Christmas Day 2016

Merry Christmas!
We're having a modest Christmas. We bought one or two things to give to each of the sons and the gay pseudo-son, and Twitch gave us a marble mortar and pestle. I had amazon.com send a thing to Light and her boyfriend, and to my Mama. And that's it for Christmas. We finished a delicious early afternoon feast, most of which Superman cooked. Ain't he wonderful? I made the sweet potato casserole and pumpkin and pecan pies, and he made everything else.

I have this wonderful cookbook on my Kindle, An Unexpected Cookbook: The Unofficial Book of Hobbit Cookery.* I bought it about this time last year but hadn't yet made any of the recipes. Well, I chose a few to make side dishes for our Christmas feast. We had braised carrots, rosemary skillet peas, and the most wonderful savory bread pudding! Savory bread pudding is pretty much the same thing as dressing (or stuffing if you prefer) but this recipe has ingredients I've never used in dressing. It was the hit of the day, if you disregard the turkey and the pies. Really, all of it was delicious.

Superman has had a marble mortar and pestle for years, but the pestle broke a few years ago. It's hard to use that pestle when it's only half as long as it should be. One's fingers are in danger of being mashed against the side of the mortar. So Twitch gave him a new one. And there was much rejoicing.

The gingerbread house is on hold until after Christmas. I'll probably start playing with it again tomorrow. I made a few of the pieces but the big one fell apart when I tried to take it off the cookie sheet. Then I looked in my old recipe book and realized the recipe I printed off from my computer files is the wrong one! This cookie is actually easier to eat, softer and more fragile. The other recipe makes a very hard cookie which is superior for construction. So bully for me, I'm going to use that tomorrow. I'll post a picture when it's finished. My new goal is to have it finished by New Years Day.

*This book can be had from amazon.com in Kindle edition for $5.99 as of this writing. It's also available in hardcover, but I suspect it's out of print, since the hardcover edition sells for $139.96.

'Twas a couple o' days before Christmas...

Feeling groovy. Ish. I'm not taking the high power pain meds anymore after my hernia surgery. Today I was finally able to take the bandages off the incision site. It doesn't so much hurt as itch like a sonofabitch. The area was covered with a gauze bandage and stuck on with one of those large pieces of clear plastic adhesive stuff. Superman called it a "plaster" and says the entire English speaking world calls that a plaster except the U.S. Anyway, I've had that adhesive stuck to my belly for six days. The skin doesn't like that foolishness. Now the whole area itches. I've got dissolving stitches covered by steri-strip bandages. Those will come off on their own, says the doctor. That part itches, too, but the worst is the freshly released skin all around my navel. I'd rather it itch than hurt, though. Being off the hydrocodone, eating real food, and taking a bit of laxative has helped the bowels behave better.  And as you know, a happy bowel contributes much toward general happiness.





Light and Twitch are home now. It was wonderful; Light stopped in Charlotte to see Twitch, and decided to bring him home so neither Superman nor I had to drive to get him. She's a good kid. That was Friday. She stayed the night (we took her and Twitch out to our favorite pizza and beer place) and left early Saturday morning for Charleston, where she met up with a good friend and went to the wedding of a friend of that friend. They stayed in Charleston last night and came home today. Tonight she and her friend and another good friend of theirs, all good buddies from high school, have gone out to the drive-in theater to see "The Hobbit." This was a picture the middle one put on her Facebork page tonight celebrating the reunion of these particular three musketeers. Light is on the right, the one with the biggest silly grin. :-)

(Warning: boring paragraph about cooking follows)
I'm back in the kitchen again. Haven't done much cooking since last weekend. Last night I fixed my favorite macaroni and cheese recipe, double-and-a-half, to make enough for this big hungry crowd. It was well received. Today I started some red sauce for lasagna, but never got around to putting together the lasagna. Perhaps that will be our Christmas Eve dinner. C made some red sauce to go with some penne for a late lunch for him and his he-wishes-he-was-his-boyfriend-but-right-now-they're-"just-friends" and I added his leftovers to my pot of stuff. I haven't tasted it yet, but I suspect it will be wunnerful. There are stealth vegetables in the sauce. I processed some carrots to just shy of puree and added them to the sauce. That might add a hint of sweetness, too. There's no way I'll ever be able to replicate that sauce.

