My kitchen, or something like it

 ... or what's left of it. Let's see if I can post these pictures. These are our lovely new curtains! They do a marvelous job keeping the kitchen climate from encroaching on the rest of the house.

To the right (I think)(not sure about the format here) and below are the cabinets before Superman started tearing things out.

 Superman cut a wedge from the squishiest part of the floor, there next to the A/C vent. It's our first look at the underlayment. She don't look good, boss.

My sexy Superman removes that ugly-ass counter. Ain't he cute?

The sink and counter are gone from this cabinet.

 Superman uses the reciprocating saw (that's fun to type: reciprocating saw)

 and something shiny to break up the cabinet.

He has a small pry bar,

  but not a large crowbar. Here's another good (?) use for a large pipe wrench.

 You can see the water damage to the underlayment underneath the cabinet he just removed.

 Twitch holds a board that shows some rot.

 This dark icky stuff looks like tar paper to me, but it's the wet moldy particle board underlayment beneath the sink cabinet. Yes, it smells bad. 

 These next two shots are more of the underlayment, I think, that extends beyond the sink cabinet.

 And it goes all the way under the stove. That's where the stove was. Superman has it off to the left, blocking the narrow path from the kitchen to our tiny laundry room. I haven't washed clothes in weeks because I can't get to the laundry room. Superman can, though, so I have clean clothes. That's why he's Superman!

 See, there's the back of the stove. And he has a box fan in the window blowing icky air toward the back yard. 

 This is what the floor looked like as Superman broke up the damaged particle board. The orange cat (sometimes called Saratoga, sometimes Caramel, sometimes Marmalade) loves to "help."

 And here the subfloor is revealed. Oh look! It's wet, too! And for some reason it's painted white. I don't know why. And only a portion of it is painted. Weird.

Superman let this dry out for a couple of days, but to no avail. It was still pretty damp.

See, only part of it is painted. And this is the subfloor, which gets covered by the underlayment for the vinyl. No one will ever see it unless the floor gets damaged somehow... Oh, right. 

 What a mess.

 Oh look! Superman went to (only big box home improvement store in town) for supplies!

The subfloor must come out. He had hoped to remove and replace it in one day so our house wouldn't be exposed to the crawl space overnight. No such luck. He did this Monday, if I recall, and it's early Thursday morning now and still looks like this.

 You can see sawdust on the insulation. The insulation is wet, too, no surprise.

 No more insulation! But wait, what's that on the ground? We've got a huge swath of plastic covering the dirt in the crawl space. I forget what that's called, but the plumbers said it's a good idea. It adds to the value of the home, too, a little bit. Maybe. It also captures water that drips from the house. Yep, there's a big puddle of water on the ground under where the sink used to be. Does that mean there is still an active leak? Superman disabled the sink the day after Thanksgiving. Nothing has gone down the drain for a month. Are the supply lines leaking?

 Ah, there are the supply lines. Superman called the plumbers back out here to check their work. They came Wednesday. Nope, it isn't the supply lines. When he talked to the plumbers Tuesday they said that water can sit for a long time, and to give it some air flow. He put the box fan across the joists pointing down, and the puddle was nearly gone Wednesday morning.

Can you see the damage to the wall studs and sill behind the supply lines? He's going to have to replace the sill and studs under the window where the sink was.

I need to take pictures of our makeshift kitchen in the living room. I have some shots of the living room in its Christmas glory, such as it was.

This evening Superman and I went out to one of our favorite date locations: the big box home improvement store! We bought two small heaters which are now set up on either side of the hole in the floor, blowing toward each other. The idea is that the dry heat will help dry the joists, which Superman really doesn't want to replace. He's going to sister the joists anyway, so there will be more substance to the joists when he's done. But he doesn't see the need to remove and replace the ones there. The heaters and the fan are working to dry out what's left.

We also bought a new sink. As shown in one of the above photos, the old sink is a big beige cast iron clunker with bits of enamel chipped off the edges. OK, the photo probably doesn't show that much detail, but trust me. So we got a new 20 gauge stainless steel 8" deep double bowl sink. It was on clearance for a decent price, and Superman wanted to buy it now before it wasn't available anymore. There's no place to put it, but whatever. We also looked at cabinets, and tentatively decided on the prefab unfinished suckers. They're cheaper and quicker than building our own, and we can choose a counter top and then finish the cabinets to match. 

Since we're putting the new kitchen on the (big box home improvement store) credit card, we've decided to add a new refrigerator to the deal. We've needed a new fridge for ages. The one we have isn't big enough for the size of our household, and is old and inefficient and falling apart. So we looked at refrigerators, too. I know which one I really want, and it's come down in price since it first came out half a dozen years ago. It is 22.5 cubic feet and now less than $1000. Barely less, but less is less. Used to be only the 18 cu. ft. fridges were that cheap, and most of the smaller ones don't come in the configuration and with the features that I want. Don't know if that's the one we'll end up with, but I hope so.

My land it's late! I'm tired. And this post is way too long now. It's mostly pictures, though, for what that's worth. I'll be back in a day or so with Christmas pictures (maybe) and more updated shots of the kitchen. Heck, I might add photos of the bathroom that Superman has been remodeling for 2, maybe 3 years. This kitchen best go faster than that!

Tales from Boxing Day

If I were in the UK I'd celebrate Boxing Day, but I don't quite know how to do it here. I need British guidance.

Christmas was wonderfully low key. The kids each got two gifts from us, one major purchase and one handmade thingie from me. The two teenagers got handheld games - PSP for Sproing and DSi for Diva. Twitch got a vacuum cleaner. That was fun. It's so practical and not at all elegant, and I enjoyed that much. We also got a vacuum cleaner for Light, but she wasn't with us for The Day. She'll be driving down from PA in a couple of weeks and we'll do Christmas with her then. I knit a scarf for Sproing, made a fleece blanket for Diva with a length of purchased fleece and a couple of packs of blanket binding. I made a balaclava for Twitch, sort of like this...

only not too much. Made it out of fleece, added extra insulation over the ears and face part. I am making a big woolen winter coat for Light, but haven't done much with it. The pattern pieces are cut out, but I haven't begun construction yet.

And for C I bought a mock turtleneck and a pullover sweater, both of which he really likes. He's been wearing the sweater, and he looks sexy in it, imho.

Since my kitchen is out of commission we went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner yesterday. That was great! We might continue to do that in years to come. I like cooking, and when Light is here we all have a good time in the kitchen. But man, it's so easy to go out for Chinese!

