I also didn't smack Sproing this morning. Kudos to me.
Superman has taken the lot of them to church this morning. He was sweet, encouraging, said he was taking them away. I told him not to bring them back.
I'm feeling particularly ugly today. Mean. Snarly.
I want to get in my truck and drive north. I have no where to go, precisely. I often have a desired destination when I wish to depart. Today I don't. I just want to drive away. Good thing gas is so damned expensive, huh? Or else I might really go.
No I wouldn't. I'm too responsible. I'll stay here. My body will be here. My heart will be on the road. My head will be in torment.
Want-to-go-but-didn't is the theme for my late summer. I wanted to go to Chicago in August, but didn't. I wanted to go, again, to Chicago in early September, but didn't. Yesterday I wanted to go to the South Carolina Pride celebration in Columbia (the state capitol) but didn't. There's a whole big world out there. Here I sit. Stuck. Trapped.
Sometimes "trapped" is a state of mind. I can be anywhere and experience refreshing enlightening discoveries. Read a book, take a class (or five), get involved in the community. Live life where I am. Eh. Screw it.
Maybe I need a new wardrobe. OK, I know I need a new wardrobe. Comfortable stuff that fits and doesn't look like rags. Most of my comfortable stuff looks like rags. Like the dress I'm wearing now. Used to be a nice jumper, but it's worn out. I like it, though. I should get set up to sew. Sewing would probably make me feel better. I'll tell you a secret. The reason I want to sew up some new clothes is so I'll have something halfway decent to wear when I run away.
The blog is a great resource. I can shoot these thoughts out into the ether and you read them. Maybe I get some feedback. It's better than simple journaling because these words actually reach other real people. It's more powerful, or something.
miserere
