conversations at home

Today is garbage pick-up day. The kids are on spring break this week, so no one but the grownups has to get up early, which throws the Tuesday morning trash routine out of wack. Last night I asked Twitch to go ahead and take the garbage can and recycle bin out to the road. Of course he didn't want to.

Twitch: Mom, what time will they come by to get the garbage?

Java: The driver called me today to say he would be here at 7:53 tomorrow morning.

Twitch: Oh. OK. 

Java: Gee whiz, son, I don't know when they'll be here! 

Twitch: You were being sarcastic??

Java: YES! The city isn't going to call and let everyone know exactly when their garbage will be picked up!

Twitch: Well they should.

And he honestly believes that. 

Twitchiness

Meet Twitch, my son. He is my son, and I love him very much. This isn't always easy. I woke up very early this morning and he was already awake. He greeted me with fuss and argument. This is not what I want to do at 4:30 in the morning before I've had my coffee.


Things about Twitch

1. He is 16 years old.
2. He will be 17 on Valentine's Day.
3. He is 6 feet tall, weighs aprox. 230 lbs.
4. His hair is coarse and tends to curl a bit, though isn't what you'd call curly, exactly. And it is a medium brown color. He wants straight hair.
5. He likes heavy metal music. Or at least I think that's what they call that screaming thumping noise that pulses through the walls of his room.
6. He likes to listen to his music when he wakes up in the morning, even if it is 3:00 in the morning.
7. He's not very considerate of others. Oh, I said that. He's 16.
8. He suffers from a number of neurological irregularities.
9. When he suffers, we all suffer. He's 16.
10. He's been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depression, and Tourette's Syndrome. I suspect he also has some anxiety disorder.
11. He suffers a lot. And I really do sympathize with him, and feel bad for him. However, refer to #9 above.
12. One symptom of the above disorders (probably Tourette's or OCD, maybe more) is physical tics. These manifest in the poor boy as a need to rattle any paper he is holding, bang his fist on tables, desks, counters, etc., bang the back of his arm/elbow against a wall or chair that he's leaning against, and bang his fist against his thigh. There are more, but that's what I can think of right now.
13. He is compelled to speak very fast. He rushes to get his words out as fast as he can, and doesn't pay adequate attention to annunciation. His speech can be virtually impossible to understand at times. When asked to repeat himself, he usually spits it out as fast as he did the first time. This is frustrating for everyone, including himself.
14. He is easily frustrated.
15. He likes to argue. He denies this, very argumentatively. It would be funny if it wasn't me he was arguing with. You may laugh if you like.
16. He is very intelligent. He reasons in unique ways, and conversations with him can be very surreal. It has been ever thus, since he began to speak in sentences at age 3.
17. He talks to himself. A lot. He carries on in depth conversations with himself when he is alone in his room.
18. He talks in his sleep. Loudly. Sometimes it is difficult to tell if he's awake or asleep when we hear his voice through the walls of his room. He usually makes more sense when he's awake. Usually. We all find this amusing.
19. He belches most impressively. His burps resound through the house.
20. He is a Boy Scout. He has been active in Boy Scouts since the 5th grade. Currently he holds the rank of Star Scout, but he only needs to have a board of review to make Life Scout. He is aiming for Eagle Scout, and is more than half way there now. I am extremely proud of him for this accomplishment.
21. He is good at all those scout-y things, like camping and building fires and chopping wood. This is useful.
22. He is good at naming things. He named our dog, Ruby. He used to name all of his stuffed animals. He has named a few other things, but I don't remember what exactly. He gets the essence of the thing in his naming.
23. He likes animals, especially cats. He has a cat, an all black neutered male we acquired one October (I think) named, appropriately, Samhain. Because of the allergies of many family members the cat is an outside cat. Current temperature 27F. I let him inside a few minutes ago. I'm not completely heartless.
24. His social skills aren't good. I suspect he is on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum. I have discussed this with some of his doctors, but there hasn't to my knowledge been an official diagnosis. He doesn't make friends easily.
25. He is very unique, obviously. A teenage boy attending public school is at a social disadvantage if he is unique. A socially challenged unique teenage boy is in deep doo doo.
26. He makes good grades when he applies himself. He is very smart and can remember a lot. But he has standards. If a teacher gives an assignment that he deems irrelevant he won't do it. Last year in art class he didn't like the final assignment the teacher gave them. She assigned a research paper on any famous artist. He wanted to do an art project; you know, make art. So he didn't do the assignment. He took a grade of 96 down to a 74. That is passing, but barely. I was livid. This is not adaptive behavior. That won't fly in the real world.
27. He is a good artist. He especially likes to draw. He doesn't use color much, just graphite pencil or sometimes charcoal. Cartoons are among his favorite things to draw. He's got an odd sense of humor, somewhat dark, often very funny. His art has been one of the best expressive outlets for him as he struggles through the growing up process.
28. He likes to read cartoons. One of his favorites is Calvin and Hobbes. (The boy has good taste in cartoons with this one, IMHO) He learned to read by reading Calvin and Hobbes comic books. I home schooled him until he was in 6th grade. He resisted reading. Hell, he resisted just about anything. He's stubborn. But he loved Calvin and Hobbes and would spend long hours on his bed looking at the books. The humor spoke to him, and he had to read it to get it, so he did. I gave him a few tools, but he taught himself to read.