My big project for today, and consequently my big gripe for today, is buying bras. Penney's has a good sale on bras today (this week?). I bought eight bras for $111.28, which for those of you who don't purchase bras is a pretty good deal. I bought eight bras, came home and threw away all my old bras because... damn. I haven't bought any bras in a couple of years and all of mine were in various stages of nasty. So I'm starting fresh with all new ones. And I HATE shopping for bras! When these wear out I'm going to the plastic surgeon and getting my boobs cut off. OK, not really, but the idea is tempting. I want the FTM sex change boob surgery. Well, probably not really, but having these boobs is a pain in my neck (back, chest, arms, etc.). (I wear a D-cup size, and that's enough boob to weigh things down a lot.) When I got home from the store I asked Superman if he really really really likes my boobs. He assures me he does. He had better show some strong appreciation for them or I'm cutting them off.

There are lots of pictures of this kitchen floor fiasco. I will get a picture post together soon. I find it difficult to get pictures onto this blogspot thing. I have to put them in just the right order, and do the pics first because they don't insert where I want them. And it's hard to move them from one place to another in the post. Perhaps I don't know how to do it right, but that's my life. Anyway, I want to share pictures of our kitchen. And perhaps a photo or two of our understated Christmas decoration.

Until then, I'm going to have another beer. Because bra shopping drives me to drink.

Another take on reparative therapy

My brain. It isn't working correctly.

Do you ever have those days when you just can't think clearly? And not due to the effects of mind-altering substances, either. I woke up this morning and have been unbearably stupid ever since.

A horrible thing happened to me Saturday. Lander University graduated me. I am no longer in school; no longer can I claim the title "student." And look! It made me stupid!

Diva is on my last nerve. She's pulling all manner of passive aggressive shit around here. She's being disrespectful, sassy, etc. I'm about to pinch her little head off, as Superman says.

I'm depressed. Horribly, terribly depressed. There is no Christmas here, and I don't want one, but everyone else expects it. I don't want to do Christmas at all.

My house is torn up. Did I mention the kitchen drain leaks? We can't use the sink. If I had any gumption at all I'd post pictures. Maybe I will later.

We got a replacement washing machine, which I may have mentioned. It works. It doesn't frighten me. It's good. I even used it once.

That's all I can think of. My brain, it isn't working.

Let's try a brief update*

Lots going on, long time since I last told you about it. No time now, really.

• The replacement "a" key was a bust, so I ordered a new keyboard for the laptop. Installed it yesterday. Am loving words with a's in them again. Again. Aging. Aggressive. Aggregate.
• Just in time, because I'm ready to write my big paper for that course work I've been avoiding. I saw my advisor on Tuesday. I haven't done jack about this thing aside from gathering some information, so I went in to tell her that I give up, I'll just take the F. She didn't like that idea. Told my sculpture prof the same thing and he freaked. My GPA is high - not 4.0, but something around 3.7high or 3.8low. Yeah, a zero would fuck that shit up. So my advisor gave me a pep talk and some direction and said "you've got 10 days." It's down to 8... well, 7.5 now. Last night I organized shit and wrote a rough draft outline. This morning I started reading the research articles I've chosen. As I suspected, once I get started I really get into it and regret procrastinating. I drive me crazy.
• Diva is home from jail, on probation, doing relatively well. There are more details about stuff with her, but I won't go into it now. She turned 14 last Sunday. And she's been wetting the bed every night for a week. My house stinks like sour piss. I HATE that!
• Which leads to the next bit of excitement around here: the washing machine broke. Diva broke it, actually. For those who don't know but want to, check the labels for "washing machine" to get lots of gory detail about my struggles with this washer. Diva failed to cinch the strap around the machine to hold the door closed. She put the strap on, but didn't tighten it. And she put an uneven load in it - one heavy thing and a bunch of light stuff. So of course it was shaking like Elvis. The door latch broke, but Superman fixed that one easily. However, the computerized control panel above the door also came loose and rattled around for I don't know how long. It now doesn't control shit. Superman looked up info about replacement parts for that, and can't figure which of the three things are the right one. The cheapest of these things is almost $200. Together he and I declared it totaled. It's been busted for about two weeks. He hopes to take it today to the place in town that sells used appliances to trade it for something that works. I've given him carte blanche to pick out a new one. He does laundry more often than I do anyway.
• In related news, I have been to the laundromat a few times in the past two weeks. I don't actually mind the laundromat most of the time, but I dislike the time and money it uses. This morning I spent almost $14 on the whites, Diva's stinky sheets from last night (I did three loads of her bedding yesterday morning), and the clothes Superman and I have dirtied in the past less-than-a-week.
• To make matters more complicated, the drain in the kitchen is leaking. Behind the wall. Into the wood under the vinyl flooring. The kitchen smells of rot, and has for a while. It took us a while to discover the source. Superman crawled under the house Thanksgiving morning as I was cooking the feast. Wow. Happy Thanksgiving. He turned off the water to the sink the day after Turkey Day and we haven't had the use of it since. Plumbers and insurance adjustors have been lurking around. Alas, the cause of the damage is not something our insurance covers, so it's all up to us. Superman and a good, handy friend of his say they can do it. His friend is one of these motivated, fired up people who will help get us going. They say they can finish the job (or most of it) in a day. Oh, I hope so! In the meantime we are using a lot of disposable "dinnerware" (Greg! Plastic utensils!) and eating out. Expensive! At Christmas time!
• I could go into a rant about Christmas, but I just can't afford the time. Perhaps after next Friday.

TTFN

*Turned out to be not too brief. No surprise there.

A quote and other observations

Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. -Elbert Hubbard, author, editor, printer (1856-1915)

I exceed the limit nearly every day.

I had good day yesterday. I spent the midday with my little old dying lady (Hospice volunteering). She's a hoot. Her stories get a bit confusing sometimes, especially when the details change from her being the child in the story to being the mother of said child. She has some great stories. My favorite from yesterday involves domestic violence, and it's funny (I think, anyway). As a young bride-to-be, she took her future husband to visit her parents. He asked her father if there was anything he should know. Future father-in-law said "Yes. If you ever hit her, make sure to kill her with the first blow. Otherwise she'll kill you." Yes, my little old dying lady is a spunky gal.

She also told of a friend of hers. When they were both young married women the friend often appeared with a black eye and assorted other bruises and evidence of attack. When she asked, the friend admitted that her husband was beating her. My gal said "Why don't you hit him back? Knock him upside the head with a frying pan." Oh, no, she was too afraid of him. So my gal told her to wait until he passed out (he was one of those violent drunk wife beaters) then tie him up in a sheet. Then beat him. She said her friend took the advice and wasn't victimized by the fool again.

