Filipedulous

filipendulous
Pronunciation: (fi-li-PEN-juh-luhs, -PEN-dyoo-)
Meaning: adjective: Hanging by a thread.
Etymology:  From Latin filum (thread) + pendere (to hang). Ultimately from the Indo-European root (s)pen- (to draw, to spin), which is also the source of pendulum, spider, pound, pansy, pendant, ponder, appendix, penthouse, depend, and spontaneous. Earliest documented use: 1864.

This is the A.Word.A.Day word in my inbox this morning. How very appropriate.

Perhaps I've been navel gazing a bit too much. Or perhaps my life is currently in the shitter. Or a combination of both. 

I'm not a fun person to be around these days. And I'm afraid I may have inadvertently insulted a friend. That hurts as much as anything else going wrong in my life right now. 

Never mind. Move along. Nothing to see here, folks.

Maybe I need some lolcats therapy. 

'Twas a couple o' days before Christmas...

Feeling groovy. Ish. I'm not taking the high power pain meds anymore after my hernia surgery. Today I was finally able to take the bandages off the incision site. It doesn't so much hurt as itch like a sonofabitch. The area was covered with a gauze bandage and stuck on with one of those large pieces of clear plastic adhesive stuff. Superman called it a "plaster" and says the entire English speaking world calls that a plaster except the U.S. Anyway, I've had that adhesive stuck to my belly for six days. The skin doesn't like that foolishness. Now the whole area itches. I've got dissolving stitches covered by steri-strip bandages. Those will come off on their own, says the doctor. That part itches, too, but the worst is the freshly released skin all around my navel. I'd rather it itch than hurt, though. Being off the hydrocodone, eating real food, and taking a bit of laxative has helped the bowels behave better.  And as you know, a happy bowel contributes much toward general happiness.





Light and Twitch are home now. It was wonderful; Light stopped in Charlotte to see Twitch, and decided to bring him home so neither Superman nor I had to drive to get him. She's a good kid. That was Friday. She stayed the night (we took her and Twitch out to our favorite pizza and beer place) and left early Saturday morning for Charleston, where she met up with a good friend and went to the wedding of a friend of that friend. They stayed in Charleston last night and came home today. Tonight she and her friend and another good friend of theirs, all good buddies from high school, have gone out to the drive-in theater to see "The Hobbit." This was a picture the middle one put on her Facebork page tonight celebrating the reunion of these particular three musketeers. Light is on the right, the one with the biggest silly grin. :-)

(Warning: boring paragraph about cooking follows)
I'm back in the kitchen again. Haven't done much cooking since last weekend. Last night I fixed my favorite macaroni and cheese recipe, double-and-a-half, to make enough for this big hungry crowd. It was well received. Today I started some red sauce for lasagna, but never got around to putting together the lasagna. Perhaps that will be our Christmas Eve dinner. C made some red sauce to go with some penne for a late lunch for him and his he-wishes-he-was-his-boyfriend-but-right-now-they're-"just-friends" and I added his leftovers to my pot of stuff. I haven't tasted it yet, but I suspect it will be wunnerful. There are stealth vegetables in the sauce. I processed some carrots to just shy of puree and added them to the sauce. That might add a hint of sweetness, too. There's no way I'll ever be able to replicate that sauce.

Also, I baked some more bread. And I'll be making stuffing (or do you call it dressing?) to go with the turkey for Christmas dinner using a variety of breads. I'm getting excited about doing stuff again. For the last couple of weeks my give-a-shit has been hobbled. For the next week or two (or three?) I'm limited in how much weight I can lift. Five pounds. That's it. Do you now how many things in the kitchen weigh more than five pounds? My favorite cast iron skillet, for one. And the food processor. (Full disclosure: Superman actually  ran the carrots through the processor.) (He also scraped them into the sauce pot because if he does it all the carrot pieces get into the pot. If I do it a lot of carrot bits are randomly strewn around the stove top. And beside the stove. And probably other unlikely places.)

