Duuu-u-u-ude

Warning: this is going to ramble something awful.

So I did something to hurt my back. Strained a muscle or something. My right tenderloin ...

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The beef tenderloin runs along both sides of the spine.

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 is affected. It started hurting last week and I figured it would ease up in a couple of days. It still hurts, though, sometimes pretty bad. At Superman's suggestion I saw the doctor today. I had tried some of his (Superman's, not the doctor's) muscle relaxer, but it didn't do much at all. That's what I told the doc when he asked what I'd tried. So he gave me a prescription for a different muscle relaxer. This one does the trick! Ran by the pharmacy to get the scrip' filled, then took it when I got home. Bye bye see you next Tuesday, dudes! I slept from 11:00-ish until after 4:00. Took another pill about an hour ago and I can't seem to concentrate very well. Had to get spell check to help me spell "muscle" because I couldn't figure it out. 
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I'm supposed to be getting a job or something. Have I mentioned this before? It's so long between posting that I can't remember what I've said. Anyway, I'm looking for a job, but not very hard. The student loan payments have started, and without me making any money things are really tight. I need to make some money. Want to do something useful and meaningful, and want to work part time. I have many skills and talents. Haven't got a good resume, though. Don't know quite how to write one. I should put some effort into that, huh? Hey, maybe working from home would be a good idea. 
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The kitchen is coming along, though of course slowly. Superman has the big hole in the floor all covered up. Got the subfloor and underlayment down. He needs to take up the old vinyl in the undamaged areas of the kitchen so we can have new vinyl installed. Superman and I went to the home improvement store last weekend (I actually don't remember when, but it was within the past couple of weeks) to get plywood or something but discovered that the cabinets we want were on clearance sale. So we got them instead. I think we have all the cabinet we need. He did his measuring and figuring. There will be some spacers or something. I don't know. Anyway, the cabinets are sitting all cockeyed in the kitchen while we paint primer on them. I was going to help with that, because it is something I can do, but damn if my back doesn't hurt like hell. Maybe tomorrow.
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I didn't mention it in my last post, but I had a birthday last month. Am now 50 years old. It seems kind of old and also not so old, depending on how I think about it. Right now I can't think real clearly, so I won't. And I'm still 50. Yep, that's a big number.

And speaking of birthdays, what was formerly today (Feb 14th, when I began this post) is Twitch's 21st birthday. Boo-yah. I talked to him earlier. He has an early class tomorrow, so he didn't do anything special tonight, but he says he plans to tie one on (is that phrase still in use? I'm old, folks) this weekend. I'm pleased and proud for him, attaining the 21st anniversary of his birth. And also, I think mothers should be honored on their children's birthdays. Know what I mean? (Mothers who read this probably will.) I carried that boy for 9.5 months (I was about 2 weeks past my due dates giving birth to both of those babies) and suffered unaccountable miseries in the process. Woe is me. (I wish you could hear me say that. My Grandmama taught me how to make that phrase sound so woeful.)
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More about the kitchen: Superman decided that we want granite counters. We can't afford the solid one piece chunks, but we can swing the 12 inch tiles. Which he ordered. They look great - in the box. Of course we don't have the cabinets installed yet, much less the underlying counter support things (there's probably a name for that) upon which to affix the tiles. But I picked out the granite. There wasn't a whole lot of choice, and I want the kitchen to be fairly light, which narrowed the choice down to two. Eventually there will be pictures. Don't hold your collective breath.
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Earlier today (Tuesday) I contemplated writing this post. In doing so I had a few ideas about what to write. Most of it I cannot now remember.
Reducing the rest to bullet points:

• Still having some trouble sleeping, but it's better. This muscle relaxer will both help and hinder the process, if you know what I mean.
• I feel sort of artistic, but frustrated also. I'm not good at self motivation or self direction. Don't know what or how to do art right now. Possibilities abound, but here I sit. 
• Been struggling with depression a lot recently. That's one reason I haven't posted here much of late. Feeling a bit better this week, so far. 
• This sore back prevents me from driving in two ways. When I drive it aggravates the condition, and when I'm medicated, oh HELL no, I am in no condition to drive. Wooo hooo... I drove to the doctor's office this morning, though. Probably shouldn't have. eh. Not gonna drive tomorrow (Wednesday)
• This changing of the day in the middle of the night is annoying when I stay up this late. Wednesday is my tomorrow because I haven't gone to bed yet, but you are reading this on Wednesday (or much later, since no one checks my blog anymore, since I update so rarely). 
• There seems to be some profound realization lurking under the surface. The surface of this post?? I doubt it. The surface of my current existence? Yeah, I think so. As if I'm looking through a glass darkly. Ephemeral half-visions of something that looks vaguely like Truth. Or maybe it's the drugs. 
• It's getting weirder in here. Time to go to bed.