It's a lovely rainy day here in The South™. We've had high temps in the upper 70s this week, with some powerful sunshine. I'm glad the rain is bringing cooler weather. It's a perfect morning for a nap, which I intend to partake of after I hit "publish post."

I took Diva to the beauty "college" to get her hair did last night. C's ex, N, is a student there. He was sick yesterday so didn't go to school last night. Diva's 'do took a long time, during which I sat knitting and listening. Interesting stuff. One of the girls has become N's friend-girl, and we shared notes. I love hearing the rest of the story in the gay dramas.

I told you about the fuck buddy, right? About how he and N have been enjoying each other, but did I tell you that once or twice he's been here with C? Well, I found out last night that N knows that the fb has been with C, and N suspects (no confirmation) that the fb has been f'ing the Youngster who shares the apartment with N. If you need a reminder, Youngster and Other Guy are a couple. Youngster left Other Guy when C left N, but returned to him a week later.

So of course when I got home from the Hairy House of Gossip I had to bring C up to date with events. When he heard about the fb and Youngster possibly (no confirmation) twisting the sheets, he was highly amused because Other Guy, with whom he's been friends for years, would blow a gasket it he found out. I asked a few questions and come to find out that Other Guy is a stickler for the double standard. It's OK if he gets a little on the side, or if he participates in some group activities on his own, but he is totally not OK with his boyfriend getting any from anywhere else. Yeah, he's a real jerk.

C has spent a little more time with the fb recently, but not in bed. They've started working on a project together. The more he gets to know the fb, the less he likes/trusts him. I've been suspicious of the guy from the start. He reminds both C and me of C's first boyfriend, S. There's some ugly psychopathology in that basket. C has decided that the fb will no longer be a fuck buddy for him. A wise decision, imho.

I don't watch soap operas. I don't need to. I live in one.

So Diva got her hair done last night in a style that she requested. It's a black girl Mohawk; close braid (twists, actually) on the sides and curled in a wide strip from forehead to neck. And she hates it. The gals curled her hair very tightly, and she wanted looser curls. Thing is, those tight curls will relax in a day or two and be just right. If they'd curled them looser, the curl would un- in a couple of days. This way the curl stays viable for upwards of two weeks. Diva is only concerned about Right Now. She was a pouty bitch when we got home. I spent four hours and a passel of money to get her hair done up right, and she resents the whole thing. Shit. What a teenager! She seemed a bit less bitchy this morning. I really hope she has a good day today. Those middle school girls can be wickedly cruel, and have been to poor Diva in the past. I really do sympathize with her about the social peer pressure mess. I wish she didn't take it so personally, but of course she wouldn't be a "normal" teen if she didn't. As far from normal as she is in some ways, this part is in the textbook.

Mental Floss sells a product called the Baby Owner's Starter Kit and a Toddler Owner's Manual. Though I haven't read either, I'm sure they're quite amusing and possibly informative. What I don't see at Mental Floss is the Teenager Owner's Manual. I need one. Perhaps I could write one myself? That might be fun, actually. And possibly cathartic.

That nap is calling loudly. Hopefully I'll be back before too long.

Let me tell you about it

I have an "a" that works again! Believe it or not, the broken "a" key is one of the things I have allowed to keep me from posting. Sad but true. The "a" key isn't completely fixed good-as-new, but it works pretty well. I ordered a replacement, and it didn't work quite right, so I fiddled with it a bit and now it works most of the time.

In my last post I detailed the gay drama going on with C. Most of that has calmed down. He's much better now. Still a couple of areas concern me, but nothing that I think has a major bearing on his ability to function. He says he's not going to pursue a relationship right now. If something develops with anyone he interacts with normally, he won't kick it out of bed, as such. But he's not actively seeking a boyfriend.

The major news story in Javaland concerns Diva. For details of the present mess see here, here, and here. She appeared before the court yesterday (Monday). She has been placed on probation for six months and sent home. Being as how she's a juvenile, we her parents are also sort of on probation, kinda. We are mandated to take her to all of her classes, appointments, meetings, etc. She must participate in the activities, of course. We only have to make sure she gets there. She has to take an anger management course. I talked to her service coordinator today about that. I think it would be a good idea for me, Superman, and Sproing to also take the course. Sproing sure as heck needs the skills, and Superman and I can surely learn a thing or two about how to better handle anger. I'd like to know just what Diva is learning so I can be consistent with it, use the same terms, etc. at home.

I don't know all the details of her probation requirements. She has to go to therapy, which she does already anyway. I arranged for a different therapist, though. She never developed a good rapport with the lady she has worked with for a year or more. I hope the new gal works out better. Diva will also have an RPS worker, that social worker type who helps with life skills, social interaction, etc. I've mentioned before the RPS worker who worked with Sproing. He was fantastic. He still is fantastic, but he left South Carolina and went back out west. I miss him. He and I had that rapport thing down pat. Anyway, Diva will be working with a new RPS worker and Sproing is getting a new one, too. I get to meet both of them tomorrow afternoon. Wee-ha.

We'll also continue with the family therapist lady who comes to our home on Thursday evenings. She's great. We have learned to work well together, though she is yet another in an increasingly long list of therapist/social worker-type people I have to work with. Of course we now add a probation officer to the list. We have our first meeting with the probation officer next Monday.

And so it goes. And Diva is here. So far things have been mostly OK. She has copped an attitude with me a few times. She fights against the restrictions of childhood. She thinks she knows everything and I know nothing, that she can make her own decisions about every aspect of her life. Part of our job here and now is to teach her to respect authority. You know. Like to not hit a police officer with a broom stick.

I know she has problems, organic and inherited. But she also has problems that stem from inadequate parenting. Maybe. I think. We haven't been as strict or consistent with her as we should. We're too nice. Or something. Yes, I do accept some of the blame for her lack of respect for authority (and for me). Not all of it. But some.

Superman has a plan for us, for her, for now. She is here. We will do what we need to for her, to the best of our ability, and see how things develop. If she improves, if she does well, then great. If she plays the part of the good child for a while and then loses her shit, we'll call in the authorities again. In the short term, it's impossible to tell if she has genuinely improved. She's pretty good at pretending for a while. With age and experience, I hope she matures. I see maturity now that she didn't have two years ago. I want to say "of course" but with her we can't assume anything.