If there was more I intended to say I have since forgotten it. I could regale you with recent infractions of the law perpetrated by Sproing and/or Diva's trouble with her big mouth as relates to staying at school. A lot of that kind of shit happened while I was on my blogging sabbatical. It was depressing, and I didn't want to talk about it. It's merry happy holiday time now and I don't want to talk about it. And since I can't remember what else I was going to say, I guess I'll stop now. This rambling has gone on long enough for one post.

Road Trip Log: Days 5 and 6

Total miles from Day 5: 1599

Total miles from Day 6: 1673 (if memory serves)

So much to say! Saturday (Day 5) we spent out on Cape Cod with Greg. I had a fantastic time! As Greg has mentioned, it was like meeting an old friend for the first time. We drove around the Cape's elbow a little bit, saw both shores. It's so beautiful out there! The weather was warm and sunny, but the breezes were very comfortable. It's hot, but not as hot as South Carolina, thankfully.

We went out to eat at a lovely little place (can't remember the name) that served delicious food. I had The Best French toast I've ever eaten, made with croissants. Who'd a' thunk?

Much of our time with Greg we spent in The Nest, talking and laughing and realizing how a friendship built through online interactions can be pretty damn close. The possibilities are amazing. Both Greg and his home (and his beautiful kitty) are most welcoming. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

C and I had reservations for Saturday night at another Motel Sixth-Circle-of-Hell. Foolish, I know. It felt kind of creepy. When I talked to Superman last night I told him that I really didn't feel comfortable there. When we were in Taunton on Friday night we stayed in a much nicer place, the Inn of Holidays. Superman and I discussed perhaps finding a nicer place here near Salem. This morning C and I scoped out the Inn of Comfort just up the road, and lo and behold, it's quite nice! Not quite as swanky as the place in Taunton, but very comfortable. And there's art on the walls! So we made reservations for the next couple of nights, then went back to the dregs and checked out. Yay! We're are much more comfortable now, in a few different respects.

Here's the rest of the Day 6 report.

After checking out of the Sixth-Circle-of-Hell, we drove around for a while looking for a likely breakfast spot. We never found one. I ended up wandering into Boston. We had plans to meet up with RG at noon (he has already posted his account of our day). I had gotten directions from here to there from the Google Maps magician and emailed them to C, but he didn't have his computer out yet as we wandered into the big city. After bumbling around in Boston traffic with crazy drivers and one-way streets, we finally found our way to the parking garage beside the designated meeting place. We were an hour early and had had no breakfast and NO COFFEE!! I'm not called "Java" for nuthin', you know. We wandered around Quincy Market looking for food and stumbled on Dick's Last Resort. I chose it because of the "last resort" nomenclature. Little did I know that they are famous for acting like dicks. Whatever. I broke my fast with a sweet blue rum drink (can't remember the name, but it's suggestive). C had a piña colada, and then another one. The poor man was totally stressed out from my "adventurous" driving. Directions? We don't need no stinkin' directions! Yeah, I've been putting the dear man through his own special hell, though with no intentions of doing so. As similar as he and I are, we differ a lot in our approach to road trips. More on that later. After a couple of drinks and some food, C felt much better.

I called RG to tell him where we were, and since he was already in the neighborhood he came around to join us. The three of us enjoyed a lovely lunch on the patio, or whatever they call that chained off area in front of the restaurant. Afterward we went wandering around, RG showing us many interesting public places. We mostly did parks and stuff. We saw that duck pond thingie, and looked at lots of very old brownstones. The brownstones and a few of the super-swanky hotels in the city reminded me of some aspects of Biltmore House, especially how the super fancy rooms are on the first and second floors, the kitchens are in the basement, and the servants' rooms were in the unheated attic. Actually, Vanderbilt might have had some heat for his servants. He also built his house in Asheville, NC and not in frigid New England.