I was very angry with the boy when I sat down to write this. I'm glad I did this, though. It has calmed me down and helped me remember the struggles he has. It has also reminded me how funny and smart and unique and special he is, those things about him I really like.

At issue this morning: The cat. It is, as I mentioned, kinda' cold here. The cat comes inside sometimes when it is very cold. Twitch isn't allergic to cats, and it is his cat, so Samhain often spends his inside time in Twitch's room. This is normal. However we have no litter box for the cat in there, and no food. Samhain only hides out in there temporarily. He's an active kitty and wants to roam anyway.

Twitch has a bed, but doesn't like his mattress. It is an old and saggy mattress, and I don't blame him for disliking it. C and S recently bought themselves a new futon, but like their old futon mattress better than the one that came with the new one, so they gave this extra futon mattress to the boy. He put it on top of his existing mattress. I told him to put a sheet on it to protect it. He's 16, and straight, so he needs to be told these things. Well, he's 16 and I'm his mom, so of course he didn't do what I asked him to. 2 weeks ago.

Last night Samhain was in his room. Someone else threw the cat in there, he claims. The cat, being a cat, barfed on the mattress. The mattress that has no sheet on it. Twitch, being 16, either couldn't or didn't want to figure out how to clean it up. So he took the mattress off his bed and carried it to the living room and dumped it on the floor. When I came out of my room at 4:45 he immediately started fussing at me (rather loudly for the hour and the number of people asleep in the house) because someone put the cat in his room. He demanded to know who did it because punishment must be administered. Now? Whatever. I fussed at him because he hadn't put a sheet on his bed, pointing out that a sheet is easier to clean than a mattress. This is the same reasoning I gave 2 weeks ago when I told him to put the sheet on. But I digress.

I asked if he'd cleaned up the mess. At first he said yes, but really he'd just moved the mattress. Then he admitted the mess was still there, so I had him show it to me. Gentle readers, this cat barf mess was the littlest bit of nothing I've seen in a while. One spot about 3-4 inches across. He said he couldn't find any all-purpose cleaner. I had him get a rag, wet it, and wipe the mess up. Didn't even use any cleaner. Then I found the Febreeze for him to spray on it and made him carry it back to his room. The whole time he was arguing with me, demanding to know who put the cat in his room. I don't know, I went to bed early last night. That's not the point, anyway. What's done is done. Water under the bridge. Cat barf already on the mattress. Just deal with it and move on. But he's 16. And OCD. Good gawd.

He was arguing loudly, he was stomping and banging, he had his music up too loud. That he didn't wake up Sproing is a miracle. Sproing is a very light sleeper, and sleeps on the other side of the wall from Twitch's room.

He's my son. He has issues. He is also a wonderful young man with lots of promise. And I love him. And he went back to bed so isn't here to continue aggravating me. All is well.