Thought for today

Life is a long lesson in humility. -James M. Barrie, novelist, short-story writer, and playwright (1860-1937)

So, Java, how are the kids?

The house is crowded. This many people living this close to each other can cause friction. So far there have been no homicides. They watch a lot of homicides, though. My girls can sit for hours watching Law & Order, NCIS, CSI, etc.

Diva

Diva is doing pretty well, all things considered. She and Sproing often get ugly with each other which is normal for 13 year old siblings. It seems kind of extreme to me, but I'm not really sure. And they can go for days without screaming at each other, so that's good. She likes to go skating, and so does Sproing. The local rink has summer afternoon specials; Monday, Wednesday, and Friday skating from noon to 5, $6 for pizza, skate rental, and five hours of fun and exercise. As long as the two young'uns aren't there at the same time, everything is hunky-dory.

Diva got her hair done over the weekend. She's got tracks. (I don't know.) She's lookin' good. She's been wearing some makeup, too, mostly lipstick and eye shadow. I don't really know how to do makeup on dark skin, but have gotten some tips from Diva's social worker. I think they are going to work together on the makeup thing sometime soon. Diva is a bit taller than average. I'm 5' 6.5" and she's almost as tall as I am. She lost almost 20 lbs when she was in the RTF. She's looking frighteningly nice from a parent's perspective.

Sproing

The boy is hyperactive. Have I mentioned that before? And oppositional. He loves to argue, but denies that he's arguing. "I don't want to argue with you anymore, Sproing." "I'm not arguing!!" If I were watching it on a family sitcom it'd be hilarious. He spends too much time in front of the TV. Oh, and he still asks me to get Grand Theft Auto for him. That's an easy answer. NO! He watches stupid stuff on Disney and Nickelodeon and plays his Xbox games. He plays basketball, football, and European football, and plays a couple of different car related games. I suppose if I were a good mother I'd make him do other stuff. I have provided diversions for him and sometimes he goes outside to play with another boy down the street.

I discovered a summer youth program that the kids could attend. It is a faith based endeavor, God bless 'em. Monday through Friday 8:30 to 3:30. They serve a light breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack. Two hours in the morning are devoted to academics. Diva said that summer camps are supposed to be fun, and anything that involves math is not fun. They'll also take the kids on a few field trips (bowling, skating, a water park) and have some organizations come in to enrich their soggy little minds. Sounds great, no?

But here's the thing. The lady who is in charge of the camp is the chorus teacher at the middle school my kids go to. Not a problem for Diva, but Sproing has something against her. They don't get along. Neither likes the other. I called her for information about the program, and recognized the last name. I hoped it was coincidental, but alas, no. I gave her my name and she said "Is that (Sproing) Lastname?" So he refuses to go. It's just as well, because if I tried to make him go he'd act out so badly there would be problems. But Diva will go. She's not overly willing, but she'll go. The program lasts for six blessed weeks, ending a week and a half before school begins in August. Hallelujah.

Light

... is home now. She has not gotten a job, and has only six weeks before she leaves for grad school. She says no one wants to hire her for six weeks. She hasn't asked, dammit. The poor dear is sleeping on the cot/daybed in my office. We don't share well. There is a lot of my junk in there and she doesn't have a lot of room. It's driving her to distraction. I'm sorry, really I am, but there isn't enough space in this house right now.

Twitch

This is his final week of the spring quarter at school. His last class is Thursday and I'll drive up and bring him home either Thursday night or Friday afternoon. Summer quarter begins the second full week of July. One more body (and it's a large, loud body) in this small house will increase friction. He shares a room with Sproing. They have different wake/sleep cycles and music preferences. You can imagine the strife.

C and N

Guess what! C and N and another couple they know are getting their own apartment! They will move July 1st. This is a positive move for them and will relieve the overcrowding here. I'm in mourning. I love those young men and hate to see them go. I am looking forward to the extra space, though. Diva will move into their room and Light will move back into her room which Diva has been occupying. The apartment the guys are going to is less than two miles from here. It's very close to the college, and C has enrolled for fall semester. Yes! He's going back to finish his degree! He's only a couple of semesters shy of graduating, but he has to take one class at a time for now. His dad, bless his heart, is helping him pay for school now, but can only afford once class at a time, and C has to work. I'm extremely excited for him. N was supposed to start at the beauty college, but things haven't meshed for that to happen yet. I'm frustrated. The kid needs to be doing something.

Summer Vacation

We're taking one. As a family we have not had a real vacation in I don't remember how long. Light bought a minivan recently and it's the only thing we have that's big enough for all six of us. So we're taking her minivan, four adults and two children, and a week's worth of stuff for all of us to Florida. We have reservations in a small motel suite on the beach for two days, then we'll spend a day and night with my darling mother, then spend two nights and a day in between with my brother. He's the kids' favorite uncle. He's very avuncular. And relatively wealthy (has more disposable income than we do), and his kids are a couple of years younger than our young ones. They have nice toys, nicer for the most part than the stuff our kids have.

I have often been to Florida to see family in the past few years, and some of the kids have gone some times. Superman hasn't been with us in years. My idea of a vacation is not the same as his. I like to go around visiting friends and relatives. He likes to go somewhere interesting and stay, doing as close to nothing as possible. This vacation splits the difference.

