Since graduating from college in 1986 I have wanted to go back to college. It wasn't a high priority in the 80s and 90s, and I did other things. Other things that for the most part I don't regret, exactly. Mostly. But now I'm doing the school thing again, and while I enjoy the academic scholarship, there are other aspects of college life that, well, I'm having trouble with. Refer to the second sentence there at the top of the post.
My classmates are, with few exceptions, 25 (or more) years younger than I am. Comparisons are odious. I catch the brunt of the odium in this comparison. And hells bells, a goodly number of my professors are younger than I am.
Let's review my reasons for going back to school.
- I love the academic scholarship. check
- I'm not doing much else, so why not do something I want to do? check
- I am stuck in this backwater reservoir of bigotry and intolerance, trying to find a spark of intelligent camaraderie. not so much
- This leads to further scholarship, upward and onward. eh, I can't see it from here
For the nonce, let's review #3. One of the plans was to meet people with whom I could have intelligent conversations, people who have something in common with me, get my jokes, can follow my logic. The problem I've encountered is my position as student. Maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough (a real possibility; I have introvert tendencies) but I've found no other students who will really engage with me. We don't have much in common, really.
The people who are closer to my age with similar cultural histories are the professors, but since I'm a student, it's inappropriate to get too close to them. It causes tricky ethical problems of dual relationships.* So once again I'm a social misfit.
Think I'll address #4 in a subsequent post.
* "Social workers enter into dual relationships when they engage in more than one relationship with a client, becoming social worker and friend, employer, teacher, business associate, or sex partner." Replace "social worker" with "instructor, professor, administrator, or staff" and "client" with "student" and there ya' go. It messes stuff up. Oh, and that "sex partner" bit? I don't see that happenin'. Ain't going there.
11 comments:
Most of the younger people I meet these days are ignorant in every possible way. It isn't just the educational thing it is generational and social. Thankfully I have knowledge and experience that helps me reach out, when they are lacking the skill sets. Us older students have to work a little harder if we want to befriend them. Sometimes we have to go the basic level of being human to find something to connect with and build from there. Don't know if that helped any, but that's my take on it anyway.
I have a dual relationship with my massage therapist. It sometimes seems strange, but I often wonder why it's strange. I hate the "inappropriateness" perception of having a dual relationship. People are people. We should be able to be friends with whomever we like.
First of all you're NOT a social misfit. Your fellow students don't see the potential you have.
And what's wrong with having a cultural relationship with a professor, you could both learn from it.
Old? Please. Remember, you're only a month ahead of me. We should have a conglomerate 48th birthday spanking party.
Indigo Incarnates
There's no way that 48 is old! :) And doing all this heavy-duty studying will certainly keep your MIND young. People who read a lot are less likely to get dementia later in life. I guess that means that you and Doug will be sharp as scalpels at age 100. Alas, I probably watch too much Doctor Who and Syngenor, so my brain will be a jello mold dish someday, hee hee.
there are draw backs to being a mature student. the most significant one i've found is more difficulty in retaining what i've learned or getting what i need to learn through my thick skull. however, the biggest advantage is that i'm not scared to ask questions, even when i'm outrageously out in left field, just to learn. i was also the age of my classmates' parents. grad school has a lot more older people, some older than me.
the residents where i work all know my love of schooling. i get to be the object lesson about how going back to school can be useful, regardless of what the school is. i've managed to influence 4 people in the past year to upgrade their education. apparently that's a bit of a record. :)
don't let the age of your classmates get in the way of your love of learning and the goals for your education. just remember that despite them being in school, chances are they don't know what they want to do when they grow up.
oh, i graduated with my undergrad (started at 44) last spring (i turned 48 last fall) and started my master's last fall. i turned 49 in oct.
you're not alone, i promise you.
All this compartmentalization (Good Lord, is that a word?...it looks far too long) is just silly.
I say start with sexual relationships with your fellow students and your professors, and then ease into the trickier ones, like 'friends' & 'fellow countrymen.'
perhaps your presence in school is a way for others to see your wisdom and role modeling. It may not be consciuosly felt but they will feel it.
You're not old - you're going to be my age - so knock it the 'eff off about being old!
Being an older student in college is like being the "old guy" in the club. The young'ns know you're there, but aren't quite sure how to approach you, or how to respond when you approach them.
Just sit back and enjoy their lack of social skills and cluelessness - it's always entertaining.
I've always wanted to go back to school but reading your posts about it freak me out. I'm usually pretty good with the young people though, I think it's because I'm still 18 in my head.
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