Random shit

I've decided to be Pete. I decided that on the way to the jailhouse to see Sproing this morning. I thought about lots of things on the drive (1.5 hours) to see Sproing. It was a lovely morning. So, this Pete thing: Pete, but not instead of Java. Still Java, but Pete if/when I'm a guy. My parents were going to name me Robert because Robert Burns' birthday was my due date. (Different year) I was born a couple of days earlier, and son of a gun, I was a daughter. That saved me from the fate of Robert. Not that there's anything wrong with Robert. I've known some very nice Roberts. I don't like the name for me, though.

Signs of aging:

• I mostly drink decaf coffee because too much caffeine does odd things to my nerves and my heart.
• My nose hairs are turning gray. 
• I can make dot-to-dot pictures with the age spots on my arms and back of my hands. 

I practiced my southern accent in the truck on the way to the jailhouse. It's a random sort of accent, not associated with any one particular location. I think. I learned a few East Tennessee-isms from my father-in-law. "Lord, help!" for example. I don't know how to spell it so reads like it sounds, but the whole thing is said with exasperation. The kiddie jail is in Union, SC. That'd be "yooon-yun" with an extra long yoooo and a flat u in -yun. 

Superman is away for the weekend. I was away for a week,and I'm back now. Hi, y'all! Had a great time at the Bloggerpalooza. Superman went to his folks' place to celebrate his aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. That'll happen Sunday afternoon, as those things do in The South(TM). He'll come home Monday. Then Sproing comes home from jail on Tuesday. Yeah, we thought he'd be in custody for 60 days, but the DJJ office in our county messed up his paperwork. I'm mostly glad he gets to come home. He probably doesn't need to be there. Diva, on the other hand, should be in DJJ custody. Or someone else's custody besides mine. Someone responsible, not her "grown" 18 year old friend. I don't want to talk about it. 

When I don't post for a while, that probably means I'm depressed. That's why I didn't post earlier in the week. I had a great trip, lots of fun driving and seeing people I like. I was happy. Then I had to come home, and damn, y'all, my home life is shit, Superman excepted. Today I took another drive. To the jailhouse, sure, but on the way home I took a detour. I wanted to see where this highway intersects a highway coming back toward Greenwood. I saw some lovely things and some depressing things. There sure are a lot of trailer houses in rural South Carolina. And a lot of them are really ugly. 

I'm coming down with some kind of lung crud. Haven't had bronchitis in a long time, but that's probably what this is. It's in the annoying stage now, when I have a slight cough, my chest feels heavy, and my throat is a bit rough. However, my throat could feel rough because of all the drive-singing I did recently. Including today. I belted out loud songs to which I know not the lyrics. Things can get funny that way. 

Tuesday March 25th is the first anniversary of my Daddy's death. I'm OK, I think. Death happens, he was sick (sicker than we thought he was), he didn't linger and wasn't in too much pain for very long. I miss him. I feel bad for my step-mom who is alone now. We'll see what the 25th brings. That's the day we have to drive back to Union to get Sproing. Yeah, we have to pick him up; no delivery like he had last time. So I'll be busy, which is probably good. Don't know yet if Superman will be available to go with me to get the boy. 

I bemoan my traitorous heart. I have a crush* on another guy. It's not a big or painful crush; easy to ignore. But I dreamed about him last night. And Superman is away, not here to distract me. This guy is totally inappropriate for me. I mean, absolutely. For one thing, he's younger (by a year or two) than Twitch. He is an adult, but not "grown" in the way Diva thinks anyone who turns 18 is automatically mature and responsible. Actually this guy is pretty irresponsible. He shows addictive tendencies. Spent six months in jail last year on drug charges. But oh, my, is he cute!! He's beautiful. Tall, thin but not too thin, brown hair, sweet smile, and friendly to talk to. I really don't know him very well. He might be a total ass. But he's lovely to look at. 

I was going to talk about the weather not doing what "they" predicted, but I see that it is now sunny just like the forecast said. It was overcast at midday. Now at 5-ish the sun is back out. I like the sun, as long as it's effects are mitigated by cooler temperatures. Yeah, I'm picky. 

*"Crush" might be too strong a word, actually. Visual appreciation might serve better. 

Betwixt and Between

I like this time between Christmas and New Year's Day, being inside the parentheses of traditionally major celebrations. One of Superman's favorite movies is "While You Were Sleeping" with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. Are you familiar with that one? Sandra Bullock (Superman thinks she's sexy) plays "Lucy" who fantasizes she's in love with a guy who falls off the 'L' platform on Christmas Day. He spends this week between Christmas and New Years in a coma. Suspended animation. While I'm no where near being in a coma, and I have been known to get shit done, it is nevertheless a week of time where ordinary feels out of place.

As long as Superman has worked at his current place of employment, this week has been out of the ordinary at the plant. The first few years he worked there they had "shut down" and he had to work extra hours doing the maintenance shit that has to happen when the machines aren't running. This place runs a 24/7 manufacturing operation that doesn't stop willy-nilly. Then he moved into a position at the company where he had nothing to do during "shut down" so he took the week off. He had to save vacation time to do it, of course. Now that he's been with the company over 18 years he has lots of vacation time to play with. This year, however, the vagaries of production, sales, natural disasters, etc. have changed the traditional down time so the plant is still running. Also Superman's had to take a lot of vacation days for health related problems throughout the year. Health and family emergencies. Refer to the archives regarding drama with the kids. He hasn't got vacation time left to take off this week. But then, as if his subconscious knows he's not supposed to work this week, he caught a doozy of a chest cold and has been in bed most of the week. Including Christmas Day. He went in to work Friday, but only managed half a day before he got so weak and exhausted he had to come home. The fever has quit, he's able to stay awake for hours at a time now, and his voice sort of works again. His normal tenor voice is basso profondo, but he's at least able to speak.

