My kitchen, or something like it

 ... or what's left of it. Let's see if I can post these pictures. These are our lovely new curtains! They do a marvelous job keeping the kitchen climate from encroaching on the rest of the house.

To the right (I think)(not sure about the format here) and below are the cabinets before Superman started tearing things out.

 Superman cut a wedge from the squishiest part of the floor, there next to the A/C vent. It's our first look at the underlayment. She don't look good, boss.

My sexy Superman removes that ugly-ass counter. Ain't he cute?

The sink and counter are gone from this cabinet.

 Superman uses the reciprocating saw (that's fun to type: reciprocating saw)

 and something shiny to break up the cabinet.

He has a small pry bar,

  but not a large crowbar. Here's another good (?) use for a large pipe wrench.

 You can see the water damage to the underlayment underneath the cabinet he just removed.

 Twitch holds a board that shows some rot.

 This dark icky stuff looks like tar paper to me, but it's the wet moldy particle board underlayment beneath the sink cabinet. Yes, it smells bad. 

 These next two shots are more of the underlayment, I think, that extends beyond the sink cabinet.

 And it goes all the way under the stove. That's where the stove was. Superman has it off to the left, blocking the narrow path from the kitchen to our tiny laundry room. I haven't washed clothes in weeks because I can't get to the laundry room. Superman can, though, so I have clean clothes. That's why he's Superman!

 See, there's the back of the stove. And he has a box fan in the window blowing icky air toward the back yard. 

 This is what the floor looked like as Superman broke up the damaged particle board. The orange cat (sometimes called Saratoga, sometimes Caramel, sometimes Marmalade) loves to "help."

 And here the subfloor is revealed. Oh look! It's wet, too! And for some reason it's painted white. I don't know why. And only a portion of it is painted. Weird.

Superman let this dry out for a couple of days, but to no avail. It was still pretty damp.

See, only part of it is painted. And this is the subfloor, which gets covered by the underlayment for the vinyl. No one will ever see it unless the floor gets damaged somehow... Oh, right. 

 What a mess.

 Oh look! Superman went to (only big box home improvement store in town) for supplies!

The subfloor must come out. He had hoped to remove and replace it in one day so our house wouldn't be exposed to the crawl space overnight. No such luck. He did this Monday, if I recall, and it's early Thursday morning now and still looks like this.

 You can see sawdust on the insulation. The insulation is wet, too, no surprise.

 No more insulation! But wait, what's that on the ground? We've got a huge swath of plastic covering the dirt in the crawl space. I forget what that's called, but the plumbers said it's a good idea. It adds to the value of the home, too, a little bit. Maybe. It also captures water that drips from the house. Yep, there's a big puddle of water on the ground under where the sink used to be. Does that mean there is still an active leak? Superman disabled the sink the day after Thanksgiving. Nothing has gone down the drain for a month. Are the supply lines leaking?

 Ah, there are the supply lines. Superman called the plumbers back out here to check their work. They came Wednesday. Nope, it isn't the supply lines. When he talked to the plumbers Tuesday they said that water can sit for a long time, and to give it some air flow. He put the box fan across the joists pointing down, and the puddle was nearly gone Wednesday morning.

Can you see the damage to the wall studs and sill behind the supply lines? He's going to have to replace the sill and studs under the window where the sink was.

I need to take pictures of our makeshift kitchen in the living room. I have some shots of the living room in its Christmas glory, such as it was.

This evening Superman and I went out to one of our favorite date locations: the big box home improvement store! We bought two small heaters which are now set up on either side of the hole in the floor, blowing toward each other. The idea is that the dry heat will help dry the joists, which Superman really doesn't want to replace. He's going to sister the joists anyway, so there will be more substance to the joists when he's done. But he doesn't see the need to remove and replace the ones there. The heaters and the fan are working to dry out what's left.

We also bought a new sink. As shown in one of the above photos, the old sink is a big beige cast iron clunker with bits of enamel chipped off the edges. OK, the photo probably doesn't show that much detail, but trust me. So we got a new 20 gauge stainless steel 8" deep double bowl sink. It was on clearance for a decent price, and Superman wanted to buy it now before it wasn't available anymore. There's no place to put it, but whatever. We also looked at cabinets, and tentatively decided on the prefab unfinished suckers. They're cheaper and quicker than building our own, and we can choose a counter top and then finish the cabinets to match. 