Superman has a bad habit of getting sick whenever we go anywhere. He gets sick nearly every time I leave him to go somewhere. I used to have sympathy for him, but now it just annoys me. I hope this time he stays well.

Census Summary

To summarize: today there are seven people living in this 3 bed/2 bath house. Actually, we only have 1.3 bathrooms. Superman is in the midst of remodeling the hall bath, and the only part of it that works is the toilet. The house is approximately 1600 square feet. The public areas include a kitchen, family room, living room and dining room. The living and dining rooms are being used as bedrooms and my office. So, 5 bedrooms, sort of, and 1.3 baths. Not much for 7 people. This weekend we'll add Twitch, making it 8 bodies. In 2.5 weeks C and N will move out, leaving 6. Before that, those 6 of us will be away on vacation for almost a week, so the 2 young men will be here by themselves. In 4 weeks, Twitch goes back to school leaving 5 in the house. A few weeks later (I'm not sure of the exact date) Light will move to the northeast for grad school, leaving 4 in the house. Are you dizzy yet?

Middle Age Rite of Passage, with soundtrack

What I'm listening to:

So Superman went through the middle age rite of passage yesterday (Friday). He had his first colonoscopy. I asked the doctor if I could keep the photographs they took, but he declined. Wouldn't that make a lovely Christmas card?

Medical professionals recommend that people get their first colonoscopy at age 50. Superman is 51. Since my mother had colorectal cancer, I got to have my first one at age 40. I'm so ahead of my time. I've had three now, and Superman has teased me when I'm drugged up. It was my turn yesterday. He was funny. He doesn't remember much.

And here's one of the benefits of being at the end of the baby boomer generation: baby boomers don't like discomfort. Colonoscopy prep keeps getting less and less distasteful. The first one I had a decade ago required me to drink a gallon of the most vile tasting stuff I've ever smelled. I couldn't keep it down. For the last one, the prep I had to drink was not that bad. Here it is two years later and Superman had an even less objectionable concoction to drink. I think the worst part for him was the liquid diet the day before the prep. He was hungry and grumpy. Then yesterday he slept all day.

This is such an old lady post. How can you stand it?

I'm the last to know

...what most of my friends and relations figured out about me long ago. But I'll get to that in a minute. First, let's have some bullet points.

• Today is C's birthday! He's 23 today. We're taking him and N out to dinner later this evening.
• The Hospice folks have assigned me to a new patient. I'll find out more tomorrow, then go for my first visit next week. I can't say much about it, confidentiality being all the rage these days. But I'm excited about starting this adventure.
• One of those therapist people is supposed to come see us this evening. Right, and we're taking C and N to dinner. I see too many therapists, honestly folks. This is the lady who works with us to help us better understand/cope/parent these crazy kids.
• And speaking of kids, today was their last day of school. This does not please me. I am sad that their summer break fills me with dread. I'm not totally unprepared, there are some possible activities to keep them busy. Hey, on the bright side, I won't be getting phone calls from school about their misbehaviors!
• Our little car has been making some odd noises. I foresee a trip to the mechanic in the near future. I noticed last week that she (her name is Eva) needs a new set of tires. And Manny my beloved truck is in bad shape. He runs, but not fast and not far.
• High temperatures in the area this week are in the mid to high 90s (F). That's mid 30s for you sophisticated metric-system-users. I managed to avoid going out today, but every other day this week I've been running errands and such in the hot middle of the day. It will only get worse over the next three to four months. I miss winter.
• My hair needs cutting. Again. Didn't we just do this a couple of months ago? I made an appointment Tuesday evening for Wednesday morning, then called early Wednesday morning to cancel it. I didn't feel comfortable about the stylist. I drove past another shop yesterday that looked decent. I should have called that shop today to set something up, but I wimped out. I like my hair short, but don't like the process of shortening it. We've discussed this.

Back to the original topic: I have a confession to make. I am a hoarder. No, it isn't as bad as the really scary stuff, but it isn't good, either. I don't attach sentimental value to used kitchen sponges or empty toilet paper tubes. I do, however, have a hard time getting rid of stuff. I mean to, I say that I want to, but when my stuff is on the line, I don't usually follow through.

I'm just realizing this about myself. If my family were to read this (extended family, the nuclear family of origin*) they would bust a gut laughing. As I begin to explore this new title, I'm faced with evidence that extends way into the past. Hell, just looking around my office I see evidence of long-term hoarding. How long have I had that (random item of junk)?

I watched an episode of the A&E program recently. It was the first time I've seen the show. I'd heard about it, but not watched it. My pathetic little self says "I'm not as bad as that person, or that one, or those weirdos." But does it matter? In the long run, probably not. I have my individual expression of the pathology (part of me denies that it is pathological) that restricts my life, as do other hoarders I have known.

I hoard more than stuff, too. Am I hoarding my hair, not wanting to allow anyone else to cut it? I dunno. Last week I got an email from a dear friend I'd not heard from in a while, and it took me four days to answer it. I think I was hoarding the essence of hearing from him. How messed up is that?

There is lots to explore and confront. We'll be returning to this topic in the future, I feel certain.

*Those of my immediate family who might read this are already laughing hysterically.

P.S. I just told C of my recent realization. He was very good. He only laughed for a minute or two.