RG's account is much more accurate about where we went and what we saw. What we did was to spend a good deal of time on benches between bouts of walking a lot. I'm not used to walking that much. It's good for me, yes, but we should build up s-l-o-w-l-y. I was so stiff and sore when C and I got back to the hotel! Walking so much, then sitting in the car for the 45 minutes or so it took to get back to Danvers was not good for my poor, tired, sweaty body. Once here I rested for a few minutes, then took a warm shower. Felt some better after the shower, but was still stiff. I'm very tired now, but not as stiff. Analgesic pain reliever/muscle relaxers (OTC, nothing stronger) are most helpful.

C and I had a blast with RG! I had RG recount some of his stories for C, and I enjoyed laughing again at them. RG is a very good story teller. Perhaps I should have had C read some of RG's archives before our meeting, but I didn't think about it. Anyway, we had loads of fun. C got a great deal of enjoyment from seeing me walk so much, I think. The dear man has been trying to encourage me toward healthier habits for a very long time.

We wandered quite far from the original meeting place, and I was worried about walking all the way back. RG, bless his heart, walked us down to a T (subway) station where C and I rode back to within a block of the parking garage. That was a relief. It was kind of fun to ride the T, actually, and MUCH better than walking all that way back!

Tomorrow we are staying close, going into Salem to check out the college, and doing some of the touristy Salem stuff. Bewitching, don't you know.

A note about pictures: yes, I have some. I've been so busy with all this exercising and getting "befuddled" (I get befuddled, C gets lost, and we're together in the car I'm driving.) I'm extremely tired now, too tired to post the pictures. Blogger takes so long to load pics anyhow, and I don't have the patience for it now. They're coming, though!

Circle of Friends Award

Mr. Larry Ohio passed onto RG a Circle of Friends Award and RG passed onto me a Circle of Friends Award. What's really cool is that Ultra Dave also passed on this Circle of Friends Award. I feel so loved! So I must name five things I enjoy and pass on my own Circle of Friends Awards. Cool, huh?

This is a good exercise for me. Lately I've not had much enjoyment in my life. It's been a hard year. I seem to have forgotten how to enjoy myself. Let's try this. In no particular order, here are five things that I enjoy:

1. Blogging I really enjoy reading other blogs and getting to know other bloggers. I'm particularly fond of gay men. I like men in general for many reasons, and now that I've discovered all these wonderful blogs written by gay men, I'm in a fairy-land heaven.

2. Learning new things I'm very curious. I love to learn about stuff, typically the less pertinent it is to real life, the better. Trivia and such, you know. But I also enjoy gaining knowledge, exercising my brain. Sometimes I'm not so fond of it when I'm in the midst of the mental crunches, but I like the results.

Aside: There's a difference between "like" and "enjoy." Maybe not for you, but as I consider what to write here, the distinction seems important.

3. Laughing This is a broad entry, as it encompasses many things. I like to laugh at funny stories, funny movies, funny pictures, my husband laughing (he's very silly), and the irony of life. I get the "laughter is the best medicine" kind of body work-out when I laugh at the funny stuff. When I laugh at life's ironies, though, it's more like "I laugh to keep from crying." Both kinds of laughter are good, but in different ways. A corollary: I enjoy making people laugh. I like being funny and inducing laughter in others, especially the times when I get them to see something from a new perspective.

4. Helping others I get the greatest sense of satisfaction when I'm able to help someone. It means a lot to me when I can make a positive difference in the lives of others. And it's much easier for me to give help than to receive it.

5. Sex I mean, really. I recently saw this analogy: "It's as boring as married sex." HA! Married sex does not have to be boring. Really good sex is, well, really good. Even if there isn't much variety, if it's really really good, variety isn't that important. Go with what works, you know? If it ain't broke, keep doin' it. And that's all I have to say about that.

So now it's time for me to pass on this Circle of Friendship Award. I bestow this award on

Greg at The Midnight Garden. He loves to garden, loves plant and animal life in general, he's a gentle and loving soul who lives on Cape Cod year 'round. He has been a good friend and sounding board for me since I first discovered him about 18 months ago. His cheerful approach to life is inspiring.

