Been feeling a bit crazy this week. I have been getting so much better over the past 6 to 9 months. There for a while I was functioning on a relatively high level of sanity.
Something slipped.
I'm not sure what happened exactly. I know when. I described/explained it here. But there's more than that. It's opened up the dark places. In some of my classes I'm being exposed to concepts and information that are bringing up some unresolved issues, or some such psychobabble.
And I wonder, do I need to go into the crazy to fix this? Is it even fixable, first of all? Can I act like a reasonably intelligent adult as I explore these uncomfortable events from my past? Or must I dredge through the mucky emotions, too?
Here's a possible connection. I recently bought some CDs of music that was significant in my life during one particular phase of adolescence. There was some shit happening with me then. It's possible that the tunes have reached something subliminal.
I'm rambling. I'm lost. Don't know how to proceed. I see my therapist tomorrow afternoon, and that is a very good thing. Maybe she can suggest some guidelines for this crock of shit.
Tired. Have no idea whether this mess makes any sense at all. Don't have enough gumption to care right now. I'll apologize later. In the meantime carry on with your lives, citizens.
3 comments:
sanity is over rated; best to take it in small doses
by putting reality on the back burner, life can be jam packed and fun filled
when I look back on all the time I wasted I try not to feel bitter.
Do you have a goal? What is it?
I'm no shrink by any means, but I have always tried to 'face my demons' too. Otherwise they will 'stew' and lock into your psyche. Good you will see someone who will guide you through this. Some people will run from these feelings....I watched someone do this all her life. Didn't 'work' for her at all.
You are a smart woman and will be fine.
Jim
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