Also, I baked some more bread. And I'll be making stuffing (or do you call it dressing?) to go with the turkey for Christmas dinner using a variety of breads. I'm getting excited about doing stuff again. For the last couple of weeks my give-a-shit has been hobbled. For the next week or two (or three?) I'm limited in how much weight I can lift. Five pounds. That's it. Do you now how many things in the kitchen weigh more than five pounds? My favorite cast iron skillet, for one. And the food processor. (Full disclosure: Superman actually  ran the carrots through the processor.) (He also scraped them into the sauce pot because if he does it all the carrot pieces get into the pot. If I do it a lot of carrot bits are randomly strewn around the stove top. And beside the stove. And probably other unlikely places.)

If there was more I intended to say I have since forgotten it. I could regale you with recent infractions of the law perpetrated by Sproing and/or Diva's trouble with her big mouth as relates to staying at school. A lot of that kind of shit happened while I was on my blogging sabbatical. It was depressing, and I didn't want to talk about it. It's merry happy holiday time now and I don't want to talk about it. And since I can't remember what else I was going to say, I guess I'll stop now. This rambling has gone on long enough for one post.

Preparing dinner for the in-laws: why I don't

Many years ago, before Diva and Sproing were born, we lived in a cute little house in the country. Light and Twitch were maybe 5 and 7, give or take a year or two. Superman's parents were on their way to visit us. I don't recall the occasion. It may have been a "just because" visit. "Just because" in this instance means "just because we live to torture you." (My interpretation)

The drive from there to here is approximately 5 hours. They said they'd be arriving at our house at 12:00. (Whatever time it was, I don't remember, but lunch was the meal in question.) We have traveled that trail ourselves, and predicting the exact time of arrival is iffy, in my experience. Not so with the Super-in-laws. (Here, "Super-in-law" refers to the fact that they are perfect. Not nice, kind, or thoughtful, just perfect. As in "can do nothing wrong.") They are precise and punctually perfect.

Being perfect, of course, they have a perfectly lovely home, clean and well apportioned. I, on the other hand, am a mess. My house is perpetually cluttered, and not particularly clean. In preparation for the in-law invasion, we had attempted to clean up a bit. It is impossible to be completely prepared, though. Impossible. I was stressed. (duh)

I was told that they would be expecting lunch when they arrived. I was reminded that Father-in-law (FIL) does not eat breakfast, and would need his lunch in a timely manner. He is used to eating at 11:00, so he would be an hour past hungry when they arrive. The mid-day meal is their large meal of the day. Now that they are retired, they eat a substantial lunch, then a very light supper. And you know how FIL loves my baked ham! (hint hint)

So I was fussing around in the kitchen, trying to get it all together. I was working on an impressive menu. We had the ham, some desserts (probably pies. That's typical.) at least two side dishes, freshly baked homemade bread of some sort (either biscuits or yeast rolls) and I don't know what else. And I had two children who I was ostensibly homeschooling. 

At some point during the morning I was in the kitchen, trying to clean up as I cooked. I had an empty glass jar with a label I was trying to remove. Soaking didn't help, so I took a razor scraper to it. The jar, as are most jars, was round. I held the jar with my left hand, being right handed. In the process of trying to clean this thing up, I made a bigger mess. Of my thumb. The razor slipped and I jabbed the blade into the knuckle of my left thumb. There was much blood, and a fair amount of pain. I washed and wrapped it tightly, and the blood flow slowed, but did not stop. 

I had a ham in the oven, nearly finished. There were a few side dishes and some bread that still needed to bake once the ham was done. The in-laws were an hour or so away. This was before we all had cell phones, so communication was impossible. My babies were too young to leave alone, though I think Superman was there. But he was working like a dawg trying to clean the place, if indeed he was there. I was cleaning in the kitchen as much as I could while cooking and caring for the kids. So I just wrapped my finger tightly and soldiered on. I had to change the dressing once or twice; the blood was flowing slowly. 

It was a week day, so Superman would have or should have been at work. He may have taken the day off. I know he was there when his folks arrived. On time. Exactly. (Spooky, really). When they pulled into the driveway, Superman was in the shower. He'd been working and was all sweaty and smelly, so he was bathing. I was very busy shuffling things into and out of the oven. 

