My Father's Day message to Daddy

This is what I ended up sending my father. As you can see, I didn't get it off to him until late Sunday night.

A bit of background info: Daddy was a teacher and counselor at a community college in Florida for many years before he retired. I am his only daughter. I have two brothers, and when I was 9 years old he married a woman with three sons. My step brothers were 11 (the twins) and 8 when he assumed the role of father for them. Their biological father was a douchebag who never participated in their lives if he could avoid it.

Now, on with the show!

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right,

he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."

-- Charles Wadsworth

Sunday June 21, 2009

10:30 p.m. EDT

It is still technically Father's Day. You are probably on your way to bed by now, if not sawing logs already. And I didn't call you today, or send you a card, or any of those things that "good daughters" are supposed to do for their fathers. Eh. I suppose we will both have to live with that. The alternative is hardly attractive.

Superman is doing his "good son" duty this weekend. He is in [his hometown] until mid-day tomorrow, spending this Father's Day weekend with his dad. [Father-in-law] is not doing well. He is beginning to show the frail countenance of the declining elderly. He and [Mother-in-law] came for Twitch's high school graduation a couple of weeks ago. He looked a little peaked, but in the brief time I spent with him, he seemed well. They drove the five hour trip down here on Friday, and returned home on Saturday. [FIL] could barely get out of bed for days afterward. One never knows about these things. Human beings, body and spirit, are amazing. [FIL] could live for five more years, or he could be dead by his birthday in late November. However, that could be said of us all.

On parenting:

Being a parent changes a person. It's not something one can totally prepare for. I could read books about children, adhere to a philosophy of child rearing, and paint the spare room in pastel hues. I would buy a minivan, crib, car seat, and high chair. I could even study child development and become something of an expert in the knowledge of children's behavior. I might get college presidents to bestow upon me the high honor of an advanced degree on the subject, but that won't prepare me for parenthood. None of these preparations include living with children and being totally responsible for their care 24/7.

You did it. You fathered a passel of children. When I say "fathered" I don't restrict that to the biological function. There were six of us, all tolled. Undoubtedly you have had a paternal influence on many more. The pedagogue that you are, you have a gift for the craft. And craft it is. Tricky stuff, this parenting. What works with one doesn't do a thing for another. There are too many human influences in the equation, being as how all the parties are human. Yet somehow, with the passing of time, we all survived. You may be a bit crazier for the experience, but overall I think you did a fine job. I am having a very difficult time with my own very difficult children now, and that increases my appreciation for all you have done and for who you are.

With love,

Your favorite daughter.

I am blessed

An old friend of mine sent one of those "pass it on" emails to me. I never pass these things on, especially if they implore me not to break the chain. Occasionally I will forward something I find particularly funny. But the message I got today was sappy with strong religious/political overtones and I deleted it. However, out of morbid curiosity I read the reward/warning message at the end of the propaganda.

Pass it on to everyone and pray. Something good will happen to you tonight at 11:11 PM. This is not a joke. Someone will either call you or will talk to you online and say that they love you.

Right. The thing is, I have people in my life who tell me they love me all the time. The people I live with, even the frustrating ones, tell me regularly that they love me. In the past 24 hours I have received personal emails, comments, and chat messages from a lot of different people, almost every one expressing love to me. Ironically, this old friend who forwarded this bit of tripe didn't add a personal comment at all, much less an expression of love or friendship. If I were really jaded I'd mention that she is a Christian, but I may be above that. Or not.

I am truly blessed. Blessed with a loving family and so many far-flung friends who have touched my life and my heart with love. To those of you; you know who you are - thank you.

On the other hand, Mama sometimes sends some good stuff

This was in my inbox today.

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies , tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr ha fkin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece

Sappy Crap from Mama

Have I mentioned this before? My darling Mama likes to forward email to me. Sometimes she sends genuinely funny stuff. Most of the time it's sappy crap. Today's offering: sappy crap. (Bet you guessed that from the title of the post, huh?) Check this out-

Think about this for a minute...
If I happened to show up on your door step crying, Would you Care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something Happened, Would you come?
If I had one day left, to live my life; Would you be part of That last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, Would you give me Yours?

This is a test to see who your real friends are or If you are just some one to talk to you when they are bored .
... Life is lonely without FRIENDS.
It's 'world best friends week'. Who is your best friend? Send this to all Your good friends. Even me, if I am one of them. See how many you get back. If u get more than 3 then you really are a lovable person...

O M effing G! I left it almost exactly as I received it. It's hard for me to resist editing. But half the effect is the bad punctuation and poor word choices. I had to minimize that last bit because it's so lame, but I wanted to include it for reference to the pathetic.

But here's my point, and this is how I replied to Mama.

Think about this for a minute...
What do you know about me? What would I do in these situations?
If I happened to show up on your door step crying, Would you Care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something Happened, Would you come?
If I had one day left, to live my life; Would you be part of That last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, Would you give me Yours?
I do this for strangers! What would I do for friends? For family?! Yes, Mama, I will take care of you to the best of my ability.

I sorta kinda hoped she would get the message that I really don't need her to send me this kind of thing. I don't think she did. She replied within 5 minutes with "I knew I could depend on you! I love you too. "

Eh. Whatever makes her happy, I guess. I've certainly given her enough grief over the course of my life. I can humor her in this small way. And I really do love my Mama.

Mildly amusing

My mother, Mama, remember her? She's a wonderful lady, especially so in that she is taking me on a cruise. Mama likes to forward email to me, stuff she thinks is cute or funny. Most of the stuff I get from her is pretty good. Rarely does she send that overly sappy crap. Every once in a while she'll send something truly hilarious. This isn't truly hilarious, but I thought it was kinda sweet.

ANGELS EXPLAINED BY CHILDREN
I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.~~~Gregory, 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.~~~Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.~~~Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.~~~Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.~~~Henry, 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!~~~Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.~~~Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.~~~Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.~~~Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.~~~Jared, 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it.~~~Antonio, 9
(Well, some boys, anyway! :-) )

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.~~~Lynn, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.~~~Vicki, 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.~~~ Sarah, 7

And, on another note:
Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

Random things that got my attention

I just received an email that has an interesting signature / tag line.

Disclaimer: no trees were harmed in the sending of this message.However, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced and the ether somewhat disturbed. I am an Alchemist. I know about these things!

There seems to be a mouse in my house. In my bedroom to be precise. When all the children have gone away and it is quiet, I can hear some little rodent gnawing noises in the general vicinity of my closet. Have I mentioned before that I'm a terrible housekeeper? The closet is a nasty mess and the mess extends out from the closet door a good 3-4 feet. (Approximately a meter, for my more enlightened readers.) The point being that there is plenty of potential habitat for rodents. I mentioned the possible presence of rodents in the bedroom to Superman last night. He says he'll set some traps. It is a good idea, I suppose, but I kinda like the idea of a pet mouse in my closet. I don't, however, like mouse poop all over the place, chewed up shoes and god knows what all else in there, and the possibility of stink and disease. Yea, traps are a good idea.