Since we're putting the new kitchen on the (big box home improvement store) credit card, we've decided to add a new refrigerator to the deal. We've needed a new fridge for ages. The one we have isn't big enough for the size of our household, and is old and inefficient and falling apart. So we looked at refrigerators, too. I know which one I really want, and it's come down in price since it first came out half a dozen years ago. It is 22.5 cubic feet and now less than $1000. Barely less, but less is less. Used to be only the 18 cu. ft. fridges were that cheap, and most of the smaller ones don't come in the configuration and with the features that I want. Don't know if that's the one we'll end up with, but I hope so.

My land it's late! I'm tired. And this post is way too long now. It's mostly pictures, though, for what that's worth. I'll be back in a day or so with Christmas pictures (maybe) and more updated shots of the kitchen. Heck, I might add photos of the bathroom that Superman has been remodeling for 2, maybe 3 years. This kitchen best go faster than that!

Tales from Boxing Day

If I were in the UK I'd celebrate Boxing Day, but I don't quite know how to do it here. I need British guidance.

Christmas was wonderfully low key. The kids each got two gifts from us, one major purchase and one handmade thingie from me. The two teenagers got handheld games - PSP for Sproing and DSi for Diva. Twitch got a vacuum cleaner. That was fun. It's so practical and not at all elegant, and I enjoyed that much. We also got a vacuum cleaner for Light, but she wasn't with us for The Day. She'll be driving down from PA in a couple of weeks and we'll do Christmas with her then. I knit a scarf for Sproing, made a fleece blanket for Diva with a length of purchased fleece and a couple of packs of blanket binding. I made a balaclava for Twitch, sort of like this...

only not too much. Made it out of fleece, added extra insulation over the ears and face part. I am making a big woolen winter coat for Light, but haven't done much with it. The pattern pieces are cut out, but I haven't begun construction yet.

And for C I bought a mock turtleneck and a pullover sweater, both of which he really likes. He's been wearing the sweater, and he looks sexy in it, imho.

Since my kitchen is out of commission we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner yesterday. That was great! We might continue to do that in years to come. I like cooking, and when Light is here we all have a good time in the kitchen. But man, it's so easy to go out for Chinese!

My big project for today, and consequently my big gripe for today, is buying bras. Penney's has a good sale on bras today (this week?). I bought eight bras for $111.28, which for those of you who don't purchase bras is a pretty good deal. I bought eight bras, came home and threw away all my old bras because... damn. I haven't bought any bras in a couple of years and all of mine were in various stages of nasty. So I'm starting fresh with all new ones. And I HATE shopping for bras! When these wear out I'm going to the plastic surgeon and getting my boobs cut off. OK, not really, but the idea is tempting. I want the FTM sex change boob surgery. Well, probably not really, but having these boobs is a pain in my neck (back, chest, arms, etc.). (I wear a D-cup size, and that's enough boob to weigh things down a lot.) When I got home from the store I asked Superman if he really really really likes my boobs. He assures me he does. He had better show some strong appreciation for them or I'm cutting them off.

There are lots of pictures of this kitchen floor fiasco. I will get a picture post together soon. I find it difficult to get pictures onto this blogspot thing. I have to put them in just the right order, and do the pics first because they don't insert where I want them. And it's hard to move them from one place to another in the post. Perhaps I don't know how to do it right, but that's my life. Anyway, I want to share pictures of our kitchen. And perhaps a photo or two of our understated Christmas decoration.

Until then, I'm going to have another beer. Because bra shopping drives me to drink.

Another take on reparative therapy

My brain. It isn't working correctly.

Do you ever have those days when you just can't think clearly? And not due to the effects of mind-altering substances, either. I woke up this morning and have been unbearably stupid ever since.

A horrible thing happened to me Saturday. Lander University graduated me. I am no longer in school; no longer can I claim the title "student." And look! It made me stupid!