And Sproing got into a bit of trouble at school today for the second day in a row. That would be the day Diva came home and the day after Diva came home. Any relation, you think? He was disruptive in his final class of the day. Wouldn't stay in his seat and refused to do the assignment. I got the email with these details as I was leaving my school at 3:00. I realized that I had time to get to his school before they dismissed at 3:20, so I skedaddled over there. Horror of horrors, I showed up in his classroom! Yes, the dreaded mother came to school! How utterly embarrassing. We went into the hallway to talk privately. He didn't cooperate then, either. I took him home, the boy resisting all the way out of the building. He refused to walk with me. He followed approximately 10 feet behind me, looking all the while as if he was just walking down the hall with no thought to that strange woman over there. Whatever. Little bits at a time.

He calmed down a while after we got home. I sent him to his room, but he said he had to use the coping skill of going for a walk. I gave him 45 minutes to walk it off, then he had to be in his room. Instead of going for a walk he got the push lawnmower out and mowed the front lawn. It needed one last mow down before winter, and he did a good job. That kept him out a bit longer than the 45 minutes, but he was being useful and active. I stayed outside and supervised the whole thing. By the time his Daddy got home Sproing was pretty copacetic. He even did his science project that was due last week that we argued about this weekend.

Here's the thing: I offer to help. I give him good suggestions. But I don't know, because mother made the suggestion, he has to fight it. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. And middle adolescence. A deadly combination. He ended up retreating to his room and refused to do the project at all. And it was a simple project. Look up the rock cycle (whatever that is) on the internet (or in his science book, which I told him to bring home but he didn't) and draw a diagram of it on a piece of poster board. So he did that this evening before supper, willingly and cheerfully. But only today, not Sunday evening. Oy.

I'm tired and sore and emotionally drained. Time for this Java to lie down and go to sleep.

Gay drama update

Things have been decided.

For those of you just joining us, the details are thus: C broke up with N, their apartment-mates, Youngster and Other Guy, also broke up. C and Youngster had developed a close friendship, or so Youngster understood. C fell in love. C moved back home, and Youngster came along. But Youngster was not fully done with Other Guy. Would Youngster go back to Other Guy? Would he fall in love with C?

It all came together yesterday. Youngster had spent the previous two nights "away," which I knew instinctively was back in Other Guy's bed. I think C was deluded into believing he was staying with another friend. The fool. I texted Youngster, he responded asking me to come on over 'cause he needed to talk. So of course I did. They (including N, who still lives there) explained the situation that I'd already figured out. I brought Youngster back here so he could tell C. C took it pretty well. He did most of his mourning over the past two days. There is some furniture-moving that needs to occur today, but it's mostly settled. And C seems in a much better frame of mind than he did yesterday.

I cleared up the question of C and Youngster's friendship. Other Guy says he doesn't care if they are still friends, that they can spend time together. I feared he would get jealous and defensive about it, but he says he's cool. I hope he means it.

I also found out how N is faring. He's doing pretty well. He seems to realize that he's better off without C. I think he feels a new freedom. He's also kinda seeing a guy, informally. He says it's not a love connection or anything, no "relationship." It sounds to me like a fuck buddy friendship. We shall see. This is new territory for N. I see him asserting himself more, exploring parts of his personality/identity that he repressed because of C. He said this new friend likes to take pictures of him dressed in drag. N loves to do drag, but C strongly discouraged him. The new friend thinks it's sexy. All in all everyone except C seems to be doing very well. Hopefully C will get his head out of his belly button and move on to figure out life.

And that's all I know.

Long-overdue update and some new gay drama

Still no "a" key on my keyboard. It's annoying, but whatcha' gonna do?

The illustr'us governor of the state of South Carolina has decided that to make this great state more appealing, all state government offices must answer their phones with the greeting "It's a great day in South Carolina." The non-voluntary nature of the dictum negates the sentiment, imho. But here's the thing: I call the evaluation center where Diva is incarcerated and hear "It's a great day in South Carolina. (Your daughter is in jail.)" It doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling about South Carolina.

We still don't know much. Diva will remain in the evaluation/detention center until her court date. This is a good development. Some kids go back home after being evaluated to wait for their court appearance. We have told everyone who might influence the decision that we feel she is a threat to the family and should be placed elsewhere for the time being. We won't know anything until she goes to court, and we don't have a specific date for that. I pretend that the uncertainty doesn't bother me.

She said she wants to come home. I asked her when visiting last Sunday if she wants to come home or just wants to leave there and go somewhere else. After a brief pause she decided she'd like to go to a foster home. I don't know if that's an option, but I got the info I was looking for. She doesn't really want to come home, per se.

In other news, C has moved back home again. Last Sunday he broke up with N. It was inevitable. They aren't right for each other. The other couple with whom they were sharing the apartment also broke up Sunday morning. The younger guy moved here with C. And here's where it gets more complicated in a gay drama drama drama way. C is crazy in love with this youngster (he's 17, C is 23), but the youngster hasn't committed to leaving the other guy. They are taking a break, and he may get back with Mr. Other Guy (who is also 23). Youngster considers C a good friend, like a brother. C is going crazy wanting Youngster to stay with him and "learn to love" him. It's crazy. Oh, and C started smoking again with all the recent stress. Pisses me off, but I can't demand he quit.

C isn't taking the stress well. Obviously. There are other unhealthy behaviors he's fallen into that I won't enumerate. He isn't comfortable being alone. For what it's worth, I think he needs to be unattached for a while to learn who he is apart from a lover. I haven't told him that yet. He isn't ready to hear it. Right now we're waiting for Youngster to make up his mind about Other Guy.

And of course C moved back into what had become Diva's bedroom. It was his before she got it; he moved out, she moved in. She's out (for now) and he's back in. Are you dizzy yet?

I am glad C is back home, though. I feel very comfortable with him here. And of course I feel very uncomfortable with Diva here.

I'll share some thoughts I have about our home. The home that Superman and I have made is a comfortable, safe place (if you disregard the mess). There are actually many young people who feel more welcome here than with their own families. Sproing recently befriended a boy in the neighborhood who really likes hanging out here, and sometimes refers to me as Mama. I give him great big Mama hugs. His mother currently lives in one of those very cold northern states while she works a temporary job. And C has a friend over this afternoon who continually tells me he loves me and Superman and likes being here.

Earlier this week I gave Sproing's friend a big Mama hug and Sproing said "you never give me hugs like that!" Yeah, well that's because you push me away and complain whenever I try to. He's an odd bird.

My point here (maybe) is that my children (at least those who are still minors) do not appreciate us as parents. Lots of other kids (young and old) do. Can I trade?

And now a silly question for those of you of a certain age who are familiar with 70s TV sitcoms: Have you ever tried Milk and Pepsi?

Diva update

First of all, I must note that the "a" key broke off my computer keyboard. This presents a challenge that I may not completely overcome.

