Successful end to an otherwise "less effective" weekend

First of all, I want to let you know that I have been working on book six. Life interfered tonight. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

This afternoon Superman and S took over the cleaning detail and got the rest of the family involved. Superman said that getting the young'uns to clean the living room was more difficult than herding cats. He would rather do it himself, but he put the kids to work on it.

S and Superman worked in the kitchen. They are doing a good bit of deep detailed work. To translate: it still looks bad in a lot of places, but a couple of parts are looking better than ever.

C did the hall bathroom. He wins the prize for succeeding against the grossest foe. It was truly nasty in there. It is still ugly, but it's clean. That bathroom needs a major re-do. At least it is clean now. I'm so pleased and proud.

And S made supper. He baked two chickens and fixed some veggies. It was quite good. He's been a busy boy today.

Here is where the day, and my attitude, shifted direction radically
The young kids had been working most of the afternoon, and wanted to go outside for a walk. That's what Sproing asked to do, anyway. He left out a few details, including that they were going to hang out with a few other kids from the neighborhood. These other kids are a few years older than Sproing and Diva, and not very nice. I didn't know anything about it.

About 7:00 the kids showed up and I told them they needed to stay home now, it was getting too late to be out. We didn't communicate well; I meant for them to come inside, they assumed they could play with the other kids in our yard. Somehow things turned ugly. One of the other boys started throwing rocks at C and S's window. S went outside to address the situation, and this one nasty hateful boy, probably 13 years old or so, got very ugly and said some insulting things referring to S and C's sexual orientation. S told him off, said to go away and never come back. By this time my young'uns were back inside and I made it clear they were to stay inside now.

Meanwhile, outside S was still trying to disperse the crowd. The other 3 children were standing with this outspoken homophobe, 2 of the three agreeing with him and adding their opinions. One little girl, much younger than the rest, didn't say anything. S came inside to tell me all about it. While he was talking to me we heard something else outside. He started toward the door and I got up and told him I needed to take care of it.

I went outside and called the children over to me in the driveway. At first they didn't move, so I made my statement again with a bit more emphasis. (Can't you see this playing out? I make it sound so sanitary the way I write it. It was kinda' ugly; not nice.) They began to approach the driveway as I continued toward them. We had a little discussion. I told them they were too old, except the little girl, to be hanging around with my children. Then I said "The people who live in my house are my family. All of them. And I love all of them as family. Yes, the boys are gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is wrong, however, to treat people the way you did. It is wrong to say such ugly things to anyone. Ever. You will not be playing with my children anymore, and you are to stay away from this house." I said this firmly, with conviction, but I did not scream.

They stood there, looking at me with contemptuous looks on their faces. (except the youngest. She just stared at me as she had the whole time.) I said "Go on, get out of here; shoo." The mouthpiece of the group said something snarky about not being a fly, then they turned slowly around and very gradually made their way down the street. I stood in the driveway and watched as they slowly retreated.

I went back inside and we had a family pow-wow. Superman had to go into work this evening, but the rest of us were in the living room for a really good family discussion. I told Diva and Sproing that they are not to play with those kids anymore. We talked about persecution, being nice, respecting others, not allowing people to get away with saying such stuff, etc. I told them they could, if they felt comfortable about it, try to educate their friends about how homosexuality is normal and not an evil thing. Or they could not associate with people who persecuted others on any account, be it gay or racist or whatever.

We discussed our basic three rules. 1) Respect yourself, 2) Respect others, 3) Do the right thing. The young'uns get teased a lot because they are black and we are white. They get taunted because they live with "faggots." We talked about how that stuff is wrong, and we aren't to do it ourselves. I told them to have enough respect for themselves to not hang out with kids who do that sort of thing. Many times they, especially Diva, will hang around with kids who pay attention to them, but treat them badly. She seems so desperate to be liked, she's willing to sacrifice her self respect. (This came up in the psychological testing she had last year, too.)

The kids don't get along with each other. Any of them. (Well, except for C and S. They bicker some, but they get along with each other very well. But that's another thing entirely.) Sproing and Diva fight with each other, and are disrespectful and nasty to the older kids. Case in point, when Superman and I went out last night they called us repeatedly to tattle on each other. Oy. Twitch frequently treats the young ones badly. He cusses at them and gets physical when they don't do what he screamingly demands they do. And he doesn't understand why they don't respect him. Yes, I addressed that issue in front of the whole family. He "yes ma'am" 'd me. We shall see. Everyone needs to show A LOT more respect for everyone else!!!! Get a clue, y'all! I focused especially on Sproing and Diva taking direction from the older ones when mommy and daddy aren't available. They seem to think they can do whatever they want, say whatever they want to the others when we aren't here. It makes for a tense environment.

It was a good discussion. I didn't scream, no one argued, they asked a lot of questions which I addressed with respect. It was a very positive experience, all in all. I hope they feel that way, too. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, very cooperative, when we were finished. I told the young'uns to get ready for bed, and they got right to it without complaint.

I'm feeling good about this. I hope this sweetness and light attitude lasts a while. At least for a week. That'd be good.