Now, I married into this family. I was not born Perfect. Only these people and their children are Perfect. It only hurts my case that their daughter, who is almost exactly my age, is indeed Perfect. She has a Perfect house, cooks delicious Perfect meals, and always gets everything on the table at the same time at the Perfect time. I am not Perfect like her. When these people arrived there was still close to an hour before the meal would be ready. I did, though, thoughtfully prepare a few little appetizers to help tide them over until lunch. 

As I said, Superman was in the shower. Mother-in-law (MIL) greeted my children (not Perfect grandchildren, because their mother was woefully deficient as a parent) then came into the kitchen where I was up to my eyeballs in stress and cooking. She asked if dinner was ready. I said I'd run into some trouble, and it would be about an hour before everything was on the table. I showed her the appetizers. She refused the appetizers, saying they didn't want to spoil their appetite for the dinner. huh? 

That's not the gold, though. No, then she stood in my kitchen and blessed me out because lunch wasn't ready. She had told me when they would arrive. She told me "Dad" would be hungry. So why did I not have lunch ready? She was hungry! She needed to eat! "Dad" needed to eat! I directed her to the appetizers again. NO! She wanted LUNCH, not a little snack that would spoil her appetite. 

Superman usually intervenes before she can start this bullshit. He was wet, naked, and totally unavailable in the heat of the moment. I stood in the middle of my kitchen and stared at her, dumbfounded. I so wanted to say (in a very stern voice) "Get back in your car, turn right out of the driveway, go two miles into town, and there you will find a pizza parlor and a Mexican diner. You can eat there." I didn't though. I swallowed it, and just said "I'm sorry it isn't ready. I'm doing the best I can." 

Superman finally came out, dressed and in his right mind. The in-laws greeted their perfect son, the poor boy who had mistakenly married this pathetic excuse for a wife. MIL then had the gall to laugh lightly and tell him that she was a bit cranky because she was hungry. Ha ha ha, isn't that quaint?

I stayed in the kitchen and finished preparing the meal. I served the meal. We ate. Once I'd had a bit of food and saw that the kids had some lunch, I took myself to the doctor's office to get my thumb stitched up. Because the cut needed stitches. The doc soaked my finger in some kind of disinfectant stuff for about half an hour before he sewed it up. I was grateful to be able to spend that extra time away from home and the Perfect Mother-in-law.

I will bake a pie as my contribution to this mid-day meal. I will bake a lemon meringue pie, because that is the kind Twitch likes. FIL won't eat it, though. He once told me "The GOOD LORD deliver us from Tart Desserts." (I wish you could hear the inflection. It's wicked.) 

I'm too old for this shit. 

Meme redux

Indigo tagged me for this 123 meme. I've done it before, but I'll do it again because I have a different book in front of me. This is the meme where I pick up a book, turn to page 123, and quote the 5th sentence. Wait, let me copy/paste the official rules as posted at the Ashram at Pooh Corner:

Pick up the nearest book.
Open to page 123.
Locate the fifth sentence.
Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing…
Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged me.

"'Hi Mr. Bishop. What happened? Did you get fired?'"

The Brothers Bishop by Bart Yates, Kinsington Publishing Corp., 2005

That's the fifth, sixth, and seventh sentence on page 123. These aren't nearly as good as the last sentence on page 122 and the first four sentences of page 123. I just have to quote those, too.

"Tommy is wearing a black Speedo swimsuit and nothing else.

"Christ. If his genitals were squeezed any tighter against the fabric I could count his pubic hairs.

"When I slam the car door Simon gives me a big wave and comes running over. His hair is wet from sweating, and there's a small red pimple in the middle of his chest."

There's another book close by that I will quote from as well. This is the Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving.

"4. Place jars in canner, ensuring they are completely covered with water. Bring to a boil and process for 10 minutes. Remove jars, cool (see suspension tip, page 130) and store."

What can I say. I'm an overachiever. And since I previously did this meme, I won't tag anyone this time.

