How we got here
Why we got here
What we're doing here
Book seven
Now that C lives with us the house is even more crowded. After a week or two we started feeling the squeeze. There were no major blow-ups, nothing really bad happened. Everyone just got irritable.
C was suffering through a traumatic time in his life. He was still trying to get comfortable with the idea of being gay. He knew he couldn't deny it, but he was still working on accepting and embracing it. His years in the church made that more difficult.
His circle of friends was changing, as many of his old friends rejected him now that he was out. Of course having his mother reject him to the extent she did was very traumatic. He was living in a new home with lots of people in it. This home was very different from the one he'd been in. C is an only child, now suddenly he has 4 other "siblings" to deal with. Light has always been the oldest, now she has an older "brother." Light and C had been friends for a couple of years, but the friendship suffered for a while. They have since reconciled and are very close again, but it took at least a year to get that far. Light moving out of the house and into a dorm has helped, as has 2 more years of maturity for both of them.
C needed a lot of attention. He was uncomfortable with Superman, never having had a positive relationship with an adult male. I was extremely curious about what "gay" really is and had lots of questions for him. So we talked. A lot. Many times. Hours on end. And I still had to get up at 4:30 to drive the bus. I was very tired.
C and I spent so much time together that I didn't have much time to spend on anyone else in the family. I made sure to spend good quality alone time with Superman, and I hope it was enough. We are still happily married so I assume I did OK. The other kids were feeling pretty needy, and jealous of the time I spent with my "new baby." I was being pulled in lots of directions, and it was all very draining. I didn't mind. It was a labor of love, and I benefited greatly as well. That doesn't erase the fact that I was emotionally drained.
One of the issues that concerned me about C was his growing relationship with S. I thought the two of them were adorable and I encouraged them toward a healthy relationship. You know what it's like to fall in love. They were dreamy, distracted, and couldn't get enough of each other. As I said, adorable. However, they weren't always alone or in a private place when they were together. There was much public display of affection. Y'all, this is a small southern town. It is the 21st century, but early yet. Greenwood isn't ready to see two boys hugging and kissing all over each other. Both of them were at the stage where they didn't care what others thought and wanted to prove a point, to teach tolerance through over exposure or something. I don't know. When the three of us were out together, I walked between them a lot. My warnings fell on deaf ears. Thankfully there were no major incidents.
Almost. There is now a court order preventing C from ever stepping foot on the campus of our county vocational school. S was taking a class there and C would drive him over. They sat in the car, spending as much time together as possible before S had to go to class. The deputy who is the school's resource officer saw some PDA and took out a warrant on C. She claims she saw a sex act. The boys swear they were just kissing. She's a bitch of the first order anyway, and neither of them is enrolled in the public schools now.
Speaking of sex, they needed to do that safely, too. I'm not referring to using protection, though I did encourage that strongly. They needed a safe place where they could be free to express their love intimately. (Sounds so flowery when I say it like that. Hehehe) Before C moved to our house that had been a problem. I was so afraid they'd get caught and bad things would happen. S was only 16, and I was afraid C would end up on the sex offender list forever. Turns out the age of consent in South Carolina is 16, but I still wasn't sure but what some homophobic lawyer or judge would find a way to make that charge stick. This is all worst case scenario stuff, but it's what mothers do.
So we discussed sex, specifically where and when. Not what or how, please! I wasn't ready for that information! With only a little bit of discomfort, I told them that our house, specifically C's room with the door locked was a safe place.
I was still a bit uncomfortable with the whole sex thing. It wasn't necessarily the homosexual part, but the idea that two unmarried young people were sexually active, and in my own house! It's a religious thing. I've been a fundamental Christian for over 20 years, y'all. These issues of faith don't change overnight. When I considered that the boys couldn't get married, that helped ease my conscience a little bit.
And I knew they were going to be intimate whether I liked it or not. I figured the best thing I could do in this situation was keep them as safe as possible. So we bought a keyed doorknob for their room to keep things secure and private.
Diva and Sproing presented another sticky issue. They were 8 years old and in the second grade. This had its problems and benefits. It's good for them to learn at such a young age that homosexuality is normal and nothing to get all crazy about. Considering that this attitude toward homosexuality is rare in our culture today, it was tricky getting them to know what to say and what not to say, whom to tell and who not to tell. Children talk without benefit of a filter for appropriate information. I told their teachers about the situation at home. I figured forewarned is forearmed. Both the teachers seemed pretty cool with everything.
Then there was the issue of TMI for the kids. I frequently had to remind C and S that there are things you don't do or say around young children. This continues to be an issue, though not as much as before.
C was living here, but S was still living at his mother's house. He spent a lot of time here, but usually went home in the evenings. Sometimes he would stay overnight. I don't recall there being any problems, though Light is better at remembering these details. C and I still talked. S and I talked a little bit, but he still didn't feel as comfortable opening up to me. He's not as forthcoming as C is anyway. He's had a tough life, and it has been hard for him to trust. I don't think he's seen a relationship last very long. Both his parents go through relationships in a most unhealthy way, IMHO. With the exception of his grandparents, I'm not sure anyone in his immediate family has stayed in a relationship as long as he and C have now. S has matured a lot in the last two years.
Coming soon in book eight: Even more stress, and its effect on my mental/emotional health.