Diva is on my last nerve. She's pulling all manner of passive aggressive shit around here. She's being disrespectful, sassy, etc. I'm about to pinch her little head off, as Superman says.

I'm depressed. Horribly, terribly depressed. There is no Christmas here, and I don't want one, but everyone else expects it. I don't want to do Christmas at all.

My house is torn up. Did I mention the kitchen drain leaks? We can't use the sink. If I had any gumption at all I'd post pictures. Maybe I will later.

We got a replacement washing machine, which I may have mentioned. It works. It doesn't frighten me. It's good. I even used it once.

That's all I can think of. My brain, it isn't working.

Let's try a brief update*

Lots going on, long time since I last told you about it. No time now, really.

• The replacement "a" key was a bust, so I ordered a new keyboard for the laptop. Installed it yesterday. Am loving words with a's in them again. Again. Aging. Aggressive. Aggregate.
• Just in time, because I'm ready to write my big paper for that course work I've been avoiding. I saw my advisor on Tuesday. I haven't done jack about this thing aside from gathering some information, so I went in to tell her that I give up, I'll just take the F. She didn't like that idea. Told my sculpture prof the same thing and he freaked. My GPA is high - not 4.0, but something around 3.7high or 3.8low. Yeah, a zero would fuck that shit up. So my advisor gave me a pep talk and some direction and said "you've got 10 days." It's down to 8... well, 7.5 now. Last night I organized shit and wrote a rough draft outline. This morning I started reading the research articles I've chosen. As I suspected, once I get started I really get into it and regret procrastinating. I drive me crazy.
• Diva is home from jail, on probation, doing relatively well. There are more details about stuff with her, but I won't go into it now. She turned 14 last Sunday. And she's been wetting the bed every night for a week. My house stinks like sour piss. I HATE that!
• Which leads to the next bit of excitement around here: the washing machine broke. Diva broke it, actually. For those who don't know but want to, check the labels for "washing machine" to get lots of gory detail about my struggles with this washer. Diva failed to cinch the strap around the machine to hold the door closed. She put the strap on, but didn't tighten it. And she put an uneven load in it - one heavy thing and a bunch of light stuff. So of course it was shaking like Elvis. The door latch broke, but Superman fixed that one easily. However, the computerized control panel above the door also came loose and rattled around for I don't know how long. It now doesn't control shit. Superman looked up info about replacement parts for that, and can't figure which of the three things are the right one. The cheapest of these things is almost $200. Together he and I declared it totaled. It's been busted for about two weeks. He hopes to take it today to the place in town that sells used appliances to trade it for something that works. I've given him carte blanche to pick out a new one. He does laundry more often than I do anyway.
• In related news, I have been to the laundromat a few times in the past two weeks. I don't actually mind the laundromat most of the time, but I dislike the time and money it uses. This morning I spent almost $14 on the whites, Diva's stinky sheets from last night (I did three loads of her bedding yesterday morning), and the clothes Superman and I have dirtied in the past less-than-a-week.
• To make matters more complicated, the drain in the kitchen is leaking. Behind the wall. Into the wood under the vinyl flooring. The kitchen smells of rot, and has for a while. It took us a while to discover the source. Superman crawled under the house Thanksgiving morning as I was cooking the feast. Wow. Happy Thanksgiving. He turned off the water to the sink the day after Turkey Day and we haven't had the use of it since. Plumbers and insurance adjustors have been lurking around. Alas, the cause of the damage is not something our insurance covers, so it's all up to us. Superman and a good, handy friend of his say they can do it. His friend is one of these motivated, fired up people who will help get us going. They say they can finish the job (or most of it) in a day. Oh, I hope so! In the meantime we are using a lot of disposable "dinnerware" (Greg! Plastic utensils!) and eating out. Expensive! At Christmas time!
• I could go into a rant about Christmas, but I just can't afford the time. Perhaps after next Friday.

TTFN

*Turned out to be not too brief. No surprise there.

A quote and other observations

Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. -Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)

I exceed the limit nearly every day.