Patrick at Loose Ends. Patrick is one of the few bloggers I've met face-to-face. He gives great hugs. He has passion for life, though he suffers from dark times. He and I have similar depression monsters that haunt our souls. He's a New York City resident who loves trees and nature and paths that lead to mysterious places.

Bigg at Bigg on Life. An interesting fellow, writes very well and has fascinating stories to tell. He's a cancer survivor. He and his partner are of different generations, and it amazes me how in love they are. He was married to a woman (gasp) and has a few kids. He loves the kids.

Rox at Heart in Hand. She's one of them Canadians you hear so much about. She lives way on up there in Canada, too, not like 15 minutes from the U.S. border or anything. She sees a lot of snow. She's an amazing woman, making her life with her husband and two daughters as peaceful and happy as possible. Sometimes it's not so peaceful, but it is a life, and the love she has for her family is obvious.

Kevin at la Casa del Retardo. He's a curmudgeonly gent who along with his partner is raising four children they adopted. He writes well when he writes, and he keeps threatening to quit blogging. He needs us, though, and hasn't been able to make the break yet. He has a small but loyal following. Though he tries to disguise it, there's something very lovable about him. He'll deny it, though.

These are my choices. If any of these folks wants to take up the challenge and post this on their blogs, that's great. If they choose not to, that's great too. I'm easy like that.

Pastiche

The idea is for me to do my homework. What really happens is that I sit here and search desperately for distractions. I have so far completed one very simple assignment and have barely begun two other papers. 

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Now in simulated woodgrain finish

This is my favorite recent LOLCats. icanhascheezburger.com is the happy place I go to for a good laugh these days. 

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There are only 2.5 more weeks of school! A couple-three days of exams, and I'm DONE for the semester. I'm thinking of taking a summer class or two, possibly at the local community/tech college. I haven't looked into it yet, though.

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I'm getting restless. I want to GO somewhere. It is time for me to get in my truck and drive north. I cannot leave until after May 4th because Superman and I have an appointment on 5/4 with a psychiatrist at the hospital who will be doing some tests on Diva. If I take summer classes that will define my free time. Twitch graduates from high school on June 5th (IIRC) so I obviously need to be here for that. My mama is coming into town a few days before his graduation. So are the in-laws, for that matter. That is an interesting dilemma. I want to be here to see my mama, but I don't want to be here to see the in-laws. Doesn't matter what I want, I have to be here. I want to see my son graduate, and that's the most important thing. 

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A friend of mine just dropped by. That almost never happens! I often say that I don't have many friends. The sad thing is that I really do have friends, I just forget them. Isn't that terrible? This is a gal who has a daughter Diva's age. I worked with her when our girls were in kindergarten and first grade in the girl scouts. I was a girl scout troop leader for a while, and this sweet lady was a great help to me. She took over leadership when I left. I am so glad she came by. I really like her a bunch, but we never get together. We could, though. I know we'd both like it. Maybe we will now that we have remembered each other. 

It isn't easy to be my friend. I don't do the right kind of reciprocating, or something. I'll have to think about that. 

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Superman has been building today. He got Light's bed nearly finished. I've been taking pictures that I will (most likely) post soon. The nifty thing about him getting Light's bed done is that it also got my office space done. I have my own study cave now, under Light's bed. I like it.

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I baked a cheesecake this evening. It has been cooling on a rack on the stove but now I'm going to put it in the refrigerator to chill overnight. I used a spring form pan, four eggs, and four 8 oz. packages of cream cheese. It's the lower fat cream cheese, so it has fewer calories but tastes just as good. As for those fewer calories, though, it won't make much difference. You and I both know that. But it sounds noble!

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That's all I've got. There will be more later, but I don't know how much more or how much later. 

I am blessed

An old friend of mine sent one of those "pass it on" emails to me. I never pass these things on, especially if they implore me not to break the chain. Occasionally I will forward something I find particularly funny. But the message I got today was sappy with strong religious/political overtones and I deleted it. However, out of morbid curiosity I read the reward/warning message at the end of the propaganda.