Hodge Podge

• We appear to have survived Mother's Day. I didn't call my mother, actually, although I did talk to her the day before (if it wasn't the day before that). Perhaps I should call her.
  The kids around here did well. Twitch got me a funny card, Diva found a blank card in some of my stationery and wrote a sweet note on it. Diva also brought me a handful of rose blooms (no stem to speak of- she picked them off of the volunteer rosebush along our fence.) and also baked a chocolate cake for me. She really enjoyed all that, and I did too because she is so honest and sweet about it. Sproing briefly told me "happy Mother's Day" and gave me a hug, then bounced out of the room to do whatever it is he does. I didn't hear from Light at all, but had visited her on Friday anyway, so I'm fine with that. She often tells me how much she appreciates me, so I don't need to hear it from her on the one "special" day. Phooey on "special days." I didn't hear peep one from S and C. Am I pissed? No, not really. Maybe a little sad, but not mad.
• I saw my therapist today. Between her being out of the office for one thing and another, and me being out of town, it has been almost 6 weeks since I last saw her. We really need to not go that far between sessions! It was a good session. I see her again next week. The week after that, though, her daughter is getting married, so she's out of the office again. Eh. We'll get me scheduled in there somewhere.
• My allergies are annoying me. I don't know what is blooming, but whatever it is, I'm allergic to it. Every time I'm outside for any length of time my eyes get itchy. I tried to wear my contact lenses today, but I had to take them out this evening when my left eye got too irritated. After half an hour my eye finally stopped itching. Ugh.
• Sproing had his final visit with the child psychiatrist this afternoon. She is moving away next month. She's been great ever since we started having issues with Twitch about 4 years ago. Twitch, Diva, and Sproing all see her. She's the only child psychiatrist in town. Oy. Diva sees her in 2 weeks. Diva and Sproing will continue to see counselors in the office. Twitch really needs to be under the care of a doctor because of the combination of conditions from which he suffers. At this point, though, he doesn't need regular therapy sessions. My stars but how that boy has improved over the last 2 years!!
  
• I'm feeling blue again. An overwhelming wave of sadness washed over me this afternoon on the way home from Sproing's doctor's office. Maybe the stress of parenting three difficult children is weighing on me. Maybe I'm just tired. Hormones probably play a part somewhere, somehow. I dread the summer heat, we are seeing warmer temperatures now. It's time. Whatever the combination of causes, I'm feeling sad and tired. I'll try not to whine too much.
  
• I fixed supper tonight. Superman cooks more often than I do anymore, but now that I'm not working, I know I should take on more of that responsibility. I told him when he got home that supper was in the oven, and he was thrilled. That made me feel good. We all sat down together at the table to eat (not C and S, but the other three) and it was miserable. Diva was pouting and slouching over her plate. Twitch was in a foul mood. Sproing was whining about not being hungry, though I knew he was and that he needs to eat. And each one of the ungrateful wretches complained about the food. Superman liked it. He is wonderful. The rest of them can go jump in a lake.
  

Chicken Soup of the Gods

Superman made chicken soup tonight. I've eaten lots of chicken soup over the past 45 years. This soup he made tonight is undoubtedly the best chicken soup I have ever tasted! He used the leftovers from Christmas dinner, those Cornish game hens he and I jointly prepared. I have no idea what transpired to make the soup so good. The hens were brined for a few hours before they were roasted. After roasting and not being eaten, they went into the pot of water (I think… I was in bed when they were put away) and eventually stuck in the freezer. Yesterday I believe it was Light who pulled the pot out of the freezer and set it on the stove over very low heat. It finally thawed, then heated to a slow boil. I turned it down to ultra-low before I went to bed at 3:00 a.m. Sometime in the late afternoon Superman pulled the hens out of the broth and separated all the bones from the meat, returning the meat to the pot. He said he added some soup starter (Tone's soup base, kinda like bullion, purchased from Sam's Club). He pulled stuff out of the cabinet and poured it in the pot; he has no idea what all he put in there. I saw what is probably parsley flakes, and canned carrots, peas, and corn. We discussed putting barley in it, but he couldn't find any where he thought we had some. I didn't think we had any. So the barley was only a suggestion and not technically in the soup.

Not only was this the best soup I have ever had, it was extremely good. Extremely! Maybe I've never had really good soup before and this was the best of mediocre. Nope. This was genuinely excellent soup. Primo. And you know I've been sick, and needed some chicken soup. Wow. That's all I can say. Wow.