Diva had her arraignment hearing this afternoon, NOT in the Greenwood County courthouse. We had to drive an hour to get to Newberry. That's where juvenile court was held in this section of the state today. They ended up dropping both of the assault charges (didn't ask me; I wanted to pursue the assault charge I filed) and charged her with being incorrigible. Isn't that fun? All legal reps recommended that she be placed in the DJJ evaluation center where she will get what promises to be a thorough psychiatric and psychological* and physical evaluation. In 30-45 days she will appear before the court for a decision about what to do next. We have three agencies involved now: Continuum of Care, state mental health dept, and DJJ. I hope they all work well together. Any or all of them have the capacity to recommend alternative placement for her, a placement that does NOT include my house. Know what I mean?

Right now I'm not even worried about it. We have anywhere from 14 to 45 days (I'm not really sure how long she will be there) before the next step. I don't have the energy to worry.

The officer who transported her from Columbia to the courthouse today told our Continuum o' Care rep that Diva claimed to have a good time in kiddie jail last night. She met some new peeps, yo. Am I disturbed by this revelation? I don't know how I feel about it. I didn't expect this, but am not surprised. No, mostly I'm sad.

She was pretty upset after court though. We got to hug her and say goodbye, and she cried. Her eyes were pretty red when she came into the courtroom, too. We saw her again before the officer left to take her to the crazy kid jail, and she seemed a bit more relaxed. The officers and court personnel were kinda joking with her and the other kid who was going there. They reiterated to these two youngsters how important it is to behave well at the crazy kid jail, because their behavior reflects strongly on their overall evaluation. If they get in trouble there, the judge is less likely to have a happy story for them at the end of their stay.

My chest and back have been sore today where Diva punched me last night. Superman saw the whole thing and says she threw a lot of punches; at least a dozen. I remember it as about four, but my attention was divided and I wasn't trying to keep track. I don't see any bruising, but Superman says my chest has a slight bruise.

I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night, and it's almost midnight again. I'm going to bed now, and will post again over the weekend probably. Twitch's school quarter is finished as of tonight, so I'll drive up to Charlotte to bring him home tomorrow. That's about 5 hours on the road. Good thing I like to drive.

*I don't know the difference between the psychiatric and psychological. The DJJ agent or the public defender asked me if she had both -iatric and -ological diagnoses. I dunno. Guess they'll find out, huh?

I TOLD them it wasn't a good idea make us bring her home

Diva is in jail. Well, in the Department of Juvenile Justice detainment facility, which differs somewhat from jail, but probably not for the purpose of this blog post.

She punched me this evening, at which point I told Superman to call the police. Two officers responded. When the first gal arrived Diva was standing on a chair in her room holding a broom stick (without the brush part attached). Kinda weird, I guess, and the officer asked her why she was standing on the chair. "Because I can." Whatever.

Then a second officer, a young man, showed up. I'm really glad they were both here. She screamed and cussed at them. The guy spoke firmly at her and demanded that she show respect for us, her parents. She essentially laughed in his face, except she wasn't laughing.

Superman refrained from punching her. He was in her personal space with his fist drawn back, but I told him "Don't do it!" He listened. I'm so proud of him. It was difficult for him to resist punching her. She screamed really loudly right in my ear. That hurt. She shoved me a few times, shoved her dad, too. Then when I still wouldn't get out of her room she started swinging punches at me, hitting me in the back and chest. It's almost 1 a.m. now, and this happened around 9 in the evening, and my chest hurts a little bit. It may bruise a bit, but probably not much if at all.

I realize that this report is disjoint. I'm writing what I remember as I think of it, so most if it isn't in the order it occurred.

Both of the officers tried to talk to her and get her to calm down, to no avail. They were in her room with her, Superman and I were in the living room, next to her room. Her room is the first one off the hall, just past the living room, so we were very close. But we'd stepped out of her room when the female officer suggested Diva might calm down and talk to her if we weren't right there. She didn't.

Both of the officers stepped out of her room to talk to us, and Diva stormed out of her room and out the front door. The male officer asked us if she was allowed to go outside, and I said no, she needs to be inside now. She was still carrying the broom stick. He went out to tell her to come inside. She refused (with profanities) so he took her by the arm to lead her back in. She exploded, and hit him with the broomstick. And maybe with her fists, I'm not sure. They were on the other side of the truck in the driveway and it was dark, so I couldn't see what happened. She did beat on him, though, and he filed an assault charge on her for assaulting an officer. I filed one, too, and they also charged her with resisting arrest. It took both of the officers to wrestle her to the ground to put handcuffs on her. Then they led her to the patrol car. The female officer stayed with her at the car trying to talk to her, and ended up putting her in a choke hold or something (I was a bit unclear on the details) to get her to calm down and shut up.

The male officer, after being assaulted by this mouthy 13 year old, called his captain to ask about putting her in custody tonight. There isn't anyplace near here to lock up juveniles. As far as I know, the only juvenile detention facility is in Columbia, the state capital. It's not quite two hours from here. There's a county jail here, of course, but they don't put juveniles there. Thankfully. As much as I think she needs to be locked up (or detained somehow) I really don't want her in jail with adults, even overnight.

They drove Diva away from home in handcuffs in the back of a police patrol car. I had to go downtown to the station to talk to a woman from the county DJJ (Department of Juvenile Justice) before they could take her to kiddie jail. I sat there in the captain's office with the captain, the female officer, and Diva. By then Diva was subdued and had that far-away "nobody's home" look in her eyes. She was there maybe 15 minutes before I got there, and the captain told me that she was totally unresponsive when they tried to get any information from her.

Poor Superman was a basket case. Sproing has been acting up a lot lately, being strongly oppositional (but not violent to people... he damages property, but hasn't hit anyone around here) and loud and sassy. It's been bad. Superman has been on the edge of a nervous breakdown for a few days now. He didn't look so good this evening. Before I went to the police station I gave him a dose of his benzodiazepine. Our therapist told our doctor to prescribe some for him but he never took any. He did get the script filled, though, and I'm glad he did. 'Cause he needed it tonight! FYI, (from Wikipedia)

Benzodiazepines enhance the effect of the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which results in sedative, hypnotic (sleep-inducing), anxiolytic (anti-anxiety), anticonvulsant, muscle relaxant and amnesic action.^[2] These properties make benzodiazepines useful in treating anxiety, insomnia, agitation, seizures, muscle spasms...

I was gone for about an hour or so, and when I got home Superman was still awake, but he was r-e-l-a-x-e-d. He'd been trying to read my previous post, but kept reading the same sentence over and over. He's funny when he's high. What with the amnesic action of the Lorazepam he probably won't remember much if anything of what we talked about tonight. He will undoubtedly remember The Diva Show, though. That's hard to forget.