I had good day yesterday. I spent the midday with my little old dying lady (Hospice volunteering). She's a hoot. Her stories get a bit confusing sometimes, especially when the details change from her being the child in the story to being the mother of said child. She has some great stories. My favorite from yesterday involves domestic violence, and it's funny (I think, anyway). As a young bride-to-be, she took her future husband to visit her parents. He asked her father if there was anything he should know. Future father-in-law said "Yes. If you ever hit her, make sure to kill her with the first blow. Otherwise she'll kill you." Yes, my little old dying lady is a spunky gal.

She also told of a friend of hers. When they were both young married women the friend often appeared with a black eye and assorted other bruises and evidence of attack. When she asked, the friend admitted that her husband was beating her. My gal said "Why don't you hit him back? Knock him upside the head with a frying pan." Oh, no, she was too afraid of him. So my gal told her to wait until he passed out (he was one of those violent drunk wife beaters) then tie him up in a sheet. Then beat him. She said her friend took the advice and wasn't victimized by the fool again.

It's a lovely rainy day here in The South™. We've had high temps in the upper 70s this week, with some powerful sunshine. I'm glad the rain is bringing cooler weather. It's a perfect morning for a nap, which I intend to partake of after I hit "publish post."

I took Diva to the beauty "college" to get her hair did last night. C's ex, N, is a student there. He was sick yesterday so didn't go to school last night. Diva's 'do took a long time, during which I sat knitting and listening. Interesting stuff. One of the girls has become N's friend-girl, and we shared notes. I love hearing the rest of the story in the gay dramas.

I told you about the fuck buddy, right? About how he and N have been enjoying each other, but did I tell you that once or twice he's been here with C? Well, I found out last night that N knows that the fb has been with C, and N suspects (no confirmation) that the fb has been f'ing the Youngster who shares the apartment with N. If you need a reminder, Youngster and Other Guy are a couple. Youngster left Other Guy when C left N, but returned to him a week later.

So of course when I got home from the Hairy House of Gossip I had to bring C up to date with events. When he heard about the fb and Youngster possibly (no confirmation) twisting the sheets, he was highly amused because Other Guy, with whom he's been friends for years, would blow a gasket it he found out. I asked a few questions and come to find out that Other Guy is a stickler for the double standard. It's OK if he gets a little on the side, or if he participates in some group activities on his own, but he is totally not OK with his boyfriend getting any from anywhere else. Yeah, he's a real jerk.

C has spent a little more time with the fb recently, but not in bed. They've started working on a project together. The more he gets to know the fb, the less he likes/trusts him. I've been suspicious of the guy from the start. He reminds both C and me of C's first boyfriend, S. There's some ugly psychopathology in that basket. C has decided that the fb will no longer be a fuck buddy for him. A wise decision, imho.

I don't watch soap operas. I don't need to. I live in one.

So Diva got her hair done last night in a style that she requested. It's a black girl Mohawk; close braid (twists, actually) on the sides and curled in a wide strip from forehead to neck. And she hates it. The gals curled her hair very tightly, and she wanted looser curls. Thing is, those tight curls will relax in a day or two and be just right. If they'd curled them looser, the curl would un- in a couple of days. This way the curl stays viable for upwards of two weeks. Diva is only concerned about Right Now. She was a pouty bitch when we got home. I spent four hours and a passel of money to get her hair done up right, and she resents the whole thing. Shit. What a teenager! She seemed a bit less bitchy this morning. I really hope she has a good day today. Those middle school girls can be wickedly cruel, and have been to poor Diva in the past. I really do sympathize with her about the social peer pressure mess. I wish she didn't take it so personally, but of course she wouldn't be a "normal" teen if she didn't. As far from normal as she is in some ways, this part is in the textbook.

Mental Floss sells a product called the Baby Owner's Starter Kit and a Toddler Owner's Manual. Though I haven't read either, I'm sure they're quite amusing and possibly informative. What I don't see at Mental Floss is the Teenager Owner's Manual. I need one. Perhaps I could write one myself? That might be fun, actually. And possibly cathartic.

That nap is calling loudly. Hopefully I'll be back before too long.