Light and Twitch were both home for Christmas. I drove Twitch back to Charlotte on Thursday. It's the first time since my hernia surgery that I've driven, so of course rather than driving a few miles around town, I drove almost 300 miles, half of that with a loaded pick up truck. Twitch is moving out of his apartment, but with no other plans for housing, he will move in with some friends for temporary. He'll be sleeping on the floor in the living room. So he asked me to bring a bunch of his stuff home until he gets something permanent. Still not allowed to lift over 5 pounds (yeah, like that's happened), I couldn't do much to help him pack his stuff. I got home safely, but of course the others had to unpack the truck. I was OK with this plan.

It was really good having Light home for Christmas this year. She didn't make it home last year until the second week of January. She was only here for about three days, but it was a very good visit. I enjoyed Twitch's company for the most part, and he's much more chillaxed now that he's taking Celexa. Those SSRIs are wonderful. Sproing was a pain in the butt most of the week, and his outbursts really stressed out Twitch. Twitch's stress-out recovery time is shorter now, thank Celexa. Ironically, Sproing is also on Celexa, but it doesn't help him be less annoying. Unless it does and I just don't appreciate the difference. God help us.

Superman has a nasty cough. It's being productive now; I'll spare you the details. The man coughs very loudly. I feel sorry for him. To lessen the chance of contamination he hasn't kissed me in a week. That right there sucks. He's right beside me, but I miss him. Does that make sense? I miss being closer. He's my spouse, but this feels a bit like roommates. Ah, well. He's getting better.

I have read a lot this week. Mostly gay romance. I needed something light and hadn't had a gay romance fix in a while. Problem is, when I'm really into a story I hate to stop so I end up staying up half (3/4ths? 7/8ths?) the night to finish the story. Even when the story isn't that good, dammit! My mom always reads when she goes to bed, but she falls asleep with the book in her hand. Me, I don't fall asleep. Occasionally I'll get tired enough to put the book down, but unless I'm totally spent my brain will keep me awake thinking about the story. In which case I might as well stay up and read, right? Superman, the dear, is able to sleep even if the bedside light is on. Bless his heart. He has no idea (I think) how late I was up last night (this morning). My point is that wow, I'm sleepy. Think I'll go ahead and post this, floss and brush my teeth, shove the cat out of my spot on the bed and go to sleep.

Java! Do NOT pick up your Kindle! 

I'm getting better

I feel better.

(cliche, I know)

Not well, exactly, but much better than yesterday. It was a good call, methinks, to stay in bed all day. I'm still very dizzy, but haven't had any cold medicine since early last evening. I slept most of the night without it. My lungs are still a bit touchy, but on the mend.

If I go ahead and allow myself to be sick when these things come upon me, I'm sick then I get better. I know of too many people who pushed themselves when they should have stayed abed who ended up doing permanent damage to their systems. A fella who used to work with Superman did that, and the illness, whatever it was, attacked his heart muscle leaving him unable to work. His heart had a fraction of its normal function. He had no stamina at all, couldn't walk more than a couple dozen feet before he'd get winded and have to rest. It was scary.

If I feel well enough I plan to drive up to Spartanburg this afternoon. PFLAG and I'm not sure what other organizations are sponsoring a screening of the movie Out In the Silence this evening there in Spartanburg.

Next week, if all goes according to plan, I will be in Spartanburg again for the USC Upstate Women's Studies' sponsored Bodies of Knowledge Symposium. I went a couple of years ago, but missed last year. That symposium was one of the factors that motivated me to go back to school. I hope it's as inspirational as it was before. I need some inspiration and direction for my academic and/or vocational path.

Superman and I had a good talk the other night about moving away from here. There are many many many many little details that we must address in order to make it a reality. Most of these details involve finishing up home-improvement projects around the house. We're both good at starting things, but not so good with follow-through. We need to finish whipping this house into shape and put it on the market. We're going to have to hire out a few jobs, but that's a good thing. I hope.

We are trapped here, in a sense. Superman has a good job with a good company. He likes it, he's good at it, and he's got very good insurance. He works for a pharmaceutical company, and one of the benefits is free prescription drugs. Any prescription, any brand, we get it free. Amazing, really. Twitch and I take some expensive psych drugs. Superman told me that our prescription drugs cost around $1200/month, give or take, depending on stuff. I don't think we could afford that if the whole thing came out-of-pocket, not without some fancy dancing, budget-wise.

Where we want to move, probably New England or slightly south of there, has a higher cost of living than we have here. What will that do? It depends on a bunch of stuff, like what kind of salary he can find, what kind of school/work situation I'm in, housing expenses, etc. It gets scary, I get overwhelmed, and I decide to think about it tomorrow. Really, though, we need to break it down into manageable chunks, do some research, and come up with a plan. That's on the agenda for another discussion, coming soon.

In the meantime, I have another exam in my Behavioral Stats class on Monday. Study study study!

Health update

I have a headache today. Been nagging at me since about 9 this morning. Took Tylenol at 11, but haven't had a chance to take anything since then, and it has gotten worse. So I just took more Tylenol. But all that reminded me that I haven't reported on my dizziness. So I will.
I'm not so dizzy anymore. Saw the doctor, he reduced my blood pressure med dose by half, and that evidently did it. The dizzies were caused by sudden drops in blood pressure. I go for a recheck next Tuesday.
I took a 10 day course of penicillin and that seems to have knocked out the head/chest cold. I needed to use my asthma inhaler for a few more days, just once or twice a day, but I haven't needed that most of this week. So except for this annoying headache, I'm much better. And the headache is just one of those things, it'll go away tonight or tomorrow and I'll be great. Just in case you were wondering.