The next step for her is to go before a judge. Juvenile Court is being held in an adjoining county tomorrow*, but I don't know yet if she will be on the docket. If she doesn't go to court tomorrow she'll go Monday. No Juvie Court on Friday. I'd rather they waited until Monday. I think it will do her good (?) to cool her heels in kiddie jail for a long weekend. Perhaps it'll teach her a lesson. She has no clue how good she's had it here. She thinks we're horrible restrictive parents. HA! Our main faults are being too lenient. The kid needs an education.

I don't know what's to become of her. Once a kid hits the DJJ system it's really easy to go there again. (This is my hypothesis, anyway.) The first time handcuffed in the back of a patrol car is hard. The second time is easier. Etc. I wish it didn't turn out this way. I wish she'd taken to the psychiatric intervention we tried. I don't know now if she'll stay in juvenile detention or will go to another psychiatric placement, or maybe to a children's home of some kind. I don't know. I really really really really hope they don't try to send her back home. I told the arresting officers, the police captain, and the woman from DJJ that I fear for my safety and the safety of the rest of the family with her in the house. You know, she threatened to kill us about 1.5 years ago. I won't forget that. She was wild crazy mad tonight. When Superman was in her face with his fist cocked she showed absolutely no fear, no sense of hesitation at all. She'd have tried to knock his block off if he'd stayed that close for long. She ain't right.

*Technically today, but since I haven't been to bed yet, my brain still thinks it's Wednesday.

Gay Marriage

I read this great article on a blog from a heterosexual father of three supporting gay marriage. I recommend you visit his blog. In the meantime, I'm posting this diagram from the article.

General update and a quote

This was the quote in today's A.Word.A.Day offering. Is this significant to my life today?

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. -Peter Drucker, management consultant, professor, and writer (1909-2005)

I discovered a website of gay stories. I was up until, um... (shhh - 5:00 this morning)(don't tell Superman) ... pretty late reading one of the stories. It was good, sure. But why do I do this to myself? Why do I sabotage my health and sanity with behaviors like this?

Superman and I were just talking about the stress in our lives. Their names are Sproing, Diva, and Money. Oh, and the repairs and remodel "we" (mostly he) is/are doing on the house and yard. We want to move, but the house and yard need a lot of work to get it into sellable condition.

I'm really too tired to think about it much. I'd get too upset if I tried, so I'm going to ignore it for now. And go to bed early tonight (I hope!).

Superman says he feels like he's on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I had me another mini-breakdown Sunday after Sproing acted like... well, Sproing. I'm worried about Superman, though.

My brain isn't working well. Too tired. I will go to my Art History class in an hour, then meet with my academic advisor about finishing up my research project. We might be going in a different direction now, actually. I want to tell you about it, but I'm too tired. Briefly (really this time!) I'm looking into the possibility of starting a gay-lesbian-bi-transgender support group and/or community center for my course project. This may just be an empty exercise for the experience and a grade, or perhaps I will find enough support for the thing to really get off the ground. At any rate I'd like to start a PFLAG chapter. Of course there isn't one in Greenwood. According to the PFLAG website, there are five chapters in South Carolina: Greenville, Spartanburg, Columbia, Myrtle Beach, and Charleston. The closest to us is Greenville, about an hour north of Greenwood. I've been to that one a few times, but the travel distance precludes much involvement. We need one in Greenwood, imho.

And I'm rambling again. It's what I do when I'm tired. Also what I do when I'm not tired, but more so when I'm tired. Like now. This is a perfect example of rambling.

Oh, shut up Java. Post this thing and go to school already.

It's Wednesday

Interesting quote of the day:

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. -Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)

The weather has finally gotten nice. The sky was partly cloudy today and temps were only in the 70s (24 C, + or - about 3 degrees). If we have a few more of these days in a row perhaps our "cold" water will get cold. For months now the water running from the cold water tap has been tepid. It's a bit too cool for a bath, definitely too warm to cool anything off (like my hot hands).

So the day is beautiful but I'm depressed. I dunno why. I don't care about much, and have been tired all day. I only took one nap, though, so that's good. I wanted to take another one this afternoon, but the kids got home from school and started fighting with each other so that kinda nixed my nap idea. They got into a shouting/shoving match, then Diva and I argued with each other for a while. Sounds like fun, no? I sent them both to their rooms, and Sproing came out 15 minutes later with a decent attitude. She had a pissy attitude the rest of the afternoon. She's gone to church (it's a social thing, I seriously doubt there's any spirituality involved) but will no doubt still be pissy when she gets home. Hell, I'm still pissy, so that won't help matters, will it? Perhaps Superman can run interference so she and I won't have to interact.

Superman bought a truck, as I may have mentioned. We went to Charlotte last evening to get it. It's a champagne color, extended cab F-250. I haven't driven it yet. Frankly I'm not in the mood to. Superman said last night that now we need to sell Manny, "of course" he says. He wants to transfer the license plate from Manny to his new truck, meaning of course that Manny is dead to him. He'll also drop Manny's coverage when he insures his new truck.

I don't know why I am so in love with that truck. It's a piece of junk, seriously, and not very safe to drive anymore. Lots of stuff doesn't work. I suppose it represents something to me. Too tired and depressed (or perhaps afraid) to figure out what.

My Mama had a heart catheterization today. She's been very tired and short of breath recently. The doctor found a very small blockage in a small branch of an artery, the same he saw when they did this a year or two ago. It hasn't changed, and the surgery to correct it is more risky than leaving it alone. She's also retaining fluid, and has been on diuretics for many moons. The fluid retention is better than it has been, but she'll continue with the diuretics. All in all things are fine. Doc says he would like her to get more exercise, but she's got some nasty arthritis in her back that is causing lots of pain. So, obviously, water aerobics! My dear brother, the Favorite Uncle with the motorcycle, is staying with her tonight to make sure she's OK. He spent the day with her, too. I'm glad he lives close enough to be able to do that. He's in the Daytona Beach area, less than an hour (if traffic isn't too bad on I-4) from Mama in NE Orlando area.

That's all I got, folks.

Life goes on

I feel detached from myself. Almost like I'm looking at my life from the outside, but not quite. I don't know who I am. All of a sudden I showed up in this strange life and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. It's a mild dissociation, and I'm sure it'll pass. I think the imminent change of season might have something to do with it. I often get disoriented in the early fall and early spring.

Although I'm waiting for fall to get here and she isn't in any hurry. It is still hot hot hot here. And dry. We need rain. Looks like we'll get some from the tropical system that was lately in the Gulf o' Mexico. (Can't remember what they named it.)