Good Mommy points

Today is Diva's 10^th birthday. The sweet child is so different from me in lots of ways. She's more girly than I am, but not excessively so, which helps. She is very outgoing, loves to be with people, and absolutely loves a good party. And a good party is one with lots and lots of friends in attendance. She's got great spunk and creativity.

I, on the other hand, don't do well with lots of people all around me like that. For a while, yes. On a good day, probably. But I need an escape, at least a short break to collect myself. Not Diva. She's in the middle of everything.

She wants to have a grand birthday party. I can't do it. I'll do what I can for her, when I can, but I can't give her the birthdaypalooza she wants.

I think she had a pretty good day today, though. I bought her birthday presents at least a week ago, had them all wrapped up and "hidden" in my room. (She knew exactly where they were.) Light left a gift for her when she was here for Thanksgiving. She's been happy anticipating the gifts.

I didn't see her at all this morning, as she was still sleeping when I left for work. I was a bit concerned that I hadn't done enough to make her day special. Then I had an idea. I used to take cupcakes to her class on her birthday when she was younger, but that doesn't seem appropriate now in 4^th grade. But she's at day care after school, and they have snack time anyway… So I baked a cake in an oblong pan to take to the day care before I went to work this afternoon. I also baked a layer cake for us to have with the family celebration tonight.

The day care cake needed some help from Superman. I got the cake done, but time ran away from me and I didn't have time to take it by the day care. I also didn't have any frosting. So I called Superman to assist. He stopped by the grocery on his way home from work at lunchtime to pick up a can of frosting. He then took the cake and the frosting to the day care. I told him to just leave the frosting with the cake, not to try to frost the thing himself. Well, he did try, he said, but he was making a mess of it. One of the other gals there took over and made it beautiful.

Diva was delighted! She gushed thanks upon me when she got home. I felt good. Definitely good mommy points on that one. Extra bonus points because it was a surprise to her.

Then of course there was the other cake. And I made frosting from scratch for that one. (it didn't work real well, but tasted good anyway.) While I was mixing up the frosting I also figured out what to have for dinner and put that together. Understand that I rarely cook anymore. Superman does the bulk of the cooking, with S cooking quite a lot too. I'll do the "special" meals like Thanksgiving, etc. Every so often I'll do a roast & veggies thing. But daily cooking is something that has fallen by the wayside. Superman has had a rough couple of days and is tired and stressed. So I came up with a casserole thing that I thought tasted pretty good. You know what? I don't even know what Diva's favorite meal is. Or if she has one. I know about Twitch and Light. Sproing is blissful with anything pasta. But I am not sure what if anything Diva prefers.

Other things I accomplished today:

• Put our bed sheets in the wash, and Superman helped me re-make the bed this evening. Clean sheets! That's another thing I don't do often enough. I love sleeping on clean sheets, though, and he does too. We got out the flannel sheets. Yummy.
  
• Put away the pots and such from two plastic bins, one of which was a huge box. We've been slowly repainting our kitchen cabinets, one section at a time, and these were the dishes from the first section. The painting was finished a few weeks ago. I needed the cake pans that were in that box, so that was my motivation.
  

And here's a re-cap of the good mommy things:

• Baked TWO cakes for Diva's birthday.
  
• Surprised Diva with the cake at after-school day care
  
• Cooked supper for the family
  
• Got the kitchen table cleared off so we could all eat together around the table
  
• Bought presents for my birthday girl, had them wrapped ahead of time
  

Doing all the supper and supplementary stuff kept me in the kitchen, in the public parts of the house with my kids when we got home. Many evenings I go to my room and sort of hide from everyone. They come visit me, the queen on her throne, and I take care of their little concerns, usually delegating the leg work to others. I'm not all that involved with the nitty-gritty details of family life. Tonight I stayed there, out of my nest, in the midst of my children. That was definitely a good mommy thing. And it is the second time I've done it within a week. The first time wasn't so good. There was much strife. Today, though, it was much better. I kinda missed my little nest and seclusion, but I'm glad I stayed with the family. It was the right thing to do, and I feel very good about having done it.

And throughout the evening Diva kept saying this was the best birthday she's ever had. *sigh* It feels great to be appreciated. It happens so rarely!