that day. He decided to drive up and rescue me. That was the only viable option for getting me back home, really. He drove from Greenwood SC to Lewisburg WV on Saturday, arriving at 5:00 p.m. I was SO GLAD to see him! It had been two weeks since I last saw him, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed him. That, I think, is the longest we've been away from each other since we got married 29 years ago. He had it worse, of course, being the one left at home. I always miss him more when I'm the one at home and he's gone on some adventure.

I woke up Saturday morning with a very stiff and sore neck. I expected something like that would happen. My neck and shoulders ached. OTC pain relievers helped a good bit. Since I hadn't been able to poke around downtown Lewisburg as I had planned the day before, I went on down there and had a blast (until my pain reliever wore off). There were a few art galleries, some cute stores, antique shops,  little local restaurants - the kind of thing that makes these small towns so adorable.

I rambled along until I came to an Irish pub called The Irish Pub. It was 2:00, my neck hurt again, and I was hungry. So I got a bowl of red beans and rice (spicy! Superman would have liked it more than I did. I ate it all, though.) and a beer. Because hey, it's a pub. Sat at the bar next to an interesting character. I refer to him as "the stoner." He's supposed to be starting med school in the fall. My prediction is that he won't get far in that endeavor. But I could be wrong. It was interesting dinner conversation, for sure. And let me tell ya', beer is great for a sore neck! That one beer (I was driving or I'd have had two) helped my neck about as much as the pain reliever did. The beneficial effect didn't last as long, though.

I went back to the hotel to wait for Superman. What a sight for sore eyes when he drove up! Oh, I was so glad to be back in his presence. He said pretty much the same thing. He does not do well when we are apart.

I took him back to the The Irish Pub for supper, because damn! They had a live band playing traditional Irish tunes on various stringed instruments and a drum. And Superman tried Bushmills Whiskey. He doesn't drink much liquor. Had tried whiskey before but it was cheap nasty stuff. But someone told him that Bushmills was good, and he had a shot. He says Bushmills is good! I had another beer, but just one because I was driving. We had a really good time.

I talked him into staying an extra day. He originally planned to drive back home Sunday, but I wanted to show him the nifty stuff I'd seen there in West Virginia, and I wanted to spend some quality time with him before returning to all those home responsibilities, you know? So we had a lovely day Sunday and drove home on Monday. This is the first time in, I dunno, more than a decade that he and I have had a few days alone together. Man, it was great! Diva stayed home with C, who didn't supervise her very well and she stayed up until 5 a.m. watching TV. Oh well. Superman and I got to spend some time alone together!

Today Superman and I are driving up to Light's place. Sproing is still there with her, and he needs to come home. She says he's eaten her out of house and home. He's 14. You know. They're getting along well, though. And Light is moving out of her current place. Daddy and Sproing are going to help her move. Mom is going to sit in the air conditioned cafe and drink coffee and surf the interwebs while those other brave souls are moving heavy boxes in the hot summer sun.

Originally the plan was for Superman to go up by himself and me to stay home with the Diva. After being apart for so long, we don't want to be away from each other. So I've engaged a young lady of our acquaintance to stay here with Diva (one who will supervise her better than C does, I think) while the two of us go back to Pennsylvania. And we're taking two days to get up there. It's a lovely, comfortable drive for two days, and a hell of a push for one day. With Sproing along on the return trip we will probably push it in one day.

And that's about all I know for now. And now you know the story of my exciting adventurous vacation.
The End.

Not Tuesday, but here with more of the story

Sorry about the not Tuesday thing. I got distracted. Again. So it's Saturday and I will continue the story about the car crash.

When we left our heroine, the folks with flashy lights on their vehicles had arrived on the scene. The sheriff's representative was tall, kind of broad but not thick, with a blonde crew cut. And was in uniform, which always helps, right? He was very friendly. He was handsome but not Hollywood drop dead gorgeous. Two EMTs arrived in the ambulance. One was a woman (Shirley?) who is even larger than I am. Very nice, too. She drove the ambulance. The other fella, and I can't now remember his name, looked a bit like a Bubba, though clean and professional. He wore a Bubba cap a lot like this one. It may have been camo.  The guy's teeth looked somewhat like Mater's, but more crooked. And he was missing one just right of the front tooth.   
In other words, he looked like what I expected from West Virginia. He was probably 5'10" at the most, and had a nice spare tire around the middle. He was super nice, though, and very professional. He was obviously a lot smarter than my image of a Bubba. We had a lovely chat on the way to the hospital.

Let's see... I had two nurses and a nurse practitioner at the hospital. One of the nurses was a middle aged lady, brunette, who was very friendly (they all were, you know) and looked a lot like a nurse, but with a bright flowery scrub top, not a white uniform. The other nurse was a silver bear of a man with a brush mustache. His hair was white! The nurse practitioner was a very handsome middle aged gent, most distinguished. He had a mustache, too, and his hair was a graying light brown. I didn't see him for very long, and he was standing close to me, poking at my head. I didn't get a really good look at him, though I noticed he was a tall bear.

