Two weeks ago today...

I had surgery to remove all my female reproductive organs. See previous posts. Oh look, it's still Thursday (but less than an hour to go until Friday). I meant to write this post earlier today, but it's my first day this week online and I got distracted with emails and of course the Facebork.

Yesterday (Wednesday 18 Feb) I saw the gynecologic oncologist for my post surgery checkup. All is well, more or less. There was indeed cancer in the endometrium, as he suspected there might be. It was stage 2 (of 3), so that's a little bit more frightening than had it only been stage 1. However, there was no cancer in the muscle of the uterus or in any of the lymph nodes he removed. He couldn't get to the lymph nodes on my left side because I have some wicked scarring in there. I have no idea how the scar tissue developed. Weird. Anyway, he saw no more cancer besides what was involved in the endometrium. Good news.

However, the cancer might return. Where? I ask, because I have no more uterus or ovaries or fallopian tubes to get the cancer. Ah, but there's still the vagina, he says. Oh. That would be very bad. I have no further need of the uterus, ovaries, or fallopian tubes. The vagina, on the other hand, still plays an important role in my life. And in Superman's life. The doctor says the greatest chance of developing cancer is in the next two years, so he wants to see me every three months for the next two years to continue monitoring the situation.

I thought once I lost the cervix (it's part of the uterus, so it is gone) I'd be done with PAP smears. No such luck, because now they'll PAP the vagina. Oh well. Probably not as uncomfortable as the cervical PAP. I hope.

I'm frankly a bit scared about recurrence. For years I figured I'd probably end up with some kind of cancer. The odds being what they are. Now I have had cancer, it's been surgically removed, and there appears to be no more of it in my body. Also, no further treatment is necessary. But now that I have had cancer, I'm afraid it might return. I really don't want any more cancer, thankyouverymuch. Haven't I paid my dues, Life? Eh, Life doesn't work that way. Life works thusly: Shit Happens. Sometimes it's good shit, sometimes it's bad shit, but shit continues to happen.

Speaking of shit happening; COLD. Today's high temp didn't quite reach freezing. That's very rare for our part of South Carolina. Tonight's low forecast is 11F. I know many of my blog buddies north of here are experiencing much colder temps, but by gosh, this is pretty cold for us. Dearest Daughter Light in western Pennsylvania hasn't seen anything close to above freezing in I don't know how long. It's amazing. Below zero Fahrenheit. Wicked whipping winds blowing snow horizontally. As of yesterday she was still alive. Haven't heard from her today, and I assume no news is good news. Surely she'd let me know if she froze to death, right? She fell on the ice last week, but didn't do any more harm than a couple of scrapes and bruises. Poor Ron, retired in Delaware, messed up his knee falling on the ice.

With this cold weather we got a bit of precipitation Monday. Freezing rain, which is the curse of the south. It rarely snows, but we get our share of freezing rain. Thankfully the roadways were warm enough to not ice over in most of this area. Just a bit north, in Greenville and Spartanburg counties, they had road ice. Anyway, the power lines iced up as did trees. We lost power for about four hours Tuesday morning, from 7:20 to 11:20, and that was a lot less time than some folks did. The houses across the street evidently are on a different trunk line or something, because the neighbor lost power at midnight Monday night/Tuesday morning. The power outage wasn't such a big deal, but the cable outage was. We get our internet through the cable company. No TV, no big deal. No internet, BIG deal! The internet came back yesterday late morning, but I had a doctor's appointment in the early afternoon and after that I was reading, so didn't hit the internet until this afternoon.

The recovery time for my surgery (I changed topics again) is from two to six weeks. The doctor has increased my maximum weight lifting limit. It was 10 lbs, is now 15 lbs. Also, I can drive again. In celebration (or something) I went to the grocery today. I had Superman bring home the two gallons of milk we needed when he came home for lunch, because milk is heavy. I got a few things this afternoon. It was my first time out by myself since before the surgery. Yesterday going to the doctor was my first time out of the house since I got home from the hospital two weeks ago Friday. As I may have mentioned here before, I have a touch of agoraphobia. I feel more comfortable at home. Don't like to go out, especially to large crowded spaces. Some days Wal-Mart freaks me the hell out. Today I went to Aldi, which is much smaller, and I went between 2 and 3 o'clock when the store was sparsely populated. Even then, by the time I got to the check out line the anxiety was ratcheting up. I managed to get home OK, though, and didn't take any anxiety meds. So good for me.

Per Herr Doctor's orders, I still need to "take it easy." Not lift more than 15 lbs for the next four weeks, so no going back to the gym for weight machines. I can walk the treadmills, though, and that would be a good idea. They had told me before surgery that I couldn't resume sexual intercourse for six weeks, so I said something to the doc yesterday about only four more weeks for that. Nope, now I have to wait six weeks from yesterday to have sex. Shit. This is turning into a depressingly celibate winter. At least we can still snuggle.

