My taste in humor

Does anyone know who writes this comic? I'd love to see more of his/her work, and want to give credit where credit is due.

Also, I find this extremely amusing. Funny, even.

Also also, I'm amused that I already have "ennui" as a tag on this blog.

UPDATE: A friend told me that this comic is Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal written by Zach Weiner. I think Superman and Light both read this one. I can see why.

'Tis past time for another post

And there is so much going on that I'd like to discuss. Actually, so much has happened in the last three months that I'm having trouble sorting it out to write about it.

Therefore, random thoughts:

I broke my toe on June 1st. Baby toe, right foot, by stubbing it on a chair leg. Sucker hurt for two months, but has healed now and no longer hurts when I twist the toe. Cutting that toenail was a bitch for a while.

I wrecked the car on the 20th of July in Clintonville, West Virginia. Clintonville is a wide spot in the road due east of Sam Black Church, West Virginia. Yep, the name of the hamlet/village/whistle-stop is Sam Black Church. That amuses me.

On the 20th of August the kids started the new school year. Praise all the possible gods. Much of July I spent trying to avoid my children. Took Sproing on a road trip to separate him and Diva. Left him with Light in Pennsylvania to get away from him. (Unfortunately, escaping from my kids also involved escaping from my husband, which I don't want to do. It was so good to get back with him.) Now that they are in school or en route from 7:30 til after 4:00, my life is much more peaceful. Though I dread the school bus bringing them home in the afternoon. Afternoons and evenings are long and tedious.

The week before school started was very difficult, children-wise. Well, mostly Diva. On Tuesday she shoved me into a wall and called me a 'ho. I called the police. On Thursday she attacked Superman, kicking and scratching and pulling at him. I called the police. When the police come out, we file complaints against her which are turned over to Dept. of Juvenile Justice (DJJ) who in turn send it to the solicitor's office. We've yet to see anything done in response to these complaints. I'm about ready for her to go to jail.

But since school started a week ago she's been fine. No fighting, no arguing, no back-talk, no cursing. She and Sproing are even getting along with each other. It's only a matter of time before she gets all Jerry Springer on us again. I enjoy her cooperative attitude, but I don't trust her. We're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm spent. Emotionally drained. Tired. Unmotivated to do much. There are things I'd like to accomplish around the house, but for the last week all I've done is sit in my chair and surf the internet or watch Netflix movies.

Right now the rest of the family is at home. Superman has a headache and is resting. The kids just washed my truck. I need to go check on that. Then I should do something about supper.

There is much more I want to discuss, stuff like feelings and observations, but that will have to wait for another time. It's time to get off my fat ass and do something useful.

A comfort car: sort of like comfort food, but not.

How I got home after crashing my car and being stranded in West Virginia

When we last heard from Java she had successfully completed the day in which she wrecked her car. 

Of course I had talked to Superman quite a few times that day. He decided to drive up and rescue me. That was the only viable option for getting me back home, really. He drove from Greenwood SC to Lewisburg WV on Saturday, arriving at 5:00 p.m. I was SO GLAD to see him! It had been two weeks since I last saw him, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed him. That, I think, is the longest we've been away from each other since we got married 29 years ago. He had it worse, of course, being the one left at home. I always miss him more when I'm the one at home and he's gone on some adventure.

I woke up Saturday morning with a very stiff and sore neck. I expected something like that would happen. My neck and shoulders ached. OTC pain relievers helped a good bit. Since I hadn't been able to poke around downtown Lewisburg as I had planned the day before, I went on down there and had a blast (until my pain reliever wore off). There were a few art galleries, some cute stores, antique shops,  little local restaurants - the kind of thing that makes these small towns so adorable.