Pass it on to everyone and pray. Something good will happen to you tonight at 11:11 PM. This is not a joke. Someone will either call you or will talk to you online and say that they love you.

Right. The thing is, I have people in my life who tell me they love me all the time. The people I live with, even the frustrating ones, tell me regularly that they love me. In the past 24 hours I have received personal emails, comments, and chat messages from a lot of different people, almost every one expressing love to me. Ironically, this old friend who forwarded this bit of tripe didn't add a personal comment at all, much less an expression of love or friendship. If I were really jaded I'd mention that she is a Christian, but I may be above that. Or not.

I am truly blessed. Blessed with a loving family and so many far-flung friends who have touched my life and my heart with love. To those of you; you know who you are - thank you.

The debriefing

Well, we seem to have survived the camping trip.

Actually, for the most part it was quite wonderful. The weather was fantastic. Oh, and my tooth stopped hurting. I don't know what the deal was with that tooth, but it seems to be fine now.

We didn't arrive at camp until after dark on Wednesday. It's kinda tricky finding a spot to camp in the dark. This was not a commercial camp ground. No, it was a large field on the side of a mountain, surrounded by woods with sparse clumps of trees here and there. Shade was abundant and there were lovely open areas of meadow where one could bask in the warm sunshine. Except at night. At night it was just dark. It was dark the way nature is supposed to be dark. You know, with very little light pollution so watching the night sky was pleasant. I could see the thicker star clusters of the Milky Way. On Friday night I was outside for a while and saw a few meteors as well.


(These photos of the Conestoga on the truck are from my camping trip a couple of months ago. I didn't take any pictures this trip.)
When we arrived Wednesday night around 9:30-10:00 the sky was clear and the air was comfortably cool and dry. One of Superman's friends had arrived the day before, so knowing the lay of the land he helped us find a good spot to set up. We got the Conestoga assembled with a canvas drop cloth over it and one blue plastic tarp covering part of the canvas. I asked two of the fellow campers if they knew whether it was supposed to rain. Both of them looked up at the stars, looked back at us, and said "No." So of course it rained that night.

Yes, we got wet, but only our feet. Thursday morning we got up early and spread out another couple of tarps to keep our camper dry. It rained off and on most of Thursday. That was a bummer, but by the end of the day it cleared up, cooled off, and was beautiful the rest of the week. Thursday night was so much cooler that we were shivering under our sheet and thin blanket. On subsequent nights we used the canvas drop cloth folded in fourths as an additional blanket. That was warm enough.

There were a lot of people there!! This is an annual camp-out for this group, and our second year attending. This year attendance was up from last year.

The food was excellent! We provided our own breakfast and lunch, but dinner was prepared for us Thursday through Saturday. We had hamburgers and hot dogs, beans, chips, etc. on Thursday. It was good in the way hamburgers and hot dogs are good. Nothing spectacular. Until Friday night. The cook, a HUGE mountain of man-flesh*, slow roasted pork all day for some truly excellent pulled pork barbecue. It was roll-your-eyes, stand-in-line-for-seconds good. He roasted chicken quarters for Saturday's dinner. There were sides and such, too, for a complete meal each night. The evening meals were excellent.

We had access to fresh pancakes every morning. We were camped next to a family from Oklahoma. The man had a super sweet kitchen set-up with a large propane griddle. (similar to the one pictured here) He had a huge bag of pancake mix and fixed pancakes for everyone in camp who wanted some. Being right next to him, we had access to the hot pancakes and an opportunity to meet with the people who came for breakfast. It was fun!


This organization holds meetings and informational gatherings at these camp-outs. Friday night was a fireside chat moderated by one of the members. We discussed world events, specifically economics and the decline of the value of a dollar. 'Twas intellectually stimulating!! And you know how rarely that happens for me outside the blog world! I got in on the end of a demonstration of alternative medicine one afternoon and met a fascinating older woman who practices some of this. She's very sensible about it; doesn't avoid traditional medicine when that is appropriate, but tries to maintain general good health, physical and emotional, through healthy diet and vitamin combinations. She and her husband are interested and somewhat knowledgeable about healing touch/massage.

