I also didn't smack Sproing this morning. Kudos to me.
Superman has taken the lot of them to church this morning. He was sweet, encouraging, said he was taking them away. I told him not to bring them back.
I'm feeling particularly ugly today. Mean. Snarly.
I want to get in my truck and drive north. I have no where to go, precisely. I often have a desired destination when I wish to depart. Today I don't. I just want to drive away. Good thing gas is so damned expensive, huh? Or else I might really go.
No I wouldn't. I'm too responsible. I'll stay here. My body will be here. My heart will be on the road. My head will be in torment.
Want-to-go-but-didn't is the theme for my late summer. I wanted to go to Chicago in August, but didn't. I wanted to go, again, to Chicago in early September, but didn't. Yesterday I wanted to go to the South Carolina Pride celebration in Columbia (the state capitol) but didn't. There's a whole big world out there. Here I sit. Stuck. Trapped.
Sometimes "trapped" is a state of mind. I can be anywhere and experience refreshing enlightening discoveries. Read a book, take a class (or five), get involved in the community. Live life where I am. Eh. Screw it.
Maybe I need a new wardrobe. OK, I know I need a new wardrobe. Comfortable stuff that fits and doesn't look like rags. Most of my comfortable stuff looks like rags. Like the dress I'm wearing now. Used to be a nice jumper, but it's worn out. I like it, though. I should get set up to sew. Sewing would probably make me feel better. I'll tell you a secret. The reason I want to sew up some new clothes is so I'll have something halfway decent to wear when I run away.
The blog is a great resource. I can shoot these thoughts out into the ether and you read them. Maybe I get some feedback. It's better than simple journaling because these words actually reach other real people. It's more powerful, or something.
miserere
12 comments:
I don't know if this helps, but I know somewhat how you feel with wanting to leave and not being able to. I would say it's this time of year, but really it's all times of year.
I feel like getting away at times too. But I just stay. Hope your day is getting better. Great video.
Yeah, a blog is a good resource for ya. I'm sure many feel the urge to run away from it all. I feel it at least once a day, as of recent :P
nothing like a new frock to brighten up the day i agree.
most traps are locked from within.
Indigo Incarnates
There's always military school for Sproing and the nunnery for Diva, hee hee. ;)
A book is always a good way to get out of your head. Totally understand the "run away" vibe though.
Go back and read Ur-spo's comment again. Identify the thing that most makes you want to run, and tell someone about it. Just one thing. And ask for help to fix it.
Hang in there Mama. I want to run so bad I'm frozen in place by fear.
Breathe. Go to the theater and create something fabulous!
BTW: Did you get into a welding class?
Hugs, Java...flight or fight is a natural response, but I think Ur-spo and Birdie are pointing out an interesting path...
As for the new frock, are you in good with any local mice, squirrels, chipmunks and birds who might be able to put a new outfit together for you while you're picking that lock?
(Deep cleansing breaths...) That said, it would've been pretty interesting if you'd managed to wash up on our shores this weekend...
Hugs from me too! I have those days. I escape here!
I loved the high "C" the boy popped off effortlessly. At one point in my life, I sang with a men & boys choir.
Maybe you should 'run away' for a day or two. Lots of people do it. Sometimes its enough to satisfy one's curiosity about the rest of the world, and to keep one from strangling one's children.
Mark :-)
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