I went to the fabric store this afternoon. That's always fun. I want to make a warm winter coat for Light, so was looking through the pattern books. I found ONE pattern for a nice long lined coat. I was able to get the interfacing, lining, and shoulder pads for the coat, but not the outer fabric. The store had a hunk of thick wool fabric that I liked, but didn't have quite enough. The coat requires 6.25 yards and there were only 5-and-a-little-bit yards on the bolt at the store. But Superman, who like a super man went to the fabric store with me, mentioned that we will be in the Charlotte area in a couple of days and can go to Mary Jo's Cloth Store! Yippee!! I love that place. They have tons of fabric, practically anything anyone needs. Or wants.

Twitch is home for the holiday weekend. I drove up to Charlotte and brought him home Thursday evening. Loads of fun. School is closed for Labor Day, and he doesn't have any Tuesday classes. Cool, huh? We will take him back home Tuesday night. But yesterday he went with Superman and Sproing to the Charlotte area, because of course he's home for a long weekend break, so he had to go back to Charlotte for the day. Whatever.

But, there's a good reason they went to Charlotte. Superman is in the market for a new pickup truck. They found one! We will go back Tuesday after Superman has a chance to go to the credit union for the $$s. He's been approved for a car loan, but hadn't found a car yet, you know how that goes. Anyway, he found a pickup he likes. It's an F-250 with a 5.4L V8 with tow package. Extended cab, so it has a small back seat, not a full 4 door crew cab. He says it has a large bed, plenty for carrying all manner of cargo. I'm all excited.

I am sort of taking a class this semester. Classes started last Thursday. I am sitting in on an art history class, and so far I really like it. Absolutely love the professor. I've met him, but never took a class with him. He's an old guy who keeps talking about retiring, but hasn't yet. Many people have told me I should take at least one of his classes. The class I'm in covers the Renaissance and Baroque, or maybe Rococo. I haven't a clue about the time lines for those periods, though I will by the end of the course.

It seems like there's something else I should tell you, but I can't think what it is. If I think of it, perhaps I'll add it later. Or make a new post.

A busy week

I'm so busy that this is the first time all week I've had my computer on. There are over 100 unread messages in my inbox, and none of it is spam.

My dear friend Indigo is visiting us this week. He lives in Baltimore. He often comes to visit in August. I wouldn't do it if I were him because it's just too hot in August. But heat doesn't bother him nearly as much as it does me, and this is a good time for him to visit. So here he is. And I'm glad. And we've had a good time.

I am also rearranging my spaces here at home. Since Light has moved into her own place in Pennsylvania, I'm taking over her bedroom and making it my new office. My old office, which was also trying to be a sewing and crafts room, will now be sewing and crafts without trying to be an office. All of this is still in progress, so what it really looks like now is a big mess in both rooms and in the living room too, just for kicks. My messes tend to overflow their banks. I saw some progress today, finally. There's lots more progress yet to occur.

Tomorrow (Thursday) is my busy day of the week. I do my Hospice volunteering all afternoon, then one of the family therapist people comes to see us in the evening. Any errands or whatnot must get done in the morning. I'm usually pretty beat by the end of the day.

Right now I'm watching Braves Baseball. Top of the 9th, Braves down 2-3 against the Cubbies. And I'm going to try to get through some of my email backlog now.

Cute Kitty Pictures

I has them!

Allow me to introduce our new cute kitty, Saratoga. Sara for short.
As you can tell from the above picture, she has lots of white fur. So in addition to Scheherazade leaving her black cat hairs everywhere, we now have source of white hair so no matter what clothes we wear the cat hair will be evident.

In the above picture I was trying to photograph her but she was curious about the camera and came to check it out.
I gave her a little bit of milk. Don't tell the kids, as I discourage them from doing this. But they aren't here right now (Hallelujah!) and if I pick up the plate before they get home from school, no one will be the wiser.
Sara is a playful baby, and like Scheherazade likes to gnaw on electrical cords. And other things she shouldn't chew on. She's been busy this morning, but is now asleep on my shoulder. Awww!

I tried to sleep in a bit this morning, but had those disturbing dreams that I get when I'm not fully asleep nor fully awake. This morning I dreamed that we lived in a huge old house that needed lots of work and had way too much junk in it. Superman was trying to be helpful by putting away the half dozen or so old ironing boards by disassembling them. Not helpful! The kids were disobeying, I couldn't find anything, and was specifically looking for my deodorant. Then the in-laws showed up to help, and they hate being at my house. In the dream I was lying on a mattress in the family room, naked, covered by a sheet when they walked in. In reality I was lying on my bed, naked, covered by a sheet. Thankfully no one but the kitten was there. I was glad to wake up!

Here's a useful chart for those with cats. It tells me that I must stop Sara from playing with my pothos leaves. My pothos tells me I should water it, and get the damned kitten away from it already.

I discovered a way cool YouTube channel this morning. Check this out:

I love this piece of music (Beethoven's 7th symphony, 2nd movement). The animated score is fascinating to watch. At least I think so. Give it a chance. At least watch it from the 2 minute mark to the 3 minute mark. Each instrument has a different color in the animation. I find it fascinating. Double click on the graphic above to go to the YouTube channel to find lots more animated classical pieces. I'm enthralled.

I'm going to watch/listen to more pretty music and perhaps read the newspaper or something else, maybe something useful. Today the world is my oyster. Boo-ya

Celebration and miscellany

Let's begin with hair. Diva needed to get her hair "did", so I took her to the beauty college where they do hair for cheap. This is the before shot.

And here she is after.

She holds herself with more confidence and has a better attitude when she knows she looks good. I like that, especially the good attitude part. I like the beauty college, too, especially their prices. I plan to wander over there this week and have my hair cut, too.

And speaking of my hair,

mine is slowly turning gray. It's part of the aging process and it doesn't bother me. I'm actually surprised that I don't have more gray hair. But let me tell you, I found it pretty weird when last week I pulled a gray hair out of my nose. Normal, I suppose, but I didn't expect it.

I have this song floating around in my head this afternoon, so I am sharing it with you.

The kids are in school right now (Hallelujah!). I am having a wonderful day. I got a lot accomplished this morning after I dropped Diva at school. Sproing took the bus, which is opposite from how I expected they would get to school today. At any rate, I did a lot of mundane errands and took the cat (Smudge, formerly known as Scheherazade) to the vet for her shots. The other errands were mundane, the cat was not. We both managed to survive, but I now have cat scratches on my back from where she climbed over my shoulder to get away from the vet when he gave her an anal probe (checking for worms).