Finally after all the x-rays and more cups of water and more trips to the bathroom, the doctor showed up. He stood in the doorway, looked at my chart, asked a few questions, and said something like "It's all good." Not exactly like that, of course, but that's the message in a nutshell. This fella, whose name, according to the name on my wrist band as attending physician, was John Johnson, and was smokin' hot! He wore plain green scrubs and was small in stature with slightly curly deep black hair. Are you familiar with Dr. McDreamy? This guy looked similar, but smaller.

So I'd been inspected and declared OK. I could leave the hospital, but go where? Well, I thought, "What would an adult do in this situation?" Time for a rental car. There were a few ladies at the check-in window of the emergency department who were extremely kind and helpful. They informed me of the rental car places at the airport, and called a cab for me. Get this: the name of the cab company is "Cosmic Cab." Duuude! The cab was a minivan, looked pretty normal despite the Cosmic name. So out to the airport, which was tiny! Real airplanes fly in and out! Both United and Delta have service there. The check-in area had maybe three desk thingies, and was separated from the baggage claim area by a set of doors leading out to the tarmac. Quite simple. Quaint, even. But I was there for a car, not a plane ride. I had called ahead to make sure an agent was there and had a car available. Didn't want to pay for a ride to the airport for nothing. Wasn't that responsible adult of me?

So I did the rental car thing, got a Toyota Camry. It's a much nicer car than the Chevrolet Aveo, let me tell ya. The trunk is almost big enough for the Aveo to fit in, and the Camry is not a large car. I drove out to the middle of nowhere to the tow truck guy's place and he helped me move my junk into the Camry. Then we stood in his driveway for an hour and chatted. He's an interesting character, and lots of fun to talk to. Not a particularly handsome guy. He looks like a tow truck driver. But super friendly.

I drove back into Lewisburg to get a motel room. Went into the cheap-but-not-desperate place and asked "Do you have a room?" and he said "Nope." Oops. Really? Really. There is one exit off the interstate for Lewisburg and of course all the hotel/motel chains are right there. If he's full, probably every other hotel is full, too. He confirmed this. Then I told him my sad tale of being in a car crash earlier that day, being stranded in town and not knowing anyone, etc. He ended up giving me a room that was reserved for someone who didn't come in. Or something. I don't know how these things work, but I suspect he had a couple of rooms available that he was holding back for, what? A better offer? Anyway, I got a room. And then I finally went to supper. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, when I fixed myself scrambled egg with tomato, mushroom, and onion and a few pieces of toast with apple butter before I checked out of the cabin. Remember how this day started at the rustic one-room cabin in the state park? It was a really long day. And I needed food.

The room key card was also a 10% off coupon for the Applebee's down the road. Boo-yah! Shrimp fettuccine here I come! I changed clothes before going to dinner, and made such a mess of my shirt with the fettuccine that I couldn't wear it again before washing it. Oy.

Then I went back to the room and finally went to bed. It was a very long day.

But wait, how did I get back home to South Carolina? The rental car was not a one-way rental, and I wasn't supposed to leave the state. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode in Java's dramatic vacation!

P.S. Ur-Spo, I didn't think about this as a blog post until I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. "My first view of Lewisburg was from the back of an ambulance."

How to tell your loved ones that you've been in a car crash

1. Wait at least three hours after the wreck to talk to any of them, if possible. Unless you are badly injured, you usually have a pretty good handle on things after three or four hours and have the answers to the questions you know they will ask.

2. When you call, ask the loved one questions about his or her life. "How is school going for you this term?" "Did you finish that project you were doing at work?" Let the loved one talk about him/her self for a few minutes.

3. Ease into it:"Well, honey, I've spent longer in Lewisburg, WV  than I originally intended." 

4. Obfuscate if necessary: "I have unwittingly participated in your vehicle replacement program*." 


5. Once the loved one in question realizes what you mean, begin to repeat "I'm OK. I'm fine. Just a couple of bumps and bruises. No, really, I'm fine. Yes, they checked me over at the hospital. Yes, really, I'm fine." 


6. Lovingly cut the conversation short. The loved one needs time to process the information. Call him or her back in half an hour or so and repeat most of the facts you already told him/her in the previous call, because he/she asked, but was too freaked out to hear your answers. 




