Where has the day gone? What have I done with myself all day? Is it enough?
I don't know why I do this. I have a perfectly good excuse to go to sleep. It is 2:30 in the morning. I have been awake for 19 hours now. The beloved husband is asleep beside me. My eyes are tired. My brain? Not so much. I am trying to solve the world's problems.
Bad things happen. Horrible people with evil in their hearts do wicked and despicable things to helpless innocents. These atrocities go unchecked, leaving in the wake a tide of broken, tortured souls. Is there a grander purpose? Does ultimate justice exist? Whether it does or not, what do we do in the meantime?
Water cannot be un-spilled. Fire cannot be un-started. Some things must run their natural course. Can we act? Are there solutions? Water can be removed, wiped up, dried. Fire can be extinguished. But that won't undo the original event. It won't prevent the damage, and often does not restore the affected elements to their previous condition.
Some things can be redone. But in life the opportunities for do-overs are limited. No, we must attend to the matters at hand with the hand we were dealt. Do what damage control is possible.
Where is the Phoenix who rises from the ashes? Where is healing? Where is justice? Where is peace?
Moving Along, but Adrift
10 years ago
14 comments:
The other thing I wonder about is why people like you and I (and others with a conscience) have trouble sleeping while the monsters, parasites, and sociopaths of this world sleep just fine. :(
Why, oh why, do we torture ourselves with questions like these in the middle of the night? Most often I'll wake up and start this downward spiral somewhere around 3 or 4am. If you've been up for 19 hours though, don't discount that aspect of this situation.
I hope you got some rest, and are now doing something good for you, not in a eating-my-vegetables way, but in a Superman-is-home-for-'lunch' kind of way. Those things help. And count.
"Thou art indeed the Messiah, the son of the most High..."
This is the start of the monologue I give myself when I start feeling the need to fix everything.
Just remember that being the Messiah never ends well.
I guess all we can do is keep moving forward and do our damnedest at damage control.
Peace, justice and healing are found in small acts of everyday grace. Look for them when you feel overwhelmed by the corruption and disasters in the world. Turn from the problems you cannot address right now and find comfort in sharing the abundant love you have within you. The best way to shield yourself from pain is to use that shield to protect another.
From one perfectionist to another:
Sometimes, good enough is good enough.
The hour of the wolf, or so I heard that is what it is called, when we toss and turn in the dead of night. Why does our 'to do list' always come to us at one or two in the morning when we can't do any thing about it!
I so agree with what sbeen said here. Why does it always happen here late at nite. sigh....
BTW: WOuld you believe I never saved your addy? Email me. lol
I do not have the answers, but I have a little 'piece of wisdom' that my father (bless him) taught me:
We are not perfect in any way. But what we can do perfectly, is screw up.
My choice in life is to, as far as is possible, to do no harm to another. I believe that if you stick to that you can get to sleep at night.
But my dear Java, I think you are one of the last great 'worry-ers' in this world, and that makes you all kind of special!
I rarely have trouble falling asleep. My existential stalker is a morning person, nagging me reluctantly awake. By morning tea, I'm fit and feisty.
I look at past injustices like a healing wound. Every now and then the scab accidentally gets scraped off, before it's completely healed. It bleeds and hurts, but never as much as the first time. And then eventually it's gone, with hopefully no visible scar. But even when there is a scar, it continues to fade as the years go by....
fix yourself a martini darlin'
I get maybe 2-3 hours undisturbed sleep and the rest is shared intermittently with busy thinking and working out problems I need to address. If I start composing music I need to get up and write it down or it will be gone if I go back to sleep. If this continues too many days in a row I notice I start taking an afternoon nap. It all evens out eventually for me.
lofty questions for 230AM
i believe despite everything that bad karma will eventaully turn in on itself.
I try to not dwell on the injustices and the whys but look for the strengths to heal wounds.
I'm plagued by periodic insomnia for a variety of reasons: curiosity, mental alertness, worry.
It's the latter cause that is the most irksome. The other night I actually tried something I've been told to do. I turned my worries over to the Greater Reason, rolled over, and went right to sleep. I'm going to try that more often.
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