A Haiku, dedicated to my friends and relatives suffering in the winter weather up north:

Wicked whipping wind
Blows snow horizontally.
Damn, it's cold out there! 

I'm restless

but not bored!

This is the first full week of summer break for the kids. I made it to the second day before I lost it. Sproing was the instigating factor, he and all, I dunno, ten of his noisy friends who were in my living room all day playing video games in the dark. And he was R-U-D-E to me. He does that sometimes, then other times he's as nice and gentle as can be. I wish he'd be gentle and considerate all the time, but what's a wish worth? And he's 16 years old, so that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Anyway, I had a good long cry, part of it in front of him. He's been nicer since then and I feel better, too. And on the third day, yesterday, I opened the back door and the curtain to bring natural light into the living room. He left it like that most of the day, so I'm pleased. Ish.

So, the restlessness. I think this is part of the Abilify medication. Seems I've more gumption to do stuff than I have stuff to do. And last night I woke up just before 3:00. I did some laundry, Faceborked a bit, found that thing I knew I had but didn't know where. Do you ever have a thing and there's something else that goes with it, or is necessary for it to work, but you don't seem to ever find the two things together at the same time? Yeah, that's me a lot of the time. Well, since I've been organizing some of my junk (and throwing some of it away) I actually know where some stuff is. Not everything by a long shot, but some stuff. And last night I found that thing that goes with the other thing that I cleaned up off the front porch recently.

Yesterday evening Superman and I transplanted sunflower seedlings into the small fence garden we have in the front yard. Don't know if they will survive because they were kinda young to transplant, but I'd started them in the little peat pellet things which are too small for starting sunflowers. I also have some marigolds started in the peat pellets and they're progressing just fine. Maybe one day I'll get some pics up here.

I never got back to sleep last night/today. I got dressed and went to the gym at 5:30. Last night I was thinking I wouldn't go today, but what the hell else can I do at 5 a.m.? So I spent half an hour walking a mile on the treadmill. Not much, I know, but I'm starting where I'm comfortable. I did sweat, so there's that. And the shower once I got home felt really good. Oh, and I stepped on the scale at the gym and I'm down a couple more pounds. I haven't been this low since sometime last fall, I think. Still not to the weight I achieved last summer, but I'm about five pounds from it. This feels good, except for the hunger part. And I'm not often hungry anyway. I'd love to have a bowl of cereal, but we're off grains entirely for the first two weeks. We've got about a week and a half until that bowl of cereal happens. tick tick tick tick

Diva finished her "seat time" at school yesterday at 11:00. So the meltdown I had on Tuesday didn't involve Diva at all as she wasn't even on her summer break yet. Gagh! She got out of school late yesterday morning and went directly over to her friend's house. Not Morq in Abbeville, but the girl who lives within walking distance. She spent the night there last night. Yippee!!

Late in the day Monday I realized our big freezer wasn't working. It's been acting squirrely for a few weeks, and it finally died or whatever. So Tuesday morning after dropping Diva at school I went to Lowe's and bought a freezer. A congelateur. Multilingual boxes are fun. Guy shopping is fun, too. I went into the store, picked up a 35 lb. bag of birdseed on the way to appliances. I found the freezer I wanted in about three seconds. Was looking for a smallish upright freezer. There was one small one at the end of a row of big ones. Ba-da-bing. Found the lady working the department, told her what I wanted, she did her computer thingie and ta-da. She told me to go to the checkout and give the phone number associated with our account and there it would be. So I did. As I was checking out the nice young man (cute, brunette, slender and quite strong) came up front with my freezer. I pulled the truck to the entrance there and he loaded it. By himself. Picked the thing up and put it on the tailgate. I was impressed. I got my ratcheting tie-downs around the box and secured it in the truck bed. The whole affair, from parking to driving away, lasted maybe ten minutes. Less than fifteen, anyway. I love efficient shopping like that.

Oh, I had to get some new athletic shoes for this gym thing we're doing. I despise shoe shopping. Superman went with me and I found a shoe I liked in relatively short time. It would have taken much longer if I'd gone alone. I'm glad he was with me.

I'm itching for a road trip. I want to go visit Light and see my other friend who lives there. A fabulously tall gay man who sometimes is a woman. I can relate. I'm a woman (not all that tall, not terribly fabulous) who is sometimes a man. Anyway, Nik has become a good friend. We can spend hours and hours talking. Way into the night. The night before I have to get up and drive in the freezing cold from western PA to Delaware. Hence the need for a nap Friday afternoon, to those bloggerpalooza participants. Oops, got distracted again. So I want to take a road trip back to western PA. Again. And it's time for my annual escape trip. School is out and I need to take an emotional breather to survive the rest of the summer. Thing is, though, what with buying a freezer and getting my truck fixed recently, road trip money done got spent. My truck works, but I can't afford to take it anywhere. Also it still needs the new gasket on the lifter place. And my guy says it'll cost at least $400 to do that. So here I sit. I might be able to finagle a road trip in a month or so, but I'm not sure.