A friend of ours gave a demonstration on bee keeping that I wanted to go to, but I slept through it. I took a nap every afternoon we were there. It was wonderful!

Check this out, y'all. I made a new friend on Saturday. A real life, face to face, not virtual friend. A friend I first met in person, not someone I've ever communicated with online (yet). She (yes, a woman friend!! I don't have many of those) is a year younger than I am, never married single**, works in a college library in the same town (but not the same school) where Light attends college. She's a strong, independent, intelligent woman, a rare find in my experience. Her name is TC. She lives in a small town on the outskirts of Greenville, which is a little less than an hour from here (I think).

There were a few campers from Canada. I spent an hour or more Saturday morning talking to a really nice guy from Owen Sound, Ontario. He's a nurse there, and has done some work in the hospital psych ward, though he's typically on the medical ward. The conversation turned to lgbt and he told me about a good friend of his who is a lesbian. He sounded so much like me in a lot of ways. He loves hanging out with his lesbian friend because they enjoy the same kinds of things, and like to check out the sexy ladies together. He really enjoys watching her cruise the girls. But, like a typical guy, he was quick to point out that he is straight and is dating a really hot girl. Straight guys are so funny.

This is a fairly conservative group of people. Many of them observe Christian religious traditions. However, these folks are mostly gay friendly, at least the ones I've talked to. If not enthusiastically gay friendly, they are accepting and tolerant. For a bunch of conservatives they are really quite nice. Unlike the religious right fundie wackos around here.

*The guy is really big. He must be at least 6 feet tall, and I don't know where he finds clothes that fit. I'd guess he weighs probably 400 lbs. He could only sit on one of those really big 3' wide coolers. All camp chairs tremble with fright at his approach.

**I didn't get a lesbian vibe from her. Not real sure, especially since my lesbian gaydar isn't as reliable (except in obvious cases) as my m2m gaydar.

busy being busy

We got Light all moved out of the dorm by 11:00 this morning. I slept there last night, but didn't get there until 2:30 a.m. I had a Pepsi as I left Greenwood, and I was still pretty awake when I got to the college. I fell asleep without too much trouble, though.

Light woke up before I did, but I was awake by 8:30. The dining hall was closed today so we couldn't get breakfast here. Light says we didn't miss anything. She may think that, but I missed my coffee!

We had a lovely lunch at Panera. I've never been there before. They don't have fancy places like that in Greenwood! It was good. Then we went to Michael's, the craft store. We don't have one of those in Greenwood, either. I kinda went a little crazy. Shhhh! Don't tell Superman!

Light and I are hanging around the student center now. We're going to meet up with one of her friends a little later and go to a concert here in town. They told me what/who/where, but I forget. I'll tell you about it tomorrow if it's memorable and notable enough. Anywho, after the conference we'll go to this friend's house. She and her partner live in town and are both students. They're close to my age, which as we all know is getting up toward old. Since it'll be fairly late when the concert is over we've been invited to spend the night with the friends. I'm looking forward to a bit of fun and socializing. I don't get out much.

Superman is fixing up Light's bedroom. He has rather a lot left to do. I think he's glad we're spending an extra night away from home to give him more time to do what needs to be done.

Light and I have had a very pleasant day together. We don't do this often. I haven't been online at all today until now, so aside from a little bit of bloggirium tremens, I'm having a wonderful day.

There will of course be further reports as opportunity presents.

Here and There

I actually did some living today! I didn't just blog. That means I didn't get to visit my daily blogs, and I'm feeling somewhat disconnected from my community of choice. Nevertheless, I did good things today. I slept some, since I was up way too late last night, I transported my kids to school, got some nails and screws for Superman so he can finish the project (I'll tell you all about it next week!) he's been working on. Diva had an appointment with her counselor, so I took her there after school. We needed a few more things from the grocery, of course, so I did that.

