Hodge Podge

• We appear to have survived Mother's Day. I didn't call my mother, actually, although I did talk to her the day before (if it wasn't the day before that). Perhaps I should call her.
  The kids around here did well. Twitch got me a funny card, Diva found a blank card in some of my stationery and wrote a sweet note on it. Diva also brought me a handful of rose blooms (no stem to speak of- she picked them off of the volunteer rosebush along our fence.) and also baked a chocolate cake for me. She really enjoyed all that, and I did too because she is so honest and sweet about it. Sproing briefly told me "happy Mother's Day" and gave me a hug, then bounced out of the room to do whatever it is he does. I didn't hear from Light at all, but had visited her on Friday anyway, so I'm fine with that. She often tells me how much she appreciates me, so I don't need to hear it from her on the one "special" day. Phooey on "special days." I didn't hear peep one from S and C. Am I pissed? No, not really. Maybe a little sad, but not mad.
• I saw my therapist today. Between her being out of the office for one thing and another, and me being out of town, it has been almost 6 weeks since I last saw her. We really need to not go that far between sessions! It was a good session. I see her again next week. The week after that, though, her daughter is getting married, so she's out of the office again. Eh. We'll get me scheduled in there somewhere.
• My allergies are annoying me. I don't know what is blooming, but whatever it is, I'm allergic to it. Every time I'm outside for any length of time my eyes get itchy. I tried to wear my contact lenses today, but I had to take them out this evening when my left eye got too irritated. After half an hour my eye finally stopped itching. Ugh.
• Sproing had his final visit with the child psychiatrist this afternoon. She is moving away next month. She's been great ever since we started having issues with Twitch about 4 years ago. Twitch, Diva, and Sproing all see her. She's the only child psychiatrist in town. Oy. Diva sees her in 2 weeks. Diva and Sproing will continue to see counselors in the office. Twitch really needs to be under the care of a doctor because of the combination of conditions from which he suffers. At this point, though, he doesn't need regular therapy sessions. My stars but how that boy has improved over the last 2 years!!
  
• I'm feeling blue again. An overwhelming wave of sadness washed over me this afternoon on the way home from Sproing's doctor's office. Maybe the stress of parenting three difficult children is weighing on me. Maybe I'm just tired. Hormones probably play a part somewhere, somehow. I dread the summer heat, we are seeing warmer temperatures now. It's time. Whatever the combination of causes, I'm feeling sad and tired. I'll try not to whine too much.
  
• I fixed supper tonight. Superman cooks more often than I do anymore, but now that I'm not working, I know I should take on more of that responsibility. I told him when he got home that supper was in the oven, and he was thrilled. That made me feel good. We all sat down together at the table to eat (not C and S, but the other three) and it was miserable. Diva was pouting and slouching over her plate. Twitch was in a foul mood. Sproing was whining about not being hungry, though I knew he was and that he needs to eat. And each one of the ungrateful wretches complained about the food. Superman liked it. He is wonderful. The rest of them can go jump in a lake.
  

Suggestive pose

I'm having fun surfing for images this evening. There are lots of interesting pictures on the interweb!

Not today!!

Mother's Day Rant 2008

I get like this nearly every year. Forewarned is forearmed.

Disclaimer #1
For my mother, my mother-in-law, my stepmother (oops, forgot about her until just now) I have no trouble honoring them on Mother's Day. I do so in a simple, non-complicated, not-commercially-motivated way. Same for my grandmothers, but there aren't any left now, unfortunately. This has everything to do with those whom I mother, not those who are mothers to me.

Disclaimer #2
The opinions expressed in this rant are mine and mine alone, and are in no way a reflection of my feelings toward anyone else and his/her opinions on the topic.

We shall now proceed to the rant

[this bit is mostly preamble to the rant]
I am a mother. This means many things. I gave birth to two children and adopted two children, so there are four children who share my last name and for whom I am legally responsible. More than that, though, I have taken two more young people into my home (non-legally)(which is not to say illegally. big difference!) and I am a surrogate mother for them. Many years ago I was a temporary foster mother for newborn babies awaiting adoption. These are a few of the ways in which the term "mother" applies to me.

