Rolling Along

So I saw my doctor last week. She's leaving us!! This is the PA who came in when our long time family physician retired. I'm despondent. Anyway, she came into the exam room and noticed immediately that I look better, as in less stressed and stuff. So yeah, having those two young people out of my house is a good thing. But we knew that.

Last week I also saw my cancer doctor, the gynecological oncologist. He did a lab test thingie, the results of which I haven't heard yet, but the physical exam looked real good, he said. So onward and upward, or something.

Oh, there was this hurricane thing that happened out in the Atlantic east of here. South Carolina is all in the news about terrible flooding, the worst in 1000 years or something. Well, I'm fine. The yard is pretty sodden, the dog comes in from the back yard with mud on his paws. Otherwise, it's all good. That cannot be said about much of the state; check the news sources for details. The Java household is relatively unscathed.

Superman went with me to see the cancer doctor, because he's all concerned and stuff. We stopped for lunch at Panera, a treat because we have no such goodness here in Greenwood. And on the way home we got a call from Diva's birth mother Janice. Diva had broken one of Janice's rules and they had an animated disagreement about it. Diva had a boy over to the house while Janice was at work. OK, for me, when Diva lived here, that was not something I'd fuss about. She's going to do it anyway and I don't want to argue over that. Just not worth it to me. But not Janice. Don't know for sure why she called us, but we got an earful. And Janice said this was Diva's second strike. One more blatant disobedience and she was out. Well, I told her that Diva needs to find somewhere up there to live, someone else to live with, because we aren't taking her back. HA! I felt so strong.

Diva was nonchalant about having the boy over, about breaking a strict rule. I think that made Janice as mad as anything else. Diva doesn't like the rule, so she ignores it. It doesn't apply to her. She is above the rules. That child is gonna get into some big trouble one of these days. I am SO GLAD she doesn't live here anymore! While we were on the phone with them, I felt my heart rate increase. Perhaps my blood pressure went up too, I don't know. But there was this "ugh" feeling in my chest just listening to her holler. She was screaming at Janice as Janice was talking to us. *shudder*

We got a letter in today's mail informing us of Sproing's preliminary hearing to be held the afternoon of 20 October. I don't know how long after the preliminary hearing he'll have his trial. I hope they keep him in jail past his birthday in January. I don't want to deal with him, either.

So Superman and I are planning to visit his parents this weekend. These people are my in-laws, bless their hearts. I can do a couple of hours at a time with them and be fine. We're spending two days there, though. My mother-in-law and I are so very different. (My Mama and I are very different, too, but in different ways.) I'm easily annoyed by the m-i-l. For instance, she asked Superman yesterday what time we'd be arriving on Friday. (He's taking the day off work, so we'll leave here Friday.) Well, gosh, I don't know what time we'll get there! I don't know what time we'll leave here. It depends on how the morning rolls. I'm not a big planner. She is. And if we give her an estimate, she will expect us to be there exactly then.

If she was the one making the trip, she'd be all packed up the night before, everything in the car, probably. She'd set the alarm clock to get up precisely at (whatever time she thinks appropriate). A quick breakfast would transpire, and they'd be out the door and on their way at precisely the time she planned. And she'd show up on our doorstep at precisely the time (give or take 5 minutes, no more for sure) she said she'd be here. And expect me to have a full meal (meat and three, dessert, etc.) ready to go on the table as soon as they pull up. And berate me if everything wasn't ready, even if I'd cut my thumb so bad it needed stitches whilst preparing said meal. (True story there) And I, being the ever patient loving daughter-in-law that I am (-rolls eyes-) would refrain from telling her that if she doesn't like what's here, there's a Burger King just around the corner and she can get the fuck out of my house. No, I did not say that, but I thought it. I took a deep breath and turned away from her. And I finally got dinner on the table maybe half an hour later (don't remember exactly; it was a good 20 years ago), still with my bleeding thumb wrapped in a rag. And I ate dinner with them with my thumb throbbing. Then I went to the doctor's office to have it stitched up.

I may have some lingering animosity about that event. I still have the scar on my thumb.

She really is a very nice lady.  A fine person, thoughtful and hard working. We just have different priorities, different perspectives on the world. And very different sociopolitical philosophies. My stars, there are so many things we can't discuss when we're visiting them. And I can't cuss, either. Thankfully there was this hurricane thing this past weekend, so that'll give us a safe topic to discuss. I will, however, most likely go to the Baptist Church on Sunday morning. That should be... fun. I like the singing. It only lasts an hour.

This afternoon I mentioned to Superman my qualms about the upcoming visit. He said "You have put up with Diva and Sproing for all these years. You can deal with anything." I appreciate his faith in me.

The bitch is back

Wasn't that last post so nice and uplifting? Or something. This one is not like that one.

Diva is home from school today, suspended for the day. She only got one day this time, and only because she wouldn't go to the in-school suspension room yesterday. As I heard it, someone heard her say a cuss word in the cafeteria before school and reported her to the boogie man. She denies saying the cuss word. Yes, she said the sentence, but didn't put the cuss word in it that the witness claims was there. Knowing this child, I think she probably said the cuss word. Anyway, she feels wrongly accused, and refused to take the punishment. So she's home today to punish me. I hate this policy.

I'm trying to make her life miserable, though. OK, not completely, not specifically, not generally. I am, however, giving her chores to do and not acting very friendly. She's slamming stuff around, being aggressively angry toward stuff. Thankfully she isn't aggressive toward me. So far. She's pissing me off, though. I started the day pissed off simply because she is here instead of at school.

Coping strategies so far include surfing the web, writing this post, and eating two small dishes of chocolate pudding. In reserve I have drugs and booze. If it gets really bad I'll take my Ativan. If it's bad but not drug use bad, I'll drink a beer. Or two. Or three. Also, there may be a nap in my future.

Really uncomfortable cramps complicate the situation. Damn, I want to pinch her little head off. On the plus side, she swept and vacuumed the kitchen, living room, and halls. She did a mediocre job of it, but it's better than it was.

I avoid my problems by sleeping. When I get emotionally stressed I get very, very sleepy. This used to happen all the time in the earlier years of our marriage when we'd visit his parents. Being around his mother put me to sleep, and not because she is a boring person. She isn't boring, but her idea of interesting is my idea of stress. My least favorite mode of interesting is criticizing the son and daughter-in-law and/or their children. To make matters worse, her other grandchildren, the daughters of her daughter and son-in-law, are perfect. The now-ex- son-in-law got lots of criticism, though. I spell it s-t-r-e-s-s.

I don't like the way these sentences go together in the paragraphs. There are sentences that do not belong with the others, but I'm too sleepy to fix them. In a further example, this is an art thing. Or a failure thing. For the past few days (weeks?) I have started some project or other and been frustrated with the outcome. I have the idea in my head, but the process of producing it gets messed up somewhere. A simple circle in a square becomes a rat's nest. A stack of blocks becomes entangled in string that isn't supposed to be there. Perhaps I'm too focused on the process and not the product, so the process gets in the way.

Well, that last paragraph was helpful. Thank you. I feel a bit less strung up.