More about bad children and bad parenting

I am desperately trying to keep it together. I'm close to breaking. Today this is one of my coping mechanisms. Jason Mraz is singing positive messages to me.

In yesterday's post I told you that my children are rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. Allow me to continue the story.

Both of them disappeared last night. Sproing is still on probation with a court ordered 7:00 curfew. He's officially released from probation on Monday, but Friday night isn't Monday. He wandered off with his friends and didn't come home until some time this morning. When I got up to take care of HIS dog at 5:45 he was not at home. The dog and I went back to bed and when I got up at 10:00 he was here. I refuse to talk to him. He tried to ask me a few things, but I glared at him in lieu of an answer.

Diva also wandered off somewhere last night and is still missing. I assume she's with friends. She said something to one of the other guys around here about going to the Spring Festival in Abbeville, the little town west of us. I had told her no, she could not go. Her Daddy told her before he left for Georgia yesterday that no she may not go. I think she went. It's after 4 in the afternoon now and still no girl. And Sproing, who in addition to being on probation is grounded, has left again. Total disregard for my authority as their mother. 

I am getting very close to having a nervous breakdown. I feel a strong need to flee. Superman and Twitch are on their way home from Georgia now. They were supposed to stay with Superman's folks until tomorrow, but in part because our children are trolls, he is coming home early. But also he left his CPAP here so he couldn't sleep last night. When he gets here he's gonna be in a really foul mood and not in any state to be reasoned with. I am glad he's coming back, sorry for the reasons he needs to come back, and not looking forward to dealing with his mood. Hell, he probably isn't looking forward to dealing with my crazy ass, either.

Remember Diva's door? Here's a reminder. This morning in my anger and frustration and crazy-ass-ness I painted over the door. I found some dark green paint, stirred it up, got my little 2 inch brush and put a very thick coat of paint over that mess. A very thick coat. I didn't neatly paint the door, I just covered what was there. When I walked down the hall recently I noticed that the paint is running down. There are run/drip marks below where I painted. Don't know if it has dripped to the floor yet. Don't care if it does. The floor is just underlayment that needs to be replaced before we can put some kind of finished flooring on it. Which is another frustration in my life, all the unfinished remodel projects around here.

I am mentally packing my bags and planning my escape. I considered leaving today before Superman and Twitch get home, but have decided not to do that. It's wet and cool outside today. I kinda like the cool, but the wet hampers attempts to do anything outside. I'd like to go camping, but not in the rain.

I need to get out of here. This is my mental health escape. I could get my psychiatrist to admit me to the hospital, but that would be more expensive and probably a lot less effective than a solo trip to a leafy mountainous location. Not sure when I'll leave or how long I'll be gone. If I go within a few days I will be gone less than a week. If I wait a couple more weeks I can be gone a bit longer. I feel a long drive coming on. I want to see some powerful big water. Maybe I'll go to the ocean, or perhaps a raging river or a big waterfall.