I rambled along until I came to an Irish pub called The Irish Pub. It was 2:00, my neck hurt again, and I was hungry. So I got a bowl of red beans and rice (spicy! Superman would have liked it more than I did. I ate it all, though.) and a beer. Because hey, it's a pub. Sat at the bar next to an interesting character. I refer to him as "the stoner." He's supposed to be starting med school in the fall. My prediction is that he won't get far in that endeavor. But I could be wrong. It was interesting dinner conversation, for sure. And let me tell ya', beer is great for a sore neck! That one beer (I was driving or I'd have had two) helped my neck about as much as the pain reliever did. The beneficial effect didn't last as long, though.

I went back to the hotel to wait for Superman. What a sight for sore eyes when he drove up! Oh, I was so glad to be back in his presence. He said pretty much the same thing. He does not do well when we are apart.

I took him back to the The Irish Pub for supper, because damn! They had a live band playing traditional Irish tunes on various stringed instruments and a drum. And Superman tried Bushmills Whiskey. He doesn't drink much liquor. Had tried whiskey before but it was cheap nasty stuff. But someone told him that Bushmills was good, and he had a shot. He says Bushmills is good! I had another beer, but just one because I was driving. We had a really good time.

I talked him into staying an extra day. He originally planned to drive back home Sunday, but I wanted to show him the nifty stuff I'd seen there in West Virginia, and I wanted to spend some quality time with him before returning to all those home responsibilities, you know? So we had a lovely day Sunday and drove home on Monday. This is the first time in, I dunno, more than a decade that he and I have had a few days alone together. Man, it was great! Diva stayed home with C, who didn't supervise her very well and she stayed up until 5 a.m. watching TV. Oh well. Superman and I got to spend some time alone together!

Today Superman and I are driving up to Light's place. Sproing is still there with her, and he needs to come home. She says he's eaten her out of house and home. He's 14. You know. They're getting along well, though. And Light is moving out of her current place. Daddy and Sproing are going to help her move. Mom is going to sit in the air conditioned cafe and drink coffee and surf the interwebs while those other brave souls are moving heavy boxes in the hot summer sun.

Originally the plan was for Superman to go up by himself and me to stay home with the Diva. After being apart for so long, we don't want to be away from each other. So I've engaged a young lady of our acquaintance to stay here with Diva (one who will supervise her better than C does, I think) while the two of us go back to Pennsylvania. And we're taking two days to get up there. It's a lovely, comfortable drive for two days, and a hell of a push for one day. With Sproing along on the return trip we will probably push it in one day.

And that's about all I know for now. And now you know the story of my exciting adventurous vacation.
The End.

Not Tuesday, but here with more of the story

Sorry about the not Tuesday thing. I got distracted. Again. So it's Saturday and I will continue the story about the car crash.

When we left our heroine, the folks with flashy lights on their vehicles had arrived on the scene. The sheriff's representative was tall, kind of broad but not thick, with a blonde crew cut. And was in uniform, which always helps, right? He was very friendly. He was handsome but not Hollywood drop dead gorgeous. Two EMTs arrived in the ambulance. One was a woman (Shirley?) who is even larger than I am. Very nice, too. She drove the ambulance. The other fella, and I can't now remember his name, looked a bit like a Bubba, though clean and professional. He wore a Bubba cap a lot like this one. It may have been camo.  The guy's teeth looked somewhat like Mater's, but more crooked. And he was missing one just right of the front tooth.   
In other words, he looked like what I expected from West Virginia. He was probably 5'10" at the most, and had a nice spare tire around the middle. He was super nice, though, and very professional. He was obviously a lot smarter than my image of a Bubba. We had a lovely chat on the way to the hospital.

Let's see... I had two nurses and a nurse practitioner at the hospital. One of the nurses was a middle aged lady, brunette, who was very friendly (they all were, you know) and looked a lot like a nurse, but with a bright flowery scrub top, not a white uniform. The other nurse was a silver bear of a man with a brush mustache. His hair was white! The nurse practitioner was a very handsome middle aged gent, most distinguished. He had a mustache, too, and his hair was a graying light brown. I didn't see him for very long, and he was standing close to me, poking at my head. I didn't get a really good look at him, though I noticed he was a tall bear.