Let me tell you about it

I have an "a" that works again! Believe it or not, the broken "a" key is one of the things I have allowed to keep me from posting. Sad but true. The "a" key isn't completely fixed good-as-new, but it works pretty well. I ordered a replacement, and it didn't work quite right, so I fiddled with it a bit and now it works most of the time.

In my last post I detailed the gay drama going on with C. Most of that has calmed down. He's much better now. Still a couple of areas concern me, but nothing that I think has a major bearing on his ability to function. He says he's not going to pursue a relationship right now. If something develops with anyone he interacts with normally, he won't kick it out of bed, as such. But he's not actively seeking a boyfriend.

The major news story in Javaland concerns Diva. For details of the present mess see here, here, and here. She appeared before the court yesterday (Monday). She has been placed on probation for six months and sent home. Being as how she's a juvenile, we her parents are also sort of on probation, kinda. We are mandated to take her to all of her classes, appointments, meetings, etc. She must participate in the activities, of course. We only have to make sure she gets there. She has to take an anger management course. I talked to her service coordinator today about that. I think it would be a good idea for me, Superman, and Sproing to also take the course. Sproing sure as heck needs the skills, and Superman and I can surely learn a thing or two about how to better handle anger. I'd like to know just what Diva is learning so I can be consistent with it, use the same terms, etc. at home.

I don't know all the details of her probation requirements. She has to go to therapy, which she does already anyway. I arranged for a different therapist, though. She never developed a good rapport with the lady she has worked with for a year or more. I hope the new gal works out better. Diva will also have an RPS worker, that social worker type who helps with life skills, social interaction, etc. I've mentioned before the RPS worker who worked with Sproing. He was fantastic. He still is fantastic, but he left South Carolina and went back out west. I miss him. He and I had that rapport thing down pat. Anyway, Diva will be working with a new RPS worker and Sproing is getting a new one, too. I get to meet both of them tomorrow afternoon. Wee-ha.

We'll also continue with the family therapist lady who comes to our home on Thursday evenings. She's great. We have learned to work well together, though she is yet another in an increasingly long list of therapist/social worker-type people I have to work with. Of course we now add a probation officer to the list. We have our first meeting with the probation officer next Monday.

And so it goes. And Diva is here. So far things have been mostly OK. She has copped an attitude with me a few times. She fights against the restrictions of childhood. She thinks she knows everything and I know nothing, that she can make her own decisions about every aspect of her life. Part of our job here and now is to teach her to respect authority. You know. Like to not hit a police officer with a broom stick.

I know she has problems, organic and inherited. But she also has problems that stem from inadequate parenting. Maybe. I think. We haven't been as strict or consistent with her as we should. We're too nice. Or something. Yes, I do accept some of the blame for her lack of respect for authority (and for me). Not all of it. But some.

Superman has a plan for us, for her, for now. She is here. We will do what we need to for her, to the best of our ability, and see how things develop. If she improves, if she does well, then great. If she plays the part of the good child for a while and then loses her shit, we'll call in the authorities again. In the short term, it's impossible to tell if she has genuinely improved. She's pretty good at pretending for a while. With age and experience, I hope she matures. I see maturity now that she didn't have two years ago. I want to say "of course" but with her we can't assume anything.

And Sproing got into a bit of trouble at school today for the second day in a row. That would be the day Diva came home and the day after Diva came home. Any relation, you think? He was disruptive in his final class of the day. Wouldn't stay in his seat and refused to do the assignment. I got the email with these details as I was leaving my school at 3:00. I realized that I had time to get to his school before they dismissed at 3:20, so I skedaddled over there. Horror of horrors, I showed up in his classroom! Yes, the dreaded mother came to school! How utterly embarrassing. We went into the hallway to talk privately. He didn't cooperate then, either. I took him home, the boy resisting all the way out of the building. He refused to walk with me. He followed approximately 10 feet behind me, looking all the while as if he was just walking down the hall with no thought to that strange woman over there. Whatever. Little bits at a time.

He calmed down a while after we got home. I sent him to his room, but he said he had to use the coping skill of going for a walk. I gave him 45 minutes to walk it off, then he had to be in his room. Instead of going for a walk he got the push lawnmower out and mowed the front lawn. It needed one last mow down before winter, and he did a good job. That kept him out a bit longer than the 45 minutes, but he was being useful and active. I stayed outside and supervised the whole thing. By the time his Daddy got home Sproing was pretty copacetic. He even did his science project that was due last week that we argued about this weekend.

