Lightheartedness in attempt to fool my brain

Inspired by Tornwordo over at Sticky Crows, I bring you this:

There is some discussion over at Sticky Crows as to what exactly this might mean.  Even the native Canadian French-speaking Serge doesn't know.  

I think it means "Don't use wrenches to disassemble the French"

In other news, I'm still going insane.  Screaming out loud today.  Banging my head.  But having a lovely time reading the blogs.

Run away screaming

But actually if I ran away I'd probably not be screaming. I'd stop screaming. Which infers that I'm screaming now.  Well, I am, but only in my head. I haven't screamed out loud yet today. Yet.  

I also didn't smack Sproing this morning. Kudos to me.  

Superman has taken the lot of them to church this morning. He was sweet, encouraging, said he was taking them away. I told him not to bring them back.

I'm feeling particularly ugly today. Mean. Snarly.  

I want to get in my truck and drive north. I have no where to go, precisely. I often have a desired destination when I wish to depart. Today I don't. I just want to drive away. Good thing gas is so damned expensive, huh? Or else I might really go.  

No I wouldn't. I'm too responsible. I'll stay here. My body will be here. My heart will be on the road. My head will be in torment.  

Want-to-go-but-didn't is the theme for my late summer. I wanted to go to Chicago in August, but didn't. I wanted to go, again, to Chicago in early September, but didn't. Yesterday I wanted to go to the South Carolina Pride celebration in Columbia (the state capitol) but didn't. There's a whole big world out there. Here I sit. Stuck. Trapped.  

Sometimes "trapped" is a state of mind. I can be anywhere and experience refreshing enlightening discoveries. Read a book, take a class (or five), get involved in the community. Live life where I am. Eh. Screw it.

Maybe I need a new wardrobe. OK, I know I need a new wardrobe. Comfortable stuff that fits and doesn't look like rags. Most of my comfortable stuff looks like rags. Like the dress I'm wearing now. Used to be a nice jumper, but it's worn out. I like it, though. I should get set up to sew. Sewing would probably make me feel better.  I'll tell you a secret. The reason I want to sew up some new clothes is so I'll have something halfway decent to wear when I run away.

The blog is a great resource. I can shoot these thoughts out into the ether and you read them. Maybe I get some feedback. It's better than simple journaling because these words actually reach other real people. It's more powerful, or something.

miserere 

AAARRGGGHHHH!!!! He got me!

He got me fair and square, too.  I ran a red light.  Not on purpose!  On my way to pick up Twitch from school I was stopped at a traffic light, the first vehicle in line in the right lane.  The left turn lane got a green arrow, and I started across the intersection.  I realized about half way through the intersection what I was doing, and by then it was too late.  And there was a police cruiser within sight.  Sigh.  The guys were very nice, though.  They did give me a citation, but only cited me for careless driving, a city ordinance.  They could have charged me with disreguarding a traffic signal, which is a state law and puts 4 points on the driver's license.  The city ordinance puts no points on my license, but carries a fine of $130.  I think I got off pretty easy, actually, and am quite thankful for it.  

And right now I just want to stay home.  I feel like a damned fool.

25 things a gentleman should know how to do

I know I just did a meme, but this one looks too fun to pass up. It helps me feel more secure in my masculinity.

Stolen from MikeSays, who stole it from UrSpo. 

You copy the list and bold the ones you can do.

1. Change a flat tire - It's been a while, but I can do it.
   
2. Tie a bow tie
   
3. Carve a turkey
   
4. Open a bottle of champagne - How else can I drink it?
   
5. Change the oil in a car – Have changed Manny's oil.
   
6. If asked, you know the name of a good barber – by "barber" does that include the fabulous stylist at my salon? His name is John and he's adorable.
   
7. Have a tailor who knows your measurements
   
8. Tie a bowline, clove hitch, and a square knot – Learned the bowline, but forget now how to tie it. I know the others, though.
   
9. Chop wood – Not well, but I can if necessary.
   
10. Shoot a rifle – Pretty well, last time I did.
    
11. Make a dry martini – Clueless. I can do a good Rum and Pepsi, though!
    
12. Keep a checkbook balanced – With debit cards and online banking it isn't the same. It's been a while, but I've done it.
    