Finally after all the x-rays and more cups of water and more trips to the bathroom, the doctor showed up. He stood in the doorway, looked at my chart, asked a few questions, and said something like "It's all good." Not exactly like that, of course, but that's the message in a nutshell. This fella, whose name, according to the name on my wrist band as attending physician, was John Johnson, and was smokin' hot! He wore plain green scrubs and was small in stature with slightly curly deep black hair. Are you familiar with Dr. McDreamy? This guy looked similar, but smaller.

So I'd been inspected and declared OK. I could leave the hospital, but go where? Well, I thought, "What would an adult do in this situation?" Time for a rental car. There were a few ladies at the check-in window of the emergency department who were extremely kind and helpful. They informed me of the rental car places at the airport, and called a cab for me. Get this: the name of the cab company is "Cosmic Cab." Duuude! The cab was a minivan, looked pretty normal despite the Cosmic name. So out to the airport, which was tiny! Real airplanes fly in and out! Both United and Delta have service there. The check-in area had maybe three desk thingies, and was separated from the baggage claim area by a set of doors leading out to the tarmac. Quite simple. Quaint, even. But I was there for a car, not a plane ride. I had called ahead to make sure an agent was there and had a car available. Didn't want to pay for a ride to the airport for nothing. Wasn't that responsible adult of me?

So I did the rental car thing, got a Toyota Camry. It's a much nicer car than the Chevrolet Aveo, let me tell ya. The trunk is almost big enough for the Aveo to fit in, and the Camry is not a large car. I drove out to the middle of nowhere to the tow truck guy's place and he helped me move my junk into the Camry. Then we stood in his driveway for an hour and chatted. He's an interesting character, and lots of fun to talk to. Not a particularly handsome guy. He looks like a tow truck driver. But super friendly.

I drove back into Lewisburg to get a motel room. Went into the cheap-but-not-desperate place and asked "Do you have a room?" and he said "Nope." Oops. Really? Really. There is one exit off the interstate for Lewisburg and of course all the hotel/motel chains are right there. If he's full, probably every other hotel is full, too. He confirmed this. Then I told him my sad tale of being in a car crash earlier that day, being stranded in town and not knowing anyone, etc. He ended up giving me a room that was reserved for someone who didn't come in. Or something. I don't know how these things work, but I suspect he had a couple of rooms available that he was holding back for, what? A better offer? Anyway, I got a room. And then I finally went to supper. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, when I fixed myself scrambled egg with tomato, mushroom, and onion and a few pieces of toast with apple butter before I checked out of the cabin. Remember how this day started at the rustic one-room cabin in the state park? It was a really long day. And I needed food.

The room key card was also a 10% off coupon for the Applebee's down the road. Boo-yah! Shrimp fettuccine here I come! I changed clothes before going to dinner, and made such a mess of my shirt with the fettuccine that I couldn't wear it again before washing it. Oy.

Then I went back to the room and finally went to bed. It was a very long day.

But wait, how did I get back home to South Carolina? The rental car was not a one-way rental, and I wasn't supposed to leave the state. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode in Java's dramatic vacation!

P.S. Ur-Spo, I didn't think about this as a blog post until I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. "My first view of Lewisburg was from the back of an ambulance."

How to tell your loved ones that you've been in a car crash

1. Wait at least three hours after the wreck to talk to any of them, if possible. Unless you are badly injured, you usually have a pretty good handle on things after three or four hours and have the answers to the questions you know they will ask.

2. When you call, ask the loved one questions about his or her life. "How is school going for you this term?" "Did you finish that project you were doing at work?" Let the loved one talk about him/her self for a few minutes.

3. Ease into it:"Well, honey, I've spent longer in Lewisburg, WV  than I originally intended." 

4. Obfuscate if necessary: "I have unwittingly participated in your vehicle replacement program*." 


5. Once the loved one in question realizes what you mean, begin to repeat "I'm OK. I'm fine. Just a couple of bumps and bruises. No, really, I'm fine. Yes, they checked me over at the hospital. Yes, really, I'm fine." 


