Some thoughts for the day

The education system? It's a big game. It has rules. Play by the rules and you get the prize. Some rules relate to chunks of information, some rules are social in nature. Public education for children, the K-12 years, is mostly about social rules. College has social rules, but has a stronger emphasis on getting the facts correct. Small victories receive small prizes - that B I got on the test. Larger victories, the compilation of the small ones, get a bigger prize; the grade for the course and academic credits applied toward graduation. The grand prize is graduation and the diploma.

It's an illusion, but a very convincing one. Upon graduation one must come to the realization that it was all a game, and that game is over. What's next? Work, probably, unless you choose to jump back in the game for graduate school. Work, career, the corporate world is another game, but one with different rules. As I understand it, there is less commonality between the academic game and the career game than any student wants to admit. Many skills developed in academia don't translate well into the workplace. That's a generalization, and some highly technical jobs relate more to academic skills than other less technical pursuits. In many jobs, the social rules are most important.

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Today is the last day of spring break. I had a good break, lots of stuff happened that I would tell you about except I don't have time right now. Indigo visited from Saturday evening until Wednesday morning. That was nice. I did a small crochet project of which I'm kinda proud. I will take a picture and post it later, but you may have to remind me. Right now I have a bunch of school work to do. I didn't attend to my studies over the week as I should have. There is a good chunk of work to do before 2:15 tomorrow, when a bunch of stuff is due in my behavioral stats class. Argh! I don't have that burning desire to perform in this class. The prof, though a nice lady, isn't overly inspirational. The experiment we're working on is only mildly interesting, and I am losing interest the further into it we go. I have a stack of research articles to skim through, and a few paragraphs of Important Research Findings to write. It's all made-up bullshit, and I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to do it.

This afternoon we will drive up to see Sproing and have a family therapy session with his counselor. I can't skip this. We will be discussing plans for his return home. He will probably be moving back home later this month. As much as I miss him, I'm used to him not being here. Things are calmer without him here. I want him home again, but at the same time I like him being away. It's a conundrum. That boy has been an conundrum in my life for a long time. I love him, he's a precious young man. I'm excited about his progress and eager to be a part of his transformation into manhood. I need to hold onto that thought, as it propels me forward.

Almost two weeks ago now I had lunch with Mel. I meant to write about it much sooner than now. He was in the area visiting family, and he came into town to meet me for lunch. I had a great time. It's so affirming to meet bloggers and have so much to share, having already established something of a relationship through the blogosphere. I very much enjoyed visiting with Mel. He's a great guy.

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Emotionally, I've been all over the place. I'm satisfied, I'm upset, I'm distracted, I'm deeply depressed, I'm pleased, I'm ... everywhere. I hate this emotional roller-coaster. I'm unsettled, I guess is the heart of the matter.

OK, time to do other things. Don't know how much I'll be able to read blogs or write here in the next few weeks. After spring break the pressure is on with the school work. Lots and lots of games to play, tricks to perform before the end of the semester. I think we've got about 6 more weeks of this crazy shit, and it gets crazier the closer we come to the end. Aw, shit.