We need Smudge's updated records in order to bring home our new cat from the animal shelter. Yes, Diva talked her Daddy into getting another cat, and the shelter doesn't allow the animals to come home unless other pets are up to date with their shots. Good plan. I let Smudge's vaccinations expire (forgetful, not malicious) so this gets us back on track. But the point of this paragraph is the new kitten. I am not excited about this addition to the household. Hopefully the new kitty will keep Diva occupied and out of my hair for a good long while. Expect cute kitty pictures soon.

Speaking as we were of anal probes, Superman and I saw "Cowboys and Aliens" this weekend. I liked it, am glad I saw it, but probably won't watch it again. There are movies that I want in my library, and others that I'm happy to see only once. I want to get "How To Train Your Dragon" for my personal library. And call me crazy, but I want to see the smurf movie, too. I know it's bad, that's obvious from the trailer. But it's silly, and has blue smurfs in it. Plus NPH. I'll let you know how that goes.

And speaking of libraries, I read a good book. I like gay romances (M/M, but not so much F/F) and stories about gay characters. There are a lot of tawdry gay romance books out there that are not of stellar literary quality. Light, fun reading, but not much to make you think. I usually like to think. I read The Brothers Bishop by Bart Yates, and it was fantastic. It's a rich book, made me think. Nice literary allusions and stuff. It was almost as good as At Swim, Two Boys by that Irish guy, um... (hang on, gotta look it up) Jamie O'Neill.

I have also recently read two of Michael Thomas Ford's novels, Looking For It and Last Summer. They're good, enjoyable, better than run-of-the-mill, but not excellent. I want to read the rest of that series.

The kidlets will be home in about an hour. I want to piddle around here a bit more before they return. I'm sure I'll be back soon with kitty pictures.

Internet trouble, I had it

For a couple of days last week our access to internet was denied. I think it was a technical problem. While I was unable to surf the webs I wrote a blog post. I have since then forgotten about it until now. So here it is.

But first, let me say that tomorrow, Monday August 15th, 2011 is the first day of the 2011-2012 school year. And there is much rejoicing, at least from me. Don't know if the kidlets are as excited. Don't care, either.

Everything you are about to read is out of date. I am writing this on Saturday night (August 6th). It’s almost midnight. I’ve had two beers in quick succession and I’m rather tipsy. My arms aren’t responding the way they normally do.

Here’s the lowdown: the plumbing is fixed, praise be. Superman once again earned his title by clearing the kitchen drain. It took a lot of smelly work, but he did it. He’s wonderful. And he is out of town. Monday is his brother’s 40^th birthday, so he and Sproing went to the old homestead to visit The Folks and celebrate baby brother’s birthday. I’m here with Diva, praise be (I jest). I miss my husband.

School starts a week from Monday, Praise Be! August 15^th sees the young ones back in school from 8:00 a.m. to 3:20 p.m. They are usually dropped off at school around 7:30 and don’t return home on the bus until 3:55, so I have that much freedom. It is truly a wonderful thing.

The reason you are reading this after the fact is that I’m posting it after the fact because the fact is that our internet is inaccessible. I suspect the router. The kids tell me that we had a power outage Friday afternoon as I lay sleeping. It couldn’t have been a very long power outage because I lay sleeping with my CPAP, which is powered by electricity. My lungs would have noticed if the power had gone off for more than a few seconds. Back to the point: perhaps the power outage did something wonky with the router. Or the modem, the gods forbid. I haven’t fiddled with it yet, since the need isn’t powerful. Maybe Sunday I’ll see what I can make of the mess.

And speaking of school starting, the youngsters are in “need” of new clothes. Honestly they don’t really need new clothes, but it’s the start of a new school year and tradition dictates new clothes. Sproing had few pants that worked for school, and no shorts that fit. Friday morning he and I went out and bought him a few new shorts and a couple pair of pants. He also acquired four new t-shirts, socks, and boxer-briefs. He’s ready to roll. This afternoon in the heat I took Diva out. She honestly didn’t need a thing, but because I am a Wonderful Mother I bought two new tops and a new pair of pants for her, plus socks, underwear, and a few bras.

Did I mention that it was hot today? I don’t know what the official high temperature was this afternoon, but in my estimation it was over 100 degrees (F). The humidity was ridiculously high so it felt miserable. Perhaps the actual ambient temperature was only in the high 90s, but the heat index was beyond miserable. And Superman took our air conditioned Aveo on his trip, leaving me with the un-air conditioned truck. Did I mention “miserable?” I finally was able to take a shower at 11:00 tonight. I feel a lot better. Sweat was my hair mouse.

Those Mexicans don’t put twist tops on their beer bottles. I have bottle openers handy in many rooms of the house. I’ve become a beer aficionado, at least with the beers I like. I just opened a Dos Equis. XX. Double yum. This is my final beer of the night. Really. When I have enough alcohol to affect my sense of balance, my feet get hot. Just thought you ought to know.

I heard the most amusing phrase on the radio Friday. It was an NPR news cast, the 10:00 top-of-the-hour news brief. “…and an undisclosed number of independent polygamists…” Isn’t that a hoot? What the hell does it mean? It sounds like a title of a David Sedaris book. Speaking of David Sedaris, last week I read When You Are Engulfed in Flames. I recommend it.

I’ve had enough beer that I feel all loving toward everything and everyone. Oooh, I love you soooo much. I’m not drunk enough to ignore the fact that I am ridiculous in this state, though. You’re glad you’re just reading this and not with me to observe the ridiculosity of it all. Spell check doesn’t like “ridiculousity.” Silly spell check.

C is coming over tomorrow afternoon. We will go to the fabric store together. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? I miss him. He and N are doing really well in their new apartment. They share the apartment with another gay couple and a single girl. It’s an interesting three bedroom, 1.5 bath apartment. Two of the bedrooms are fairly large, but the third looks like an afterthought. (Spell check is wonderful when one is tipsy. My fingers aren’t so reliable after three beers.) That third bedroom is perhaps 10x10, maybe less. The young single girl occupies that room. I want it, though. I would love to have my own little private room in C and N’s apartment. It is half a block from the college, and less than two miles from home. That room could be my private hideaway, a safe place for escape when I need to get away from home. And I could park there and walk to campus, negating the need for a parking pass.

The problem with three beers is the resulting headache. I don’t have hangovers the morning after. I have my hangover headache pretty much immediately. Champaign tends to give me a headache before I finish the first glass. I love the stuff, but don’t like my body’s reaction to it.

It seems to be time to go to sleep. Damn, it’s after 1:00 a.m. already. I love to write rambling blog posts like this. But I am especially tired. So I’m going to brush my teeth and go to sleep. Goodnight.