6. Lovingly cut the conversation short. The loved one needs time to process the information. Call him or her back in half an hour or so and repeat most of the facts you already told him/her in the previous call, because he/she asked, but was too freaked out to hear your answers. 




Some of the facts:
On Friday morning, 20 July 2012, at approximately 10:00 I was driving on US Highway 60 in West Virginia.  It's very mountainous terrain, lots of curves in the road (the kind of road I love to drive!) and it was raining. In the area they call Clintonville I took a curve a bit too fast for conditions. I thought I was OK, but the curve in the road got much sharper once it passed the rock wall that hid the road ahead. Also, the slope of the road got steeper as the curve got sharper. I lost control of the car (the little Aveo) and it slid toward a narrow ditch and slammed into the embankment on the other side of the ditch. As happens with these things, it all went very fast. The car hit the earth on the left front corner. No air bag deployed. I could open the doors just fine. No glass broke.  The car was at a sharp angle, leaning to the right. Rather than climb up out of the driver's side, I slid down and out of the passenger side, but not immediately.

I found my glasses first. They'd been thrown off my face and were on the down side of the front seat area, resting neatly on a towel. Then I got my phone and called 9-1-1. I didn't know where I was, though. Knew what highway, knew some of the little towns I had passed, but didn't know exactly where. A short while later a very nice young woman stopped and called 9-1-1 again to tell them where I was. Clintonville, WV. Nondescript from a cityscape point of view. Otherwise very mountainous and absolutely beautiful.

After impact there was lots of smoke/steam coming from under the hood for a few minutes. It didn't enter the cockpit and didn't smell dangerous. (How do I know what "dangerous" smells like? I dunno.) And the smoke cleared soon. So I just stayed in the car for a while. It was raining outside, I was relatively comfortable, I knew I wouldn't be able to get back into the car comfortably, and I was afraid to look at the extent of the damage. So I waited in the car. This nice young woman stopped, then another older man stopped too. I finally got out of the car. They both insisted on waiting with me until the folks with flashing lights on their cars arrived. Both these people were super nice. Actually, everyone I have encountered throughout this whole ordeal has been very friendly and helpful. I'm very impressed with southeast West Virginia.

Briefly on to the next few points: Corporal with the Sheriff's dept. came, interesting local tow truck driver character came, EMTs finally arrived. The tow truck man, Randy, towed the car to his lot. The EMTs took me to the emergency department in their ambulance. Emergency department was super busy for some reason I don't understand. I ended up waiting, being seen, waiting, getting X-rays, waiting, finally seeing the doctor. Was there for 4 hours (which may not be all that long, comparatively, but I hadn't been able to call Superman yet).

It's late now. I have to get up early in the morning, take care of the rest of this business then be on the road home. I will pick up the rest of the story very soon (hopefully!), within the next couple of days. Before the end of the day Tuesday, how 'bout?


* Superman has what I call a vehicle replacement program that I do not endorse. It involves him wrecking a car that we then have to replace. He's done this I think three times in the last 15 or so years. Twice the accidents were not his fault. But still...

Finally on my own! (for a little while)

I am writing this from the most adorable coffee shop called The Cathedral Cafe in downtown Fayetteville, West Virginia. I am staying in Babcock State Park in southeast West Virginia in the cutest little rustic cabin. It's a one room cabin with full kitchen, bunk double beds (low clearance) and a lovely screened porch. I took pictures until my camera batteries died. Batteries are on my list of things to get today while I'm out. The cabin has a small (and I mean small) bathroom tacked on as if an afterthought. It has a small shower stall, a low toilet, and a small sink that I wash my face in while sitting on the toilet. Convenient, no? 

On my list of things to do today: go to this café, enjoy the stained glass windows and coffee, and get online! (Except right now the internet connection has gone flunky, so I’m typing this on a word doc until I can hook up again.) I also need to find a laundromat. I stopped at the library in here in Fayetteville to inquire about a laundromat. Nope. No such creature in this town. The nice library man gave me directions to a laundromat in Oak Hill, about five miles down the highway. It’s across the street from a Rite Aid, which is cool because I need one of those too.