13. BBQ
    
14. Lay a fire – Quite well, if I say so myself
    
15. Change a fuse
    
16. Polish shoes
    
17. Have the ability to read stock quotes in the business section
    
18. Keep score at a baseball game – I can't judge errors, though.
    
19. Jump-start a car – Have I mentioned Manny? I need to do this sometimes in order to drive Manny.  I've also had to jumpstart the cars of my teenagers.
    
20. Know how to throw a punch
    
21. Own a tuxedo – Never had the need, don't expect to.
    
22. Know how to judge a new wine
    
23. Do your own taxes at least once in your life – Does the 1040-EZ count? Probably couldn't do my taxes now, but I could before my finances got so complicated.
    
24. Know how to play poker
    
25. Carry a handkerchief

This just in

ISTANBUL (Reuters) - A small hotel on Turkey's Mediterranean coast has fired all its male employees for repeatedly having affairs with foreign female guests, the manager said on Wednesday.

Pelin Yucel, manager of Image Hotel in Marmaris, said her 27-room hotel now only employs female staff. Most of the guests are British and Russian tourists, she said.

"We had been facing the same problem every year but after the last incident we decided to run the hotel by only female staff," she told Reuters by phone.

"The last straw was when I saw our bartender, who was a very decent man, walk out of the bathroom with a British tourist," Yucel was quoted in the media as saying.

Around 20 million tourists visited Turkey last year, many of them drawn by its sandy beaches and turquoise waters.

(Editing by Paul Casciato)

© Thomson Reuters 2008 All rights reserved

Well, if she fired the philandering male staff, what's the purpose of going to that hotel anymore?  She obviously didn't realize what a good thing she had going there.  

This'n'that

My teeth are so clean!  I love how my teeth feel after I've been to the dentist for a cleaning.  Yes, I saw the dentist this morning.  It's a lovely office, the staff is so friendly.  My dentist wasn't in today, so one of the other dentists checked my teeth.  I have a cavity, dammit.  I don't floss often enough. I go back next Tuesday to get it filled.  But right now I am full of teh happy for my dentist's office.  

It's beginning to feel just a little bit like fall!  Finally.  It is nearly cool today.  We're having a dreary drizzly day, the second in a row.  This is the kind of weather that induces me to go to bed.  It's a good day for napping or making whoopie.  Then napping.  We'll see what we can do.  Superman comes home for lunch.  Hmmmm.

Good news!  S got a job!  Yes!  He had an interview yesterday with the HR lady from K-Mart, and was hired then and there.  It's conditional on passing a background check; standard proceedure.  I'm thrilled!  He's thrilled.  C is thrilled.  There's a lot of thrill going on around here. 

 

I broke the washing machine.  S and Superman say that it wasn't my fault, that it just happened. On Monday I put a load in and started it up.  Evidently I got the thing too full or something, which is hard to do with a front loader like we have.  It seems to have gotten off balance though, and neither S nor I heard it.   S went back there to check on the washer's availability and found the dryer, which sits on top of the washer, was nearly knocked off the washer and leaning against the wall!  He put the dryer back upright, then noticed that the washer door was ajar.  The latch was broken.

It won't run at all if the door isn't closed, and with a broken latch the door won't close.  Grrr.  I called my washer repair man Monday afternoon, and he came yesterday evening and replaced the latch.  That's all that was wrong with it, just the damned latch.  This is the 4th latch that washer has had!!  The first two we broke by slamming the door too hard.  But everyone has been much better about treating in gently, so I don't know what happened this time.  The repair guy (yesterday's He-ro of the day) said he has never had to replace a latch on any other Whirlpool Duet washers, just this one. Strange. Gremlins or something, maybe.   Anyway, it works again (YAY!!) and I should be washing clothes right now.  Instead I am blogging.  

Do you recall when Manny's windshield cracked?  Well Monday I finally got a new windshield!  The window in the driver's side door shattered last week when I slammed the door too hard.  (Are we noticing a theme here?)  So we had to call the insurance dude about that, and Superman had them fix the windshield at the same time.  I have a new windshield with no big crack and no scratched and pitted surface!! It has been a joy to drive since then.  Sort of. Manny is having some starting issues.  Manny often has issues, you know.  He has issues with his windshield wipers, too.  Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.  So far they've always worked on high, so I'm not going to do anything about it just yet.  It'll do.

