I'm coming up for air

So far so good.

I must amend the previous post and say that my mother-in-law is usually not as bad as she was that day. That was one of her worst episodes.

Somehow we ended up rushing around frantically cooking as the in-laws arrived today. I hate that. This time, though, there were four of us cooking. Light did most of it, really. Twitch grilled the London broil. I made two lemon meringue pies. I was the one pulling stuff out of the oven at the last minute, though, because everyone else was busy with something else. Whatever.

I sat in the living room with all the parental units and the children for about fifteen or twenty minutes. I smiled. Then I excused myself. When Light had the table set and ready for the meal, I ate with everyone. Then my mother and I went to the graduation venue early. I wanted to be there with her when the doors opened so we could get a seat close to the doors. She can't walk very far, and I didn't want her to climb a lot of stairs in the arena. This is the arena where Lander Univesity plays basketball. So we got there early and got a good seat very close to the entrance.

The graduation ceremony was dreadfully dull. There were four or five different student speakers. None of them spoke for too long, but they all said practically the same thing. They all used the "turn the page," "this chapter of our lives" metaphor. The dispensation of the diplomas was tedius. The chorus sang a couple of pieces, and that was the best part. I also enjoyed watching this huge black man directing the graduates to their seats when they processed into the arena. The guy was head and shoulders taller than almost all the students, and was a massive wall of very dark manhood. It was funny to see the tiny teenage girls standing beside him. If he sneezed he'd have crushed them.

Mama and I did not sit with the rest of the family. After the ceremony Mama went back to her hotel to lie down. She is tired and doesn't feel well. The rest of us are at home. We served the pies (pecan and lemon meringue), and now Light is showing the in-laws her artwork. I am hiding in my office, doing this. I'm tired and slightly dehydrated and grumpy. I think I'll go lie down for a while. The ordeal is more than half way over. I feel good about that. If I can avoid the people for another few hours, we'll be golden.

I'm still standing

I'm still here.

I had an assignment in my English class to write a paper in the format of an article from a magazine. She gave Good Housekeeping and Vogue as suggestions. I'm not much of a Vogue or Good Housekeeping kind of gal. (quit snickering) My favorite magazine is Smithsonian. Smithsonian articles are not simple affairs. I didn't want to do real research to write a factual article. That's too much work. I'd much rather pull something out of my ass, like I usually do. But the Smithsonian was the only magazine that inspired me for this assignment. So I wrote a parody piece. I combined the idea of a snipe hunt with Rodents of Unusual Size (R.O.U.S.es). I wrote an article in which I detail a morning spent with a researcher from the University of Florida on an observation of the Florida snipe. I used photos of capybara (the largest rodent on earth) as my snipe. It was great fun. I haven't received any feedback from the professor, so I'm not sure how it was received. I had a blast writing it, though. 

Capybara or Snipe, depending on one's interpretation

Sproing and I had an appointment with his counselor today. Sproing has been doing so much better recently. Two or three weeks ago we added Zoloft to his medication regimen, and that seems to have made a significant difference. About the same time we bought him a used PSP handheld game console. Between the two, I'm not sure which one made the biggest difference. We talked with his counselor about how much more in control of his emotions and reactions he is. This is good! 

Sproing then left the room so the counselor and I could discuss some other stuff. I told her what the psychiatrist had said, that Sproing needs a lot of structure in his life. The doc indicated that Superman and I needed to get our shit together (she said it a bit nicer than that) and have firm rules, appropriate and consistent consequences, etc. I was intimidated. I got the impression from the doctor that in order to be a good mother to Sproing and Diva, I needed to get over my issues with structure and self discipline to provide that kind of environment for the kids here at home. Ugh. She told me that Sproing's counselor was very good with that sort of thing, and could help us get organized and develop lists of expected behaviors, consequences and rewards and stuff. 