I got myself some healthy food at the grocery when I tumbled into town on Tuesday. Or maybe I went Wednesday morning after a good night sleep since I got to the cabin at 8:00 p.m. I don’t remember, honestly. I fixed myself a grilled chicken salad last night, grilling the chicken on the charcoal grill outside my cabin beside the picnic table. Cool beans! Tonight I intend to have a veggie burger (grilled: see above). There’s leftover salad for lunch, or to accompany the burger. I also have plans for an omelet with mushrooms, onions, and tomato.

I leave tomorrow (Friday). Heading back home, where I will once again be reunited with Superman. He and I are both looking forward to that. Before coming to West Virginia I was in Indiana, Pennsylvania with my darling Light. Tuesday was her 23^rd birthday. I was there that morning, left shortly after noon. It was very good to see her.

The ostensible reason for this trip is to take Sproing to Pennsylvania to spend a couple of weeks with his sister Light, away from his sister Diva. Which I did. Sproing and I left South Carolina on Saturday, July 7^th and headed south to Florida. Saw Mama in the Orlando area, my brother Mike came down to hang with us Sunday. On Tuesday Sproing and I went to Gainesville to see my dad and brother. We left there … Thursday? I can’t remember exactly. It took us two days to get from Gainesville, Florida to Indiana, Pennsylvania. By the time we got to Light’s place Sproing and I had traveled together 1700 miles. That’s a loooooooong way to spend in the car with a hyperactive 14 year old!!! We were both tired of being with each other by the time we got to Light’s place.

I am an introvert. We’ve had this discussion before, I believe. That means I like to spend time alone. From the 7^th until the 17^th of July I was in almost constant contact with Sproing. I love the kid, and usually like him pretty well. But my gods! He’s high energy and high maintenance. Light is also a joy to be with, but after so many many many days of not having any alone time I was going bugnuts! As much as I love that girl, I was very glad to leave. I’ve been alone almost constantly since I left her place Tuesday afternoon. Relief!

From all accounts Sproing and Light are doing well together. I set Sproing up with a short term guest membership at the fitness center where Light goes. He spends lots of time over there! He really likes it. When I went to see him there Tuesday morning he was doing drills with one of the guys who works there. They seem to have taken a liking to him, and I believe he’s doing very well. He wants more money so he can join some kind of class there. Light is working with him on that. I left her money to help with his expenses. She’s bribing him daily with an allowance that’s tied to his behavior. She’s such a smart girl.

On the home front, Diva is behaving perfectly for her daddy. Pisses me off, though I’m glad she’s being easy for Superman. Superman himself is doing pretty well. He got sick yesterday, finally. Seems to be some kind of short viral thing. He always gets sick when I leave him. This time he lasted 2.5 weeks before getting sick! I’m so impressed. And this is the longest I’ve ever been away from him, if I recall. It’s hard on him. I’m having a blast, though I miss him. When I’m the one who is away, I don’t have trouble. When he’s gone and I’m at home, I don’t do so well. Especially if he leaves me with those wicked children. Poor guy. I go home tomorrow. I miss him a lot. I wish he could be here with me. We’d have lots of fun in the state park. I think he’d like the cabin, mostly. The low clearance on the bed would be troublesome. He’s a tall fella. I told him that we need to come back in the fall, just the two of us, and get a cabin for a long weekend. Or a whole week! We could get one of the cabins that isn’t so rustic and maybe has a bed that isn’t stacked.

I’m rambling. Again. And I need to do my laundry and get back to the cabin for lunch. So I’m off. Suppose I’ll post again when I get home, probably over the weekend. I expect to be home late tomorrow, as I want to check out another cute town in the other direction from the park on my way out of West Virginia.

I must say, West Virginia sure is beautiful. It has a bad reputation for some things, for sure, but it is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. 

