Standing in my own way

Tough Love Edition

Why do I make the personal choices that I do? I make decisions, then I make choices. Oh so often the choices take me in the opposite direction of the decisions I've made.

On my latest excursion I thought about what I want to do with my life on two different levels. The first: What do I want to do when I grow up? This has been a recurring theme in my life for many, many years. I haven't figured it out yet. More on this at another time.

The second, to which I refer in the first paragraph: Household management. My home is a disorganized mess in terms of both the physical space and the personal relationships and responsibilities.

When I am at home, in the middle of the mess, I don't cope well. It's like learning to swim in a whirlpool. I'm so busy trying not to drown that I can't work on my strokes. While I was away from home I made some decisions about how to better manage the household in the physical and interpersonal realms. This is one of the things Patrick and I talked about. He was very helpful.

But then I came home. These things are always easier to plan than to implement. I am back in the vortex and my ideas, my good intentions are washing away. Much of it is my own damn fault.

If I stay awake blogging until 4:00 in the morning, knowing I must get up by 7:00 to take Twitch somewhere, that is not helping my cause. That's an example of a poor personal choice that is in direct opposition to my goal of being a more effective household manager.

Do I really want to change the way things work around here? Or do I just want to complain about how messy and out-of-control it is? Put up or shut up, Java.

Random things that got my attention

I just received an email that has an interesting signature / tag line.

Disclaimer: no trees were harmed in the sending of this message.However, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced and the ether somewhat disturbed. I am an Alchemist. I know about these things!

There seems to be a mouse in my house. In my bedroom to be precise. When all the children have gone away and it is quiet, I can hear some little rodent gnawing noises in the general vicinity of my closet. Have I mentioned before that I'm a terrible housekeeper? The closet is a nasty mess and the mess extends out from the closet door a good 3-4 feet. (Approximately a meter, for my more enlightened readers.) The point being that there is plenty of potential habitat for rodents. I mentioned the possible presence of rodents in the bedroom to Superman last night. He says he'll set some traps. It is a good idea, I suppose, but I kinda like the idea of a pet mouse in my closet. I don't, however, like mouse poop all over the place, chewed up shoes and god knows what all else in there, and the possibility of stink and disease. Yea, traps are a good idea.