A Tuesday in November. I usually like November, to the best of my recollection. It's February that really gets to me. But for some reason I seem to be dull, lacking anything resembling enthusiasm for life right now. I feel as though I'm plodding.
The best and the worst of today came from interacting with Sproing. This morning before he left for school he was horrid. Have I mentioned that he has been diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)? Before we had Sproing in our lives I thought ODD was some fancy psychological label given to a mean little kid. I have a new appreciation for the deeper severity of the psychological designation. He's not just mean, he doesn't just oppose. He goes out of his way to push the opposition. It sucks the life out of me sometimes.
This afternoon, however, I helped him work on his science project. He has to make a model of a cell that includes (labeled) a cell membrane, nucleus, cytoplasm, and vacuoles. (I want to say "vitriols") We had a good grove going and it was an exceptionally positive experience as long as his attention held out. He lasted well over half an hour, which is fantastic for him. I spoke with his teacher today, too, and she says his effort and thus his grades have improved remarkably over the last week or two.
I might take a picture of the cell model we made. I sewed the basic form. His idea was to use a styrofoam sphere, but I couldn't find one at the store today. So I made a hemisphere out of fabric scraps. Initially he was skeptical. That's mommy speak for "he totally freaked out because it wasn't exactly the way he wanted it." Once he warmed up to the idea of using this thing I made, he worked on it with me and did a lot of the work himself. It was overall very rewarding.
I had a very friendly girls' trip to the ice cream store with Diva today. She had an appointment with her counselor (which she spent pouting and unresponsive in the counselor's office) so after the appointment we went out for ice cream together. That was another one of those good mommy things to do.
It all takes so much effort. I'm exhausted.
And I'm tired of blogging about my children. I love them dearly, as you probably know. But I don't want to talk about them right now.
The Holidays are approaching. Ugh. I don't want to do anything for Thanksgiving. We aren't going anywhere, not that I want to anyway. My extended family will be gathering in the driveway between my dad and brother's houses (next door neighbors to one another) to eat a festive holiday meal. I rather imagine my other brother will be frying a turkey again. It's what they do these days. They're all in Florida, not far from one another. (especially my dad and youngest brother. duh.) Too far for us to travel this year. I have mixed feelings about that. I tell myself I'm glad we aren't going, but there is another voice somewhere deep inside whispering a scream, "You belong with those people!" My overall impression, though, is that I'm glad we aren't going.
Then there's the Christmas thing. Ugh again. The only thing I want to do is exchange one or two small token gifts (but not junk, stuff-to-dust, or clutter) with members of my immediate household. No fancy dinner, no tree, no lights, no stockings stuffed with stuff, none of it. I want to sit in my comfy chair in front of the blazing fireplace drinking either hot chocolate or egg nog. I also want to build a gingerbread house this year. I do that occasionally, when I'm not so overwhelmed by the rest of my life. I'd like to do a gingerbread house this year, and perhaps that means I'd like for my life to not be so damned overwhelming.
I have high hopes that things will get better when Light gets home from school the second week in December. She takes a lot of the pressure off me. But then I worry that I'm putting too much on her. Oy. I am obviously overthinking things here.
So I will stop thinking for now and go to bed.
Goodnight