Well, today I discussed that with the counselor. She seems to think that a large part of our success so far is in our (mine and Superman's) ability to be flexible and go with the flow. According to the counselor, we should stick with our strengths and not try to fight against our natural inclinations. Though perhaps a few guidelines about positive and negative consequences for specific behaviors may be helpful, generally let's work with our strengths. I was so relieved! I've been more stressed than I realized about the prospect of changing my entire life around to fit into that whole structured lifestyle. 

And speaking of stress, my mother flies into town Thursday afternoon. The in-laws plan to arrive late Friday morning, and Twitch's graduation exercise is at 2:00 Friday afternoon. There is some expectation of having a fabulous lunch here before the graduation ceremony, then dinner out that evening. I have had enough of preparing meals for the in-laws. I may tell you that story some day, but suffice to say that I ain't gonna put myself out again. Superman and Light have an idea or two, though. Superman will take Friday off from work, thankfully, so he can be here when his parents arrive. I'm trying to think of some urgent errand or emergency or whatever I can come up with to have an acceptable excuse to stay away from home Friday. I'll show up at the graduation, of course. Since my mom will be here, too, I don't think I can pull it off. Aw hell, my mother likes Superman better than she likes me, so why the hell not? 

And it probably won't be as bad as I fear. It often isn't. The times these visits turn bad, though, is enough to make me gun-shy. 

For now, though, I'll just stand my ground.

All in the Family

I talked to my mother today. I'm like my youngest brother in that I rarely call my family when I'm having a bad time of things. I haven't called her in a few weeks. Today she called me. 

I told her a few of the kids' latest escapades. She's clueless and upset about it, too. But she told me that I'm not the only one in the family dealing with crap from children. Mama had three kids: me, Brother 1, and Brother 2.  Brother 1 has had trouble with his two boys for a long time. His oldest in in his early 20s, and his youngest is a couple of months older than Twitch. I heard today that both of Bro 1's boys are in trouble. His son 2 has run away from his mother (my brother's ex). No one knows quite where he is. He dropped out of high school a couple of years ago and has not done squat with his life. The oldest, a father of a 2 year old girl, is estranged from his daughter's mom, got fired from his job for being a dumbass, and has impregnated his current girlfriend. They are living with the girlfriend's mother, since he's an unemployed dumbass.

Brother 2 has a 15 year old daughter who has been giving them hell for a few years. She's batshit crazy, but so is her mother (Bro 2's ex). She tried to run away from the school's resource officer when Bro 2 went to pick her up from school. She had been caught doing something wrong, smoking in the bathroom or something. I dunno. The school suspended her for a few days, and called dad to come get her. She made a huge fuss about getting into dad's car, and when the resource officer went over to see about things, she ran away. That landed her in a pediatric psych ward for a week or two. I'm not sure just what is going on with her now. The hospitalization occurred about three months ago. She is a huge bundle of trouble. 

Diva is younger than her cousins, but she's getting into some freaky shit at a somewhat younger age than they did. I think. Now that I think about it, Bro 2's daughter was about this age when either she or her mother (if it was her, it was at the urging of her mother) accused Bro 2 of sexually abusing her. He never did that. The ex-wife gets her jollies from screwing up my brother's life. Seriously. Anyway, Diva has started early, and it will only get worse from here. The next 5-7 years are gonna be doozies. 

Twitch graduates from high school on Friday. The grandparent invasion begins Thursday with my mom's arrival. The in-laws drive in Friday. It's a 5 hour drive for them, and they want to do it Friday. They are staying in a hotel in town Friday night, then driving back early Saturday. They are too old for that shit, but there's not reasoning with them since they are always right.  My mom flies back home Sunday. I am very proud of Twitch for achieving his high school diploma. The ceremony, the grandparent invasion, all that stuff is crap that I have to endure. I'll just grit my teeth, try to smile, and wait until it's over. 

It has been another relatively peaceful day around here. Huzzah! They have two more full days of school, two half days, and then they're done until late August. May the Good Baby Jeebus deliver us.