I deal with things by looking at the small picture. I try to tackle one (maybe two) things at a time, and don't consider the whole mess. It's how I can do this.
Last night I took a glimpse at a broader view of recent events in my life. By recent, I mean the past 6-9 months. I've done a lot. I've been through a lot.
Sproing came home 2.5 weeks ago. Things being what they are, situation-wise, we find ourselves homeschooling the boy. By "we" I mean mostly me. He's intense. It takes a lot of energy just to be with him. And of course I am still in school. There are two more weeks of classes, then finals week. I'm finished by the end of April.
And here's what I have come to accept. Once this semester is over, I'm finished with school. I don't need to complete this degree because I already have a bachelor's degree. I could get into grad school now, especially with the psychology course work I've done in the past four semesters. But it isn't going to happen, at least not for a while. For now I am needed at home. These kids are very very needy. I can't be in school now, especially not in grad school. This realization hit me yesterday. I'm still reeling.
What this is, folks, is the death of a dream.
OK, I'm willing to consider this a dream deferred. Deferred indefinitely...