I got a text yesterday morning about 11:30 from Twitch.  It said to pick him up at 12:30, they were being dismissed early.  WTF?  No other info, nuthin.  I called the bus office to see what was happening.  The boss told me the power had gone out in the school building, not to worry, all was well.  When I get a cryptic text with news like that, I worry that there's some kind of hostage situation, or a dirty bomb, or a massive structural fire, or a major terrorist threat.  I'm a mother.  We do these things.  Thankfully I know where to go for info.  So Twitch got to come home three hours early yesterday.  He was very thankful because he was supposed to give a presentation in Economics class, and he wasn't ready for it.  Because of the power outage, he got a day's reprieve.  I'm not entirely sure he used it wisely, though.  He may very well not be ready for the presentation  today, either.  He is like that sometimes.  

It was pretty cool, actually, and I didn't have to worry about picking him up later in the afternoon.  We went out to Sonic for lunch, then came home and I took a nap.  It was loverly.  

 

I think that's about all I've got.  More updates as the situation warrants.  Film at 11.

Google Image meme

1 What will your age be at next birthday? 47

2 Where would you like to travel? Lots of places!

Narrowing it down to one, I'm going to say Scotland. Although I'd like to go to France, Canada New Zealand, and lots of other places Idon't even know about yet!  And those are some international destinations.  It doesn't touch on all the places I want to visit within the United States.

3 What is your favorite place? 

The mountains!

4 What is your favorite food? Please.  

5 What is your favorite pet? 

 There are many kinds of pets I like.  I'm definitely a dog person, but since our old dog died very recently I am now enjoying the ease of not taking care of a dog.  I like cats but am allergic to them, so that's a conflict.  Fish are nice, pretty and very quiet.  Right now, though, I'd like to have a small bird, something simple but friendly enough to interact with. Perhaps a parakeet?

6 What is your favorite color combination? I like so many different colors and the combinations of colors can be magical.  Today my favorite is blue and green.

 Madagascar in Blue and Green

7 What is your favorite piece of clothing? Loose long flowing skirts!

8 What is your favorite song?  It varies, and depends on my mood.  One of  my perennial favorites is, well, pretty much anything by Simon and Garfunkel, but Scarboro Fair ranks way up close to the top.

9 What is your favorite TV show?  I currently don't watch any television show regularly.  

There have been times past when I did, but even those shows hold little or no appeal to me now.

10 What's the name of your first significant other? 

 Rohan.  In doing this image search all I found was the character from one of

the online interactive role playing games.  And this Rohan is a girl.  The Rohan I dated was my sweetheart my senior year in high school. 

 He was originally from Jamaica, but had come to the states as a young schoolboy.   He was tall, had skin the color of coffee with just a bit of cream in it, and sexy full lips.  This is not the first boy I was ever in love with, nor the first I was involved with, but he was my first significant other, the first one who would considered me significant as well.  

11 Name the town where you live.

Greenwood.  It's in The South.  The town and the county share the same name.  That happens a lot in South Carolina.

12 What is your screen/blog name? Java.  Java as in coffee.  Do you know how tricky it is to find an image of java online that doesn't include the JavaScript logo?

13 What was the first job you had?  I babysat.  I did some form of babysitting, including work as a nanny, my first few jobs.  I haven't had very many jobs, either.  

14 What is your dream job?   Well, this another one that is hard to answer.  I would like to be involved in some helpful capacity with the lgbt community.  What immediately comes to mind is working in some advisory/counseling capacity in an lgbt center.  But I don't know enough about the things I need to know about to know if that's a good fit for me.  It's a start, I suppose.

15 What is one bad habit you have?   Taking things to excess.  Not putting appropriate limits on myself sometimes.

16 What is your worst fear?  This is tough.  It's a vague, nonspecific fear.  I don't fear speaking in public, or death.  I am uncomfortable with heights, bridges, elevators, crowds.  But none of these is my worst fear.  I fear failure.  Failure at what?  I don't know, life maybe?  As I said, vague.

17 Name one thing you want to do before you die.  There are a few, but this is a biggie.  I want to see the Southern Cross.  Which of course means I want to go to the southern hemisphere.  New Zealand, specifically.

18 What is the first thing you would do or buy if you received $1,000,000?

Pay off all of our debts!