Quote of the day

Today's Inspirational Quote:

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."
-- John Lennon



I see how this is working in my life right now. My life is currently dominated by fear (see all posts labeled "Diva") and my creative production is down to diddly. Makes me mad. 


I have much to say about the current Diva situation. I'm working on a post about what has transpired with regards to her recent activities. So far all the work has happened in my head. I hope to get something up here by the end of today. Wish me luck. 

Briefly, with bullet points

• OK, I like bullet points. 
• Diva went apeshit on me again today. She's currently spending the night in the psych wing of the emergency department at the hospital, where she will be further evaluated by the staff psychiatrist and the department of mental health in the morning. They will decide what to do with her. We suspect she'll be placed in another psychiatric residential facility. If I feel up to it I'll post more details of the precipitating events of this week. Short story: she attacked me again. Not as bad as last time, but seriously, how bad does it have to be? 
• I'm kinda stressed. 
• Have "entertained" 5 members of the city police department over the last two days in regards to Diva. Four of them came in response to Monday afternoon's call. 
• Having trouble concentrating. 
• Am really tired all of a sudden. It's time for sleep. 

You are what you eat

... or so they say.

I am trying to develop better eating habits. I have a thing for sweets, especially baked goods. These things are not very good for me. For the last month or so I've eliminated red meat from my diet, concentrating on fish and poultry instead. Actually, for the past year or two (or maybe longer) I have cut back on how much meat I eat. I'm eating even less meat now.

And I'm trying to add more vegetables to my diet. The problem is that I don't like vegetables. It's really hard to be a vegetarian if you don't like vegetables. Sometimes I'll have a 12 oz. can of V-8. That's two servings of veggies! If it's nice and cold I can swig it down so fast I almost don't taste it. If my taste buds are used to lots of sweets, like they have been, then veggies are a hard sell. I know that if I cut out the sugar, then other stuff will taste good. Haven't been totally successful with that yet.

This morning I went to the local farmer's market, opened on Wednesdays and Saturdays near our neighborhood. I bought three tomatoes, a small yellow squash, small zucchini squash, string beans, and a pint of blueberries. Then I went to the grocery for bagged lettuces, strawberries, carrots, and dairy products. Here's my plan: cut the squash into small pieces and saute them with onion and mushrooms. Add that to a can of spaghetti sauce and any other left-over red sauce we happen to have in the 'fridge, and it's the sauce for lasagna. I got ricotta, mozzarella, and "Italian blend" cheeses at the grocery, and some large pasta shells as well. So I might do stuffed shells, or if we have lasagna noodles (and I think we do) I'll slap together a lasagna. My kids are particularly fond of lasagna, and if I hide the squash in it, they probably won't notice. We'll have salad also, and both of these young'uns kinda like salad. 


Superman is out of town for a few days. He's gone up to visit Light in Pennsylvania. He's driving back on July 4th. I hope that, being the actual holiday, the traffic won't be too bad on the 4th. He'll be home for a couple of days before I leave him again. I'm taking Sproing to Florida to visit my family for a week, then we're driving up to Pennsylvania to see Light. The darling Light has volunteered to keep Sproing for a couple of weeks. So I'll leave him there and come back home. Superman will drive back up there at the end of July to help Light move into new digs, and to bring Sproing back to SC. It's a travel-heavy month, July. I'm glad gas prices are down, and hope they stay low. 


And yes it is hot here, but no hotter than most of the rest of this half of the U.S. I got out early this morning to do my shopping before it got too terrible. It was about 80 deg. when I went to the farmer's market. They're predicting 106 or 107, depending on the source of predictions, for today. Yesterday's high was 106. I'm staying inside as much as possible. One good thing, though; the humidity isn't terribly high. So it's hot, but it's sort of a dryer heat, at least for these parts. Of course I don't like it and want to move north to avoid this foolishness. I'm going to try not to complain too much about the heat this summer. Wish me luck. Oh, I'll hate it just as much, but I'm trying not to dwell on it in print (here and on Facebork).