Here's the thing: I offer to help. I give him good suggestions. But I don't know, because mother made the suggestion, he has to fight it. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. And middle adolescence. A deadly combination. He ended up retreating to his room and refused to do the project at all. And it was a simple project. Look up the rock cycle (whatever that is) on the internet (or in his science book, which I told him to bring home but he didn't) and draw a diagram of it on a piece of poster board. So he did that this evening before supper, willingly and cheerfully. But only today, not Sunday evening. Oy.

I'm tired and sore and emotionally drained. Time for this Java to lie down and go to sleep.

Gay drama update

Things have been decided.

For those of you just joining us, the details are thus: C broke up with N, their apartment-mates, Youngster and Other Guy, also broke up. C and Youngster had developed a close friendship, or so Youngster understood. C fell in love. C moved back home, and Youngster came along. But Youngster was not fully done with Other Guy. Would Youngster go back to Other Guy? Would he fall in love with C?

It all came together yesterday. Youngster had spent the previous two nights "away," which I knew instinctively was back in Other Guy's bed. I think C was deluded into believing he was staying with another friend. The fool. I texted Youngster, he responded asking me to come on over 'cause he needed to talk. So of course I did. They (including N, who still lives there) explained the situation that I'd already figured out. I brought Youngster back here so he could tell C. C took it pretty well. He did most of his mourning over the past two days. There is some furniture-moving that needs to occur today, but it's mostly settled. And C seems in a much better frame of mind than he did yesterday.

I cleared up the question of C and Youngster's friendship. Other Guy says he doesn't care if they are still friends, that they can spend time together. I feared he would get jealous and defensive about it, but he says he's cool. I hope he means it.

I also found out how N is faring. He's doing pretty well. He seems to realize that he's better off without C. I think he feels a new freedom. He's also kinda seeing a guy, informally. He says it's not a love connection or anything, no "relationship." It sounds to me like a fuck buddy friendship. We shall see. This is new territory for N. I see him asserting himself more, exploring parts of his personality/identity that he repressed because of C. He said this new friend likes to take pictures of him dressed in drag. N loves to do drag, but C strongly discouraged him. The new friend thinks it's sexy. All in all everyone except C seems to be doing very well. Hopefully C will get his head out of his belly button and move on to figure out life.

And that's all I know.

Long-overdue update and some new gay drama

Still no "a" key on my keyboard. It's annoying, but whatcha' gonna do?

The illustr'us governor of the state of South Carolina has decided that to make this great state more appealing, all state government offices must answer their phones with the greeting "It's a great day in South Carolina." The non-voluntary nature of the dictum negates the sentiment, imho. But here's the thing: I call the evaluation center where Diva is incarcerated and hear "It's a great day in South Carolina. (Your daughter is in jail.)" It doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling about South Carolina.

We still don't know much. Diva will remain in the evaluation/detention center until her court date. This is a good development. Some kids go back home after being evaluated to wait for their court appearance. We have told everyone who might influence the decision that we feel she is a threat to the family and should be placed elsewhere for the time being. We won't know anything until she goes to court, and we don't have a specific date for that. I pretend that the uncertainty doesn't bother me.

She said she wants to come home. I asked her when visiting last Sunday if she wants to come home or just wants to leave there and go somewhere else. After a brief pause she decided she'd like to go to a foster home. I don't know if that's an option, but I got the info I was looking for. She doesn't really want to come home, per se.

In other news, C has moved back home again. Last Sunday he broke up with N. It was inevitable. They aren't right for each other. The other couple with whom they were sharing the apartment also broke up Sunday morning. The younger guy moved here with C. And here's where it gets more complicated in a gay drama drama drama way. C is crazy in love with this youngster (he's 17, C is 23), but the youngster hasn't committed to leaving the other guy. They are taking a break, and he may get back with Mr. Other Guy (who is also 23). Youngster considers C a good friend, like a brother. C is going crazy wanting Youngster to stay with him and "learn to love" him. It's crazy. Oh, and C started smoking again with all the recent stress. Pisses me off, but I can't demand he quit.