I also am a mother in an active sense. I mother. Verb. I tend to mother many people in many situations. Most of the close friends of my children receive some of my mothering. I acted motherly with the students on my bus. I have also done some mothering with many blog friends. Sometimes I mother because it is my nature. My excuse: I'm a mother. It's what we do.

I'm a mother. It's what we do. As a mother and when I mother I want respect. To me, respect means to be nice to me. You (the subject of my mothering efforts) don't need to agree with me. Unless you are my minor child, living in my home and are my legal responsibility, you don't have to listen to me or do what I suggest. If you ignore my advice that is your decision and I (probably) won't take offense. If you'd rather I didn't voice my opinions in a motherly fashion, kindly tell me. I will attempt to honor your request. The key word in this paragraph is "kindly." That's what respect means to me.

I have been told by many people that I am a good mother, that they wish they had had a mother like me, or even that they wish I had been/would be their mother. I am very honored by this.

[this is where it begins to get rant-ish]
My distress comes from those I most actively mother. Maybe it's the daily drudgery, or the familiarity, or that the better they know me the more they see my faults and the less respect they have for me. Whatever the cause, the children (including the adult-aged children) in my home do not show me respect.

The children in my home are the ones who mean the most to me. Well, them plus the one of my own who usually lives away at college. I'll include her in the "means the most to me" category, but she doesn't fit in the "has no respect for me" category. My Light is the light of my life (one of 'em!) and makes me so proud! But I digress.

[here comes the vitriol]
To continue: The youngsters who live here show virtually no respect. Ever. (virtually. some exceptions, though rare) Maybe I shouldn't, but I take this as a personal affront. Rarely do they care about my needs, they blatantly ignore me and often are directly disrespectful. They are rude to each other, inconsiderate, slovenly, destructive, mindless, dense, lazy, greedy and selfish.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Some of these children will attempt to be nice to me tomorrow. It rings hollow when on one day of the year they act all loving and thankful to me. If you don't exhibit these qualities every day, or at least make an obvious attempt on a regular and frequent basis, do not come to me with pretty cards and flowers and boxes of chocolate and smile disingenuously to tell me how much you appreciate me! Bullshit! If the only time of the year you can force these lies through your teeth is on Mother's Day, then forget it. I don't want to hear it. I am interested in honesty. What you do speaks louder than what you say. What you do on a typical day means more than what you pretend on one "special" day. If you truly want me to know that you appreciate me and what I do for you, then show me in the way you conduct yourself at home and in your daily life every day. Otherwise, shove it up your ass.

Others of them, I suspect, will completely ignore me and the contributions I make to their lives. In a small way I see this as a sign of my success. I'm doing so well they don't notice what they might otherwise lack. In a larger sense I realize they are ungrateful, shallow, and selfish. I don't expect, neither do I desire lavish displays of appreciation. I would like them to voluntarily and without prompt simply thank me for trying to take care of their physical and emotional needs. This specifically applies to the ones for whom I am a surrogate mother. They are old enough to realize and appreciate my efforts at least a little bit. It is very important, necessary for the honesty of it all, that they do this completely without prompt. S sometimes reads my blog, and if he sees this, it will be his prompt. C'est la vie.

To give them credit, the boyz do occasionally express appreciation. S more often than C. S goes through stages where he's concerned about me and does a pretty good job looking out for me, trying to keep me from frustrating myself more. It isn't easy work! But there are also many times when I feel he is taking me for granted. Love may be a many splendored thing, but it's hard, too.

I know they love me, these children/young adults who live with me. And I love all of them. But if I only see expressions of love on Mother's Day it just makes me mad. I feel even less appreciated if they have to be forced by this "holiday" to make the attempt.

New shews

I got the boy some new shoes.

Hmmm. They seem to be out-of-focus shoes. I hadn't noticed that before. No matter.

'Twas Tuesday he came to me complaining about his shoes. Once he decides he needs something like that, he thinks he needs it immediately. He nagged me about it all afternoon.

"Mom, will you take me out to get some new shoes?"

Not right now. Maybe Dad can take you when he gets home from work.

"Mom, I really need new shoes!"

I know. You will get new shoes. But not now, and maybe not today.

