A brief history of my last 20 years book five

How we got here

Why we got here

What we're doing here

Book five

Now then, where were we? We had settled fairly well into the new ugly house in the conveniently located yet stifling neighborhood. By now both of the older kids are at the high school, Twitch a freshman and Light a junior. The young whipper-snappers were in 2^nd grade and not doing too well, but I don't want to talk about that.

Light was developing some good friendships and was excelling in school. This is what she's like, though. It comes easier for her than for my other kids. Everybody likes Light. She was involved with a few clubs at school and in the youth group at the large Baptist church just up the road from the high school.

One of her friends was a young man named C. Yup, that's our gay… I mean guy! He was very active at the church. He was a senior, as were most of Light's friends that year. For a while she had a bit of a crush on him.

Light and I have a very close relationship. We communicate well. Although we've had our share of differences and aggravations with one another, we share a lot of stuff with each other. I've always respected her opinions and most of her boundaries. I hold her trust, and she mine. If she tells me something in confidence, it goes no further.

She is like that, too. She listens well to others and doesn't betray a confidence. However, the lives of teenagers are a lot more complicated sometimes than a teenager is mature enough to handle. She had friends who were going through some tough stuff who would talk to her about it. If she felt like she needed a sympathetic but more mature perspective on something, she'd talk about it to me, yet without revealing the identity of the friend in need.

In late autumn she began to talk to me a little bit about "a friend" who was dealing with "a difficult situation." Mainly she was asking me to pray for this friend. I think also she wanted to express the concern just to have someone to share the burden with. She didn't tell me anything about the problem or who was struggling. But she brought it up every week or so. I sympathized, which was about all I could do of course.

There were a few of her friends who were dealing with various struggles. These are 15-19 year olds. It's a hard time in their lives. I knew, or suspected, who some of the kids might be. But there was one in particular she was especially concerned about. She finally told me that it was C, although she didn't say what the issue was, and swore me to secrecy. Not a problem. I didn't know him at the time. She had pointed him out to me in a crowd of kids at the church once, but I wouldn't have recognized him if he came up and punched me in the nose.

Over Christmas break, a few days before New Years Day, C came over to the house so he and Light could dye their hair. This was the first time I'd spoken to the boy. Superman and I were sitting on the sofa in the living room and the kids walked by on the way to the bathroom with their boxes of hair dye. C was giggling like a school girl. I turned to Superman and jokingly said "I wonder if he knows he's gay?"

Sure enough he was struggling with coming out. He had come out to Light I think before Christmas, and after school resumed he came out to more of the kids, expanding his confession to a wider circle of acquaintances. As many of you know, once the news gets out to so many people it takes on a life of its own. Pretty soon anyone who gave a damn knew that C thought he was gay. (That's the way most people perceived it, I think: he thought he was gay.) He got a lot of flack from most of the kids in the youth group and a big dump of grief from the youth group leader. Many of the kids at school only spoke to him to condemn him. There was a core group who stuck by him, Light of course being one of them.

And by this time I knew all about it. I sympathized with his grief but still held the view I'd learned in church about homosexuality. I thought it was a bad idea. Wrong, even. Though I didn't understand it very well, I wasn't willing to hate him for being gay. I still hardly knew him. We'd never talked, just the two of us. But Light had spoken so lovingly about him and his trials that I couldn't help but feel sympathy.

Meanwhile, back on the bus, I'd been taken off of the special needs route that I'd substituted on for most of the year. Another one of the drivers was going out on maternity leave and the boss needed me to take over her route. It was a regular route, and a rough one. Not the worst, but far from the best. I'm much better with the special needs students. This crowd was primarily from the old mill villages in town. The mills are almost all closed now, so the villages are populated with a wide variety of people. The houses are small and most of them were built in the first quarter of the 20^th century. In other words, cheap housing. A few of the areas are known for drug activity and other violence. These kids had a tough life, and they expressed it in their behavior.

One of the students on my bus was a very attractive, tall but slight boy with long hair and penetrating green eyes. His name was S. He usually sat directly behind my seat, mostly away from the tougher kids in the back of the bus. He talked to some of the girls but rarely to any other boys. I had my suspicions. J One day as the senior prom was approaching I heard him tell the girl in the next seat that he wanted to wear a dress to the prom; a green one that would set off his eyes. I listened intently. This guy was the source of some very interesting conversation!

The thing about S: he's pretty much never been in any closet. He's not flamboyantly obvious, but he speaks his mind and has a few telling affectations. He speaks with no shame about who or what he is. At 16 years old this was impressive. He had a toughness about it, though. A chip on the shoulder attitude as a defense against the bullies. He also had a big mouth without much control over what came out of it. He had been in some trouble and was now one of "the usual suspects" with the administration at school. I thought he was adorable.

C's trials were increasing, as one might expect. One day he got a call at home from another boy who called to ask him out. C wasn't a bit interested in this guy, so of course said "no." His mom asked who called, and C told her it was a guy from school who wanted to get together with him. Innocuous enough, right? Well, not surprisingly, C didn't have a large number of friends and didn't do a lot of socializing. His mom innocently suggested it might be nice to get together with a friend. Can you recognize this golden opportunity to come out to Mom? He was out to most everyone else, he knew his mom would find out soon from someone at church, so he took a deep breath and shook up his mama's world.

What happens next? What is him mom's reaction? When do I get to talk to him? How do he and S meet? Stay tuned.