Some of the facts:
On Friday morning, 20 July 2012, at approximately 10:00 I was driving on US Highway 60 in West Virginia.  It's very mountainous terrain, lots of curves in the road (the kind of road I love to drive!) and it was raining. In the area they call Clintonville I took a curve a bit too fast for conditions. I thought I was OK, but the curve in the road got much sharper once it passed the rock wall that hid the road ahead. Also, the slope of the road got steeper as the curve got sharper. I lost control of the car (the little Aveo) and it slid toward a narrow ditch and slammed into the embankment on the other side of the ditch. As happens with these things, it all went very fast. The car hit the earth on the left front corner. No air bag deployed. I could open the doors just fine. No glass broke.  The car was at a sharp angle, leaning to the right. Rather than climb up out of the driver's side, I slid down and out of the passenger side, but not immediately.

I found my glasses first. They'd been thrown off my face and were on the down side of the front seat area, resting neatly on a towel. Then I got my phone and called 9-1-1. I didn't know where I was, though. Knew what highway, knew some of the little towns I had passed, but didn't know exactly where. A short while later a very nice young woman stopped and called 9-1-1 again to tell them where I was. Clintonville, WV. Nondescript from a cityscape point of view. Otherwise very mountainous and absolutely beautiful.

After impact there was lots of smoke/steam coming from under the hood for a few minutes. It didn't enter the cockpit and didn't smell dangerous. (How do I know what "dangerous" smells like? I dunno.) And the smoke cleared soon. So I just stayed in the car for a while. It was raining outside, I was relatively comfortable, I knew I wouldn't be able to get back into the car comfortably, and I was afraid to look at the extent of the damage. So I waited in the car. This nice young woman stopped, then another older man stopped too. I finally got out of the car. They both insisted on waiting with me until the folks with flashing lights on their cars arrived. Both these people were super nice. Actually, everyone I have encountered throughout this whole ordeal has been very friendly and helpful. I'm very impressed with southeast West Virginia.

Briefly on to the next few points: Corporal with the Sheriff's dept. came, interesting local tow truck driver character came, EMTs finally arrived. The tow truck man, Randy, towed the car to his lot. The EMTs took me to the emergency department in their ambulance. Emergency department was super busy for some reason I don't understand. I ended up waiting, being seen, waiting, getting X-rays, waiting, finally seeing the doctor. Was there for 4 hours (which may not be all that long, comparatively, but I hadn't been able to call Superman yet).

It's late now. I have to get up early in the morning, take care of the rest of this business then be on the road home. I will pick up the rest of the story very soon (hopefully!), within the next couple of days. Before the end of the day Tuesday, how 'bout?


* Superman has what I call a vehicle replacement program that I do not endorse. It involves him wrecking a car that we then have to replace. He's done this I think three times in the last 15 or so years. Twice the accidents were not his fault. But still...

Long distance mothering

…sucks.

I was just reading Cowbell's blog. Her latest post details her college age daughter being very sick and on the other side of the continent. That's hard on everyone.

But I bring it up because Light called us tonight. Crying. She asked if I'd gotten her email. I'd turned off the computer to take a nap earlier and hadn't gotten back online, so no, I'd not seen the email. Did I need to look at it now? Light? You still there? "..sniff, snuff, Just a minute… sniff." Superman had the computer and was guarding it jealously. Poor guy. He doesn't get much chance at the 'puter cause I bogart it so much. But I said to him "I need to check my email. Now."

"Now? You mean immediately? Can't it wait?"

"NOW. It is very important." And I go back to making soothing mommy noises into the phone. He gets the point.

One of Light's best friends was in a terrible car wreck early this morning. He is in neural intensive care with lots of broken stuff, including at least one place in his back, possibly two. Well, here's part of the email she sent me:

He is in the Neural Intensive Care Unit at ___________ Memorial. He has a broken bone in his neck, his lower spine is broken, he has internal bleeding, his kidney and spleen are badly bruised, he has cracked ribs, is not fully coherent, and is having much difficulty breathing. They have inserted an oxygen tube down his throat, but one lung is badly damaged and may possibly collapse. Right now he does not appear to have any paralyzation.

He will need several operations, however they are currently postponed until his lung shows signs of being able to withstand them.

She is obviously upset. I know this young man. His family lives around the corner from us in our subdivision. He's been to our home many times. I'm upset, too.

I am worried about his condition, of course. This might prove fatal. God I hope not. Though I don't really know his parents, I am concerned for them.

I am concerned for Light. This is her first experience with grief of this nature. No one close to her has ever been injured or killed or died or anything. Of course this is part of life, and she will encounter trouble like this off and on throughout her life. She needs to know how to handle it. That doesn't make it easier for her or for me and her dad.

I am a mother. Things like this happen and I immediately think "what if it happens to my child?" My stomach lurches, my head spins. Get a grip, mama. Breathe. Keep your head on straight. Guiltily, I am so very relieved it is her friend, not her lying in intensive care, coma induced by the doctors, fighting for life.

Light is a freshman at a college in state, only an hour and a half away. We can be there soon if we need to be. This is somewhat comforting. And I sympathize with Cowbell who cannot drive for an hour or so to take care of her very sick baby girl.

Parenting is joy. Parenting is grief. Parenting is hard.