Then I asked him to wash the outside of the windows along the front of the house.

"If I do, will you take me to get some shoes?"

Not necessarily. Go wash the windows. Argh!

I went out with him to help with the rinse, and to take pictures of the old shoes. Diva joined us and had a lovely time scrubbing the shutters.

There are no pictures of Diva enjoying herself with the soap because I'd put the camera inside so it wouldn't get wet. Twitch did the windows, Diva did the shutters, and I rinsed.

I really hoped that Superman would take Twitch out to get shoes. I do not like shoe shopping! I'd rather take him than Diva, though. That girl loves to shop for shoes. She'll try on every pair she can get her feet into just for the fun of it. I do not see the allure. Drives me nuts.

But when Superman got home he felt icky, like he was coming down with a cold. We did something for dinner, I can't remember what. Diva and Sproing were getting ready for bed, and Superman was sprawled out on the bed looking tired and sick.
There was nothing left but to do it myself. Dear me. So Twitch and I headed out to the shoe store. By the time we left the house it was after 8:30. Of course the shoe store closes at 9:00. We entered the store at 9:50. *

We tried to be quick. The boy has a large wide foot with practically no arch, so it isn't so easy to find a shoe that fits. He wanted a shoe in a dark color, not white. As you can tell by the picture he had to settle for white. I told him we could come back after school Wednesday and look some more, or go to another store Wednesday afternoon. But no. He had decided he needed shoes that day. So he settled for white. Whatever. No skin off my nose.

Here he is Captain Morgan-ing it up for the camera in his nice new shoes. I had the clerk at the shoe store throw the other ones away. Good riddance

And here's a picture Twitch took of himself. Doesn't he have gorgeous soft brown eyes? And a big nose? (bad camera angle there)

*I know those clerks weren't happy. Sorry. I don't like to do that.

Computer headaches :::Update:::

I am having trouble with the internet connection on my laptop. Right now I'm on our old desktop. There seems to be something wrong with the wireless router, I think. I'm not good at these things. On the laptop I have a connection to the main box computer, but no outside access. The diagnostic keeps telling me there is a cable unplugged, but I've checked all the cables and everything is plugged in the way (I think) it is supposed to be. I'm very frustrated! And obviously we've got internet coming into the house, or else I wouldn't be able to access my blog to type this. Argh!!!

We're connected again!! C adjusted some settings on something, a network manager I think, and got me back online. C is my hero for the morning. :)

Tell me what you think

Twitch wants a new pair of shoes. He needs a new pair of shoes. The stitching has come out of one of the side seams, so there is a large gap. He was complaining to me about this hole. It is getting bigger. He said the hole used to be the size of a vagina, but now it's big enough to put a baseball through.

Based on this information, can you determine Twitch's sexual orientation?