I also, and most significantly, worked on a project; a gift I'm making for a friend of mine. And I got it finished!! This has been an issue with me recently. I've always been bad about finishing projects, but recently it's gotten worse. There are some psychological issues involved, but I don't know what. Anyway, I got this one DONE! I need to look up the address, finish addressing the envelope, write a brief note (we all know how well I do "brief"!!) and it'll be ready for the post office.

Then I will drive to the college town where Light matriculates. Today was her final final, and she has to be completely out of the dorm by noon tomorrow. Her roommate left this afternoon, so I'm going up tonight and will sleep in the roommate's bed. I will be there in the morning and we can pack up the rest of her stuff. There are a few other things on the calendar for the afternoon and evening. More of that "living" stuff. I'll tell you about it when I next have a chance. But now I need to finish up here, finish packing a few things, and get on the road.

So I'll be living a real life instead of being hooked up to this computer on Friday. Mayhaps I'll have more interesting things to tell you after that!

The dangerous dynamic that is friendship

My dear friends: Pay no attention to the subject of the article below except as it pertains to the story I am about to tell.

The story I am about to tell is true. Some names may be altered to protect the clueless.

I know a woman named Shelly. We've known each other for 11 years, maybe longer. She's funny, full of energy, has a sarcastic sense of humor, and quite intelligent. Shelly and her husband and five children live in an old farmhouse in a very small community a few miles outside of our city. They are practicing Catholics, Shelly particularly faithful. She has a meaningful spirituality that does more than pay lip service to the Catholic traditions.

Shelly has homeschooled her children since the oldest one was in 3rd grade. (I think.) Two of the five kids have graduated high school now and are gainfully employed. Every Halloween she puts on a big party for the kids and their friends and parents. It is wonderfully fun. This year's theme will be super heroes and villains. Yes, it is April and she's planning the party. It's that good.

Our family is large and very busy with lots of random stuff. Her family is large and busy with lots of random stuff. We don't get together very often, though when we do we always say "We need to get together more often! We have so much fun together!" The Halloween party is our annual social contact with them. Shelly is an accountant and manages the local H&R Block office. She does our taxes, charging us a reduced "family and friends" rate. So we see her a couple of times between February and April, depending on when we get our tax info together and over to her.

The tax event occurred this week. I went in to sign the forms on Monday. We sat and chatted for a while. I took about 3 or 4 dozen pens that her son had dug out of the dumpster behind the store. (Pens disappear from this household at an alarming and mysterious rate.) We discussed my change in employment status, and my plans for the future. I mentioned I want to do something with the GLBT community, possibly more of what I'm doing now with C and S but in a more in-depth way. That is one of my thoughts, anyway. There are a lot of directions this could go. Anyway, we were talking about me taking in young gays (and lesbians, too, if the gals need a place) who have been kicked out of their homes, or for whatever reason need a place to stay.

Then she asked me a question that took me by surprise. I should have expected it, but I wasn't thinking. She said "What will you do to fix them?"

......ah.....well...... Nothing. They aren't broken.

I said they are born that way. There isn't anything wrong with it.
"Yes there is, but whatever... they can't live that lifestyle!"
Why not? It isn't a choice.
"Well, they can chose not to act on those urges."
Would you deny someone the right to be in a loving committed relationship?
Duh, of course she would. That is the clusterfuck* this conversation is careening toward.
I'll save you the gory details. I'm sure you've heard them all WAY too often anyway.
We remained civil. Friendly, even. We eventually changed the subject. (I noticed the big box filled to the brim with hundreds of ink pens. That distracted me right there. ADD isn't always a bad thing :) )

This afternoon I received an email from her, a forwarded thing that has half a dozen "fwd: fw:FW:"s in front of it. I post a small portion of it here for demonstration purposes only.

