It's Sproing. He is having an exceptionally bad day. I took him to see his therapist this morning and he ran away from her. He ran out of the building and down the street, but stopped at the stop sign. I picked him up and brought him home. He's in his room now, banging things around and grumbling.
The therapist gave me a book to read about parenting. It describes an organized plan for behavior modification, including a list of clear rules, rewards for following the rules, and consequences for breaking the rules. We need to implement this plan soon. Superman needs to read the book. Light is currently reading it. Everyone needs to be on board with this plan because it is a whole family/household plan. C needs to be on board, too. These rules will apply to everyone, and the consequences will too. The rewards only apply to the child, though I think we could probably arrange something for the adults if the need arises.
Consequences involve acts of service, chore type stuff. We need to write all this out, come up with rules, consequences, and rewards that apply to our family. If we can get this thing going, and keep it going, it should make life easier. I hope. Consistency is critical, and is one of my weaknesses. I feel threatened/challenged by this plan. I'm going to have to commit to some things that make me uncomfortable. I feel a grumble coming on.
In the meantime, Sproing hates everybody. He wishes he were dead. He has always hated me. I should never have adopted him (he says). He's stupid and ugly (he says). I told him that I love him, no matter what, and that I want him to be with us. He refused to listen to me, plugged his fingers into his ears and turned his back toward me. As much as I love him, right now I want to bind him with duct tape and secure him to his bed. Of course I won't do that, but the fantasy is kinda nice.
I am tired. Very, very tired.
7 comments:
As someone who has always given my kids consequences, I have to say you need to embrace this. Java, it will totally change your family for the better. It will be hard but it will be worth it to get a firm handle on the chaos. Be strong, your family needs a leader. Be what they need. It will benefit you in the end.
I think this is a splendid concept! Every action has an equal and opposite reaction; one of the first lessons I remember learning in science. The simple fact being that all of life has rules and consequences for the breaking of those rules... the sooner everyone embraces their responsibility for themselves, the better.
Be strong and embrace positive change... it's a good thing!
-C
Good luck with this. If you can all pull this off, you will all benefit....as you said. Consistency is so important to kids (and adults too). Knowing limits gives us parameters in which to function securely. Crack that whip!
I soooooo use to have a picture of some kid who was duck-taped to the wall. It would be PERFERCT for your comment section here! but, alas I can not find it...which might be a good thing actually it might of encouraged you.....lol
the definition of mental health is the acceptance of ambivalence. the ability to feel you drive me crazy but I love you still - you seem to have this. so hang in there.
I read this this morning on another blog and I thought of your post.
http://bentonquest.blogspot.com/2010/06/pentecost-3-year-c-grace-vs-law.html
Sorry to hear Sproing is acting up again. I know this must be so hard on you and superman. Does life ever give you a break?
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