Yammer

Nothing much to report, so I'm gonna ramble aimlessly for a while

• We survived the weekend. Superman is putting down flooring (laminate, sturdy stuff) in Light's bedroom. She comes home from her first year at college next Friday. We need to finish fixing up the room before she gets here and moves all that other junque into it. We'll probably not be able to SEE the floor until she moves back to the dorm in late August.
• Friday evening was the elementary school's Spring Carnival. I sent baked goods to sell in the bake sale. I DID NOT attend! The wonderful Superman took the kids and a good time was had by all. Including me. Who stayed home. Happily.
• Thursday was the day I needed to do all the baking for the school carnival. I delayed and ignored and averted until 'twas well after midnight when I actually baked those damn cookies. They were good, of course. By the time I was finished baking, then had to wait for the cookies (I also made a pan full of cake-like bar cookie things) to cool enough to put them in individual wrappings, it was too late to go to bed. Does that make sense? I had to make sure the stuff got to the school, so I just stayed up. Superman was able to take the box of goodies to the school when he took the kidlets, so that worked. Then I went to bed.
• And also on Thursday I bought myself a new sewing machine. The old one, very old, needed some repairs and maintenance. I took it to "the place" and the fella said a cleaning and tune up would cost at least $65, and it may need some parts, too. However, there were a couple of new machines, discontinued, on clearance. I got a fairly nice machine for $150. It does more than the old one did. I haven't gotten it out of the box yet, because on Thursday I was supposed to bake, not sew. Superman only last night brought the machine in from the truck. The table I use for sewing has been in Light's room since she left for college all these months ago. Since her floor is being installed, the table is now in the middle of the living room with stuff piled on it. There isn't a comfortable place to set up my new machine. So it is still in the box. Now that we've survived the weekend and I'm not required to bake more cookies, I might just get to play with my machine.
• But not today. At least not while the kids are at school. Because today I did something worthwhile, one of those chores that has been waiting on me for a while. I finished painting the trim in Light's room. She painted her room last summer, but never got quite done with the trim. I have of course intended to finish the trim since she left for school in August. Now that Superman has most of the stuff out of that room, I figured the time wasn't going to get better. I'd already masked the trim, it was ready to paint. Has been for MONTHS. So today I did it. Good for me.
• And because Superman has so many projects he needs to work on around the house, the house decided it wanted even more of his attention. S was in the backyard this morning when I was washing out the paintbrush in the kitchen sink. He knocked on the kitchen window to tell me he heard water leaking under the house. Leaking a lot, evidently. And it stinks. I called Superman. First I asked him how his day is going. He said busy, but fine. OK, it's safe to tell him. If he'd been having one of those days from hell, I'd have waited to tell him about the leak. I told him. He sighed that deep depressive sigh of a homeowner whose house is falling apart on him. Do you know that one?
• This is one of those things about me. When I think I don't have anything to talk about, I can nevertheless ramble on THIS long!! People who know me well are not surprised. Yet I'm always amazed. Is it denial? Or inattention?

We were this desperate in 1977

I just got this in an email from Mama. Evidently it has been making the email rounds for a few months. I Googled it and found the original blog post. You MUST go read it if you have yet to see it. I present you with a tantalizing tidbit...

OMG what were we thinking?

One of my favorite games

with a different twist

2XMeme

Ed, who should have a blog of his own, but uses Dirk's comments as his oration station, has tagged me with this meme. Being an independent and stubborn bitch, I've decided to do it but make up my own rules about it. Part of the deal, though, is for Ed to seriously consider, and I mean SERIOUSLY consider that it is time for him to have his own blog.

The first rule I've changed is the one about posting the rules.

Two names you go by:
1. Mom
2. Java

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Contact lenses
2. Old comfortable unstylish pants

Two longest car rides:
1. Macon, GA to Boston, MA Spring 1982, to visit my boyfriend who attended MIT. 2 weeks before I met Superman. The thing with the other boy? It didn't work out.
2. Gainesville, FL to Silverton, CO Summer of 197something. Through Texas. Have you ever driven east to west through Texas in summer? It takes a l-o-n-g time. At least three years.

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Blog
2. Spend time with Superman

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. For my two youngest children to want to do what's right, rather than look for ways to irritate others and break the rules.
2. Can't think of anything else I want Very Badly

Two animals you have or have had:
1. Ruby – dog, current. She is old and in poor health and will not be with us much longer, I'm afraid
2. Clyde – a single male Lovebird. Who masturbated. A lot.

Two people who will fill this out:
1. [insert your name here]
2. [you, too]

Two things you ate today:
1. The most delicious scrambled eggs that Superman made for my breakfast
2. Really good meatballs over jasmine rice that Superman made for dinner (if it weren't for Superman, I might starve, or possibly become malnourished from eating nothing but Little Debbie Nutty Bars all day)

Two people you last talked to:
1. Sproing
2. Superman

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Sleeping, since I'll be up late tonight baking cookies for the kids' school carnival bake sale tomorrow. (good mommy points for baking cookies)
2. Thinking up excuses to not go to the kids' school carnival tomorrow. (lose good mommy points for avoiding the carnival)

Two favorite holidays:
1. Christmas: Advent, and the Christmas season for the week after Christmas. You know, after everyone has taken down the Christmas decorations and they stop playing Christmas music on the radio.
2. The first day of school. Technically not a holiday, but mothers of young children everywhere will understand that it bloody well SHOULD be a holiday.

Two favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. White grape with peach juice That is my current favorite. Ask again in a few weeks and I'll probably have a different second choice.