McDonald's Comes Out of the Closet
Donald E. Wildmon
Founder and Chairman

McDonald's CEO: Company will put full resources behind gay agenda

McDonald's has signed on to a nationwide effort to promote "gay" and "lesbian" business ventures. According to McDonald’s CEO Jim Skinner, McDonald’s will aggressively promote the homosexual agenda. In remarks on McDonald's Web site concerning the company becoming a member of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC), Skinner wrote: "Being a socially responsible organization is a fundamental part of who we are. We have an obligation to use our size and resources to make a difference in the world … and we do."

It goes on for many more paragraphs, getting uglier all the while.

I've been shielding myself from stuff like that. I've been getting my news from Joe.My.God or Michael-in-Norfolk. There are other, more thorough gay news sources; you probably know the biggies. I'm not a big news hound, and these guys are my faves. My point is that I'm not on the mailing lists of American Family Association, Focus on the Family or any of those. Not anymore. I was shocked all over again at seeing reference to the gay agenda, gay and lesbian put in quotes. For the last year or so I've immersed myself in information and connections with homosexuality and the glbt community. I forgot how different it is out there.

This is an example of one reason I don't have local friends. Just about everyone I knew, everyone I considered a friend, holds these homophobic opinions. They have severed the relationship. I think Shelly and I can remain friends. I want to. She's pretty good about not letting differences ruin a friendship. But we won't be as close as we were, not as long as she remains homophobic. The ironic thing about this is that Shelly's sister is a lesbian. "Aunt B" lives in a small mobile home at the other end of their driveway. I also have my suspicions, as does Light, about Shelly's oldest daughter and daughter #3.

*clusterfuck is my new favorite cuss word for the week. I'm trying to raise my score on the cuss-o-meter.

And...

I'm going through my favorite blogs tonight. Haven't had a chance in 2 days to do much of that; not as much as I want anyway. And I'm thinking. My brain is firing all sorts of random ideas in every direction. So I'm going to share some of them, because isn't that the reason I have a blog???

I have made/am making so many great friends through the blogs. This excites me. I haven't in a long time had friends with whom I could have deep philosophical discussions. Most of the people in my mundane physical world would be hard pressed to know what these last two sentences mean. I am learning so much, experiencing (virtually) new exciting things, receiving amazing support through my struggles with life, and being able to support and encourage others, which satisfies a deep inner need of mine.

Most of my blogging buddies are men. Gay men, which is the most fabulous variety there is! And I say to Superman "I am madly in love with (insert your name here)." The wonderful thing about that is he's OK with that! In his mind, you are my version of girlfriends. It is perfect for me, because I can have men friends and Superman isn't jealous.

The latest on Adam is looking very good!

This is how Light reported it in her blog:

Today, The Flower (one of her friends) and I went over to the local rehabilitation center and saw Le Batard(Adam). He is WALKING! I had talked to him on the phone and he'd tod me this, so I knew it intellectually, but to see him walking, and (aside from being a bit more irritable and having braces on his neck and torso) back to himself is a whole different thing!That, and he is still able to tickle attack me and make sexual jokes about everyone around him. He is definitely back to normal.

And they tell me he is being discharged from the rehab center tomorrow and will be at HOME! He lives in our neighborhood, so he'll be just around the block by (ok, it is really today....Saturday).

Updates

I have further news of the folks about whom we are concerned. The young man, friend of Light, who was in the wreck Sunday is doing worse. He's hanging on but barely. He isn't breathing on his own and his lung keeps filling up with fluid. The docs aren't going to operate unless and until he can breathe on his own. Light wants to go see him at the 8:00 visiting hour. The hospital is 1.5 hours away. It is Thanksgiving Eve. If she and her friend go, I'm driving them.

Light had her wisdom teeth removed today. She is doing well. There is, of course, some pain, but it is managable.

No turkey for Thanksgiving tomorrow. It is still frozen solid. I'm going to the grocery later this evening (maybe after the long trip to and from the hospital!) to get a roast for tomorrow. We'll have turkey this weekend. Light should be able to eat it by then.