My boys and the kitten Scheherazade

My 17 year old son Twitch views life from an interesting perspective. He's always been a unique boy. He quietly observes the world around him (when he isn't too self absorbed to be oblivious to it). Sometimes he shares his point of view with the family.

I have a white board hanging on the wall in our kitchen. It's a wonderful place for messages, notes, lists, and tirades. Twitch put this on the white board recently.

Members of the household are represented on the left. S and C are of course our gay couple. The D and M are for Dad and Mom. Next he shows himself (Twitch) then S-Sproing and D-Diva. The red line represents Courtesy, green is Productivity, and black is Respect. Along the bottom of the chart we see his terms for the levels of each virtue. In ascending order we have suckish, poor, fair, good, and parent.

He qualifies the chart here, saying "figures based on distant observations." Why distant I'm not sure. He's right here and sees it all. But this is Twitch's opinion of how well each family member shows courtesy, productivity, and respect. I'm glad Superman and I define the standard. That's as it should be. 

Sproing wanted me to take his picture. He posed for me. He thinks he's hot sh!t, so he gave me some bad a$$ poses. This was the only one I captured. He was thrilled. Sometimes he is very easy to placate. He is lots of fun!

And here are some pictures of our sweet little kitten, Scheherazade. She snuggled up to Superman for some scritching. She's really getting into this petting stuff.The first few days we had her she spent most of her time hiding under the furniture in our bedroom. We have her food, water, and the litter box in our bathroom, and I've been trying to keep the bedroom door closed so I at least know what room she's in. Whenever she saw us she'd hiss and run away. It was tough to catch her! We had to catch her at least twice a day to give her the antibiotic. Once we held her and pet her she purred like a little outboard motor. She loves it. But then she'd hiss next time we got close to her. Hey, make up your mind, Little One!But since the weekend she's been much more social. Here she is on our bed playing with a little catnip toy I bought for her. She's so cute when she bats that thing around! She has learned how to climb up onto our bed. To give some explanation, Superman built our bed. The mattress is nearly 3 feet off the floor. Our grown cat, Samhain, can jump up on the bed with no problem. Scheherazade is way too tiny to do that yet. However, there's enough junk piled up on the sides of the bed for her to climb on until she's close enough to jump. Yep, time to clean the room. :)

Here's a close shot of the catnip toy she was playing with. It's on the floor now, as she batted it off the edge of the bed. Now she's on the floor looking for it. You can see it. You can also see her back as she looks elsewhere. What a silly little girl kitty!She's doing much better. She uses the litter box consistently (that was hit and miss the first couple of days). She's eating and drinking well. The antibiotic seems to have worked pretty well on her respiratory infection, as she isn't sneezing and coughing anymore. However, her left eye isn't getting any better. If anything it's getting worse. I need to take her to the vet again to have him take another gander at that eye. Her eye is producing a lot of icky gunk, and the sclera (I think that's what it is) is inflamed. 

Mother's Day Rant 2008

I get like this nearly every year. Forewarned is forearmed.

Disclaimer #1
For my mother, my mother-in-law, my stepmother (oops, forgot about her until just now) I have no trouble honoring them on Mother's Day. I do so in a simple, non-complicated, not-commercially-motivated way. Same for my grandmothers, but there aren't any left now, unfortunately. This has everything to do with those whom I mother, not those who are mothers to me.

Disclaimer #2
The opinions expressed in this rant are mine and mine alone, and are in no way a reflection of my feelings toward anyone else and his/her opinions on the topic.

We shall now proceed to the rant

[this bit is mostly preamble to the rant]
I am a mother. This means many things. I gave birth to two children and adopted two children, so there are four children who share my last name and for whom I am legally responsible. More than that, though, I have taken two more young people into my home (non-legally)(which is not to say illegally. big difference!) and I am a surrogate mother for them. Many years ago I was a temporary foster mother for newborn babies awaiting adoption. These are a few of the ways in which the term "mother" applies to me.

I also am a mother in an active sense. I mother. Verb. I tend to mother many people in many situations. Most of the close friends of my children receive some of my mothering. I acted motherly with the students on my bus. I have also done some mothering with many blog friends. Sometimes I mother because it is my nature. My excuse: I'm a mother. It's what we do.

I'm a mother. It's what we do. As a mother and when I mother I want respect. To me, respect means to be nice to me. You (the subject of my mothering efforts) don't need to agree with me. Unless you are my minor child, living in my home and are my legal responsibility, you don't have to listen to me or do what I suggest. If you ignore my advice that is your decision and I (probably) won't take offense. If you'd rather I didn't voice my opinions in a motherly fashion, kindly tell me. I will attempt to honor your request. The key word in this paragraph is "kindly." That's what respect means to me.

I have been told by many people that I am a good mother, that they wish they had had a mother like me, or even that they wish I had been/would be their mother. I am very honored by this.

[this is where it begins to get rant-ish]
My distress comes from those I most actively mother. Maybe it's the daily drudgery, or the familiarity, or that the better they know me the more they see my faults and the less respect they have for me. Whatever the cause, the children (including the adult-aged children) in my home do not show me respect.

The children in my home are the ones who mean the most to me. Well, them plus the one of my own who usually lives away at college. I'll include her in the "means the most to me" category, but she doesn't fit in the "has no respect for me" category. My Light is the light of my life (one of 'em!) and makes me so proud! But I digress.

[here comes the vitriol]
To continue: The youngsters who live here show virtually no respect. Ever. (virtually. some exceptions, though rare) Maybe I shouldn't, but I take this as a personal affront. Rarely do they care about my needs, they blatantly ignore me and often are directly disrespectful. They are rude to each other, inconsiderate, slovenly, destructive, mindless, dense, lazy, greedy and selfish.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Some of these children will attempt to be nice to me tomorrow. It rings hollow when on one day of the year they act all loving and thankful to me. If you don't exhibit these qualities every day, or at least make an obvious attempt on a regular and frequent basis, do not come to me with pretty cards and flowers and boxes of chocolate and smile disingenuously to tell me how much you appreciate me! Bullshit! If the only time of the year you can force these lies through your teeth is on Mother's Day, then forget it. I don't want to hear it. I am interested in honesty. What you do speaks louder than what you say. What you do on a typical day means more than what you pretend on one "special" day. If you truly want me to know that you appreciate me and what I do for you, then show me in the way you conduct yourself at home and in your daily life every day. Otherwise, shove it up your ass.

Others of them, I suspect, will completely ignore me and the contributions I make to their lives. In a small way I see this as a sign of my success. I'm doing so well they don't notice what they might otherwise lack. In a larger sense I realize they are ungrateful, shallow, and selfish. I don't expect, neither do I desire lavish displays of appreciation. I would like them to voluntarily and without prompt simply thank me for trying to take care of their physical and emotional needs. This specifically applies to the ones for whom I am a surrogate mother. They are old enough to realize and appreciate my efforts at least a little bit. It is very important, necessary for the honesty of it all, that they do this completely without prompt. S sometimes reads my blog, and if he sees this, it will be his prompt. C'est la vie.

To give them credit, the boyz do occasionally express appreciation. S more often than C. S goes through stages where he's concerned about me and does a pretty good job looking out for me, trying to keep me from frustrating myself more. It isn't easy work! But there are also many times when I feel he is taking me for granted. Love may be a many splendored thing, but it's hard, too.

I know they love me, these children/young adults who live with me. And I love all of them. But if I only see expressions of love on Mother's Day it just makes me mad. I feel even less appreciated if they have to be forced by this "holiday" to make the attempt.