It never gets any better

Here are the visual aids for the previous post. This first picture is for comparison and a piece of background information. See the bit of the wheel well on the right? There, in front of the door. It should have a piece of molding over it, continuing the line of the curve and filling in the triangular gap. I knocked that piece of fiberglass molding off a couple of years ago when I was backing up too close to a post. I was watching behind me and forgot to check the front. This is on the driver's side of the car. My bad.

This is the front wheel well on the passenger side of the car. See that bit of wheel well on the left? There, in front of the door. It should have a piece of molding over it, continuing the line of the curve and filling in the triangular gap.
That's what S did yesterday when he backed his car out of the driveway and got too close to the van. He also knocked off that metal rim that covers the inner edge of the tire. Either he or Superman knocked it back on there. It looks alright now. So there is no difference between what S did yesterday and what I did 2 years ago. Should I really be making a fuss?

It isn't about the van. It's about the stress. Or something. Or is it all about me? Should I just shrug my shoulders and get on with my life?

Here is the crack in Manny's windshield. It's a bit tricky to see. This is from the inside of the cab.

And here's the origin of the crack. Does that look to you like it was hit with a rock or something? This is the outside of the windshield. This one needs to be repaired.
The windshield has had some scuffs in it since before I got the truck. The whole surface of the windshield is pitted. I have needed a new one from the beginning. Now the insurance will pay for the repair. I was pissed off to see this crack, but at the same time was glad that I finally get a new windshield for the ol' boy.

Today was a hard day for me. I am so worn out by all the shit in my life. I've been tired, tired, tired all day. Not so much sleepy (well, I was this afternoon, and had a lovely nap) but just worn down to nuthin'.

Sproing was being his usual annoying self this morning. His self-defined purpose in life is to get on other people's nerves. He is very good at it. It brings him a perverse joy. I am so tired of dealing with it, of trying to convince him to have a friendly, helpful attitude, to get along nicely with his siblings (and his parents!).

I think it shouldn't be this hard. Maybe I'm disillusioned, and parenting really is this dreadful. It just seems wrong to me that I dread spending time with my child. Is it me, or is it him? Or both?

I had a tearful talk with the boy this morning. He was dry-eyed, I was tearful. I told him how discouraged I was. I try to teach him the right way to behave, to have good manners and treat others with respect. Really, though, he knows how to do it. I told him he did. I said, though, what I cannot do is make him behave well. That's something he has to decide for himself.

He and Diva both lie and steal. Someone stole some cash out of my wallet recently. "Nobody" did it, of course. I told Sproing today that it is incredibly important for him to make good decisions about how he conducts himself NOW, while he is 10 years old. Because what he does now sets the precedents for what he'll do when he is older. I asked him if, when he is grown up, he wants to be known as a thief and a liar. He said he didn't. I told him he MUST begin NOW to make those changes in his behavior so that he is not a thief and a liar.

Maybe the discussion will do some good. He told me late this afternoon that he hadn't stolen anything today. Oy. Well, good for you, dear. Keep up the good work.

I need to have a similar discussion with Diva at some point soon. She lies and steals a lot, too. She tends to be nicer to people than Sproing is, usually, although she can be a real foul-mouthed bitch when she gets on her high horse.

Damn this is hard work. Damn I'm tired.