19 What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your significant other?

 My sexy Superman!

20 What present do you want for your next birthday?

This is the rural South

Here are a few more photos from that bone store where Light and I practiced our photography. This is the basket of flowers that was hanging from the porch roof.  I don't recognize them. Anyone have a clue?  

This wasp and a few of his closest friends were having a nectar party among the blooms.

The south end of the porch

This was prominently displayed beside the entrance to the store.

What do you think?

Here's a distance shot of the components of the previous two pictures.  I have no clue what the idea is with that pole and the reflectors (they might be lights), but there is a skull at the top, if that helps any.  The gallows to the left is, I believe, a hoist used to weigh and measure game. There are antlers all over it.  The shot above was taken from directly under the boom.  It's difficult to see the antlers in the photo below.   They may be more obvious in an embiggened image.  Go ahead, click if you dare.

We can also assume from this photo that the place sells 7-Up, and that a pack of Marlboro cigs is $2.95.  The photo below shows the edge of the roof upon which the bleached bones of the community's victims lie.  It does not appear as though the building was constructed with much attention to asthetic beauty or structural integrity. 

P.S.  The pictures don't seem to be able to embiggen.  Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. 

From the Halls of Academia to the Bones of Cattle Dead

I spent part of the day Thursday with Light.  I decided on the spur of the moment Wednesday night to go visit her Thursday.  It was good.  We didn't spend much time together, but it was very enjoyable.  I ate lunch in the dining hall on campus.  That was interesting.  The best part of lunch was seeing so many of her friends.  Young college women can be a lot of fun to hang out with. 

I have mentioned that she is attending a women's college.  I bring this up again as I show you the door to one of the venerable old buildings on campus.  As we walked through the door I noticed these features.  I stopped three steps into the lobby and said "Wait.  The door has nipples.

I must get a picture of this."  So I did.  Here it is, the nippled door.

It is an older school, with many lovely old buildings.  The thing about old buildings is that they suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous entropy.  One of the buildings in the old part of campus is receiving a major renovation.  For the safety of the ladies (or perhaps the safety of the building) there is a makeshift fence surrounding it.  I saw this.

I wasn't able to get one of the effects I was after.  The two sections of fence are aged differently. The part on the left is newer and shiny, and to the right the metal is more matted from oxidation.  I like the way the coils of the chain link seem to be reaching for each other, yet fail to connect.  Is it coming together, or parting asunder?  

The atmosphere of a college, this one anyway, is different from what I encounter in the rest of my daily ramblings.  As an example, I present this note taped over the paper towel dispenser in the bathroom of the library.

A message of this nature would be worded differently in most other places I frequent.  The fun thing about this, though, is that it's the sort of phrasing that Superman and I use all the time.   Do I make the point that I feel very comfortable in the university environment?

The rest of these photos are from a couple of weeks ago when Light came home for the weekend. That's when she came home to get her new glasses.  Did I mention that she's taking a photography class this semester?  It's all black and white photography with a manual 35mm camera.  Those things are expensive!!  She got this one from a local camera store, used.  It was nearly $400!  On our way back to school Sunday afternoon we stopped for her to take some pictures.  We see here a photographer in her natural habitat-

And here's a picture of what she's photographing.  There's this little old store in a wide spot in the road.  It seems to mostly sell fishing bait and other fishing or hunting supplies.  There are all these bones spread out on the roof of the building.  Mostly cattle skeletons.  I think it was originally only skulls, but now there are bones from many different sections of the cattle.  This is a lower roof over part of the building that seems to have been built on as an afterthought.  There are many pieces of cow hips and backbone on this section of roof.

The shot below, in the center of the field, I tried to capture three skulls in a row.  It might look better embiggened, but I didn't have the angle I was after.  I'm too short.

There are some other shots I took of the front of the store, in addition to a hanging plant I'd like help identifying.  It's too late to work those in right now.  Perhaps I'll write another post later with the other pictures.    TTFN

Good stuff from Mama

She's finally sent me another gem.  I've discarded a lot of smarmy stuff since the last good one.  Hope you enjoy it also.

As I Mature-

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to distroy it.

I've learned you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.  After that you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned you shouldn't compare yourself to others.  They are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you are finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. 

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.