C isn't taking the stress well. Obviously. There are other unhealthy behaviors he's fallen into that I won't enumerate. He isn't comfortable being alone. For what it's worth, I think he needs to be unattached for a while to learn who he is apart from a lover. I haven't told him that yet. He isn't ready to hear it. Right now we're waiting for Youngster to make up his mind about Other Guy.

And of course C moved back into what had become Diva's bedroom. It was his before she got it; he moved out, she moved in. She's out (for now) and he's back in. Are you dizzy yet?

I am glad C is back home, though. I feel very comfortable with him here. And of course I feel very uncomfortable with Diva here.

I'll share some thoughts I have about our home. The home that Superman and I have made is a comfortable, safe place (if you disregard the mess). There are actually many young people who feel more welcome here than with their own families. Sproing recently befriended a boy in the neighborhood who really likes hanging out here, and sometimes refers to me as Mama. I give him great big Mama hugs. His mother currently lives in one of those very cold northern states while she works a temporary job. And C has a friend over this afternoon who continually tells me he loves me and Superman and likes being here.

Earlier this week I gave Sproing's friend a big Mama hug and Sproing said "you never give me hugs like that!" Yeah, well that's because you push me away and complain whenever I try to. He's an odd bird.

My point here (maybe) is that my children (at least those who are still minors) do not appreciate us as parents. Lots of other kids (young and old) do. Can I trade?

And now a silly question for those of you of a certain age who are familiar with 70s TV sitcoms: Have you ever tried Milk and Pepsi?

Diva update

First of all, I must note that the "a" key broke off my computer keyboard. This presents a challenge that I may not completely overcome.

Diva had her arraignment hearing this afternoon, NOT in the Greenwood County courthouse. We had to drive an hour to get to Newberry. That's where juvenile court was held in this section of the state today. They ended up dropping both of the assault charges (didn't ask me; I wanted to pursue the assault charge I filed) and charged her with being incorrigible. Isn't that fun? All legal reps recommended that she be placed in the DJJ evaluation center where she will get what promises to be a thorough psychiatric and psychological* and physical evaluation. In 30-45 days she will appear before the court for a decision about what to do next. We have three agencies involved now: Continuum of Care, state mental health dept, and DJJ. I hope they all work well together. Any or all of them have the capacity to recommend alternative placement for her, a placement that does NOT include my house. Know what I mean?

Right now I'm not even worried about it. We have anywhere from 14 to 45 days (I'm not really sure how long she will be there) before the next step. I don't have the energy to worry.

The officer who transported her from Columbia to the courthouse today told our Continuum o' Care rep that Diva claimed to have a good time in kiddie jail last night. She met some new peeps, yo. Am I disturbed by this revelation? I don't know how I feel about it. I didn't expect this, but am not surprised. No, mostly I'm sad.

She was pretty upset after court though. We got to hug her and say goodbye, and she cried. Her eyes were pretty red when she came into the courtroom, too. We saw her again before the officer left to take her to the crazy kid jail, and she seemed a bit more relaxed. The officers and court personnel were kinda joking with her and the other kid who was going there. They reiterated to these two youngsters how important it is to behave well at the crazy kid jail, because their behavior reflects strongly on their overall evaluation. If they get in trouble there, the judge is less likely to have a happy story for them at the end of their stay.

My chest and back have been sore today where Diva punched me last night. Superman saw the whole thing and says she threw a lot of punches; at least a dozen. I remember it as about four, but my attention was divided and I wasn't trying to keep track. I don't see any bruising, but Superman says my chest has a slight bruise.

I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night, and it's almost midnight again. I'm going to bed now, and will post again over the weekend probably. Twitch's school quarter is finished as of tonight, so I'll drive up to Charlotte to bring him home tomorrow. That's about 5 hours on the road. Good thing I like to drive.

*I don't know the difference between the psychiatric and psychological. The DJJ agent or the public defender asked me if she had both -iatric and -ological diagnoses. I dunno. Guess they'll find out, huh?